DARKPLANT RISING Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 This is my first fan fic. I hope it's good because I actually go to a special online writing school, CTY. ~Prolouge~ This is year 21XX, Japan. A Company named the "Kenta Corporation" has took over I2, Kaiba Corporation, and all related items. As it turns out, the Kenta Corporation's Executive Head, Kenta, has finally started his evil plan to conquer the world using the Duel Monsters World’s real monsters, in another dimension. Kenta has succeeded in having his cards possessed with the monsters, so that they will become real as they are summoned. They can damage, destroy, and kill as well. Kenta is not waiting for enough time to pass. Now, he has began his first experiment, on Domino City... Chapter 1- Experiment Thunder rumbled and flashed above the Kenta Corporation Tower, the main stronghold of the evil association. In its top floor, a boy was sitting on a chair at a table with thousands of Duel Monster Cards stacked on. He was wearing a black vest, and a badge with the words, “KC” on it. Just then, the door opened, and a young man approached the desk. “Sir Kenta, I have finished the “Experiment”. There is a video of it.” The man took out a record tape out of his pocket on his jacket with the words, “Kenta Corp” on it. The boy called Kenta took it, and slammed it into the player. A screen showed up. Kenta grinned, and whispered silently, “perfect…” There was a giant room the size of a basket ball field, and 2 figures were inside. Both were wearing duel disks, and immense monstrosities the size of houses were barely placed inside. One of the figures was the man. The other was another man, but smaller. He seemed more like a teenager. And he was frightened. “I summon the Dark Armed Dragon!” the Kenta Corp’s man roared. Out of the ground, another creature, a black dragon with glorious armor, shot out, and screamed at the other man. He backed down, and crumpled to the floor, muttering something about the world being stupid for making such mythological creatures come to life. “Attack!” with those words, the dragon shot out a gigantic ball of dark flame at the whimpering, helpless man. “AAAAHHHHH!!!” he screamed as the inferno completely consumed him. When the Dragon and the other monsters disappeared, all left of the man was only ashes, his duel disk, and the cards he once had. Kenta looked up and pressed the “Pause” button. “And so, finally it has worked. Now, we can start the plan that we had been longing for years for success. We shall rule the world with the powers of our ultimate systems and technology!” He cried. “Yes, master…” the staff whispered. “We shall start the plan on Saturday. Then our domination will succeed.” Kenta grinned, and set down his deck on the table. “Until then, I will check out what the world is like. The Japanese Government may be more of a threat then I think…” With that, Kenta stood up, and walked out the door. Chapter 2- As the lightning rumbled, someone was running through the sidewalk, carrying a waterproof bag in his hands. He was Luke, a boy in Domino City. The rain was steadily becoming harder. He will have to get back to home soon. That was when he got a glimpse of his house in the distance. He dashed in, and shut the door again. That was when he realized that the TV was on. His dad was watching it. “Hey, look at this.” He said, and pushed Luke next to him. Luke sat down on the sofa, and gasped. The Statue of Liberty was melting rapidly. Next to it was a giant mass of molten lava, growing and growing till it made up the shape of a giant creature awakening from inside. “It looks like Volcanic Doomfire,” Luke gasped. “But how can this be…? “Things like this have happened before numerously,” dad explained. “For instance, the shadow games made up real monsters, according to the Duelist King Yugi. Through the usual Duel Disk does get able to summon realistic monsters, it doesn’t make it real. And the fact this is on news means that this is definitely not CG. And the Statue can’t melt by CG as well. Something weird is occurring…” As the family watched, Doomfire crashed one of its gigantic fists onto the left hand of the statue, making it fall down to the ground. The book part can’t be read now. Even the big letters were undistinguishable from the melting metal. Then, it roared-a roar that was horrifyingly real- and started taking apart the body. “Something is wrong,” Luke whispered. “My duel disk can’t do that much damage. My friend also has a Doomfire, but it wasn’t that big. And also, it doesn’t melt statues, nor do anything except attack monsters and players. And even if the player is directly attacked, monsters don’t kill. They don’t even hurt much.” “That is perfectly true. It is certainly weird that that monster is so powerful. Luke, try not to go out very often. If the association that did this is near-” That was when the TV said, “It is thought that the Kenta Corporation is suspect of the crimes that occurred. The man who did this act was later captured, and found he was a worker of the KC. He did not get associated with any other forces, associations, or organizations of any kind.” ` “Ok,” dad sighed. We might have to move. The Kenta Corporation’s Tower is only 2 cities away. We should go to Hokkaido (the most northern state of Japan). Or else, we might get in trouble…” That was when the door burst open. When the family turned back almost immediately, something dashed into the room. A dark shape. The Doomsday Horror was inside! P.S. This story is almost completely fictional. The only real character inside is Kenta, (me) and I definately am not a executive head of a giant company. Also, I am not evil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starly Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 a bit rushed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted June 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 thanks for commenting (No! I don't mean sarcasm! I respect all comments except if it says it sucks!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Traveler Posted June 17, 2009 Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 Try spacing in between paragraphs. Use a lot more descriptive details, and make your chapters more lengthy. Go over your Chapters a bit more, and try using a program like Microsoft Word, spellcheck is your friend. And have someone beta read this before you submit a new chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted June 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2009 I used Word to to this... but I'll maybe have a freind read this back Thanks for the tip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted June 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 18, 2009 bumpy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyanAtlus Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 Not bad, but make the chapters longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted June 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 Ok! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Masked Killer Posted June 19, 2009 Report Share Posted June 19, 2009 Hey,how do you make a plastic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted June 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2009 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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