bury the year Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 99 memories1 kingand 100 stories intersecting [spoiler=Chapter Directory][spoiler=Mini-Prologue: Dizzy Days at Last]Two figures were standing on top of the darkened room of a school. Hanging eerily in the background was the single yellow eye of the setting sun, casting its golden rays out across the land like some phantasmal net. The pair of them were dressed in neat black uniforms, consisting of long black trenchcoats and white buttoned shirts and slacks, making a picture of order. One of them was a good head shorter than the other, though, and he had to look up to address his colleague, short black hair ruffling in the evening breeze as he spoke. “Well, Longevich-san, do you really think this Game is going to be a success? It’s been a sizable time since the previous one ended, and just look at the state of things that the winner put upon us. I’m honestly quite worried that we won’t find someone to solve the problem.” “Eh, Kefar-kun, you’ve always been a worrywart. Just kick back and watch it go.” The other man carefully pulled off the shades that he was wearing, and brushed back long blond hair that fell down to at least his shoulders. His eyes were bright blue, which wasn’t odd, but what happened to be a curling, pattern-like scar slashing across his face, like claws. “Besides,” Iel Longevich continued, “it’s not like we can interfere or anything. We just deliver the stuff, and hope that we chose right. It’s not like getting involved will get us anything. “Woah, wait a sec.” There was a quizzical look on the tall man’s face, and he suddenly felt an extra weight haning off his side. “Speaking of choosing,” he said surprised, reaching into his pocket, “it seems like I’ve got another Contract to deliver.” Pulling out the hand, he revealed a small, yet thickly-wrapped paper scroll that obviously wasn’t there before. Hanging off of it was a wooden tag that tied the scroll together, with four neatly-printed kanji on it. After studying the tag, Iel flipped it over, gave an exclamatory sigh, and began to walk towards the edge of the roof. “Sorry, Kefar-kun, but it looks like I’ll have to cut our little conversation short tonight. Same time tomorrow?” Stuffing the scroll into his pocket again, the blond man pulled a cigarette out, which seemingly lit itself, and sucked in on the cancer stick, blowing out a puff of smoke. Stepping off of the edge of the roof, Iel began to walk on the air like it was a ramp, and slowly descended towards the dirt lot in front of the school, coat flapping behind him. “Uh, yeah, Longevich-san. Same time tomorrow.” Watching the taller man touch ground and begin to walk forward, Kefar sat down, and waited until Iel disappeared behind a nearby building, out of sight. Once he was gone, the black-haired got back up, and started to pace. 'Man, being an Enforcer sure is hard on ya... It’s better than the alternative, though. I hate it when Longevich-san uses my first name, though. Ah, well.' Chuckling at himself, as if there was an unseen joke between he and himself, Kefar stretched, giving a pronounced yawn. “Ah, well. Better get back to my apartment.” With that, the Enforcer walked off the edge of the building’s roof as well, and took the same path as his superior, walking away from the empty school. A light breeze blew over the now-abandoned roof. It was peaceful, for now. However, as the sun sets and rises again, noise would eventually return to its halls. Unlike normally, though, this wouldn’t be the average sort. As Iel Longevich and Kefar Assurma both knew, the Game of 99 would start once again. This time, however, the stakes were much higher than ever before. [spoiler=Chapter 1: Tatsuma Kirisaki and the Contract]link .For the convenience of our Western readers, all names will be given family-last. Strike that, Eastern order will be used in speech, and Western will be used in narration. Chapters should be up once every 2 weeks or so, but if not, don't nag me. I do have a life offline. PS: The Enforcers are not responsible for you losing The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted May 23, 2009 Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 I like. Also, lol at cancer stick ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted May 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2009 I like. Also' date=' lol at Caner stick ;D[/quote'] Well, it's not like I condone smoking. Iel is definitely going to have a smoker cough later on. *adds PG-13 label* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelsthla-Mental Posted May 24, 2009 Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 Hmm... Not too sure what this 'game' will entail, but by the sound of preferring to enforce it, sounds like it will be combat. To the death perhaps. It kinda sounds like with the 100 stories it may have quite a few people in it. Perhaps we'll have the story from the point of view of one of the next ones to die, then shift it? ...Oh, I'll wait until the next chapter. Wish you luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted May 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2009 Hmm... Not too sure what this 'game' will entail' date=' but by the sound of preferring to enforce it, sounds like it will be combat. To the death perhaps. It kinda sounds like with the 100 stories it may have quite a few people in it. Perhaps we'll have the story from the point of view of one of the next ones to die, then shift it? ...Oh, I'll wait until the next chapter. Wish you luck![/quote'] Naw, that's a misnomer. The game is focusing on, what, 6 people specifically? I'm too lazy to think up of 100 people. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted May 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 BLOMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harhar Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Damn, you got me so excited in just one prologue <.<Can't wait for the first chapter =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KageKatana Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 This is cool, I cant wait to see what this "game" is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ixigo Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 You asked, and I delivered. To begin with, the premise is intriguing. I can already predict a Battle Royale / Gantz / Psyren type of plot going on, except the machinations behind it being less vulgar than Battle Royale, and less obscure than Gantz or even Psyren. Since at least Battle Royale and Gantz belong to my top-10 manga list, I am satisfied. I'm a sucker for 'that' kind of story. What I do not understand is why you people intend on making your prologues short. What you have up there is a scene, not a prologue, that specifically and intentionally narrates an obscure incident none of us can relate to in order to give us an idea about the story and hint to that important element behind it before it is actually introduced. That is all nice and dandy as a 'catcher' abstract in a magazine, but it'd be nice to see it not used in the prologue for once. If you ask me, it'd be much better if you skipped the prologue entirely, casually went through introducing your protagonists in the first chapter along with some hints as to the adventure we will follow them through, and began throwing the main plot at us on chapter two. Not saying that your structure is flat-out bad, but it feels like a lure for readers, some of whom would probably rather skip that part until later in the story, when they already have a decent comprehension of the premise. Simply put, I am disagreeing with your priorities. I know it might seem contradictory advice compared to that I gave you in your last story, but it really is not - it was a different issue altogether with that, and it needed to be artificially sped up because of the inherent 'lagging', while this one doesn't exhibit a necessity for rush. Rambling aside, like I said, I'm still more or less happy with it. A few noteworthy issues would be the 'shrugging off' syndrome, where you just skip over a peculiar situation (a man walking on air) and expect us to accept it under the whole mysterious perspective. Until something establishes such a power as possible, it should be viewed as extraordinary and described as such. Furthermore, I don't see why foreign people should adhere to the Japanese style of speaking even if talking to japanese people. The whole suffix theme seems to be rather peculiar, since definitely one and perhaps neither of the pair is japanese (or explicitly stated as one). Without the relevant information, it simply feels out of place. This is all from a critical perspective, of course, and a first, casual read skipped through most of the aforementioned issues. But I felt they were worth pointing out in case you wanted to take that extra step, if just for the personal satisfaction one can extract from improvement. This is a high-quality piece of writing with excellent style of narration and description. Keep up the effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted May 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Well, Ixy, thanks tons for the review. I'm glad that you took the time to go so in-depth with your constructive criticism, so I'll just try to clear up and clarify some of your points. You asked' date=' and I delivered. To begin with, the premise is intriguing. I can already predict a Battle Royale / Gantz / Psyren type of plot going on, except the machinations behind it being less vulgar than Battle Royale, and less obscure than Gantz or even Psyren. Since at least Battle Royale and Gantz belong to my top-10 manga list, I am satisfied. I'm a sucker for 'that' kind of story. [b']There will be far less violence than in Gantz, though. This is a kid's site.[/b] What I do not understand is why you people intend on making your prologues short. What you have up there is a scene, not a prologue, that specifically and intentionally narrates an obscure incident none of us can relate to in order to give us an idea about the story and hint to that important element behind it before it is actually introduced. That is all nice and dandy as a 'catcher' abstract in a magazine, but it'd be nice to see it not used in the prologue for once. If you ask me, it'd be much better if you skipped the prologue entirely, casually went through introducing your protagonists in the first chapter along with some hints as to the adventure we will follow them through, and began throwing the main plot at us on chapter two. Not saying that your structure is flat-out bad, but it feels like a lure for readers, some of whom would probably rather skip that part until later in the story, when they already have a decent comprehension of the premise. Simply put, I am disagreeing with your priorities. I know it might seem contradictory advice compared to that I gave you in your last story, but it really is not - it was a different issue altogether with that, and it needed to be artificially sped up because of the inherent 'lagging', while this one doesn't exhibit a necessity for rush. Honestly, I was considering leaving this little prologue out entirely, for the reason that I had just came up with the idea of posting it last night, and had buzzed through it in about 2 hours while on a spark of inspiration. I was intentionally trying to lure people in, because I needed a quick setup to the story before I introduce the main characters. Sorry if it might have seemed out of place chronologically, but I really needed to post so it can make sense of the next chapter, which will dive into the plot without any delay. If you want, consider this a part of the first chapter, which hasn't been posted yet. Rambling aside, like I said, I'm still more or less happy with it. A few noteworthy issues would be the 'shrugging off' syndrome, where you just skip over a peculiar situation (a man walking on air) and expect us to accept it under the whole mysterious perspective. Until something establishes such a power as possible, it should be viewed as extraordinary and described as such. Furthermore, I don't see why foreign people should adhere to the Japanese style of speaking even if talking to japanese people. The whole suffix theme seems to be rather peculiar, since definitely one and perhaps neither of the pair is japanese (or explicitly stated as one). Without the relevant information, it simply feels out of place. I'll answer this as best as I can. These two aren't exactly human, as you might have been able to infer. The best analogy I have for them is as 'actors', and they're just getting into character. Any more, however, will ruin their role in the overall scheme of things, so mum's the word for now. This is all from a critical perspective, of course, and a first, casual read skipped through most of the aforementioned issues. But I felt they were worth pointing out in case you wanted to take that extra step, if just for the personal satisfaction one can extract from improvement. This is a high-quality piece of writing with excellent style of narration and description. Keep up the effort. Love you too. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ixigo Posted May 25, 2009 Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 There will be far less violence than in Gantz' date=' though. This is a kid's site.[/i'] I guess that's fine, too. Though the amount of violence in Gantz is really just godified. There isn't really that much gore or explicit themes, the most is stacked up in the early parts. Compared to stuff like Battle Royale, there just isn't any competition. Honestly' date=' I was considering leaving this little prologue out entirely, for the reason that I had just came up with the idea of posting it last night, and had buzzed through it in about 2 hours while on a spark of inspiration. I was intentionally trying to lure people in, because I needed a quick setup to the story before I introduce the main characters. Sorry if it might have seemed out of place chronologically, but I really needed to post so it can make sense of the next chapter, which will dive into the plot without any delay. If you want, consider this a part of the first chapter, which hasn't been posted yet.[/b'] Well I have a tendency to... read what I read, and interpret it as such. I understand that it might be tempting to throw what you have out there as soon as you write it, but I can't really align myself to that style. It still falls within the bounds of personal preference, though. I'll answer this as best as I can. These two aren't exactly human' date=' as you might have been able to infer. The best analogy I have for them is as 'actors', and they're just getting into character. Any more, however, will ruin their role in the overall scheme of things, so mum's the word for now.[/b'] You've kind of missed the point here. To me, as the external reader, some things are already clear. But from an in-universe perspective, you can't just go around and say "hey, those guys can fly and stuff" without actually giving a hint as to the differentiation between your story's reality and our reality. If you wanted to go there, you should have at least mentioned that much. Maybe not in an exaggerated "A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" introduction, but to accept their illogical actions, we must first learn that human logic does not apply to them. Not how, not why, not to what extent. Just... learn it, or more appropriately, read it (this is very important, as a reader's knowledge is strictly limited by what he reads in the story itself. Not what he knows about it from other factors, but what he reads in it. Remember that), as a fact. The way it was presented was the exact reverse - extrapolating the concept from the effect can be a good technique some times, but if you're struck with it first thing off, it's kind of iffy. To dumb the above rant down, a simple "whatever those two men were, they clearly were outside the realm of what one can name human" or something to that extent would have sufficed. Alternatively, it can be understandable that you do not want to give even that basic piece of information away yet (which I guess is not the case, since you kind of revealed it in your post already). In that case, you are free to do just as you did, BUT, then, if the universe is examined from a logical scope, then everything within must be viewed under the same perspective. As an author, you bypassed the irregularity completely, overseeing the fact that it does not belong within the set of rules that apply to our regular senses. Having not explicitly discarded that set of rules, an appropriate reaciton must be presented to something that defies them. It's sort of like beginning a story in a conventional way, then saying "a massive spaceship flew over ancient Athens, a few aliens walking on board and observing the crowd below", just less extreme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted May 25, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2009 Eh, maybe it's just the way I like to do stuff. When I did another offsite fic in a manner which resembles what you suggested, it didn't exactly work for me. Besides, the way I've started to write has a habit of leaving stuff unresolved until need be. They aren't supposed to be comprehended right away. Thanks for the critique, tho. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted May 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Bump. Chapter will be up this weekend. I promise. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted May 31, 2009 Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 Good. Just remember your life is on the line if you break this promise. Specifically this line *holds up a piece of string* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted May 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2009 Good. Just remember your life is on the line if you break this promise. Specifically this line *holds up a piece of string* *string breaks* Next weekend; I have finals, and I need to study. D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted June 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 Just so I don't forget about this, BUMP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted June 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 [spoiler=Chapter 1: Tatsuma Kirisaki and the Contract / Dreams Will Never Hurt You]‘I’m seriously laughing right now. Just how ridiculous was that? Urgh, whatever. It’s just a dream, right? Dreams can’t hurt you.’ Chapter 1: Tatsuma Kirisaki and the Contract / Dreams Will Never Hurt YouIt was a small room, really. There was a desk, with a lamp on it, currently off. Stacked on it were assorted papers, each with various drawings on it. From the state of them, they weren’t very organized; some of them were all folded on top of each other, and others looked like they were going to do a triple-axle onto the floor. Faint rays of light faded in through the slats of the blinds pulled shut over a pair of windows, one on each of two walls. However, for some reason, these windows must’ve been put there to specifically wake up the occupant of the room whenever he was running late. Which was quite often. “Bwah...” The indeterminately-large lump buried under a futon shuddered for a second, and raised its head. “I hate Mondays, I really do.” Rubbing his still-closed eyes, Tatsuma Kirisaki pulled his hands out from under the mass of sheets, and yanked them into the air, giving a loud crackling yawn as he went. Obviously, he wasn’t a morning person, but then again, what 15-year-old was? It’s just a fact of life. “I ask myself again, why did I stay up that late last night? Oh, well. Live and learn.” Throwing off the rest of his covers, Tatsuma groggily stood up, and stifling another incoming yawn, walked over to the door of his room, which was now almost-partially illuminated from the coming day. Fumbling with the knob for a second, he finally realized that he was turning it the wrong way, and correcting this mistake, swung it open, only slightly cringing when it hit the wall with a “bang!” Stumbling down the small hallway, the teen took a second to look over to his left, at another room; bigger than the one before, but still somewhat small. Whoever was supposed to be in there was obviously not, for the bed and its sheets were in a state of total disarray. ‘Okay, so Mom’s up... Joy.’ The door he wanted was right across the hall, though, so Tatsuma didn’t dally, and opened it, walking in to face a mirror set above the sink. Taking a second to inspect his appearance, Tatsuma gave a small grin of satisfaction. He did feel that he looked nice, in his defense. With reddish-brown hair that hung down straight, but messily, as if it hadn’t gotten a good comb recently, he looked almost foreign. This fact was only compounded by a pair of green eyes, which seemed to reflect dully in the gleam of the mirror. His body was still stuck in that awkward stage of puberty, skinny but without a ton of development. The only real noticeable thing could be in his upper body; there was some muscle there, but not much anywhere else. Overall, Tatsuma could look better, but only if he took the time to practice the holy law of personal hygiene. ‘Well, Tatsuma, this is the day. Sunday’s over, and Monday’s here.’ Spinning the handle of the sink, the tired teen watched as a rivulet of water poured out. Dipping his hands under the stream, he threw the water into his face, sighing as he did so. “Ah, that’s better.” Pulling a nearby towel of its rack, he rubbed it over his face, and when it was pulled away, a visible spark returned to Tatsuma’s eyes. “Now, just need to get dressed.” Dashing back into his room with a spring that wasn’t previously there, the only thing that was on Tatsuma’s mind was how fast he could get his clothes on. He was roaring to go, after all. ----- Miuko Kirisaki was in a mood of pleased content. Dressed to the nines in a neat grey pantsuit, she shared many of the features of her son. However, her hair was much neater than Tatsuma’s was, done in a plain bobcut that was held in place with a green headband which were chosen to match her eyes. She was a business professional, working for some big company, who always put appearance as a top quality. However, that respect for personal appearance didn’t exactly rub off on Tatsuma, a thing which she regretted deeply. “Hey, Mom!” The slapping of feet against hard wood echoed throughout the small house, but Miuko brushed it off as normal. However, she winced when the slaps turned into a loud crash. ‘Can’t that kid learn to take his time?’ she thought to herself with a shake of the head, as Tatsuma entered the kitchen. There was a stark contrast to what Tatsuma’s previous energy level was compared to now. The eyes that were dulled before from an overall lack of sleep were shining with a happiness that was quite surprising, and his hair seemed to have a freshly-washed luster to it. Overall, Miuko’s son looked excited, almost perky, as if the water was a lost elixir that had only been recently discovered by man. However, his clothes’ conditions didn’t really improve; the school jacket was covered with unsightly wrinkles that any good washerwoman would cringe at, and it was hanging open, revealing an undershirt in the same condition. His pants didn’t seem to be well-pressed, either. ‘At least he’s not wearing shoes in the house, Miuko thought with a sour frown. ‘I’d have him out on his ass in a second if he did that.’ “Oh, hello, Tatsuma-kun.” Flipping her frown upside-down, she smiled sunnily at her beloved, yet infuriatingly-messy child. “What would you like for breakfast?” “Actually, Mom, I’m not too hungry right now.” Giving a sheepish grin, he stuck his hand behind his head, as if that could somehow excuse the fact that he was going to skip breakfast. “I’m pretty excited about today, for some reason.” Walking up to her progeny, hands on hips, Miuko raised her right hand as if to slap the teen for being rude. Knowing this, Tatsuma winced, but was surprised when she simply put it against his forehead, a slight smile twisted across her face. “Well, this is a first. Kirisaki Tatsuma skipping his breakfast? I’m quite surprised of you, young man. I thought you were a ‘growing boy.’” Giving a knowing chuckle, she removed the hand from his forehead, and kissed him slightly. “You have a good day, and don’t screw anything up, you hear?” Rolling his eyes slightly, as any teen would, Tatsuma nodded. “Yes, Mom.” Pulling the last note out for extra emphasis, he returned the kiss to his mother’s cheek, and ran down a small set of steps to a short hall where his shoes were located, and slipped his feet in with a practiced motion that had been done countless times, each one degrading the quality of the shoes a bit more. Pulling the latch on the door, he turned around to wave to Miuko, a smile on his face. “Bye, Mom! See you tonight!” With that, he was off, an excited blur of energy and eagerness to get to school. “See you, Tatsuma-kun.” Sighing out, as if she had repressed a breath for too long, Miuko turned to the small counter which overlooked the house’s living area. It was rather depleted of furniture, with a small table, cushions, and a TV being the main attraction. However, her attention was focused on none of those places, but on a shelf set to the right of the TV, set rather high up on the wall. On top of the shelf were two boxes, each one made out of a rich dark wood. Standing in front of the boxes, seemingly bolted on, were a pair of picture frames, one to each. The pictures depicted two individuals, one who looked like a slightly-older version of Tatsuma with shorter hair, and the other with much darker, near black hair and a goatee. ‘Don’t screw up.’ The words echoed silently throughout the house, their presence being made without a sound. ----- Shion Ogino was unusually tired today. There wasn’t any particular reason for why she was; it was just her. ‘There must be something in the air,’ she thought, ‘because I’m definitely not the only one with it.’ Indeed, as she looked around the classroom, Shion saw too many of her fellow students yawning and trying to cover up said yawns. There were even a few whose heads were drooped down onto their desks, like sunflowers on a rainy day. “Well, it is to be expected,” came a swift sigh from her parted mouth. Pulling on one of the two long black ponytails hanging at the nape of her neck in a fit of pure boredom, she moved a strand into her mouth and began to chew contentedly. However, there was one thing that was nagging her to no end. “When the heck is the teacher going to arrive?” For some reason, Nakamura-sensei, who was normally as reliable as a clock, was always one of the first ones to arrive at the small classroom, tucked within a corner of Ashizuka Junior High. The second-year teacher wasn’t there, though, which definitely struck a chord amongst the rest of the schoolchildren. However, everyone started to rustle awake, Shion included, when a clattering noise could be heard from behind the closed room door. “Is it Nakamura-san?” Unknowingly uttering this last remark out loud, she clamped her hand over her mouth, hoping that no-one could see the interest that she expressed from behind her shield of indifference. When the door slammed open, though, Shion’s mouth dropped down slightly. ‘Oh great…’ It was Tatsuma Kirisaki, probably the last person the girl wanted to see reflected in her brown eyes. ‘The kid’s a few short of a whole,’ she thought to herself with a deep exhaling breath. His hair was always messy, the just-rolled-out-of-bed kind, and there was nearly always a stupid grin on his face, as if he was trying to hide an equally-stupid thing that he had done. Looking around nervously like a scared rat, the teen quickly bowed to the others in the room in apology, and slunk over to his seat in the back corner of the classroom. There was something that was odd about Tatsuma’s timing, but Shion couldn’t put her finger on it. “Oh, yeah.” There was a sudden realization in the air. ‘Kirisaki-kun’s always the last one to arrive, usually even after the teacher. So, if he’s here, and Nakamura-sensei isn’t...’ “Then Nakamura-sensei’s dead!” This last exclamation came with a fist-pound to her desk, causing at least three other students around her to jump nervously. “No, wait, that’s not it...” Dropping her head back onto the desk in defeat, she didn’t notice Tatsuma sneak up behind her, intent on something. “Hi, Ogino-san.” Giving a faint grin, the teen was trying to ask Shion a question about something. However, what he didn’t expect was for her to turn around, shocked, and slap him hard across the face, sending him flying backwards. “Why the heck were you jumping up behind me like that for?!” A pissed expression crossed her face as she advanced upon Tatsuma, a venomous aura seemingly radiating from her. “Can’t you remember not to bother me like that? It really isn’t that hard, you know!” Without waiting for an answer, she spun around on one heel with a ‘humph!’ and returned to her seat, not even letting the teen to get his head on metaphorically straight. “Well, hello then. I just wanted to ask you a-” And once again Tatsuma was interrupted as the classroom door swung open loudly, for what seemed to be the second time that morning. However, as everyone turned to look at the new arrival, they were pleasantly surprised by who they saw. Instead of the expected Nakamura-sensei, the new character, a term that definitely could be applied to him, was standing in the doorframe, but was tall enough that his head could scrape the top with a few more inches applied. His hair was long and golden-colored, tied back in a neat ponytail behind his neck. A pair of rather intelligent blue eyes peeked out behind any loose strands, which seemed to be reflected in his manner of dress; a neat black suit that for some reason seemed like it was going to pop off of him at any moment and run away. However, his most distinctive feature was a set of jagged scars crossing his face, each one rather short and inconsequential alone, but together added up to a somewhat-intimidating image. Giving a slight smile and bow to excuse his absence, the man walked up to the blackboard at the front of the room, picked up a piece of chalk, and swiftly wrote four kanji on the slate in neat lettering. Turning around, he then addressed the class. “Hello, everyone,” he started slowly. “My name is Tateshina Yuichi, and due to your former teacher’s unexpected resignation, I have been given the delightful opportunity to teach you all for the remainder of this year.” A swift glimmer of remembrance flew across his eyes, and as the rest of the class watched in a combination of curiosity and awe, Iel cleared his throat and continued to speak. “Ah, and before I forget, I request that Kirisaki Tatsuma see me after school today for a minute.” ----- Nervously fiddling with his fingers and looking at the floor, Tatsuma waited with a mix of impatience and stomach acid. He had no clue why the bizarre new teacher wanted to see him. ‘I definitely should’ve not forgotten to bring my lucky ball this morning, he thought dejectedly. Glancing upwards for a moment, he could only see the head of the new supposedly-substitute teacher bent close over the teacher’s desk at the front of the room, correcting a few last-minute papers. While he did this, the teen drifted back into the memories from earlier in the day, trying to remember what others had seemed to think of him. “Who, Tateshina-sensei?” Nodding swiftly, Tatsuma looked on as a short-haired girl in a school uniform finish her bite of onigiri before continuing her response. “I think he’s pretty cool. Nobody seemed to not be interested in the lessons today, and he actually managed to make it interesting. Plus,” she continued with a dreamy-eyed stare into space, “he’s really awesome-looking. Especially with that hair.’ The girl didn’t realize that Tatsuma was still there during her soliloquy, though, and when she did, she shooed the teen off with a brisk, “Go!” “Oh, yeah, Tateshina-sensei’s amazing! I can’t wait for tomorrow!” A boy with short hair had excitedly exclaimed this while running down the hall. “I wish I didn’t have to go to the bathroom, in fact! I just wanna stay in there!” “Tateshina-sensei’s awesome!” “He’s better than boring old Nakamura-sensei!” “I wanna marry him!” Trying to erase the mental image of the fat girl who said that with a grimace and a shake of the head, the teen had come to a conclusion. ‘Everyone really likes him, it seems.’ Sighing quickly, he was interrupted by a cough from the blond-haired teacher, which indicated for him to raise his head and talk to him. “Yes, Tateshina-sensei?” “Oh, hello, Kirisaki-kun.” Smiling quickly, the teacher quickly pulled his chair over to Tatsuma, so they were closer to each other. “I just had a message to give to you, or more like where to find it.” “Um, sure, Tateshina-sensei.” The messy teen was puzzled. ‘What does he mean by that?’ “Lessee...” As if trying to remember something, Iel Longevich tapped his finger to his chin, before realizing what to say. “Oh, yeah! Check your desk when you get home. There should be a small paper scroll. Read it, but don’t tell anyone else. Understand?” Getting up out of his chair, he stood, ruffled the standing Tatsuma’s hair, and walked out of the classroom into the hall. As he continued down it, a single phrase could be heard echoing off the walls. “Good.” ----- Yanking his key out of the pocket of his school uniform pants, Tatsuma Kirisaki quickly shoved it into the door of his house, thoughts racing through his head as he turned it. ‘How the hell does Tateshina-sensei know I even have a desk at home? What’s more important, what the heck does he mean by that scroll?’ Slipping his shoes off in the small foyer, he dashed inside, banking around the kitchen until he came to a set of stairs, Running up them with the determination of Rocky, Tatsuma sped to his door, but almost as if someone grabbed his ankles, he stopped short. ‘What happens if it’s not there? I’ll just be getting myself worked up for nothing. Okay, on the count of three. Three, two...’ Throwing his hand on the doorknob and spinning it in one fluid motion, the teen swung open the door. Even from across the room, he could see the object that Iel had so ominously predicted. A small cream-colored scroll sat on the desk, boud with a tight ribbon and a wooden tag. The writing on the tag could only be for one person, and as Tatsuma crossed the room, he could see for whom. “Kirisaki Tatsuma. Just great.” Crossing the room in a few quick steps, he approached the scroll, fingers twitching with anticipation. “Okay, Tatsuma, let’s do it.” Gripping the paper in both hands, he pulled on the tag, and it neatly came undone, revealing the text within. [align=center]welcome to theGAME OF 99[/align] “Heh?” Unwinding the sheet a bit more, Tatsuma continued to read. if you are reading this, you have been selected as a candidate for the “game of 99,” an event held every century or so where fame and glory can be won by the single winner! “Okay, so how do I play?” the rules are easy, silly! just knock everyone else out! if you do... The last words were cut off, so Tatsuma had to roll down further. What he saw though made him immediately think that this was a prank. ...you can have any one desire granted, even if it would require the rewriting of the universe to do so. “The heck?” Throwing the paper down in disgust, the teen walked away for a second, steaming in rage at getting worked up. ‘I bet my mom and Tateshina are involved in this. But...’ Turning back to behind him, he sighed, and walked back over to the discarded scroll, picking it up. “How do I join?” ‘This is stupid, I’m asking a sheet of paper...’ just sign on the line below, and you will be informed of your status in the game! Stretching the paper out to its full length, below the line of text stood a short line, with an “X” indicating the place to sign. Feeling a bit of silliness, Tatsuma reached over across the desk, and pulled a pencil out from a cup where they were sitting with their brethren. ‘I hope I’m not getting into something I can’t control.’ Decisively placing the pencil on the paper, he slowly and steadily wrote his name out, enunciating it as he went. “Kiri... Saki... Tatsu... Ma. There. Now, what do I do now?” However, Tatsuma didn’t expect what did. As his name started to glow on the paper, a fainter shine of the same color fell over the room, and the scroll seemingly extended, a new set of characters forming in black ink. thank you very much! a PROCTOR will be over to your location soon to test you and your MENASSER. have a nice day! “What the heck do you mean by a Menasser? And a Proctor?! I didn’t know this was going to be a test!” A shaking in the room caught Tatsuma short, though, and he dropped to the ground as what seemed to be a violent earthquake picked up, shaking him around and dislodging the many piles of paper into a veritable avalance. ‘Oh, c’mon! I wish I had my lucky charm...’ If Tatsuma had known better, he would’ve realized that the object he was speaking of and the object that the scroll was implying were one and the same. However, whatever the Proctor was could not be determined. As the room’s shaking intensified, there was only one thing on the boy’s mind. ‘What the hell did I get myself into? ----- to be continued I hope you enjoy the first full-length chapter of "Game of 99." ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 =O Now I see what the important item is supposed to be for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 So game of 99 and Menasser are actually the same fic. Interesting. You've got some good stuff going here. I got a bit of a 1984 flash when I read about Tateshina's arrival. :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted June 6, 2009 Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 But what of my character? I want him to have an appearance! *pout* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted June 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2009 But what of my character? I want him to have an appearance! *pout* I might introduce you soon, but don't expect something big. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kordeleski Posted June 9, 2009 Report Share Posted June 9, 2009 Man Id totally like a character in this it seems so cool just from the prologue but it kinda shifts the imppression when you get about half way through the first chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexev Posted June 10, 2009 Report Share Posted June 10, 2009 Then submit a characterhttp://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/thread-121605.htmlThere you go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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