kordeleski Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 I decided to just go with a yugioh fan fic. [spoiler=Characters so far][spoiler=Jay Shouhecki] Or Sketch is an all around cool guy he uses ninja cards to force his foe into small little corner and cry. [spoiler= his favorite card] [spoiler=His deck list] Note I will only do this for the main character so you know what to expect name wise. assassin in the shadowsassult on the squadblazing fire ninja Hiatsubounty hunter Jinkoseiemergency mission statusfallen ninja takahaskifalse guisefestival of firefire barragefire starterflipping tidegomaku the failed ninjagor the rock ninjahidden trap of forbbiden scrollsidentity theftinjured ninjakunai masterymana guardmealstrom jutsumist ninjamoonl light ninjamortal woundNin-squadNinja leader AlenaNinja statue - lost soul consumerninja statue - physical deityninja statue - spirit deityninja vendorninja village - Raishin's fortressNinjutsu mergeOricalcum kunaiRai-shin - the ninja hiroSealing art of shikizakiself sacraficeShikosei Ninja of the futureSun light NinjaSunshinSynch NinjaThe plot thickensTrap disarmentVix Ninja of the forestWandering Blade [spoiler=Totsu] A member of the 8 Lords of Averice his man implies that he uses iron monsters with high defense and or attack as the story starts he is dueling Sketch after an arguement over what sub type is better. Appearence [spoiler= his favorite card] [spoiler=Kusai] A member of the 8 lords of Averice who uses fire type monsters to control the field. While Totsu and Sketch are dueling he is actually whatching from a distance. He is very judgemental but rarely shows it and took an intrest in Skech after he saw how rare and powerful his deck is. Appearence [spoiler= his favorite card] [spoiler=Sean Naswin]A blunt scientist who is always Criticizing Jay for his recklessness and abandonment of rules. Unlike Jay, Sean memorises and follows rule to no end allowing him to devise combos people wouldn't nomally see. He uses science cards to win and won't usually use the same combo twice. [spoiler=Appearence] [spoiler=Favorite card] [spoiler=Duels so far]Iron Ninja compitition - Jay and Totsu battle to determine which is better Ninjas or Iron rock cards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kordeleski Posted June 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 [spoiler=Chapter 1 The lord of Iron and earth] "Hmm... Ya know what Totsu you and could just agree they are both great" Jay had said half mockingly "because I'd hate to humiliate not only your monsters but one of the 8 lords of Avarice." Totsu gave a smug look and said "You will find that a little problematic look at the field" As stood the field was a problemsome force to be reckon with. Jay 2000 - Totsu 6300 On Jay's side of the field was a face down monster and a face-up defense mode Injured ninja laying there riddled with cuts sprawled out on the ground looking almost like a corpse, [injured ninja/type Fire/Ninja-effect/Level 1/ATK 0/Def 0/Effect - this card can only be removed from the field by the effect of Festival of Fire] he had aswell two face-down spells and traps. On Totsu's side of the field was Iron fighter equip with fairy meteor crush holding two guns with pink auras, bearing a facial exspresion as if he was out for blood, and two face down monsters beside him. [iron fighter/type earth/rock-effect/Level 5/ATK 1900/DEF 2000/Effect - While you hace 1 or more face up Iron monsters you can special summon this card. This card cannot be used as tribute] "Ok" said Totsu "Attack his injured ninja Iron Fighter!" As instructed the man shot 19 rounds in under a few seconds that flew through the ninja and straight a Jay. As the bullets hit Jay cringed from the shockwave being forced back and while saying "I guess it's my turn I draw." "Aha" he said with a sigh of relief "I play festival of fire and tribute all the cards on my side of the field to gain 2000 life points. Upon saying this the cards began to disintigrate into glowing specs of light lifting of the ground, and since Injured Ninja was destroyed I special summon Blazing Fire Ninja Hiatsu." As the rest of the field faded away a tall muscular figure appeared his body glew with the fire surrounding it. [Festival of fire/normal spell card/ you and your opponet may send all cards on your side of the field to the graveyard to gain 2000 life points. If injured ninja is destroyed this way special summon Blazing Fire Ninja Hiatsu from your deck or hand] [blazing Fire Ninja Hiatsu/Type Fire/Ninja-effect/Level 12/Atk 3000/DEF 2000/Effect - This card can only be summoned by the effect of Festival of Fire. When a ninja card is destroyed inflict 500 damage to your opponets life points. You can tribute 1 ninja to draw 1 card.This card can't attack the first turn it is summoned or during a turn it used its effect] "now I tribute my Blazing ninja to tribute summon Fallen Ninja Takahashi and set 3 face downs to end my turn." With the finishing of his statement Jay removed the Blazing ninja card and replaced a newer one as Takahashi took the place of Hiatsu swinging his burning katana through the air as if he was enraged. [Fallen Ninja Takahashi/Type Fire/Ninja-effect/Level 9/ATK 2800/DEF 2500/Effect - This card only requires 1 tribute but it must have more than 2000 atk or def. When this card attacks you can destroy the card with this cards effect and inflict 500 points of effect damage and the opponet draws 1 card. This can't be chained to.]. Jay 2100 - Totsu 6000 Totsu began to laugh uncontrolably "oh man your hopeless you shouldn't give up a strong card for a weaker one oh whew' I draw and play a Iron classer and Courtship of Iron, you see metal can be merged together to form bigger stronger metal" . [Courtship of Iron/normal spell card/send all Iron monsters you control to special summon monument to Iron Statue of Ridous] [iron classer/Type earth/rock/level 3/Atk 700/Def 2100] I realese Iron fighter, Iron classer, and my two face down Iron sheer walls to the graveyard to special summon Monument to Iron Statue of Ridious in defense mode and end my turn." Once he finished his small arrogant statement a large forge appeared and dragged the two walls of Iron, Iron fighter and the new scholar like metal skined male. inside and poured out a hulking statue with rounded arms and a huge torso, the monster was so big it had cut the image off at the leggs. The monster crossed its shining silver arms as if to portect itself [Monument to Iron Statue of Ridious/Type earth/rock-effect/Level 8/ATK ?/DEF?/Effect - If this card was summoned by courtship of Iron it must be summoned in defense mode this monsters ATK and DEF are equal to the number of monsters destroy by courtship of Irons effect X 1000] "Good enough I draw and activate emergency mission status to special summon a monster from my deck with 2000 or less ATK and I choose Ninja statue - lost soul consummer" The statue came out on cue and a spectral man carrying a large cleaver and wearing black armor appeared. [this cards original atk is equal to the number of ninjas in my grave X 200] "This card gains attack for each monster in my graveyard that happens to be a ninja card, and through out the duel that makes 13 X 200 equals 2600 ATK but I activate ninjutsu merge making both of my ninjas original ATK 2700 and they can attack twice." As he continued Jay said " I add in kunai mastery giving my statue 900 more ATK, so now I attack your statue with my fallen ninja and its destroyed instantly you also lose 500 life points and draw 1 card "no way arrrghhh Jay" Totsu started to scrowl. now I attack withmy ninja statue twice 5800 - 3600 -3600 = -1400 as Totsu fell to the ground Jay walked away saying "hmm Iron does shine so bright anymore now does it." As Jay walked into the dark room of the unlit building called Dormor Core he was approched by a shadowy figure. The figure slowly moved into the light so that Jay may see him, he was tall and slim, wore a grey suit with a dormor pin and round rimed sunglasses. The man said aggressively "Jay you weren't supposed to duel him your job was to make sure no threats got near the new Alkairs rouges and remnents of suffering decks". Jay gave a shrug and said there was only four people in that room all night, I made sure the decks were safe, and I beat 7th top ranked duelist in the region. Can't you just be happy for once in your life?'' "You know I can't, your deck may be the best one ever created up to date for commoners but one you shouldn't test that theory against better duelists and two these new decks arn't somthing you can shrug off losing." Jay's reply was a simple "so Sean" and off he left. [spoiler=Card view for chapter 1]Sealing art of shikozi - normal spell card - once you play this card it is shuffled face up into the opponets deck, each time he draws this card he reshuffles it into his deck then discards 1 card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Well, since you've acted so nicely to me so far, I can only give you a review in return! First, your chapter is awfully short. 750 words isn't much; I usually end up writing 3000 words, and that's on a bad day. Also, your sentences have a habit of running on a lot, and capitalization isn't used when it should be. It's also very sparsely detailed, so add more description on your characters and the monsters they use, what actions they take, etc. If you just take the time to revise your stuff before posting, you should see drastic improvement. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lown master Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 I say it`s okay, coud use words in it tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kordeleski Posted June 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2009 uhh ok I'll do that unfortunatly my internet is susspended so I have minimal use. I took for ever to load this page. That should do for now Ill change more tommorow, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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