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The Adventures of Cirno and Patchouli [Chapter 3 Is Up]

Skuldur

By Skuldur
in Creative Writing

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Skuldur

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Hello there fellow YCM members.

 

I have finally decided to make a fanfic and here it is. =D

 

Plot Summary: Patchouli and Cirno are detectives in a sinful city and take on many mysterious/funny cases.

 

Hope you guys like it. ;D

 

[spoiler=[b]Chapter 1[/b]]It was a cold and stormy night. The people on the streets ran as fast as they could for shelter from the pouring rain. In a small office, safe from the rain, a purple haired girl sat reading the paper. Her hair flowed past her shoulders and down to her waist. Her eyes were tired from reading thousands of books. Her clothes consisted of a long lavender jacket, blue jeans, and a frilly shirt.

 

There hadn’t been much work these last few months. All of the criminals were in jail and there were no strange happenings. It disturbed her. This was the kind of town that never slept. The range of characters gathered in this city was incredible. There was, however, one good thing about this lack of cases. She could finally read the books she had longed to read for so long.

 

The office was split in two. Her half consisted of large shelves packed with books. Her partners half was the exact opposite. It was full of DVDs and video games. It was kind of funny. They are complete opposites and still they work together on a daily basis. Sometimes it felt like that was the strangest thing about the job. She liked it this way, though. They both specialised in different areas and that’s what made them so good.

 

She looked up from her newspaper and smiled. It was nice when her partner wasn’t around. She was so loud. She could finally read her paper in peace.

 

Suddenly, the door burst open and a loud cheer could be heard.

 

“Patchy!”

 

The cheer made her jump out of her chair and drop the tea she was drinking on her jacket. She was infuriated.

 

“Cirno, how many times must I tell you to knock before bursting in?”

 

Cirno was her long time partner and friend. She had short tomboyish hair and always wore blue clothes. This time it was a blue raincoat and blue boots. Cirno was sort of dumb for a person her age, but she made up for that in determination.

 

Patchouli walked over and hit the girl in blue with her paper.

 

“So what’s the good news?”

 

Cirno was dazed for a moment after the hit.

 

“Oh right. I got the new volume of the “High School Mystery” manga.”

Patchouli sighed and turned her head away in hopes that she wouldn’t start ranting about the new volume.

 

“You see. In this volume, the main characters must find their teacher who has mysteriously disappeared from her apartment…”

 

Patchouli walked over to her desk and took out a couple of earplugs.

 

“…But then it turns out that the teacher is actually an alien esper from Mars. The reason she had disappeared was because she was fixing her teleportation device so she could get back home. Or that’s what she wants them to thi-“

 

At that moment she noticed that Patchy wasn’t listening. She hated when people ignored her. She walked over to the desk and smacked Patchy.

 

“Why did you do that?”

 

“You weren’t listening to my story” She said with the most childlike voice she could muster.

 

“My IQ would have dropped if I had listened. Now let’s drop the matter.”

 

At that moment, someone knocked at the door.

 

“Come in.”

 

The door opened and a white haired maiden walked in. She had two blades and was wearing a green and white dress. She looked around the room to see if it was safe and when she had confirmed it she turned around and bowed. Through the door walked a beauty like no other. Her pink hair reached beneath her shoulders. Her face was smooth and her eyes could melt ice. She was wearing the most exquisite blue dress from some exotic country.

 

She walked to the middle of the room and stopped there.

 

“I’m Yuyuko Saigyouji. I have a case for you.”

 

“That’s interesting. By the way, I’m Patchouli and this is my partner Cirno.”

 

She looked at Cirno as she introduced her and was shocked.

 

“Damn it Cirno. Stop drooling and try to look professional!”

 

Cirno had never seen such a beautiful woman before. She was in love.

 

“I love you!”

 

She yelled as she jumped towards Yuyuko trying to hug her. But her attempt was haltered by Youmu. She kicked Cirno back and pulled out one of her swords and pointed it towards the blue maiden.

 

“No one touches the mistress on my watch.”

 

Yuyuko grabbed Youmu’s shoulder and dismissed her.

 

“Anyway, back to the case. What is it, exactly?”

 

Yuyuko looked towards Patchouli.

 

“Someone has stolen my precious cherry trees.”

 

“There, there.”

 

Cirno tried to comfort her with a hug. But she noticed that Youmu was ready to jump at her with her sword. She backed away slowly to the desk to avoid another kick.

 

Patchouli pulled Cirno to her.

 

“Do you think we should take this case?”

 

“Of course. Anything to get closer to her.”

 

When they looked back to where Yuyuko had been standing earlier, they couldn’t find her. They looked all over and finally noticed that the fridge was open and someone was standing by it. They walked over to the fridge and to their horror, they saw that it was Yuyuko and she had eaten everything that was in there.

 

“How could you eat everything?”

 

“I was hungry.”

 

They went back to their desk and suddenly noticed that they were both hungry. They asked Yuyuko to explain everything.

 

“I kept them in my yard and they were about to bloom when someone under the veil of darkness took them.”

 

Patchouli immediately knew who it was after hearing the words “veil of darkness”. It had to be Rumia. The trees must be a part of her new ingenious plan to become queen or something.

 

“We’ve got this covered. You can leave now.”

 

Yuyuko walked out the door and her gardener followed, but not before glaring fiercely at Cirno. They both sighed when their newest clients left the office, but for different reasons. Patchouli was disappointed that it would be such an easy case and Cirno was happy to have found the woman of her dreams.

 

Cirno thought for a moment about their meeting. Yuyuko talked awfully lot to Patchy. She never addressed her. She thought there had to be something between them.

 

“Yuyuko’s mine!” She yelled at Patchouli.

 

“Okay, you can have her.”

 

“That was too easy. She must have a plan. I will just have to get rid of my competition.”

 

She jumped forward and landed a few meters away from Patchouli.

“I’m on to you. You want me to think that you don’t want her. But in reality you want her.”

 

“Cirno, I don’t like her. I hate it when you get jealous over nothing.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

She fired an icicle towards Patchouli’s head, but that attempt was futile. She simply used a spell to block the icicle.

 

“If you’re going to be that way, I will handle this case alone.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Let’s just get some rest and find Rumia tomorrow.”

 

“But I get all the thanks from Yuyuko!”

 

To Be Continued

 

[spoiler=[b]Chapter 2[/b]]Cirno woke up in an apartment that she was not familiar with. She wondered what she had been drinking last night. She slowly stood up and scratched her blue-haired head. The apartment she was in looked like a mix between a garden and a Chinese restaurant. Suddenly she heard someone open a door. She looked in the direction of the noise and saw the woman of her dreams walking in.

 

Yuyuko had a large smile on her face. She was carrying a bag of lingerie she had taken out of her closet. She noticed that Cirno was awake and put the bag down on the table. She walked over to Cirno.

 

“You’re finally awake, my love”

 

Cirno couldn’t believe her ears. She had won. Patchy and Youmu had lost. She jumped up into the air and ran to the window and opened it. She stuck her head out the window and yelled to Patchouli and Youmu who were conveniently positioned below the window.

 

“She’s mine bastards!”

 

Youmu started to cry at that instance and Patchouli immediately comforted her. She shook her head at Cirno. But Cirno didn’t mind. She was on top of the world. She had the woman of her dreams and her rivals were hobos.

She walked over to her bed, where Yuyuko was sitting, patiently awaiting her lover.

 

“Now where were we?” She asked as Cirno sat down next to her. Cirno moved her fingers through her lover’s hair and pulled her closer to her. She closed her eyes and passionately kissed Yuyuko.

 

“This is the best thing ever!” She thought as she opened her eyes. What she saw shocked her. Yuyuko had been replaced by angry Patchouli. She was trying to figure out what happened. But with her limited brain capacities she couldn’t figure it out.

 

“What are you doing here Pat-“She couldn’t say anything more because Patchouli had punched her in the face.

 

Reality shifted as she suddenly got punched out of her real bed. She was back in her regular apartment with a real Patchouli standing over her with a murderous look in her eyes. Cirno wondered why she wasn’t with Yuyuko anymore. She pinched her arm to see if this was real. Unfortunately it was. She looked up at her partner.

 

“Why are you so mad Patchy?”

 

Patchouli reached over to Cirno’s bed and took a purple fluffy pillow of the bed.

 

“This is my favourite pillow!” she yelled at Cirno. “And you got drool all over it with your dream kissing.”

 

“Anyway. Let’s just find Rumia and get those cherry trees back. Then we won’t have to deal with your “one true love” anymore.”

 

These words angered Cirno very much. She grabbed a manga book and threw it at Patchouli.

 

“Direct hit!” She yelled as the two hundred manga book hit the unsuspecting Patchouli.

 

Patchouli turned around and completely lost her temper. She gathered her magical energy in the form of a sphere and fired it at Cirno. However, the explosion caused by the sphere was so intense that it blew up the entire room.

 

“Let’s just get out of here.” Cirno suggested.

 

They left their apartment and headed straight for Rumia’s “house”. It was a sunny day. There were hardly any clouds in the sky.

 

Rumia’s house was really just a cardboard box with the word “house” written on it. She was rather fond of her house. Its simplicity really appealed to her. Maybe it was because she was so simple herself.

 

Cirno ran over to the house and jumped on top of it. The cardboard box collapsed instantly and Rumia ran out of it enraged.

 

“You did you guys ruin my pretty pretty house?”

 

Cirno and Patchouli looked at each other and couldn’t help but laugh at the dazzled Rumia. Rumia was confused.

 

“That was the ugliest and most pathetic house I had ever seen” Cirno commented on the house.

 

Rumia bursted into tears and ran away into the corner of the giant garden that was outside her house.

 

“Look what you did. You scared it away.”

 

They ran after the upset little Rumia and found her curled up up against a giant mushroom.

 

“Maybe we can make it more relaxed by offering it candy.” Cirno brilliantly suggested. She took out a piece of chocolate that was in her pocket and threw it at Rumia. She picked up the candy and instantly devoured it.

 

“More?”

 

“See what you did Cirno. Now it wants more.”

 

Cirno emptied her pockets of all the candy she had been saving for Yuyuko and gave it to Rumia.

 

“Now can you tell us what you did with Yuyuko’s cherry trees?”

 

Rumia looked up at the two women. She swallowed her candy and stood up.

 

“I can’t tell you here.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“The Mushroom people might hear us.”

 

Patchouli facepalmed at that ridiculous statement, but followed her into another cardboard box.

 

“Quick, get in the box!”

 

“There’s no way we can all fit inside that tiny little box.”

 

“Just follow me”

 

They all entered the box and to their surprise it was a lot bigger on the inside than on the outside. It looked like a palace in there. Rumia pulled out three luxury chairs and asked them to sit. Next she walked over to a closet and apparently started changing clothes. When she came back out she was wearing a toga and carrying a paintball gun.

 

“Why are you wearing tha-” Cirno asked, but was stopped by a paintball fired at her hand.

 

“Why did you do tha-“She was stopped again by a paintball.

 

“Why didn’t you want to talk with us outside?” Patchouli asked and surprisingly she wasn’t hit with a paintball.

 

“Why didn’t you shoot he-“ Cirno tried to ask but was again shot with a paintball.

 

Rumia sat down on the most luxurious chair of them all.

 

“The mushroom people would have heard and taken us.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“But why?”

 

“Because I stole their sacred mushroom stash.”

 

“Now that’s just ridiculou-“ Cirno tried once again to speak but was hit by a paintball.

 

“Can you tell us what you did with the cherry trees?”

 

Rumia took a sip of the tea that had magically appeared in front of her.

 

“I didn’t take them.”

 

“What are you talking about? They were taken under the veil of darkness, which fits you perfectly”

 

Rumia took a sip of the Pepsi that had appeared in the tea’s place.

 

“I was there when it happened.” She said as their surroundings suddenly got dark and foggy.

 

“The ones that took them were a squad of elite copycats. I have never seen them before but they are as real as the mushroom people!”

 

Cirno and Patchouli quickly stood up and started walking to the exit of the room that had materialized again.

 

“Why are you leaving?”

 

“Because there’s no truth in your words”

 

As they left the cardboard box palace, Rumia asked her butler Fiddles to hand her the phone. She dialled a number and put it against her ear.

 

“They didn’t believe it, mistress.”

 

“All according to plan” The mysterious voice in the phone claimed and a loud laughter followed.

 

When the duo were finally outside the sun had disappeared behind the clouds, which was strange, because there hadn’t been any clouds in the sky earlier.

 

“This day can’t get any stranger.” Patchouli said with a depressed tone.

 

All of the sudden, Cirno ran as fast as she could towards an unknown figure. Patchouli looked closely and noticed that it was Yuyuko. She walked over to her and ignored the ecstatic Cirno.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I got a call earlier and someone said there would be an all-you-can-eat buffet here. I was hungry after having eaten only a 10kg ham, so I decided to check it out.”

 

Patchouli looked at her partner, who had put up an innocent look. She already knew who the mysterious caller was.

 

“Anyway, we’re out of here. Come Cirno!”

 

“But I wanted to have a quality time with Yuyuko.”

 

Yuyuko was surprised by those words.

 

“Who are you anyway?” She asked.

 

Patchouli couldn’t help but laugh. Cirno had tried so hard to get her lover here and she didn’t even know who she was. Using her awesome intellect, Cirno figured that it was all Patchouli’s fault that Yuyuko didn’t know who she was.

 

“This is all your fault!”

 

“Mine?”

 

“Yes. You always try to keep Yuyuko from taking her eyes off you by saying something ridiculous.”

 

“I do no such thing.”

 

“Not anymore!” Cirno said as she grabbed a hand grenade she had found under her chair in Rumia’s house. She pulled out the pin and threw it at Patchouli. Patchouli quickly tried to run away, but it was to no avail. The grenade exploded a little more than half-way to her and they were both thrown away like dolls from the blast.

 

Cirno managed to get up before Patchouli because she had been further away.

 

“Yuyuko!” She yelled with a large smile on her face trying to locate her love interest. She finally found her chasing a butterfly in the distant.

 

“Why are you chasing a butterfly?”

 

“I wanna know where they keep their food supply.”

 

“Figures.” Patchouli said as she struggled to stand up.

 

“I guess we’ll head back to the office now.”

 

“But Yuyuko is still her-“ She didn’t get to finish the sentence because Patchouli had already grabbed her ear and was pulling her towards the office.

 

To Be Continued.

 

 

[spoiler=[b]Chapter 3[/b]]

 

 

Sex Slave and the Vampire

 

When they arrived at the office, they felt an unfamiliar feeling. It was as if something wicked was in the building, something that had most likely crawled up from the depths of Hell. Patchouli, being the brains of the operation, got up against a wall next to the closed door of their office. She signalled to Cirno to break down the door on 3.

 

She started counting with her fingers.

 

“1, 2 and-“Before she could finish counting, Cirno busted down the door and jumped at the shadowed person.

 

“You idiot! I said ‘on 3’!”

 

“But I got it.”

 

“Who did you get, anyway?”

 

Patchouli turned on the light and looked down at Cirno. The person she had tackled was wearing what looked to be a cosplay outfit. She had fake crystal wings on her back and looked like a 5 year old. Patchouli took off her hat and slapped Cirno with it.

 

“You attacked a helpless child!”

 

Then Cirno was knocked aside by the child. She stood up and began to stare at Patchouli with a maniacal look. She lifted her arm and positioned it so it pointed at Patchouli. The child began to walk forward.

Patchouli walked back in fear. That child wasn’t normal.

 

“Now, now. Why don’t you sit down?”

 

“K~” The child said.

 

“Cirno…” Patchouli whispered as she tried to get the attention of her partner. But the child continued to walk forward and started clenching her fist slowly.

 

“Ky~” She said.

 

Patchouli continued to walk backwards, until she hit Koakuma’s desk. She leaned back in terror. Suddenly the child’s eyes widened and a wicked smile appeared on her face.

 

“KYU~” She yelled as she clenched her fist completely. Patchouli screamed and closed her eyes at that moment.

After a while, Patchouli opened her eyes and looked at the child. She looked confused.

 

“Why didn’t it work?”

 

“Huh?” Cirno remarked

 

The child, now with an innocent look on her face looked back.

 

“The old woman was supposed to go boom!”

 

Cirno couldn’t help but laugh when she called Patchouli an old woman. Patchouli only glared at her.

 

“Why are you here?” Cirno asked.

 

“I need you to find my sister’s sex slave.”

 

Everything went silent for a bit after that.

 

Finally, Patchouli grabbed the child’s shoulder.

 

“First things, first. What’s your name, your sister’s name and the sex slave’s name?”

 

The child knocked her hand of her shoulder.

 

“My name is Flandre Scarlet, my sister’s name is Remilia and the slave’s name is Sakuya.”

 

“Interesting. You wouldn’t happen to be a part of the famous Scarlet family that lives in the mansion just outside of town?”

 

“That’s us.”

 

Cirno rushed forward and grabbed her partner. She took her into her room and locked the door behind her. Patchouli was confused but all became clear when she could see the glint in Cirno’s eyes. She figured that the case would bring them loads of money.

 

“Fine, we’ll take it.”

 

Cirno jumped into the air with joy.

 

“But, Yuyuko isn’t allowed to come anywhere near the mansion. Think about what would happen if she found their pantry.”

Then both of them shuddered. They walked into the office once more and sat down in their respective chairs.

 

“We’ll take the case.”

 

“Hurray!”

 

“Here’s a picture of Sakuya.” She handed them the picture and they both noticed that she was wearing a maid outfit. They told Flandre to go home and told her that they would start working on it in the morning.

 

They awoke early the next morning, ready to tackle the difficult case. They took their usual stroll down to the marketplace and bought their supplies. But, Patchouli was always wondering about the case.

 

“Where would a sex slave hide out?”

 

In an instant, Cirno grabbed her and pointed in the direction of a stall they had yet to go to. She was pointing at a girl wearing purple all over.

 

“Let’s question her.”

 

“Nah, she looks like an emo.”

 

“Come on. Do it, or I’ll tell everyone here about your Winnie the Pooh collection.”

 

“Fine then.”

 

Cirno ran up to the strange girl and poked her.

 

“Hey there, do you know-“

 

“About a sex slave? No!” The girl answered without even giving Cirno the time to finish her question.

 

“How did you-“ Patchouli tried to ask.

 

“Do that? I’m psychic.”

 

“Well can you-“

 

“Tell you anything about the case? Sure, but it comes at a price.”

 

The two detectives looked at each other.

 

“Okay. What’s-“

 

“The price? You have to guess my name correctly, if you cannot; I shall have the blue-haired one as my servant.”

 

“Deal!” Patchouli said, without even looking at Cirno’s depressed face. Cirno thought long and hard about the name. It had to be something ridiculous, like Larxene or maybe even Desu.

 

“It’s Satori Komeiji” Patchouli answered. The girl was startled.

 

“How did you know?”

 

Patchouli loved these moments, moments where she could brag about her smarts, although, the opportunity came often, mostly because of Cirno’s stupidity. She put on glasses, pushed them up to appear like a smartass and then removed them.

 

“It was elementary. You’re wearing a name tag.”

 

“Foiled again.”

 

“Now tell us about the case.” Cirno demanded.

 

Satori raised her arm and pointed at Patchouli.

 

“The answer’s in the bra.” Cirno took matters into her own hands then and grabbed Patchouli’s chest.

 

“Not that bra. The one in the picture.”

 

Cirno slowly took her hands off of Patchouli’s chest, only to be hit by Patchouli. Patchouli took out the picture and examined it thoroughly along with Cirno. There didn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary there.

 

“There isn’t anything there.” Cirno claimed.

 

“THE BRA HAS PADDING. GOD, I’M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!” Satori lashed out at the blue-haired girl.

 

“Padding?” They both said in unison.

 

To be Continued.

 

 

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Skuldur Newbie

Skuldur

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Epic Win!

 

I like Patchouli the most out of the characters so far.

 

 

I lol'ed at the fridge scene XD

 

I like how you alluded to TG's obsession with Claire too ^_^

 

The plot of this fic was actually created in a msn conversation between me and TG. xD

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Plaguespreader Zombie Newbie

Plaguespreader Zombie

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Epic Win!

 

I like Patchouli the most out of the characters so far.

 

 

I lol'ed at the fridge scene XD

 

I like how you alluded to TG's obsession with Claire too ^_^

 

The plot of this fic was actually created in a msn conversation between me and TG. xD

 

Which reminds me.

 

Get on MSN >=D

 

And work on Chapter two. Please. =D

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Skuldur Newbie

Skuldur

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I love you. <3

 

Great new chapter =D

 

Love ya too' date=' babe. ;D

 

 

You portrayed Rumia excellently.

 

All these boxes........I think Rumia played too much Metal Gear Solid XD

 

Yeah, lets go with that. =P

 

 

So far I like the ghost.

 

Also Box girl is completly credible' date=' if she has a palace box than anything goes.

 

Plus Mushroom people= true culprits.

[/quote']

 

LIES!

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