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Your new world - 4th Chapter is out


Cyber Altair

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More intriuging questions but probably lest specific to the plot

Why does Nexis sound so similar to Nexev?

Why is Fenir seem to be in charge of the most powerful Organization next to the Government?

When will Nexev start becoming vain enough to demand a cameo?

Why does a noob like Nexis have super powers?

Does the above question make Nexis a Mary Sue?

How long will this go on until I am labeled a over critical jerk?

Why does the recent chapter never use spoiler tags?

How is Alpha Wolf if he is not Fenir?

Will Alucard appear in the story?

Will Cyber Altair?

When did a schemer like Zexaeon become a overly muscular person?

 

Some of those questions I actually want to ask.

 

Serious about the Mary Sue thing, Nexis seems to have gained powers in 15 minutes what takes an average super non-mod member months or years to accomplish. Try to avoid this path if possible.

 

Also try not to be offended, I am overly critical, you get much more accomplished pointing out flaws than pointing out what you did right.

 

Aly, why Father Wolf? Roxas doesn't even like him, (I think) why should Roxas play second fiddle then.

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I knew people would notice how he got all powerful. You'll understand everything in the future chapters.

 

Oh and I am putting the previous chapters in spoiler so it isn't cluttered.

 

Alpha Wolf is definitely Father Wolf.

 

I'm sorry but we don't comment on speculations and rumors.

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Aly' date=' why Father Wolf? Roxas doesn't even like him, (I think) why should Roxas play second fiddle then.

[/quote']

 

Because he's one of the biggest, if not biggest, trolls in the General Section.

 

And it was stated that General was ruled by trolls.

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You need to have questions in italics Mineku.

 

Also Altair my point is why don't you do that with the new chapters as well?

 

Wait, forgot the italics.

 

Also Altair my point is why don't you do that with the new chapters as well?

 

Also Alucard, wouldn't that point be vague since Roxas still hates Wolf.

 

Also why isn't Nexis even surprised he is suddenly Mary Sue himself? He acts like he always had Mary Sue powers, he was afraid of going to the upper levels and yet defeats two legendary members as if they were nothing, then he accepts it as if he was always this powerful.

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I like chapter 2, and to some extent, chapter 3.

 

^^; But at this point, I'd rather you change that character's name from Zexaeon to something else. Sorry, but it's a bit misrepresenting of me. =o Both in real life and in the internet personas I use, I've never been a big, muscley person. I also don't care for swords. Lastly, that character seems like your typical, brawny, bumbling, idiot (especially with how he talks. I never talk like that, and hardly ever raise my voice).

 

=p So I'm fine and all, but if that's what my character is like, I'd rather not be in it. Good read,though, and it's a vast improvement from chapter 1.

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