Black Luster History

Rucario · June 16, 2009

I'm not really used to posting here. In case you asked, this is my Original Idea, i didn't steal someone else's Idea.

[spoiler=Legend of the Black Luster][align=center]

There was once a weak clan by the name of Black. Many other clans attacked this clan and almost wiped it out but the survivors had a plan, they made a ritual to create the "Luster Sword".

They used the Luster Sword to wipe out entire armies but one country was saved by the sacrifice of it's Leader.

The country was so angry so they caught a dragon and fused it with same material used to create the Luster Sword. The dragon with it's mighty powers then wiped out half of the clan.

One member of the clan then sacrificed his life to annihilate the dragon for good. This left the country defenseless.

The Black clan then used multiple rituals and made many Luster Swords and used their power to wipe out the entire country. The clan was then forever known as The Unstoppable Black Luster.......................[/align]

[spoiler=Submitting Characters]I think I solved my problem and now I feel like bringing people more into the Story. But first, I need names, Duel Monsters, and Ideas (No turning back now......):

Character Name:

Duel Monster Name:

Background:

Personality:

Side:

You all can use custom Yugioh Cards, as long as they are not Joke Cards. Don't rush me. I'm currently focusing on the first Sentence:

"There was once a Weak Clan by the Name of Black. Many other clans attacked this Clan and almost wiped it out but the survivors had a Plan, they made a Ritual to Create the "Luster Sword"."

.:Abarai Renji:. · June 16, 2009

So, this is basically a history about the origins of a YuGiOh! Monster?

I like the idea!

Kendo Fish · June 17, 2009

One bad thing: there's too many capital letters! So whatever rhymes with "plan" and any...ANY title...is capitalized? it reminds me of German, where they capitalize other letters than the letters they do in english. MightyoubeGerman!?

Anyways, you might have something here. Just fix that and you should have a good story. :D

.:Abarai Renji:. · June 17, 2009

Character Name: Ruthius the Tyrant

Duel Monster Name: Sorcerer of Dark Magic

Background:

Personality: Tyrannic and sadistic, Ruthius doesn't show any mercy to his victims.

Character Name: Elena

Duel Monster Name: Elena, the Undivided Witch(made by me)

Background:

[spoiler=Normal Form]

[spoiler=Elemental Forms]

Personality: Elena is, in her normal form, cheerful and optimistic. But as her temper changes, so does her form.

Fire Form: When she's angry and loses control, she becomes her Fire Form

Earth Form: When she feels like protecting someone, she becomes her Earth Form

Water Form: Usually appears when she's sad, but also when she just wants to swim awhile.

Darkness Form: When she feels evil, sometimes, she becomes her Sadistic Darkness Form.

RyanAtlus · June 17, 2009

One bad thing: there's too many capital letters! So whatever rhymes with "plan" and any...ANY title...is capitalized? it reminds me of German' date=' where they capitalize other letters than the letters they do in english. MightyoubeGerman!?

Anyways, you might have something here. Just fix that and you should have a good story. :D
[/quote']

In German, every noun is capitalized.
God, being polyglotic is cool.

.:Traceur:. · June 18, 2009

Character name: Tyler

Duel Monster: Silent Swordsman

Background: optional...you put something...(he has no parents)

Personality: sarcastic,arrogant,always alone and wants to work alone.

.:Abarai Renji:. · June 21, 2009

Are our characters accepted, Rucario?

Crystal Beast 123 · June 30, 2009

Alright, I got bored. Let's review this fic with Weather Report Style!

I'm not really used to posting here. In case you asked' date=' this is my Original Idea, i didn't steal someone else's Idea.
Good Job. Such a difference from most members in this area. Still not gonna let up, though.
[spoiler=Legend of the Black Luster][align=center]

There was once a weak clan by the name of Black. What a creative name.[/sarcasm] Many other clans attacked this clan For no apparent reason? Wow, that's kinda mean, eh? and almost wiped it out but the survivors had a plan, They always do, don't they? they made a ritual to create the "Luster Sword". Sounds shiny.

They used the Luster Sword How was the Sword forged? Where was it forged? What does it do? to wipe out entire armies OKAY that's insane. How the heck do you destroy entire armies with one sword?!?! but one country was saved by the sacrifice of it's Leader. Leader? Their leader was a banana, wasn't he?

The country was so angry Of course. Anger solves everything. so they caught a dragon What? and fused it WHAT? with same material used to create the Luster Sword. HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD do you fuse a dragon with a sword!??!? The dragon, with it's mighty powers then wiped out half of the clan. Clan? What clan? Do you mean Black? Or the Banana Clan? Of course you mean the Banana Clan! It's where their Leader came from!

One member Who? of the Banana clan then sacrificed his life to annihilate the dragon for good. So a banana randomly sacrifices his life to take out a dragon? How does that work? This left the country defenseless. O RLY?

The Black clan then used multiple rituals What rituals? When? How many? What did they do? and made many Luster Swords Why didn't they do this obvious thing at the beginning? and used their power to wipe out the entire country. Da powah keeps switching over bananas to dragons. The clan was then forever known as The Unstoppable Black Luster.......................Is that supposed to scare me? Or impress me? Because either way, that was a pathetic attempt.[/align]

Okay, you could of explained a lot more than that, sir. Your story is just a continuous list of how the Bananas get stronger than a nameless country. Yay. How boring.

Have a nice day!

The Warden · June 30, 2009

Character Name: Lord Necross

Duel Monster Name: Chaos Necromancer

Background: A once weak monster due to his level, Lord Necross has gathered many souls and uses their power. He intends to claim the souls of the Black tribe to further bolster his power.

Personality: He is careful, showing disinterest unless there is a soul for him to claim.

Side: None

.Legend · June 30, 2009

Character Name: Zeke Tranis

Duel Monster Name: The Dark magician

Background: Zekes parents died when he was young and nothing else is know abought him.

Personality: Shy, Timid

Side: Good

Rucario · June 30, 2009

Alright' date=' I got bored. Let's review this fic with [b']Weather Report Style[/b]!

I'm not really used to posting here. In case you asked' date=' this is my Original Idea, i didn't steal someone else's Idea.
Good Job. Such a difference from most members in this area. Still not gonna let up, though.
[spoiler=Legend of the Black Luster][align=center]

There was once a weak clan by the name of Black. What a creative name.[/sarcasm] I couldn't think of anything cooler. Many other clans attacked this clan For no apparent reason? Wow, that's kinda mean, eh? Ehhh...to steal the Money and stuff and almost wiped it out but the survivors had a plan, They always do, don't they?they made a ritual to create the "Luster Sword". Sounds shiny.

They used the Luster Sword How was the Sword forged? Where was it forged? What does it do? It was forged by a ritual to wipe out entire armies OKAY that's insane. How the heck do you destroy entire armies with one sword?!?! With a Special Ritual to make the Sword but one country was saved by the sacrifice of it's Leader. Leader? Their leader was a banana, wasn't he?Grrrrrrrr..........

The country was so angry Of course. Anger solves everything. so they caught a dragon What? and fused it WHAT? with same material used to create the Luster Sword. HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD do you fuse a dragon with a sword!??!? You'll find that out when I start the Reason of this Thread The dragon, with it's mighty powers then wiped out half of the clan. Clan? What clan? Do you mean Black? Or the Banana Clan? Of course you mean the Banana Clan! It's where their Leader came from! Grrrr.......FROM THE BLACK CLAN, THE COUNTRY ISN"T EVEN A CLAN!!!!!

One member Who? Reason of the Thread exists of the Banana Grrrr....IT'S THE BLACK CLAN!!!! clan then sacrificed his life to annihilate the dragon for good. So a banana randomly sacrifices his life to take out a dragon? How does that work? A brave warrior kills the dragon but at the same time, the Dragon kills the Warrior, like that This left the country defenseless. O RLY?

The Black clan then used multiple rituals What rituals? When? How many? What did they do? REASON OF THE THREAD and made many Luster Swords Why didn't they do this obvious thing at the beginning? Because the Ritual has a price, you know! REASON OF THE THREAD! and used their power to wipe out the entire country. Da powah keeps switching over bananas to dragons. The clan was then forever known as The Unstoppable Black Luster.......................Is that supposed to scare me? Or impress me? Because either way, that was a pathetic attempt. It's just Dramatic, that's all.[/align]

Okay, you could of explained a lot more than that, sir. Your story is just a continuous list of how the Bananas get stronger than a nameless country. Yay. How boring.

Have a nice day!

Do you realize that it's just written like a Legend! It's supposed to be some kind of Legend! Think of other Legends! And tell me, why does this Thread even let others Submit Character?! So it can tell you the whole thing!

Weather Report - Stand · June 30, 2009

Alright' date=' I got bored. Let's review this fic with [b']Weather Report Style[/b]!

I'm not really used to posting here. In case you asked' date=' this is my Original Idea, i didn't steal someone else's Idea.
Good Job. Such a difference from most members in this area. Still not gonna let up, though.
[spoiler=Legend of the Black Luster][align=center]

There was once a weak clan by the name of Black. What a creative name.[/sarcasm] I couldn't think of anything cooler. Many other clans attacked this clan For no apparent reason? Wow, that's kinda mean, eh? Ehhh...to steal the Money and stuff and almost wiped it out but the survivors had a plan, They always do, don't they?they made a ritual to create the "Luster Sword". Sounds shiny.

They used the Luster Sword How was the Sword forged? Where was it forged? What does it do? It was forged by a ritual to wipe out entire armies OKAY that's insane. How the heck do you destroy entire armies with one sword?!?! With a Special Ritual to make the Sword but one country was saved by the sacrifice of it's Leader. Leader? Their leader was a banana, wasn't he?Grrrrrrrr..........

The country was so angry Of course. Anger solves everything. so they caught a dragon What? and fused it WHAT? with same material used to create the Luster Sword. HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD do you fuse a dragon with a sword!??!? You'll find that out when I start the Reason of this Thread The dragon, with it's mighty powers then wiped out half of the clan. Clan? What clan? Do you mean Black? Or the Banana Clan? Of course you mean the Banana Clan! It's where their Leader came from! Grrrr.......FROM THE BLACK CLAN, THE COUNTRY ISN"T EVEN A CLAN!!!!!

One member Who? Reason of the Thread exists of the Banana Grrrr....IT'S THE BLACK CLAN!!!! clan then sacrificed his life to annihilate the dragon for good. So a banana randomly sacrifices his life to take out a dragon? How does that work? A brave warrior kills the dragon but at the same time, the Dragon kills the Warrior, like that This left the country defenseless. O RLY?

The Black clan then used multiple rituals What rituals? When? How many? What did they do? REASON OF THE THREAD and made many Luster Swords Why didn't they do this obvious thing at the beginning? Because the Ritual has a price, you know! REASON OF THE THREAD! and used their power to wipe out the entire country. Da powah keeps switching over bananas to dragons. The clan was then forever known as The Unstoppable Black Luster.......................Is that supposed to scare me? Or impress me? Because either way, that was a pathetic attempt. It's just Dramatic, that's all.[/align]

Okay, you could of explained a lot more than that, sir. Your story is just a continuous list of how the Bananas get stronger than a nameless country. Yay. How boring.

Have a nice day!

Do you realize that it's just written like a Legend! It's supposed to be some kind of Legend! Think of other Legends! And tell me, why does this Thread even let others Submit Character?! So it can tell you the whole thing!

I don't agree with a lot of what "Banana Boy" CB123 said, but there are a few confusing things.

1. Black clan. Maybe it could have been the Luster Clan and that's where the 'luster' part of 'luster sword' came from.

2. Yeah, you should've said for pillaging and stuff earlier.

3. You never said they used a ritual until late in the intro, leaving us to guess where it came from until then.

4. You didn't specify which leader was sacrificed, so it could have well been a guy from the banana country.

5. You also COULD have specified which colony was half-killed, since that would have helped.

6. If one guy is dead, then how in the name of Ra is it defenseless? Is he the only warrior in the country?

7. What price? WE wouldn't KNOW since you never showed any indication of there being a price involved.

And THAT'S how my reviews would be if I had patience!

Rucario · July 1, 2009

Alright' date=' I got bored. Let's review this fic with [b']Weather Report Style[/b]!

I'm not really used to posting here. In case you asked' date=' this is my Original Idea, i didn't steal someone else's Idea.
Good Job. Such a difference from most members in this area. Still not gonna let up, though.
[spoiler=Legend of the Black Luster][align=center]

There was once a weak clan by the name of Black. What a creative name.[/sarcasm] I couldn't think of anything cooler. Many other clans attacked this clan For no apparent reason? Wow, that's kinda mean, eh? Ehhh...to steal the Money and stuff and almost wiped it out but the survivors had a plan, They always do, don't they?they made a ritual to create the "Luster Sword". Sounds shiny.

They used the Luster Sword How was the Sword forged? Where was it forged? What does it do? It was forged by a ritual to wipe out entire armies OKAY that's insane. How the heck do you destroy entire armies with one sword?!?! With a Special Ritual to make the Sword but one country was saved by the sacrifice of it's Leader. Leader? Their leader was a banana, wasn't he?Grrrrrrrr..........

The country was so angry Of course. Anger solves everything. so they caught a dragon What? and fused it WHAT? with same material used to create the Luster Sword. HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD do you fuse a dragon with a sword!??!? You'll find that out when I start the Reason of this Thread The dragon, with it's mighty powers then wiped out half of the clan. Clan? What clan? Do you mean Black? Or the Banana Clan? Of course you mean the Banana Clan! It's where their Leader came from! Grrrr.......FROM THE BLACK CLAN, THE COUNTRY ISN"T EVEN A CLAN!!!!!

One member Who? Reason of the Thread exists of the Banana Grrrr....IT'S THE BLACK CLAN!!!! clan then sacrificed his life to annihilate the dragon for good. So a banana randomly sacrifices his life to take out a dragon? How does that work? A brave warrior kills the dragon but at the same time, the Dragon kills the Warrior, like that This left the country defenseless. O RLY?

The Black clan then used multiple rituals What rituals? When? How many? What did they do? REASON OF THE THREAD and made many Luster Swords Why didn't they do this obvious thing at the beginning? Because the Ritual has a price, you know! REASON OF THE THREAD! and used their power to wipe out the entire country. Da powah keeps switching over bananas to dragons. The clan was then forever known as The Unstoppable Black Luster.......................Is that supposed to scare me? Or impress me? Because either way, that was a pathetic attempt. It's just Dramatic, that's all.[/align]

Okay, you could of explained a lot more than that, sir. Your story is just a continuous list of how the Bananas get stronger than a nameless country. Yay. How boring.

Have a nice day!