fenrir Posted September 12, 2009 Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 *Shrug* I honestly don't know. I guess couple with his appearance, slim posture and otherwise how you made him act. Or my sister could have slipped some medication in my soda. Both reasonable reasons as to why I think Duftmon reminded me of Gin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted September 12, 2009 Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 What happened to Heimdall? You accepted him and it's Heimdall' job to help humans enter the digital world and help then get used to it if they are successful. Wouldn't he be the one overseeing the inter-realm transfer? Quint reminds me of Raistlin. Not that you know him. He's a mage in dragonlance novels. Physically far weaker than his twin brother, Caramon, a strong and skilled warrior and swordsman, Raistlin makes up for this deficiency with a high intelligence and skills in the magic, the height of which never ceases to shock his companions throughout the first quest, as more and more of his great power becomes apparent. A torn individual, Raistlin exhibits a strong superiority complex (as far as his power in magic and his intelligence were concerned), and knows nothing of true loyalty (although, despite this, Raistlin usually keeps his promises and pays his debts). He only follows Tanis Half-Elven, the unofficial leader of the companions, because he feels that doing so will ultimately benefit him (he even says in one of the chronicles: "I'm not following them. We are only on the same path"). He is also condescending, extremely resentful regarding his lack of physical strength and often relies on his twin brother for support. This generates feelings of resentment and jealousy more than feelings of affection and gratitude. To be exact, Raistlin harbors a secret hate for his twin’s physical power, and for the attention and comradeship it seems to earn him, which Raistlin’s own appearance and secretive nature denies him. These factors ultimately culminate in Raistlin’s turn to evil, donning the Black Robes of evil wizards (those who worshiped the Black Moon, Nuitari), and, through a deadly deal he made in his youth with an ancient and legendary Archmage of terrible power, Fistandantilus, eventually rises to become the most powerful mortal on Krynn who will one day seek to become a god himself. Contrary to his usual nature, Raistlin holds a soft spot for others who are treated poorly because of weaknesses that are not their fault (such as gully dwarves). He identifies with such people, and is thus quick to help them as he is quick to help himself. There are also rare instances when Raistlin feels genuine regret that he cannot return to the times of his childhood, when he was capable of feeling love. This is somewhat of a regular occurrence throughout the saga, and to a large degree adds to his relative depth. It could be said that Raistlin's magic is a compensation for the things that he feels he can never have. He nurses his magic, because it gives him a sense of satisfaction, a sense of self-worth, that he the frail, weak, ridiculed, detested brother has something to which he and he alone can claim superiority. To maintain this sense of self-satisfaction however, he must attain greater and greater levels of mastery in his art in order to feel at peace with himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted September 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 Oh crap, I actually forgot about that guy. Fixed. Sorry, I think I have too many characters, and I haven't even given Hana and Quint they screen time they deserved. In fact, Quint hasn't even shown up yet, and has only been mentioned once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted September 12, 2009 Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 What happened to Heimdall? You accepted him and it's Heimdall' job to help humans enter the digital world and help then get used to it if they are successful. Wouldn't he be the one overseeing the inter-realm transfer? Quint reminds me of Raistlin. Not that you know him. He's a mage in dragonlance novels. Physically far weaker than his twin brother' date=' Caramon, a strong and skilled warrior and swordsman, Raistlin makes up for this deficiency with a high intelligence and skills in the magic, the height of which never ceases to shock his companions throughout the first quest, as more and more of his great power becomes apparent. A torn individual, Raistlin exhibits a strong superiority complex (as far as his power in magic and his intelligence were concerned), and knows nothing of true loyalty (although, despite this, Raistlin usually keeps his promises and pays his debts). He only follows Tanis Half-Elven, the unofficial leader of the companions, because he feels that doing so will ultimately benefit him (he even says in one of the chronicles: "I'm not following them. We are only on the same path"). He is also condescending, extremely resentful regarding his lack of physical strength and often relies on his twin brother for support. This generates feelings of resentment and jealousy more than feelings of affection and gratitude. To be exact, Raistlin harbors a secret hate for his twin’s physical power, and for the attention and comradeship it seems to earn him, which Raistlin’s own appearance and secretive nature denies him. These factors ultimately culminate in Raistlin’s turn to evil, donning the Black Robes of evil wizards (those who worshiped the Black Moon, Nuitari), and, through a deadly deal he made in his youth with an ancient and legendary Archmage of terrible power, Fistandantilus, eventually rises to become the most powerful mortal on Krynn who will one day seek to become a god himself. Contrary to his usual nature, Raistlin holds a soft spot for others who are treated poorly because of weaknesses that are not their fault (such as gully dwarves). He identifies with such people, and is thus quick to help them as he is quick to help himself. There are also rare instances when Raistlin feels genuine regret that he cannot return to the times of his childhood, when he was capable of feeling love. This is somewhat of a regular occurrence throughout the saga, and to a large degree adds to his relative depth. It could be said that Raistlin's magic is a compensation for the things that he feels he can never have. He nurses his magic, because it gives him a sense of satisfaction, a sense of self-worth, that he the frail, weak, ridiculed, detested brother has something to which he and he alone can claim superiority. To maintain this sense of self-satisfaction however, he must attain greater and greater levels of mastery in his art in order to feel at peace with himself. [/quote'] I might have read that. If not, I seriously have to. I'm not saying he should get some screen time, I'm saying he should have appeared already. Somehow =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted September 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 The only thing I recognize is Fistandantilus, and that's only because there's a character in RuneScape named after him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megami Seika Posted September 12, 2009 Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 The story is freeking awsome if you dont do more I will cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted September 12, 2009 Report Share Posted September 12, 2009 The chapter seemed a bit short, least' to me, but I liked it. Lets watch people choose to go into holes are nawt XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zexaeon Posted September 15, 2009 Report Share Posted September 15, 2009 Chapter 6 could have used a bit more descriptive writing, but for the most part, it was an improvement in terms of development, so good work. =3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted September 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Alright, time to bump. I've been a bit busy with other stuff, so I don't know when the new chapter will be out. I hope that it will be one of my longest chapters yet, since it will be an important one. I'll try to balance out details and development, and some characters will either reappear or make their debut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Make sure you do get everyone involved in this one. *winkwinknudgenudge* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted September 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Yes, Hana will most definitely be in the next chapter. Fenrir, you'll be happy to know that Quint will be finally make his debut as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted September 30, 2009 Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 Yes' date=' Hana will most definitely be in the next chapter. Fenrir, you'll be happy to know that Quint will be finally make his debut as well.[/quote'] And...? When will...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted September 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 Sorry, I'm unsure of whether or not your character will appear. I accepted him, yes, but I still don't know how he could fit in. Nevertheless, I'll try anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted September 30, 2009 Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 *cries**runs away*>_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted October 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 Chapter 7 is finally up. The chapter mostly serves to introduce a few characters, but enjoy it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 lol, chapter still seemed rather short compared to other ff lengths. Oh well.Good overall.Lance seems like a dick, lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 Putting Daniel with Sheena was dead-on perfect. (Can't believe I didn't see that one coming.) I wonder how those too will work it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.:Abarai Renji:. Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 I predict that these trials won't be easy. And I also believe that Lance & Derek will have alot of trouble of getting along, if things go on this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted October 17, 2009 Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 W00t, Quint and Yuusuke, awesome. You played him well. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted October 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2009 lol' date=' chapter still seemed rather short compared to other ff lengths. Oh well.Good overall.Lance seems like a dick, lol[/quote'] I'm not one to write very long stories. Not something I'm used to. I used your application to help me along with the chapter, and I got the idea that I shouldn't make him seem like that much of a nice guy, so I figured I'd make him the token jerkass. Putting Daniel with Sheena was dead-on perfect. (Can't believe I didn't see that one coming.) I wonder how those too will work it out. I did kind of want to expand on that scene' date=' but I couldn't think of anything. I at least wanted to introduce her in this chapter. I predict that these trials won't be easy. And I also believe that Lance & Derek will have alot of trouble of getting along, if things go on this way. Of course. W00t' date=' Quint and Yuusuke, awesome. You played him well. :3[/quote'] Thanks. I actually enjoyed his scenes quite a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 Well, wasn't expectin jerkass, more..non talkative, away from people, but this way seems like so much more fun XD And..ya want any help writing? I got nothing but time ^_\\\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted October 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 Sure, I'll have you beta-read future chapters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted October 18, 2009 Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 Uh...ok. Anything I can do to improve chapter time? (Amount of time it takes to get next chapter)Such as suggestions, writing, stuff like that? o.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted October 19, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 I'm not sure about how to reduce chapter time, unless you got ideas you could PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee Posted October 19, 2009 Report Share Posted October 19, 2009 idk, maybe you can just talk to me about ideas you have, and we can tweak them or w/e.if your havin a problem with a part, talk to me, lol o.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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