Digimon: Hopeless Paradise (Discontinued)

[Phantom Roxas]

:( I'm sorry, I've been procrastinating.

 

The chapter will definitely consist of:

 

- Yet another look at the Royal Knights. Attention on them should dwindle following the next chapter.

- Daniel going to the police station. I promise you that this scenario will be good.

- Alex realizing that he is a jerk after leaving Daniel to be arrested heading home.

- A time skip to the next day.

[.:Abarai Renji:.]

Why, oh WHY, haven't Derek appeared yet?!

 

Are you ignoring my char, Roxy?

[Phantom Roxas]

I suppose I've waited long enough. Derek will also make an appearance in the next chapter. I'll admit, I haven't been thinking about what to do with him, but I'll definitely make him show up.

[.:Abarai Renji:.]

Thx Roxie!

[fenrir]

Well, can't wait to read your next chapter.

[Phantom Roxas]

Chapter 4 is finally up after over a month of waiting. It's pretty short though.

[Megami Seika]

yaaaaays my charactor made her aperance

[Phantom Roxas]

Do you like how I portrayed her? I hope you're fine with me making Kuja's character your cousin.

 

I feel as though I made Yuusuke more rude than he should be. Eh, recently getting into Beelzebub justifies that in my mind.

[Megami Seika]

yea thats good i like it

[Umbra]

Nice Daniel/Marren exposition there, Roxas. If only they knew...

[Phantom Roxas]

Good, I was hoping you'd like that part.

[Phantom Roxas]

If possible, I would like a Weather Report.

[Skyfi]

Great Fic Roxas =]

[bury the year]

If possible' date=' I would like a Weather Report.

[/quote']

 

For the record, they're called MSTs. I'll do one later, but the chapter looks good at a glance.

[Kendo Fish]

NOTE: I ripped out some parts of this story, since it was so long and those parts didn’t really have huge gaping errors in them. Prepare...for the WEATHER REPORT. Or a Mystery Science Theater, whatever.

[spoiler=Chapter 1: Negotiations]

Alex Kadrou fell back in his bed' date=' tired out from finishing his exams.

 

"God COMMA that was annoying!" Alex exclaimed. Fictional characters have an annoying habit of talking to themselves. The last exam he had to finish was his Algebra II final. "A pain in the ass really, if I do say so myself."

 

He turned to his clock, pushing away some of the black hair that fell in front of his eyes.

"Only 1:04?" Time should be written out, like one o’ four, methinks.

 

He pulled out his iPhone and if you’re reading this in 2020 where there might not be an iPhone you’re screwed, browsing the internet to see what movies were playing in the local theater.

 

"Nothing," he lamented. The only movie that he wanted to see was the new Transformers movie, which wouldn't be in theaters for another week.

 

"God I wish something good happens." Unless rushy was your intention, this sentence needz moar comma.

 

It would be wrong to say that nothing good would happen for another week.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2: Predicament]

The Tower of Babel was a dream to many Digimon. It was named after the biblical tower in the Book of Genesis. Many Digimon knew this for an obvious reason: It should be lowercased was in their programming.

 

The Tower was extremely far from completion comma however. The Tower was just over 9 nine kilometers in height. At the rate the construction of the Tower was progressing, it was believed that the Tower would take an entire century at the latest most or longest to which the Digital World's atmosphere would explode? Uh, alright. Upon completion the atmosphere will explode. Got it. While one could assume a Digimon could simply fly to the atmosphere, there have never been successful attempts to do so. And we don’t get any more description than that. That’s like just telling someone that before 1900 airplanes couldn’t fly, simple as that. TELL US WHYYYYY! Digimon would argue that if they could not reach the atmosphere, then the construction would be all for naught.

 

Gallantmon, the Duke of Courage, and Barbamon, the Demon Lord of Greed, now fought at the highest point of the Tower, which of course did not have a roof. If it doesn’t have a temporary building roof or some scaffolding, then they’re floating, I guess? And somehow they can float but can’t reach the atmosphere. Oh. They would apparently explode if they did so. Got it.

 

"Lightning Joust!" Gallantmon cried, shooting a streak of lightning at his opponent from his never-before-mentioned lance. In the first chapter you just ASSUMED that EVERYONE knows Gallantmon and Barbamon. I mean, before I looked him up on Google I would never have known that Leopardmon was a guy dressed up like a leopard! Describe, dangit! The Demon Lord batted the attack away with the staff he held in his right hand.

 

"Gallantmon, you say killing me will mean nothing," Barbamon taunted. "However, my death would mean that the Royal Knights outnumber the Demon Lords by seven, meaning you would have nearly twice as many members as the Demon Lords have now."

 

"But you can be easily replaced, can't you?" Gallantmon suggested.

 

Barbamon gasped. "What an awful thing to say. I am the leading strategist of the Demon Lords! My cunning is irreplaceable!"

 

"I could kill you can give away Leopardmon if you'd like. Just read this sentence. Does it really make sense? I could kill you can give him away? WUT!? Sounds fair to me."

 

Barbamon shook his head and chuckled. "Not so royal after all," Barbamon claimed as he raised his staff, which suddenly began to gather flames of red and black near the orb encrusted at the top.

 

"Lucemon can be a hardass when he's pissed, but he'll get over it."GASP! Digimon were PROGRAMMED to curse! You know you have a good guy when he calls someone a donkey. By the way, I never understood that curse. It’s just being called a donkey. Anyways, that doesn’t really concern this story. Proceed.

 

More flames gathered in the sky at Barbamon's request. Do you mean “at his will”? If he requested he would have chanted or commanded something, methinks.

 

"I'm not going to wait around any longer for this.” By the way, this is a common mistake that’s been made a few times in your first chapter. Remember, that period should be a comma... Gallantmon muttered to himself as he held his shield before him, the insignia shaped like a monkey! on it glowing. "Final Elysion!"

 

A beam of yellow light shot out of the shield and towards Barbamon. Sounds like a bland, uneventful attack. It deserved its own paragraph? Whoops.

 

"Hmm, it's not enough," Barbamon snarled. "But He'll Who’s He? Is he talking about Godmon or something? be less angry at me for losing less energy. Pandemonium Lost!"

 

"What?" Gallantmon could not believe his ears. The black flames now encircled the Royal Knight, and the floor There’s a floor now? You just said there’s no roof, so is the floor just floating? And if so, how do the flames leap down onto the rest of the tower? immediately one space too many rose astronomically in temperature. Instinctively, Gallantmon jumped into the air, watching as the floor burnt until it was nothing. The flames continued to descend down the Tower.

 

"All those years of work, wasted," the Royal Knight lamented. With no expression, mind you.

 

"Dark Inferno." Barbamon muttered. Gallantmon was immediately ensnared in a crimson blaze. The Royal Knight fell headfirst downwards, falling to the incinerating Tower. The flames had weakened both Gallantmon's armor as well as the material of the Tower, sending the Duke of Courage Royal Knight, Duke of courage...two titles sounds like too many. No pun intended. plowing through countless levels until his fall finally stopped. He felt no pain and didn’t catch on fire and didn’t see any blurs of any sort, mind you.

 

"Om..."OMNOMNOMNOM Him saying “Om” reminds me of that. Gallantmon regained consciousness When did he lose it? for but a few moments to think of his only friend before his life had ended, shattering into shards of data. Much to the surprise of Barbamon, who was still watching the collapse of the Tower, a stream of white light shot down onto where he believed Gallantmon was. A red and white egg with Gallantmon's symbol on it rose from the flames.

 

"Lightning Javelin!" Barbamon screamed, throwing his staff at the egg. Unfortunately, the egg seemed to fly off somewhere. Barbamon chose not to follow. Nobody is around, nobody is surprised, nobody besides Barbamon and Gallantmon (for only a cursing moment, mind you) show emotion.

---

 

Alex decided to take a walk. Even if there were no good movies in theaters, he still had to have fun for the rest of the day. He owns an iPhone, but his only means of entertainment are watching movies. Um, what about video games, the computer, music, anything else kids do in the new millennium these days? Otherwise, he would feel empty inside for spending his first moments of summer lying in bed doing nothing.

 

He passed the local bookstore, but paid it not should be no mind. Then he heard a familiar voice.

 

"Hey, Alex."

 

Alex turned around to see who was talking to him. It was Yuusuke Echizen, a classmate of his. It’s the guy with a Japanese name of which nobody comments on! Unless there’s a Japantown nearby, people normally don’t walk around with names like that in the United States, where I ASSUME this is. Even a Mexican immigrant kid I once knew walked around with the name David and mmost of the Chinese people at my old school were Wendy and Ethan. Sure, there was a Hanyu, but there were so many Chinese people we didn’t really care much. Well, he was his classmate during the school year. Yuusuke was a few months younger than Alex, but Alex never really attempted or even CARED to learn exactly how many months. All he knew was that he was 17 and that Yuusuke was 16.

 

"Looking forward to being a senior next year?" Yuusuke asked.

 

Those words were taboo around Alex. "Do not talk about school. Seriously, man, we just got out today."

 

"I was just asking." Yuusuke frowned. I want to know what he looks like, so I frown too. : C [

 

Alex noticed Yuusuke had a book in his hand. Unnecessary new paragraph, brave new world. "Eh? They live in Canada! Eh! What book is that?" Alex asked. Its appearance is a mystery.

 

"And you had just said not to talk about school. This is The Last Olympian. It's part of a series I read, and it's quite enjoyable." How is that related to school? It’s not a textbook, is it? And it doesn’t sound like he did a report on it.

 

"That the first book?" Alex asked. Although he hated school, he enjoyed reading when it was an option.

 

"Fifth." Yuusuke corrected.

 

"Not interested."

 

"But it's a good series! It's about-" Yuusuke realized Alex wasn't paying attention, but was trying to get away from Yuusuke. He tried to chase after Alex.

 

"Hey, is something wrong?" Yuusuke asked, clutching his book.

 

"I'm just bored. Seriously, I need something to excite me."

 

"I thought the English Final was rather enjoyable."

 

"I do not want to compare and contrast themes in Twilight and Dracula ever again. Those two books just do not go together, even if both are about vampires. By the way, I didn't see the Nazi today."

 

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call Quintinius a Nazi?" EXOTIC NAMES DO NOT GOOD STORY MAKE!!! Nor does taking names from another series such as The Edge!

 

"How do you know I was talking about Quintinius? It sounds like you're calling him a Nazi. I could have been talking about someone else."

 

"Quintinius is the only guy you call you a Nazi."

 

"Maybe I was talking about that Derek guy. He does have blonde hair and blue eyes, after all."

 

Yuusuke stared at Alex.

 

"Okay, I was talking about Quintinius." Alex confessed.

 

"Why do you always call him a Nazi? I know he's German, but still."

 

"I may be an atheist - partially so that I can piss off my parents - but I still care for the welfare of the Jewish population."

 

"He's part of the Jewish Club, and he's made them get along pretty well with the German Club."

 

"It's a front. You see, by allying himself with the Jewish Club, he's trying to draw them into a false sense of security. Then, once the German Club has raised enough money for their "trip to Germany", that's when the German Club will strike.

 

"I blame your Catholic parents for your paranoia."

 

Alex remained silent for a while.

 

"I just realized I said "God" twice a while ago. I do believe that's a new record." Alex randomly spouted, prompting Yuusuke to give himself a facepalm.

...WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS CONVERSATION!?!? I know it’s probably to introduce another character or three, but it’s just so long and seems so pointless in my personal opinion...

---

 

The streams of data seemed to flow endlessly in the Castle of the Royal Knights. Right now, there were only six present: Crusadermon, Dynasmon, Examon, UlforceVeedramon, Magnamon, and Omnimon, all seated at a Round Table with seven empty seats. And if you don’t know who they are, you suck. So much that you don’t get a short description.

 

"Gallantmon should be back my BY. Back my now? Now, you know that doesn’t make sense now." Magnamon who looks like an old home gaming console...the Magnavox! commented, breaking the silence. His statement seemed to be directed at Omnimon who looks like the Intellivision! more than the others. He knew the Omnimon and Gallantmon were like brothers, and he also knew Omnimon would be the most upset if something had happened to Gallantmon.

 

"I knew we should have sent you, Omnimon," Crusadermon who looks like a Model-T! admitted. Very few of the Royal Knights could stand him, especially since he was more sarcastic than even Leopardmon who looks like the Atari Lynx!. "But Gallantmon insisted on going, even though you and Leopardmon were remarkably tied for the best choice. Well, it's no surprise that you were nominated, but Leopardmon? Oh, to even consider him!" Crusadermon held a rose stored in his driver seat close to his odd-looking groucho glasses nose delicately and chuckled lightly.

 

"We never did receive word on who the other attendees would be." UlforceVeedramon who looks like Captain Nemo! pointed out observantly, leaning forward and interlocking his fingers, holding his hands close to his mouth.

 

"It is hard for the Sovereigns to decide on their representatives." Magnamon added in. "There are only four of them, and their "pets"I think those should be apostrophes the Devas are even worse at coming to an AGREEMENT."

 

"Ah, of course. Apologies for my ignorance. That still does not excuse why the Olympus Warriors did not send someone. I realize it is not within my jurisdiction to choose who, but out of the survivors, I would have preferred Apollomon or Merukimon. They seem like good candidates for the leader, what with Jupitermon and the others gone. QUOTATION MARK

 

"And it is because they have lost half their numbers that the Olympus Warriors could not send someone." Omnimon confirmed. "They chose to prioritize their own numbers above the fate of the Digital World. A selfish choice."

 

"You speak blasphemy!" Dynasmon snapped. "I expected more from you, Crusadermon."

 

"You wish for me to hold my tongue?" Crusadermon asked. "Alright, for you Dyny."Isn’t that like calling William Willy to taunt him? It just isn’t right. He held his rose at Dynasmon as a taunt.

 

"Heh, so when are you two going to tie the knot?" Magnamon teased. "It's been so long since you two started swinging di-"

 

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Crusadermon warned. His rose exploded into many petals, only to be batted away from Magnamon. "Well COMMA you're no fun." Ladies and gentlemen, the royal knights and protectors of the Digital World!

 

The attention of all Royal Knights was caught by an egg appearing in a flash of light, landing gently in Gallantmon's seat. None of them dared to speak, especially in front of Omnimon.

 

The Royal Knights exchanged frequent looks at the egg, each other, and Omnimon for what seemed like a long time. The awkward silence was broken when Omnimon uttered one single order.

 

"I'm going to Yggdrasil. Tell Imperialdramon to call off the hunt. We have far more pressing matters than a World War. QUOTATION MARK

 

---

 

"So why am I following you again?" Yuusuke asked. SHOW NOT TELL! Are they on Random Sidewalk #2 or what?

 

"Daniel Mellow sent me a text saying he managed to "acquire" a recording of Revenge of the Fallen."

 

"That's not supposed to come out for another week." Yuusuke pointed out. "You also said "acquire" rather loosely. Did he get the recording illegally?"

 

"Does it matter?" Alex smiled.

 

"Does it ma-lowercase of course it matters!" Ordinarily, Yuusuke would keep calm in situations like this, but Alex was particularly infuriating for some reason. "I have to thank you though."

 

"Why's that?"

 

"You helped me understand why I never hang out with you." Despite the insulting nature of the comment, Yuusuke had a rather keen smile on his face. Then he got distracted. Alex looked at Yuusuke's face, then at the direction Yuusuke was facing.

 

Standing at the bus stop was a girl with long brown hair, which was strangely covered in a number of clips of pins. What’s a clip of a pin. Alex couldn't tell if Yuusuke was drawn in by the girl's strange fetish for accessories, her green eyes, her tanned, boney figure, or the fact that she wore a plaid shirt that someone would find at the Men's Department at Macy's. Not that Alex would know about that last part, of course. She’s the only character that is thoroughly described. THE ONLY ONE.

 

The girl kept looking at her watch, then out at the street, convincing both boys that she was waiting for the bus. It was THE natural thing to assume when you're at a bus stop.

 

Yuusuke made his way over to the girl, while Alex pulled out his iPhone. Why he wasn’t interested in it before is pretty much beyond me. Especially since you never stated “his eyes hurt and he didn’t want to stare at that light” or “he just didn’t feel like it” or “he needed to get out more”. By the way, did that really deserve its own paragraph?

 

"So what's your name?" Yuusuke asked the girl. The girl jumped in shock, not noticing the boy before, but her surprise immediately turned to anger.

 

"Why the hell did you sneak up on me?" she demanded angrily. It took Alex a moment to notice, but she had a faint French accent.

Press Enter here!

Yuusuke held his hands up to defend himself "I was just-"

Press Enter here!

"The bus doesn't come for another hour." Alex told the girl.

 

The girl turned to Alex. Unnecessary Enter press!"Oh, thanks. Guess I'll just walk COMMA then."

Yah

Purposely intending to annoy Yuusuke, and also to show off to the girl, just as Yuusuke opened his mouth, Alex immediately said, "It's less boring if someone walks with you."

YAH

"That's nice of you, but I can make it by myself.” YAHH The girl took off, but Alex didn't mind.

YAHHHHHHH

"I think that went rather well, didn't it?" Alex asked with a smile, patting Yuusuke on the back.

 

Dejected, Yuusuke stared at his feet and turned around to leave, deciding saying he’d makes this sentence flow better to me had enough of Alex Kadrou for one lifetime. Yuusuke gets frequently and very easily annoyed by stuff. I dislike him. And, once again, WHAT DID THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MAIN STORY!?!? I know it’s for character development, but SO MUCH DIALOGUE!!

 

[spoiler=Chapter 3: Suspicion]

Crimson flames lit a darkened room, filled with seven enormous thrones. At the top of each throne was a different crest, each of different colors, that signified a different planet, the sun, and the moon. This sentence requires separation beyond commas. Seated in the highest throne was a small boy with ten angels wings, with two more sprouting from his blonde hair, WHICH was parted so that strands of his hair were in the shapes of horns. The boy WORE what seemed like a toga and golden bracelets on his wrests and ankles. A purple tattoo was etched onto his upper-right body. Which you say as if it’s being etched right at that moment. WHY DO YOU DESCRIBE THIS KID AND THAT GIRL, BUT ONLY DESCRIBE ALEX’S HAIR AND BARBAMON’S STAFF AND WHAT-NOT!?!?

 

The young child was Lucemon, the leader of Seven Great Demon Lords of the Digital World, and the embodiment of pride. Even more noteworthy was that he was only a Rookie-level Digimon. The other Demon Lords were absent, but he was expecting Barbamon's return.

 

The Demon Lord of Greed appeared in his throne in a burst of flame. His seat was marked by a purple crest that showed him to BE aligned with Saturn. Whatever planet Lucemon was aligned with.

 

"You used that attack, Barbamon." Lucemon muttered coldly. "Why?" I hate it when people say “Oh, you couldn’t have done...THAT!?!?” or “Your parents were killed by...HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED-FOR-NO-GOOD-REASON!?!?” It’s just a really weird way to speak, like singing about “Stuck on Band-Aid Brand” because nobody really calls it Band-Aid Brand.

 

"It was the best way to ensure Gallantmon's death." Barbamon smiled.

 

"You knew that attack siphons power from our home, Barbamon. I watched your entire battle, and I know you didn't need to use that attack." I know the reader has already read the attack name, but I actually forgot the attack name. So now I have to go all the way back just to learn the freakin’ attack name? D‘:

 

"Oh well, at least I killed him."

 

A cut appeared right between Barbamon's midsection. It took Barbamon By the way, you write like “ “Hi,” Bob said. Bob did a jig. Then Bob fell on his face. People laughed at Bob”. See how many Bobs there were? What about “him”? a moment to comprehend what had just happened before he realize that Lucemon had delivered the attack with just HIS right hand. Was his hand placed on his midsection? Did he hold it out to mystically magically create a papercut? The small Demon Leader licked the blood that was left on his hand, sucking on his fingers to ensure he had not missed a single drop. Digital blood?

 

"Your data tastes marvelous." Lucemon smiled sadistically. Erm? I’m just confused as to how Mr. Fenrir (people named Mr. Fenrir, Chernobog or Frankenstein should NEVER be trusted! NEVAH) would be so sadistic as to program digital blood so that it has a taste. Possible, but odd to me."So, are you going to use that attack again when you have a clear victory?"

 

"N-lowercase no, sire." Barbamon answered reluctantly.

 

Lucemon smiled before floating backwards towards his throne.

 

"I'm happy to hear that. How is the Chimera Project progressing?"

 

"Leviamon and Belphemon's troops should be gathering the remaining test subjects as we speak."

 

"'Should be'?" Lucemon repeated with a glare.

 

"My apologies, I mean they are progressing at A more ideal rate than we had anticipated."

 

"Hmph, see to it that they are. The Chimera Project itself is even but a small step towards finding what we seek."

 

Barbamon bowed to his master respectfully. Even though he was a Demon Lord, Lucemon's attack had cut too deep. It would take a while to heal.

 

When Barbamon had left, TWO more figures had entered the room. Through the wall. Or was it through a huge red door? We dunno. One of them was female, dressed in a demonic outfit of black and violet. The other was male, dressed in a biker suit, wearing a purple helmet revealing three red eyes, and had a tail. And when there comes a day when motorcycles will be known as something other than bikes, this becomes dated...also, is it me or is “demonic outfit” just too bland? If your definition of demonic happens to be a dress with rag dolls pinned on, you just suck, apparently. Doesn’t it have withered wings on it, and doesn’t she have a weird golden head thingy?

 

"Lilithmon, Beelzemon." Lucemon welcomed, addressing the Demon Lords of Lust and Gluttony respectively. "Yes, I had FORGOTTEN that I had not given either of you my orders. My sincerest apologies. Consider it your reward for consistently proving yourselves to be competent time and again."

 

Lucemon went silent for a second to think upon the rest of the Demon Lords. Unecessary new paragraph! Brave new world?

 

"Where is Daemon?" he finally demanded. Lilithmon and Beelzemon were well aware that Lucemon had grown suspicious of Daemon rather recently, but their loyalty unquestionably belonged to Lucemon.

 

"He is still on his own little search, I'm afraid." Lilithmon finally answered.

 

"He still believes that Arkadimon exists? I admire his tenacity, but I laugh at his beliefs."

 

"Lord Lucemon." Beelzemon began. "A thousand pardons if I am talking out of turn, but do you not see it fit to endeavor to evolve?"

 

"What are you suggesting, Beelzemon?" Lucemon asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

"Indeed, your powers are unique for even a Rookie Digimon, and I would dare not think otherwise, but do you not think that you could keep Daemon in his place if you were at least a Champion?"

 

Lilithmon seemed to take in the idea of an older, potentially more handsome Lucemon with much delight. Lucemon himself could tell that much just from the grin the Demon Lord of Lust had on her face.

 

"For your sake, Lilithmon, I shall."

 

Lilithmon brushed her fingers through her black hair. Should be combined with the following paragraph. I mean, is hair-stroking really that awesome? "Do not feel obligated to do such because of me, my king. But, Beelzemon raises a good point about Daemon. Lucemon, shall we exterminate him?"

 

"That is not necessary for now." Lucemon answered. "Despite your fears, I see him as no threat for now. If either of you can provide proof for his extermination, then I shall consider it."

 

Lilithmon and Beelzemon exchanged a glare, understanding that Lucemon expected them to do just as he had suggested. Without a word, they turned away and left. Through the ceiling.

 

---

 

Alex made his way up to a large villa. It was not as big as a mansion, but it was still pretty big. Alex looked at the address that was inscribed in the text message Text messages are tablets? Daniel Mellow That’s his whole first name? had sent him, and it was the same address as the building that stood before him. The grass was quite green, and the building had to at least be three stories high, judging from the size. It was shaped like a hen and colored a bright green. Those eccentrics.

 

He had never been to Daniel's house before, since he had only recently become rather friendly with the boy. I think you’re trying too hard to sound smart. Stuffing a “rather” in this sentence is unnecessary, methinks. Daniel was shy, but Alex somehow managed to help him with that. They were in the same technology for the school year, and Daniel was able to provide help whenever he could. He hadn't seen that many people hang around Daniel, but Alex still thought Daniel was a nice enough guy. Yuusuke's earlier comment had raised a burning question though: How did Daniel get a copy of Revenge of the Fallen?

 

Regardless, Alex rang the doorbell to alert Daniel.

 

No response.

 

He rang the doorbell again.

 

Still no response.

 

He didn't want to ring the doorbell again, but he also didn't want to leave. It was the newest Transformers movie and finally you tell the citizens of 2020 this, expecting them to have full and thorough knowledge of 2009 for crying out loud. Why would he want to leave? He seems to like Transformers way too much.

 

He was about to resort to sitting on the porch when the door finally began to open. Unnecessary Enter press!

 

"Alex?" was all that came from the inside. Alex turned to see that Daniel was at the door, but a chain kept the door hooked to the wall. Daniel pulled down the chain an opened the door completely, granting Daniel entrance.

 

"Did I keep you waiting?" Daniel asked timidly. He looks like the Joker. From the Batman series of stuff, you know. What a creepy kid.

 

"Nah," Alex reassured him. "I only rang the doorbell twice."

 

"I don't think I had the first ring. Sorry about that."

 

"So, where are your folks?"

 

"My dad's at a business meeting and my mom's hanging out with her friends."

 

Alex stopped to take a look around. The house looked magnificent. A single chandelier hung from the ceiling, but Alex could tell the building had only two floors. The walls were painted light brown, and the carpet was smooth. Paintings were hung all around, and Alex could see an entrance to the pool, which had a diving board. The magnificence of the structure he was in now made his house look like a run-down shack by comparison. AHAHA. EVERY rich person has a chandelier and several fancy paintings hanging around. Do people seriously live like this?

 

"The theater room's this way." Daniel told Alex, pointing directly forward. A theater room?"I'll get some snacks. Do you think you can set up the film?"

 

Alex felt like the world had completely changed. Setting up a not-yet-released film CHANGES HIS WORLD? He’s such an over-the-top character. "You want me to set up the film? That would be an honor."

 

"I don't think it matters that much. It's just movie."

 

"You don't think it-of course it matters that much!" Alex grew silent for a moment, realizing that he had just spoken to Daniel just like how Yuusuke spoke to him a while ago. On the wooden table he was able to find a DVD that said "RotF" on it. It took him a few seconds, but he was able to figure out that it stood for "Revenge of the Fallen." It used to be in italics, but now it’s in quotations. PIRATED COPY!!!!!

 

"By the way, how did you get the film?" Alex asked.

 

"Oh, my father was able to get a copy of it. I didn't feel comfortable with it, since I would get to see it before everyone else."

 

"That's not a bad thing. In fact, I'm glad you asked me to watch it with you."

 

Daniel gave Alex a drink before he went to sit in his own chair. He placed two bags of popcorn on top of the glass frame in the table. The room itself was a white void, though.

 

"I don't have many friends, and I'm not so comfortable talking to girls."

 

Alex successfully managed to resist rolling his eyes - much to his own surprise - but he still didn't want to here Daniel's sob story. He tried to avoid making things progress like a cheesy family-friendly film, but he felt obligated to return the favor for Daniel.

 

"Don't worry, just be confident in yourself." Alex advised. He hated himself for being so corny, but he reminded himself it could have been worse.

 

A sudden knock came on the front door. Yeah, it’s THAT CLOSE TO THE THEATER ROOM. Unnecessary Enter press!

 

"That's odd, I didn't invite anyone else." Daniel said. "And my parents have the keys to the door."

 

The knock came again, this time accompanied by a man's voice. Unnecessary Enter press!

 

"This is the police, open up!"

 

"The police?" Daniel asked in a panic. He turned his eyes to the DVD that was never removed from its case. "Alex, they're here for the movie!" he says, LOUDLY ENOUGH SO THAT THE POLICE CAN HEAR IT.

 

"But why?" Alex wondered, afraid of having a criminal record. "You said you're father gave it to you." You said you are father gave it to you? WHA!? Use your, not you’re. Goodness, why is that such a common mistake? *stabs self*

 

"We know you're in there!" the policeman called once again.

 

"Do we really, Joe?" came a female voice. "Do we really know they're in there?" Yeah, we do, no duh. Since DANIEL DIDN’T ASK HIMSELF, he asked the police outside. So yeah, Idiot Lady, they ARE in there.

 

"Hm, you make a convincing argument, Alice, despite your being a woman." Cops really disrespect females like this? Even if it’s a joke, aren’t cops not supposed to talk like that?

 

"The chief's going to hear about that."

 

"Aw, but he'll take my pink frosted sprinkle donuts away for a whole week." Cop humor? These cops are so bad that they crack jokes at the scene of the crime, as they’re about to enter a villa.

 

"Well then, that would serve you right, now wouldn't it?"

 

"Maybe he didn't get it legally!" Daniel thought out loud in fear. "Oh, I help that's not true. I help that’s not true? You KNOW help should be hope. Unless the Joker’s always been talking like this. Which he hasn’t. Alex COMMA you have to get out of here! You didn't do anything, so run away! Don’t try to convince the police of anything, don’t hide, just run any old place!"

 

"Alright." Alex said. He didn't want Daniel to get in trouble, but if Daniel insisted on Alex leaving, then he wouldn't argue. Fortunately, there was a back SPACE door that led outside. Alex opened it, hopped OVER or THROUGH the bushes, and ran across the lawn to safety. Even then he could still hear the disputes of the two police officers.

 

"I'll have you know that Dr. Doom would certainly defeat Batman in a fistfight." Joe argued for some seemingly random reason. I assume Joe is the lady. Josephine can be shortened, ya know. And you never mentioned these names before...

 

Alex was worried that the police in the town were simply too incompetent. With a guilty sigh, he left for home.

...WHAT DID THAT HAVE TO DO WITH DIGIMON!?!?

---

 

Omnimon stood within a white room made entirely of course Course? I didn’t know course was a material. Describe it, if it is. If not, type it correctly...zorz.. In the center of the room stood a blue orb placed atop a small white pedestal.

 

"You have arrived, Omnimon." Yggdrasil welcomed. You automatically assume that all Digimon fans know that Yggdrasil is an orb. I CERTAINLY DIDN’T KNOW. And you just said it out of the blue, as if it were the main character, like Pikachu from Pokemon or Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh!

 

"Milord, I trust that you saw the events that transpired at the Tower of Babel and the meeting I have just come from?"

 

"Indeed. Every Digimon talks like a British dandy! What is up with that? To sound respectable you don’t need a fancy accent...ORDOYOU!?!? What is it you wish to talk about?"

 

"The Demon Lords may be planning a revolt. Sir, I beg you to allow me to lead a resistance movement. At least let me keep them at bay!"

 

"No."

 

"I am saddened COMMA, or leave out though." Yggdrasil admitted.

 

"What is that? QUOTATION MARK Omnimon asked.

 

"Despite being programmed to be an omnipotent being meant to stabilize the Digital World, I cannot read the minds of others. ONE fault in my programming that I still lament."

 

Omnimon refused to speak further, knowing that Yggdrasil could easily delete him.

 

"Sir," Omnimon began without turning back to face his God. "Before I leave, at least grant me permission to seek aid from the outside in regards to the elimination of the X Digimon."

 

"Seek aid from the outside? I suppose you could, but how would you do that?"

 

The question was enough to make Omnimon turn around once more.

 

"I believe that you can do that, can you not?"

 

"Perhaps. I have not attempted to do so ever since the Failed Apocalypse, but I do think that my powers have grown to such a level in the years since then."

 

"So, you will allow it?"

 

Yggdrasil grew silent to ponder Omnimon's question. Wait, who was speaking back there and when? I’m getting confuzzled.

 

"You wish for Imperialdramon to call OFF the hunt, and yet seek my permission to call for help from the outside. Why?"

 

Omnimon could not answer, and he knew Yggdrasil understood just why Omnimon had made such a request.

 

"Alright, if you insist. If you wish to avenge Gallantmon, I will let you do so, but alone. Outside help would also quicken the elimination of the X Digimon."

This chapter is getting way too long for me to handle.

---

 

Yuusuke had decided to put down The Last Olympian for now. Instead he decided that he would go online and discuss it. Now THAT’S what a real kid does nowadays. Use the internet. He placed the book on his desk right beside the monitor.

 

Searching through his bookmarks, he found his favorite forum, Summa Crossroads. It literally meant "meeting place of the greatest", so of course he would join. So the two words Summa and Crossroads, collectively, in the Gibberish language, mean “meeting place of the greatest”. Not Chinese or Japanese, and not just Summa. Both of the words collectively.

 

Finding his way to the Literature Forum, he began his topic. Too many paragraphs doesn’t add suspense, it adds frustration! : D

 

"So I finished the first few chapters," Yuusuke said out loud as he tapped the keys on his keyboard. "and this is a good book so far. Discuss the book and the series as a whole."

 

He could not resist continuing the enthralling book and reached for his book to begin reading once more.

 

After a while, he had decided to reload the page on his computer, curious to see the replies. The board was filled with posts such as "OMG, this is an awesome series!" and other statements of below-average grammar.

 

Noticing he had an unread private message, he moved his mouse, clicking on his inbox. The private message was from a member named "Commander Ikari". He had seen that member quite a number of times around the forum, but this was the first time he had received a message from her. At least, he was sure Commander Ikari was a girl. Why this last sentence was necessary is beyond me.

 

Hi, LZ! were the words that appeared on his screen. "LZ" was short for Yuusuke's username, "Legend Zero". Look, I asked some of the Mods to see if anyone had an IP Address close to mine, and they said you were the closest person.

 

Yuusuke was surprised and yet freaked out. That’s not freaky, that just means they live close to each other. I think I would reply “O_O We live close to each other and/or use the same Wi-Fi network!?” It wouldn’t necessarily be freaky, unless maybe the IP addresses were exactly the same. THAT would be a bit weird.

 

I know, freaky right? Anyway, if you got some free time, meet me at the GameStop at the mall tomorrow. You seem like someone who can help me with a little "problem" I got.

 

Legend Zero debated with himself, wondering how to act upon the message. He didn't mind going to GameStop, but this was pretty strange. He replied asking when he should be there. He waited several minutes, reloading his page a couple times, and eventually got a reply.

 

Um, does around 2:30 sound good enough?

 

Yuusuke shrugged. UEP, unnecessary Enter press. *sigh*

 

"Sounds good enough. How should I find you?" was the message he sent back.

 

Again he waited before he received his reply, but he noticed it didn't take quite so long this time.

 

Don't worry, I should be able to find you.

 

The words struck fear and curiosity in Yuusuke, but those feelings were diminished when he had heard words that sent terror into his soul. Dude, she said meet at the GameStop. Of course she’d find you? She just has to find GameStop, don’t be so stupid about it! Many boys his age would dismiss the words with a groan, but Yuusuke was different. He would always shiver, no matter where he was. His mother's terrifying voice echoed through the house, reaching all the way to Yuusuke's room.

 

"Yuusuke, take out the garbage!"

 

Terrifying indeed.

Why is it that stereotypical kids always dread taking out the trash? I mean, it’s not like they throw their own crap in there, and it only takes less than five minutes. Not to mention I never had to do it. I. Don’t. Get it.

---

 

A mechanical bug-like Digimon was flying through a forest, trying to make its escape from the yellow cloth that was chasing after it. ITS ATTEMPT WAS in vain, however, as it was struck down when the cloth had managed to impale it. Cloth is sharp? The Digimon shattered into bits of data, which was promptly absorbed by none other than Crusadermon himself.

 

"Hmm, so this is what an X Digimon's data feels like when IT’S absorbed." Crusadermon plucked a flower from a nearby bush and sniffed it. "I've slain a couple Kokuwamon's before, but never an X variant." Wait. That was an X Digimon, yet you hardly take a sentence to describe it. I don’t think Cannonbeemon is the only insectoid X ‘Mon out there.

 

"Crusadermon!" Dynasmon snapped sternly. "We are supposed to be looking for Imperialdramon in order to call off this hunt. Omnimon ordered us."

 

"Oh, Omnimon this, Omnimon that." Crusadermon complained. "I'm tired of listening to that egomaniac." Ladies and gentlemen, the Royal Knights and protectors of the Digital World.

 

"I for one believe Omnimon is quite a reliable member. He knows responsibility, unlike you."

 

"Oh, Dyny, you wound me." Crusadermon teased. "Why don't you go off and marry him, SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY love him more than little ol' me." Okay, he’s starting to sound more and more like an irritating gay stereotype. I mean, HE MAY BE PINK, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE’S HOMOSEXUAL. Oh. Wait. It looks feminine. SO IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE GAY OR AN IRRITATING LOVELY GIRL!?!? I seriously don’t know. I don’t know a thing about how Crusadermon sounds in the anime. Yet you automatically assume I’ll get whatever joke is hidden. *sigh*

 

"Stop using that irritating nickname." Dynasmon growled. "I'm amazed Yggdrasil even selected you to become a Royal Knight."

 

"My powers cannot be argued with."

 

Two red streams of energy came bursting towards the bickering Royal Knights. Crusadermon and Dynasmon turned to see the attack came from a red, mechanical dragon-like Digimon with two cannons strapped to its back.

 

"A Chaosdramon X." Dynasmon stated. Doesn’t Chaosdramon look more like a mechanical behemoth? Doesn’t he have long claws? Isn’t he large? "Even the regular ones can be a pain."

 

"I'm sure it won't stand a chance against the two of us though." Crusadermon remarked.

 

Dynasmon laughed. "I'm leaving this one to you. If you like to deal with X Digimon, then have fun against this guy." Dynasmon flew off above the trees, off to catch up on the other Royal Knights.

 

"Still," Dynasmon said to himself. "When Crusadermon killed that Digimon, it didn't turn into an egg. Instead it turned right into data. Usually you would have to destroy the egg before that happens, and I know Crusadermon cannot bypass that."

 

---

 

Examon, UlforceVeedramon, and Magnamon had found Imperialdramon. The search did not take much long, as he was overseeing the mountains and the forests around him from the surface of a cliff. However Imperialdramon looks. By the way, the knights are on his head. It’s not really specified, so I just assume.

 

"Omnimon has news?" Imperialdramon asked, knowing that they would not be standing before him unless Omnimon wanted them there.

 

"Imperialdramon," Examon began. "Call off the hunt of the X Digimon."

 

"Why?"

 

THEN Examon and his comrades exchanged a look, but UlforceVeedramon ultimately decided to answer for all of them.

 

"Gallantmon was slain, by Barbamon."

 

"I see." Imperialdramon said with hesitation. "Very well, I will-"

 

"Continue with the hunt."

 

The four Royal Knights turned to see Omnimon had arrived. You don’t stop to explain that he hatched from the egg, or whatever. You just explain is as if necromancy were common in the world of 2009.

 

"But Omnimon." Magnamon said. "You asked us specifically to come here so that we may end the hunt!"

 

"Yes, but Yggdrasil has decided that the hunt will continue."

 

Magnamon nodded. "I understand." He dashed off, Examon and UlforceVeedramon leaving as well.

 

"Imperialdramon." Omnimon began, turning to his equal. "Where are Leopardmon and Craniummon PUNCTUATION I must speak with them."

 

"I will not ask why you wish to speak with them, but they are currently scouring INSERT REAL WORD HERE for X Digimon."

 

"Excellent, then I shall join them."

 

---

 

Hana had finished her boring walk home. Walking in house, she gave a tired "hello" to her parents, making her way upstairs and into her room. The black-haired boy at the bus stop was right, it would have been more interesting if she had someone to walk with her. Of course, her dad wouldn't be too thrilled to see her walking home with some suspicious boy dressed in all black. NOW YOU TELL US!!! I thought he was naked for a moment there.

 

Her hair was feeling hot with all the pins she had stuck to her hair, so she removed them one a time, placing them all on her nightstand that was placed next to her bed. It was shaped like a mushroom from the Mario series. Her bed looked like Luigi. Ew, she sleeps on Luigi?

 

"Hana, dinner's ready!" her father called. She was excited to hear that it was time for pizza. It was not delivery, it was Digiorno. HA! A joke that’ll become dated in just a few years! Hilarious!

 

"I'll be down there in a minute!" she answered. She had changed into her night clothes, which simply consisted of a yellow T-shirt and green pants, since she knew she wouldn't be going anywhere else for the night. It was really only at night when she wore "feminine" clothes.

 

She ran downstairs, much to the anger of her mother, snagged three slices of garlic cheese pizza, and grabbed a Mountain Dew from the refrigerator. And if the company that makes Mountain Dew by chance goes out of business, too bad. Look it up.

 

"Ah, now would you like at that, mes dears." Hana's father had called out. Immigrants speak a combination of English and First Language? The immigrant I knew spoke only Spanish at home, not an awkward combination. And...her dad looks like the Monarch from the Venture Brothers. What a weird guy. Outside, the family saw a police car, and Hana could have sworn she saw someone in the back seat. For some reason, the police officers were having an argument.

 

---

Do these lines really need to be here?

"So in conclusion, Alice," Joe said. "Starscream would certainly be able to defeat Iron Man."

 

"Ah, but who is to say Iron Man could not defeat Captain Falcon?" Alice argued.

 

"You are forgetting that Iron Man's power level is over nine thousand. Even the Falcon Punch could not compete with such a dangerous opponent." These are such stupid cops. Not stupid-funny, just stupid-idiotic.

 

Alice rolled her eyes at her partner's blather. Turning to the boy they had taken in, she asked him a question.

 

"So, I heard you like Mudkips." HA! An internet meme that will probably become dated. Hilarious, especially when said by a “professional” cop!

 

Daniel's brain felt like it was about to give out, but he was considering the officers that were driving him to the police station were the cause.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapter 4: Mystery]

The Royal Knights had decided to temporarily call of their hunt of the X Digimon. All OF THEM WERE floating high above the ocean except for Omnimon, Duftmon, and Craniummon, who had gone off for reasons unknown to even Imperialdramon. Crusadermon was able to survive the Chaosdramon X were it not for the help of Susanoomon and Rapidmon. That’s like saying, out of the blue and expecting us to know all of these people, that Rick and Jimmy went to school, but Jamie and Bobbie skipped it to go to the arcade, unbeknownst to Albert, Elvis, Paul and Robertson, even though they’d called Robin beforehand. Now Carly, Ulysses and Ethan and having a meeting in the restaurant while Mitchroni went to the bathroom. HUNH!?!?!?

 

"Imperialdramon," Susanoomon began. "Why is it that you wish to call OFF the hunt?" Of course, the author isn’t expected to describe. Susanoo’s the mascot, like Pikachu and Yugi, right? Everyone knows him! HeheWRONG.

 

"Do not worry," Imperialdramon assured him. "We shall resume the hunt once we finish discussing the matter of Gallantmon's death. Omnimon has told us that Lord Yggdrasil wholeheartedly accepts Gallantmon's death."

The plot so far sounds like this: “We’re calling off the hunt! No, we’re not. Unless we do this! Just after this! Have fun killing this!” Meanwhile, in the Real World, “Blah blah blah! Stuff we think you’ll care about! I herd u liek Mudkipz!”

The reactions of every Royal Knight said enough. Some were surprised at their God's decision, but others such as Crusadermon simply did not care.

 

"I have decided," Imperialdramon continued, "that we shall split up into groups. You can either remain here to eliminate any X Digimon that are left or you can come with me to see the Sovereigns."

 

Susanoomon stepped forward at Imperialdramon's statement. "I will lead the extermination group, but why do you wish to speak with the Sovereigns? Their neutrality will only put us at a further stalemate about what is to be done with the Demon Lords."

 

"I believe that we could at least sway the Sovereigns towards our side. I know that they do not agree with Yggdrasil, so they may in fact support only us Royal Knights."

 

The Royal Knights pondered on who they should side with. Imperialdramon had founded the Royal Knights, but had split into two entities to fill two positions. Omnimon, who was once a part of Imperialdramon, would be a member of the Royal Knights, and Imperialdramon would act as the leader. Most of them accepted this, believing the legend of Alphamon to be false. And you expect me to know this legend. Isn’t that like expecting a Jewish person to have full knowledge of the New Testament? They already had every seat filled, so their decision on who to side with easily reflected their beliefs.

 

"I shall go with you." UlforceVeedramon told Susanoomon. Magnamon looked at his older brother with a raised eyebrow.

 

"If brother's following you, I guess I will too." he declared.

 

"I for one have faith in the Sovereigns," Dynasmon admitted, "I feel little need for slaughtering more of these X Digimon.

 

"Well then, I guess I'll be going with you, Dynasmon!" Crusadermon shouted with glee. "Just touching those filthy beasts is insulting." Ahaha. Gaywad/typical “Ew *squeal* annoying girlygirl.

 

Dynasmon chuckled. "At least you're not calling me by that infuriating name."

 

"Oh, you miss it already, Dyny?" Crusadermon teased, putting an unnecessary amount of emphasis on the last word. Dynasmon was ready to grab Crusadermon by the head and thrust him oh, so it’s the gaywad at the closest mountain, but refused to exert more strength than he needed to.

 

"I suppose I'll go with you as well." Examon, the ironically draconic Royal Knight said. Rapidmon and Sleipmon When’d he get here? exchanged a look, but ultimately decided to stand with Susanoomon without saying a word.

 

Imperialdramon looked at the three that had chosen to support him.

 

Imperialdramon, I pray that whatever you have in mind will end this chaos. thought Unspecifiedmon.

 

---

 

The painful drive with Alice and Joe had at last ended. Daniel was brought into the police station, and Joe removed the handcuffs the shackled Daniel's hands in front of him. The police station has several lemurs and a few tapirs running around. The Joker stops to pet a tapir.

 

"There you are!" an angry voice shouted. Daniel, Joe, and Alice saw a man looking to be in his late FORTIES. He had short, light brown hair AND five-o'clock shadow. He was dressed in white shirt with black jeans and a black tie. Joe and Alice saluted the man, but he simple wave of the man's hand was enough to say "at ease". UEP!

 

"I heard there was a call about some illegal file sharing and said you two went off to get to the bottom of it.”

 

"Sir, it is against the law for such acts of piracy TO BE DONE." Joe reminded the man.

 

"Well, it's unnecessary to bring in some kid for stuff like this. It's the company who should take care of this, not the police. Just go off and get some donuts."

 

Joe and Alice left in a flash, accepting the man's suggestion. Ahaha. EVERY cop eats donuts. If I were a cop, I’d probably be insulted by this.

 

"Kid, come with me." the man told Daniel, opening the door to his office. The man sat in his chair, and Daniel took the chair on the opposite side of the desk.

 

"Sorry about that. Those two are new, and just got recently transferred. I can't blame the guys who wanted to get rid of them, though. By the way, my name's Martin Mavroe , and Mavroe is actually a corruption of the REAL last name Mavro, in case you thought it actually existed. If you could, I'd like to know how you got your hands on the disk."

 

"My dad gave it to me." Daniel answered.

 

"Your dad? The call came from a man named Marren Walker."

 

Daniel's eyes widened at the man's answer.

 

"Last I heard," Martin continued, "he didn't have any sons. Just a daughter. Not only that, he died. Very strange"

 

"Marren Walker...was my grandfather."

 

Martin's left eyebrow raised at the boy's response.

 

"Well, I guess that would make sense. You look old enough to be his grandson. But that's not important. What's your father's name?"

 

"Zachariah. Zachariah Mellow."

 

"That stereotypically rich family? This is strange."

 

"Did you know my grandpa? Mom says she doesn't remember much about him."

 

"Yeah, he used to work with me. You've ever heard of the Paradiso Group?" At this time, Martin's fingers were interlocking and he was leaning forward. The conversation had taken an interesting turn for him. FINALLY we get to the whole crap about Digimon and people coming together. And it only took four chapters. Wait, isn’t that a long time?

 

"Not really. I just know grandpa died working with them."

 

"So, it is the same guy. Said with no expression, so it sounds really odd. Either someone is pulling a practical joke on us, or someone just happens to have the same Marren Walker also. Someone can possess a person in this day and age? The way this is said...is odd. Where would your mother be right now?"

 

Daniel turned around to look at the clock hanging on the wall behind him. 6:24. The clock was shaped like a lovable tapir.

 

"She should still be at work. She usually finishes up by now." She WASN’T hanging out with friends?

 

"I see. This has peaked my interest, so use this phone."

 

Daniel took the telephone that was situated on the desk and dialed his mother's cell phone number.

 

"Hello?" came a tender female voice on the other side.

 

"Mom..."

 

---

 

There was a change in plans. Yuusuke's family had decided to go to the mall today. Fortunately, Yuusuke had managed to inform Commander Ikari, and she said she would make the necessary adjustments. His mother was looking for new clothes and his father was going to get some hardware tools. Yuusuke on the other hand was off to GameStop. Parents these days. They always expect their teens to be responsible and not run off when they’re left alone. He was wondering if Commander Ikari would actually show up like she said she would. Whether or not she did, it made no difference to Yuusuke, since he would have gone to GameStop anyway.

 

Oddly enough, a girl was actually standing right outside GameStop holding a sign that said "Legend Zero". She was wearing brown jeans and a sleeveless green shirt. She had long brown hair that was tied into two ponytails that went to her thighs PERIOD This is like saying “She had hair and eyes that looked like this. She was tall. She had this and this on. She smiled.” It’s just too many shes for me to handle. Every customer that walked either laughed, pointed, snickered, or just ignored the girl. Before Yuusuke could talk to the girl, a rather portly man working at the store walked up to her.

 

"Listen, I have no idea what you're doing, but it looks like you might be driving away the customers. Just, go somewhere else or I'll call security."

 

The girl frowned and turned away, accepting defeat at the hands of the management. She didn’t speak or defend herself, either. She’s just a wimp. She found a nearby bench and sat down, holding up her sign with little enthusiasm.

 

"Hey," Yuusuke said, approaching the sad girl. "I'm Legend Zero."

 

"For real?" the girl asked, sounding surprisingly more perky than she looked moments ago.

 

"Yeah, I got your PM. What did you want to talk to me about?"

 

"Well, I know this might sound strange, but I'm looking for help about finding my brother. I'm starting up a search group, and I need all the help I can get."

 

"You asked me over an internet forum just for that?" Yuusuke asked, questioning this rather bizarre girl's motives. Well, if you want to get all of the people in your area to help search for somebody when the police have probably stopped, it’s NOT BIZARRE. If the search party stopped, it’s actually a good thing to do if you find someone with a similar IP address on the internet. That’s like saying, “You sent me a message on a forum knowing I was close by your home just to help me search for your lost brother, who’s probably incredibly important to both you and your family?”

 

"Well, the police won't help, I already got my cousin to help me."

 

"Sorry, I'd love to help, but this is just rather random." I knew I wouldn’t like him. Yuusuke is just a jerk who doesn’t care very much about other people. Legend Zero turned away, deciding he had wasted enough time.

 

"Aw, come on!"

 

"I said no. Even if you were to bribe me with a date or something, I can't help."

 

"Heartless little jerk."

 

Yuusuke sighed, compelled to listen to his conscience. UEP!

 

"Alright, if you want, I'll help. Do you have even any idea where he is QUESTION MARK”

 

The girl mumbled an incoherent response.

 

"What?"

 

"I said he's in the Digital World." the girl said a lot more louder than necessary, confusing other passersby as well as Yuusuke.

 

What is this girl on? Yuusuke thought.

 

"Hey, Kekio!" another male voice called. ”Hey, Obviously-Japanese-Girl!” Do that many Japanese immigrants really come to America? Or Canada? Eh?

 

A blonde boy, looking about Yuusuke's age, ran up to Kekio holding a bag. UEP!

 

"About the tracker...yeah, I couldn't find it."

 

"Well COMMA that sucks."

 

"You guys are looking for a tracker in a mall?" said Unspecified. It’s probably Yuusuke, but...erm?

 

"Is this that Legend Zero guy?" the boy asked.

 

"Yes, Derek, he said he's going to help us."

 

And then I'm going to find out what stuff you two are sharing. Ewwww. He sounded dirty back there. Why does he think these people aren’t just related, and why would he assume they’re sharing...stuff? Yuusuke’s an idiot. He may carry books, but he’s an idiot.

 

"So, what's your name?" the girl asked. "I'm Kekio. Kekio Suzaki. This is my cousin, Derek Namio." Eww. His family is named after a person who made errotic paintings. I know that’s a real last name, but the Google ImageSearch brought this up and I felt the need to say it.

 

"I'm Yuusuke Echizen." Brother of the prince of tennis! Or distant relative. YOU DECIDE!!

 

Derek and Kekio each put their right hands out, Kekio's right above Derek's.

 

"Come on, put you're hand in." Kekio ordered.

 

What, you're the leader? Reluctantly, Yuusuke agreed and place his hand on top of Kekio's. Kekio and Derek simultaneously withdrew their hands and Yuusuke followed suit. What looked like this ragtag team's salute was finished. I would have asked about why I was automatically in this salute, or at least shrugged while doing it. Stupid Yuusuke, however, accepts it without question. WUT!?!?

Overall the story has potential, but the characters don’t feel realistic, the description is repetitive if there at all, it took a little long for the link to the two worlds to develop, and you automatically assume we know EVERYTHING about Digimon. I frequently had to use the Digimon Wikia just to look up pictures of these guys, which gets tiresome, you know. Heck, even the Comedy Relief Krew was more annoying and stupid than funny and relatable. Just make the story faster and easier to connect with, and ye shall be Kendo Fish Approved.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, you asked for a report, and here it is. You asked for chapter 4 as well, and I will ignore all plot points relating to previous chapters that I likely missed.

[spoiler=Chapter 4: Mystery]

The Royal Knights had decided to temporarily call of their hunt of the X Digimon. All where floating high above the ocean except for Omnimon' date=' Duftmon, and Craniummon, who had gone off for reasons unknown to even Imperialdramon. Crusadermon was able to survive the Chaosdramon X were it not for the help of Susanoomon and Rapidmon.

Wow, I SURE am glad I know all these 'mons, otherwise I'd be dead by now... of confusion.

"Imperialdramon," Susanoomon began. "Why is it that you wish to call of the hunt?"

 

"Do not worry," Imperialdramon assured him. "We shall resume the hunt once we finish discussing the matter of Gallantmon's death. Omnimon has told us that Lord Yggdrasil wholeheartedly accepts Gallantmon's death."

NOOOO! GALANTMON IS DEEEEAD!! AND 'YGGDRASIL' HAS NO 'MON' IN IT!! NOOOOO!!

The reactions of every Royal Knight said enough. Some were surprised at their God's decision, but others such as Crusadermon simply did not care.

So, this means that tree-name-man doesn't care?

"I have decided," Imperialdramon continued, "that we shall split up into groups. You can either remain here to eliminate any X Digimon that are left or you can come with me to see the Sovereigns."

This reminds me of some movie article I read one time that had to do with the X!! thingimobobber and some DEXMON dudemanguy.

Susanoomon stepped forward at Imperialdramon's statement. "I will lead the extermination group, but why do you wish to speak with the Sovereigns? Their neutrality will only put us at a further stalemate about what is to be done with the Demon Lords."

 

"I believe that we could at least sway the Sovereigns towards our side. I know that they do not agree with Yggdrasil, so they may in fact support only us Royal Knights."

 

The Royal Knights pondered on who they should side with. Imperialdramon had founded the Royal Knights, but had split into two entities to fill two positions. Omnimon, who was once a part of Imperialdramon, would be a member of the Royal Knights, and Imperialdramon would act as the leader. Most of them accepted this, believing the legend of Alphamon to be false. They already had every seat filled, so their decision on who to side with easily reflected their beliefs.

 

"I shall go with you." UlforceVeedramon told Susanoomon. Magnamon looked at his older brother with a raised eyebrow.

Man, having all of the knights together all at once is REALLY confusing. Where are they? And how are they standing, in a circle? if answered before, don't answer.

"If brother's following you, I guess I will too." he declared.

 

"I for one have faith in the Sovereigns," Dynasmon admitted, "I feel little need for slaughtering more of these X Digimon.

PUNCTUATION ERROR ALERT

"Well then, I guess I'll be going with you, Dynasmon!" Crusadermon shouted with glee. "Just touching those filthy beasts is insulting."

You know, this scene was KINDA boring, and is getting dragged on pretty boringly. In a boring way.

Dynasmon chuckled. "At least you're not calling me by that infuriating name."

 

"Oh, you miss it already, Dyny?" Crusadermon teased, putting an unnecessary amount of emphasis on the last word. Dynasmon was ready to grab Crusadermon by the head and thrust him at the closest mountain, but refused to exert more strength than he needed to.

They're STILL talking?! Hurry up and cut to the next scene!

"I suppose I'll go with you as well." Examon, the ironically draconic Royal Knight said. Rapidmon and Sleipmon exchanged a look, but ultimately decided to stand with Susanoomon without saying a word.

How's that ironic? If it's weird to have a dragon knight, Gallantmon came from Guilmon, the dragon-guy, too. And Omnimon... Agumon counts now. He's a dragon dino. Now aside from that, I'm STILL bored because they couldn't have cut this conversation sooner.

Imperialdramon looked at the three that had chosen to support him.

 

Imperialdramon, I pray that whatever you have in mind will end this chaos.

 

---

 

The painful drive with Alice and Joe had at last ended. Daniel was brought into the police station, and Joe removed the handcuffs the shackled Daniel's hands in front of him.

FINALLY.

"There you are!" an angry voice shouted. Daniel, Joe, and Alice saw a man looking to be in his late fourties. He had short, light brown hair an a five-o'clock shadow. He was dressed in white shirt with black jeans and a black tie. Joe and Alice saluted the man, but he simple wave of the man's hand was enough to say "at ease".

So those two are officers? Not very scary names, huh?

"I heard there was a call about some illegal file sharing and said you two went off to get to the bottom of it."

 

"Sir, it is against the law for such acts of piracy." Joe reminded the man.

 

"Well, it's unnecessary to bring in some kid for stuff like this. It's the company who should take care of this, not the police. Just go off and get some donuts."

What's with this department? "Officers Fluffernut and Tinklebottom, why have you brought this serial arsonist here?"

"Because, Deputy Happyface, he was using Gleemco brand lighters to set houses, people, and puppies on fire."

"Gleemco?! Why, we should arrest THEM instead of this dangerous homicidal maniac! Now get some donuts and coffee, or whatever stereotyped policemen like."

"But I'm a woman."

"YOU TOO, FLUFFERNUT!!"

Um, yeeeah, that was even MORE uncomfortable. But aside from that, I say aside a lot, and I don't see why this idiot police-chief-guy is so lax. AND NOT ALL OFFICERS ARE DONUT-LOVERS. Why, officer Bill O' Riley died last year because of him being... donut intolerant. Maybe.

Joe and Alice left in a flash, accepting the man's suggestion.

 

"Kid, come with me." the man told Daniel, opening the door to his office. The man sat in his chair, and Daniel took the chair on the opposite side of the desk.

What does this 'man' look like? What else s in his office? Does he like strawberry ice cream? Describe, please. MORE!!

"Sorry about that. Those two are new, and just got recently transferred. I can't blame the guys who wanted to get rid of them, though. By the way, my name's Martin Mavroe. If you could, I'd like to know how you got your hands on the disk."

 

"My dad gave it to me." Daniel answered.

 

"Your dad? The call came from a man named Marren Walker."

 

Daniel's eyes widened at the man's answer.

Dun dun DUUUUUUN!!

"Last I heard," Martin continued, "he didn't have any sons. Just a daughter. Not only that, he died. Very strange"

 

"Marren Walker...was my grandfather."

 

Martin's left eyebrow raised at the boy's response.

 

"Well, I guess that would make sense. You look old enough to be his grandson. But that's not important. What's your father's name?"

 

"Zachariah. Zachariah Mellow."

 

"That rich family? This is strange."

Well, wait 'till ya hear the story on that one! It's a zinger!

"Did you know my grandpa? Mom says she doesn't remember much about him."

Well, unless he died when she was really young, that doesn't make much sense. Was she a baby at his time of death? Was she dropped on her head? Did Nnoitra Jiruga get angry at her, got the help of Szayel Aporro Granz, attacked her, cracking her mask, gave her amnesia and reduced her into a child-like state?! Even I'm not sure where the last one came from. Bleach fans will get it.

"Yeah, he used to work with me. You've ever heard of the Paradiso Group?" At this time, Martin's fingers were interlocking and he was leaning forward. The conversation had taken an interesting turn for him.

 

"Not really. I just know grandpa died working with them."

 

"So, it is the same guy. Either someone is pulling a practical joke on us, or someone just happens to have the same Marren Walker also. Where would your mother be right now?"

The same... Marren Walker? I don't get it. Also I can't really keep up with the story at this point due to the pacing, but that's probably just me.

Daniel turned around to look at the clock hanging on the wall behind him. 6:24.

 

"She should still be at work. She usually finishes up by now."

 

"I see. This has peaked my interest, so use this phone."

 

Daniel took the telephone that was situated on the desk and dialed his mother's cell phone number.

 

"Hello?" came a tender female voice on the other side.

 

"Mom..."

 

---

 

There was a change in plans. Yuusuke's family had decided to go to the mall today. Fortunately, Yuusuke had managed to inform Commander Ikari, and she said she would make the necessary adjustments. His mother was looking for new clothes and his father was going to get some hardware tools. Yuusuke on the other hand was off to GameStop. He was wondering if Commander Ikari would actually show up like she said she would. Whether or not she did, it made no difference to Yuusuke, since he would have gone to GameStop anyway.

GASP! Yuusuke, under command of COMMANDER IKARI!! is at the GameStop at the mall, and has let his mom and dad go to different places to get random stuff. Now I'm not sure, but this kid's probably in an army of some sort... that uses Digimon to fight. Yeah, I almost forgot about those scams too. Ah ha ha!

Oddly enough, a girl was actually standing right outside GameStop holding a sign that said "Legend Zero". She was wearing brown jeans and a sleeveless green shirt. She had long brown hair that was tied into two ponytails that went to her thighs Every customer that walked either laughed, pointed, snickered, or just ignored the girl. Before Yuusuke could talk to the girl, a rather portly man working at the store walked up to her.

You forgot a period in there.

"Listen, I have no idea what you're doing, but it looks like you might be driving away the customers. Just, go somewhere else or I'll call security."

 

The girl frowned a turned away, accepting defeat at the hands of the management. She found a nearby bench and sat down, holding up her sign with little enthusiasm.

No! Don't give up, semi-random girl! You can do it! I believe in you and your part in the story!!

"Hey," Yuusuke said, approaching the sad girl. "I'm Legend Zero."

WHUBBA-HUH?! I NEVER SAW THAT COMING!! Well, I bet everybody who read the previous chapters did, of course. But I’m surprised that the girl would have such a stupid sign. Maybe she could have been a jerk and had the BOY wear something specific, like a sticker with Sonic the Hedgehog on it. Heh, she could’ve avoided embarassment.

"For real?" the girl asked, sounding surprisingly more perky than she looked moments ago.

 

"Yeah, I got your PM. What did you want to talk to me about?"

 

"Well, I know this might sound strange, but I'm looking for help about finding my brother. I'm starting up a search group, and I need all the help I can get."

 

"You asked me over an internet forum just for that?" Yuusuke asked, questioning this rather bizarre girl's motives.

What?! You need me JUST to find your brother? That’s stupid and meaningless. I’m outta here.

"Well, the police won't help, I already got my cousin to help me."

 

"Sorry, I'd love to help, but this is just rather random." Legend Zero turned away, deciding he had wasted enough time.

I can sympathize with the guy. I wouldn't help her either until she ACTUALLY told me more info. Who says 'Hey my brother's missing and I can't tell you where he may be there's no reward but I want your help kthxbye!'?!

"Aw, come on!"

 

"I said no. Even if you were to bribe me with a date or something, I can't help."

 

"Heartless little jerk."

*GASP* She just insulted him for doing the smart but still kinda mean thing! What will he do?!

Yuusuke sighed, compelled to listen to his conscience.

 

"Alright, if you want, I'll help. Do you have even any idea where he is."

Well I'm afraid I can't answer your question until you exchange this following question mark with your misplaced period -> ?

The girl mumbled an incoherent response.

 

"What?"

 

"I said he's in the Digital World." the girl said a lot more louder than necessary, confusing other passersby as well as Yuusuke.

Oh, yeah, that place! With the digital monsters! Yeah, I AUTOMATICALLY KNOW THAT PLACE!! SHE'S BEING AN IGNORANT POOP-HEAD!! MAKE HER STOP!!!

What is this girl on? Yuusuke thought.

 

"Hey, Kekio!" another male voice called.

 

A blonde boy, looking about Yuusuke's age, ran up to Kekio holding a bag.

"Oh, hi bro! Where were you? How'd you get out of the digital world?"

"Oh, I walked out of the front door and all of a sudden, I was naked in Tibet! And there's a funny story about how I got back here and knew where you'd be!"

"Thanks, main character! I couldn't have found him without you!"

If only it were that easy.

"About the tracker...yeah, I couldn't find it."

 

"Well that sucks."

 

"You guys are looking for a tracker in a mall?"

 

"Is this that Legend Zero guy?" the boy asked.

 

"Yes, Derek, he said he's going to help us."

 

And then I'm going to find out what stuff you two are sharing.

Yay, drugs! Yes, ALL crazy people are on drugs. Even if they show no visible signs, they're DEFINITELY crack addicts. Yeah, this joke's getting old, fast.

"So, what's your name?" the girl asked. "I'm Kekio. Kekio Suzaki. This is my cousin, Derek Namio."

Ha! He has an ENGLISH name when they all live in JAPAN! I guess, since I can't really tell. Do they have GameStops in Japan o is this all in Chinatown? Japantown. Whatever.

"I'm Yuusuke Echizen."

 

Derek and Kekio each put their right hands out, Kekio's right above Derek's.

 

"Come on, put you're hand in." Kekio ordered.

 

What, you're the leader? Reluctantly, Yuusuke agreed and place his hand on top of Kekio's. Kekio and Derek simultaneously withdrew their hands and Yuusuke followed suit. What looked like this ragtag team's salute was finished.

***THEY'RE STYLIN'***

 

 

Well, I found this to be really boring, and the interesting parts lasted so long that they became tedious. Maybe you might want to practice transitioning, or work on those types of scenes harder. I haven't looked at anything else you've written, but if it doesn't make any more sense than the stupid team salute, fix it. FIX IT NOW!!

[Phantom Roxas]

Thanks for the help you guys. I'll make the appropriate fixes later.

 

EDIT: Chapters 1 & 2 have been fixed.

[Legend Zero]

OK, I finally got to read chapter 4. I'm really getting into this one. =D

[Phantom Roxas]

I noticed you have an inexplicable dislike of Baihumon. Yeah, I'm still going to do whatever I want with him in the story.

[Legend Zero]

I noticed you have an inexplicable dislike of Baihumon. Yeah' date=' I'm still going to do whatever I want with him in the story.

[/quote']

 

He is just my least favorite Sovereign. D:

My dislike won't effect the way I veiw the story overall.

[Phantom Roxas]

What's wrong with Baihumon?

[Phantom Roxas]

Chapter 3 is currently being edited according to Kendo Fishes report.

 

EDIT: I believe it has now been perfected.

 

Btw, Kendo Fish, you had complained that Ios was a real word. Ios is a location in this story's Digital World, as you can tell, and I named it after the Greek word for Virus. So in the Digital World, it is a real word.

[Phantom Roxas]

Methinks this should be bumped.

[Phantom Roxas]

I will be tweaking Chapter Four later today, since I've decided to eliminate Joe and Alice because of how stupid and pointless they are. Afterwards, I will work on Chapter 5, which should be the best chapter yet, and hopefully the longest.

[Phantom Roxas]

Chapter 5 is up. I really did the whole chapter just now.