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[Gιғтє∂] VOL1/CHA3 IS UP!


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So... you've read it, now what do you think?  

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  1. 1. So... you've read it, now what do you think?

    • IZ NAAICE!
    • Nothing special, but it's alright
    • TERRIBLE! I HOPE U GET KILLED BY A BOOK!
      0


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[IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/14vskci.jpg[/IMG]
Credit to HackerOfTheEmulator @ www.psp-mod.darkbb.com!

[spoiler=Diary]
[spoiler=30.05.09]
Chapter 3 is done!
New character added.
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=28.05.09]
Created Diary
Added Character THEMES
[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]


[spoiler=[b]Characters[/b]]
[spoiler=Lauren Creed]
NAME: Lauren Creed
AGE: 18
POWER: Pyrokinesis
PICTURE: [img]http://img100.animecharactersdatabase.com:81/uploads/thumbs/1481701569.jpg[/img]
BIO:
Lauren was born out of a love-hate marriage, her mother and father constantly arguing. When she was 5, her parents filed for a divorce, and Lauren now lives with her mother. Her mother does not have a job, and so far Lauren and her mother are deeply in debt. Lauren discovered her power when she was eight, burning a jigsaw puzzle because of her fury for not fixing it. She rejected an offer from DZ to join The Community, because she was unsure.
She has lived in fear of her power for many years, despite controlling it. She frequently goes clubbing, and drinks too much alcohol. Although she argues with her mother frequently, she loves her.
THEME: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OMTB8YwILY
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=DZ]
NAME: D. Zimmerman
AGE: 23
POWER: Teleportation
PICTURE: [img]http://img100.animecharactersdatabase.com:81/uploads/1110999909.jpg[/img]
BIO: Not much is known about DZ. His family were killed brutally, knifes plunged through their heads when DZ was 11. He discovered his power at that time, when seeing them, and wishing he could be anywhere except there, and found himself outside of the house. Since the death of his parents, he has been living with his Aunt Lucinda. DZ joined The Community at just 15, and since then has recruited and captured many people with powers to it. DZ failed to recruit Lauren to The Community.
DZ frequently refers to his power as given by God, and is greatly religious. Although he may seem cold on the outside, DZ can warm up to those later on. He hates destruction, and will do anything to stop it.
THEME: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNteP10p2U8
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Lucinda Lovewell]
NAME: Lucinda Lovewell
AGE: 57
POWER: Telepathy
PICTURE: [img]http://img100.animecharactersdatabase.com:81/images/kazenoshoujoemily/Erizabesu_Mashii.png[/img]
BIO:
Lucinda Lovewell discovered her power when she was 5, when she read her mothers mind and found out that her mother hated her. She left her mother at 7, along with her sister (DZ's mother). She had taken a significant amount of money, and looked after her sister, using her power to protect them. Later, they were approached by Roch Zimmerman, who knew of their abilities, and from then, they worked for The Community which Roch had designed. She has remained there ever since, focusing on interrogating people. When Roch Zimmerman died, she became head of The Community.
Lucinda is extremely unemotional. She has hatred for all, and holds grudges. She has mastered her power perfectly. She focuses on finding her sisters killers.
THEME: FINDING
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Kijuro Ruze]
NAME: Kijuro Mazke Ruze
AGE: 19
POWER: Chemical Emission and Infection
PICTURE: [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/hv7w61.jpg[/IMG]
BIO:
When Kijuro was born, his mother comitted suicide. He was raised in an orphanage. Kijuro discovered his power while he was in the orphanage, killing his first foster parents. When he was 11, his father adopted him. Kijuro ran away when he was 13, as his father was trying to force him to use his power, and he was caught by DZ. He has stayed in The Community ever since.
Kijuro is extremely calm and gentle. He rarely gets angry. He does not care who he kills or what he does, and forgets about them easily. He hates his father. Kijuro's power will not work unless his blood is warm enough.
THEME: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBsjJ47pfGo
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Leo Collits]
NAME: Leo Collits
AGE: 14
POWER: Electric Manipulation
PICTURE: [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/16a5g5f.jpg[/IMG]
BIO:
Leo Collits comes from a family of people with powers. They are proud of their heritage and are not afraid to use their powers. Leo discovered his power very early in his age.
Leo dislikes violence, and will try to solve things peacefully.
CREDIT TO: Nightmare Zarkus/Pragboy1
[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]

[spoiler=[b]Volume One: Discovery[/b]]
[spoiler=Chapter One: The Prison For The Powered]
The sky was a dark blue. The stars twinkled, dimmed by the mist in the air, and the moon was nowhere to be seen. Everything was still, and the streets had become lifeless. Lauren Creed slumped slowly across the pavement, dragging her feet behind her. She had short black hair which reached to her neck. She wore a tight white jacket, with a black top underneath. Her eyes were rested, and she had a strong scent of alcohol.
"Stuppid clubb..." she mumbled, her speech slurred. She continued along the pavement, and made a turn. As she did, she bumped into a man.
"Ohh!" she shouted, losing balance and falling. "Oww!"
She tried to get up, however she couldn't. Eventually she managed to regain her balance and stood up, to find the man still standing there. He had a cold stare, and had no hair. He wore a black shirt and black jeans, almost fading into the darkness behind him.
"Whaa was thaat for?!" she shouted, her voice echoing along the street. The man continued to stare with his piercing blue eyes. "Finne! I'll maake you!"
She held her hands out in front of her, and a fireball was produced. It burned bright colors, illuminating the whole pavement. The man smiled in response to this, still not moving. She released it at him. As she did, the alcohol stopped controlling her. She realised what she had done.
"Oh no..." she whispered, her eyes starting to water. "Why! Nobody was meant to know..."
She felt a heave in her stomach, and threw up on the road beside the pavement. As she turned back, she noticed the man had gone. At the end of the street, a bin was burning.
"What?" she said, looking around for him. She was scared. She started to cry. Then, she heard a sound behind her. She turned around to find the man, alive and not burning, giving her the look again.
"You're not alone," he said. His voice was low yet pleasant. "There are others. Others with abilities."
"Others?" asked Lauren, drying her tears. "I'm not alone?"
"I can teleport. You can emit fire. There are others, with even more bizzare powers." He put a hand on her shoulder. "We have a community, where we join these people. If they're a danger to humans, we put them against their will."
Lauren thought for a moment.
"A prison for people like us!" asked Lauren, horrified. She stepped back.
"No, not a prison," assured the man. "A community for people like us. I'm not forcing you into it, Lauren."
"How do you know my name?" demanded Lauren. "Have you been stalking me?"
"Lauren Creed, 16 years old. You attend Latymer School. Your parent's are divorced, and you live with your mother. You go clubbing frequently. You're afraid of spiders, and on Friday you orded a McChicken Sandwich at McDonalds..." recited the man. "I could go on. Yes, we have been keeping a close eye on you, and deemed you 'not dangerous'"
Lauren was stunned. All the information he had said was right. At last, she broke the silence.
"What about you?" asked Lauren, still recovering. "Do I get to know anything about you?"
"My name is DZ." responded DZ.
"That's it?" questioned Lauren. "Nothing else I get to know?!"
"I've already given too much information to you. And you have yet to answer my question" indicated DZ. "Will you join our community?"
Lauren thought for a while.
"I need to think..." explained Lauren. "I can't answer now, sorry."
"Maybe later then?" suggested DZ. "Goodbye, Lauren."
He faded in front of her. She was fascinated. She held her hand out where he had been standing.
"I'm not the only one!" laughed Lauren. She continued to walk home, a spring in her step.
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter Two: The Community]
DZ reappeared in a lab. The walls were white and glossy, and the room he was in was big. A woman, who had been at one of the desks, turned to look at him. They were the only ones in the room. There was silence, until eventually she spoke.
"You could have recruited her," sighed the woman. She was old, and wore a lab coat. Her voice was extremely posh. She shared DZ's intimidating stare.
"I know," admitted DZ. "But I don't force people into it. It's their own choice, is it not?"
The woman got up from the desk and walked past DZ.
"You did put the transmitter on her, though..." she queried, still walking.
"Yes, Aunt Lucinda" said DZ, as he watched his aunt pass through the door, leaving DZ alone in the lab. He walked up to the desk, and looked at two photos resting on either side. He knew the people in the photos very well.
"Mother and Father..." muttered DZ, holding both photos. He could see himself in his father, and yet he saw his piercing eyes in his mother. The day he had arrived from school to find them both dead. Police cars everywhere and relatives sobbing. It was there he had first used his power. He wished deep down that he could be away from them, and not see them like this. It was then he had found himself outside of the house, in front of his Aunt Lucinda.
DZ placed the photos back on the desk, and left the lab through the same door his aunt had left. He reached the hallway, where three paths were shown. He took the path to the right. He walked along a small white tunnel until he reached the end. He produced a card from his pocket, and slid it against a card slot. At once, the door opened. DZ walked along the pathway. On either side, there were cells containing people. Some of them threw themselves against the bars, shouting at DZ. Others stared at him coldly. He walked along, until he reached a cell at the very end. He stared at the boy inside it. His long, uncombed hair fell to his neck. Unlike everybody else, he had not noticed DZ's arrival, and was reading a book. DZ produced a key and unlocked the cell. The boy looked up and smiled. He got up and walked out, next to DZ.
"Number 1001. Kijuro Ruze," said DZ. Kijuro laughed as his name was said. DZ's expression remained blank. "You are wanted for interrogation."
"May I decline?" requested Kijuro, still smiling.
"No," responded DZ
"Of course I can't" laughed Kijuro. His voice had a hint of British in it. He also spoke rather calmly.
DZ sealed the cell, and lead DZ to the interrogation room. DZ had an ice-pack secured to both his arms and legs, and one attached to the back of his head. He sat down in a chair opposite Mrs. Lovewell. She did not seem pleased to see him.
"Number 1001, you have been brought here..." she began.
"Again, it's been said. Has my name been stripped from me to be replaced with a number. Please, my name is Kijuro Mazke Ruze. At least give me my name, do I not deserve that?" asked Kijuro, brushing his hair from his eyes. Mrs. Lovewell ignored this. She produced a photo and slid it across the desk to Kijuro. He inspected it. It was at a Tescos
"And what is this supposed to mean?" asked Kijuro, laughing.
"The man in the picture looks remarkably like your father," said Mrs. Lovewell. She gave him her stare. "Is he?"
She was reading his mind, thought Kijuro. And he couldn't use his power because there were ice bags. That left one option. He shut his eyes
Lucinda pulled back, fairly shocked.
"What is it, Lucinda?" asked DZ. "Is your power working?"
"Yes, of course..." muttered Mrs. Lovewell. "It's just that... He's flooded his mind with thoughts..."
Sure enough, Kijuro had thought of many things at once.
"I need to rest..." she gave Kijuro a dirty look, and left.
Kijuro was dragged back to the cell by DZ. He locked it, and left. Kijuro remembered the picture.
"What's he doing here..." Kijuro thought, returning to his book.
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter Three: Breakout!]
Night fell, however Kijuro had not recognised it. Glass windows in the prison had been removed long ago, and the only light came from a barred window at the end of the row of cells. Kijuro, therefore, had the most light. He was absorbed in his book, [i]The Earl's Tricks[/i]. He was distracted by somebody from the cells adjacent to him.
"Oi, Toxic!" the voice came from the stone wall to the side of him. He leant up to the wall.
"What?" asked Kijuro
"Word's come around that you're dad's alive and he's gonna bust us outta here!" hissed the man on the other side excitedly.
"Cool it, Oak" sighed Kijuro. "It's unlikely he will come here. And even if he does, I doubt he'll save half the people in here..."
"Hehehe!" laughed Oak. "Listen, he's going to save you and me! I was captured rescuing him! He owes me!"
"Yeah, whatever" said Kijuro, lying on the stone floor. He shut his eyes, however he could not sleep. His father was the one thing he was afraid of. He remembered the lab where his father had him imprisoned. Everyday, he would be injected with something, and he would feel excruitiating pain. Kijuro shut his eyes, and went to sleep.
-
Kijuro awoke. He could hear all the prisoners running, and chatting excitedly. He opened his eyes fully and saw that his cell door had been broken open. He walked out of his cell to find all of the prisoners out of their cells, swarming through the exit. He tried to push through, but he was forced back. He noticed Snake, and tapped him on the back. Snake turned around, a grin on his face.
"He came!" shouted Snake, above the noise. "You're daddy came here! The Community was useless against him!"
Kijuro looked around the cell passageway. It was stuffed with shouting prisoners, each trying to bulge through the exit.
"Snake," said Kijuro. "Remove these ice packs from me."
Snake laughed, and removed all of the bags from Kijuro. Meanwhile, the line to the exit had shortened, and Kijuro and Snake remained.
Snake ran through, until he reached the door that reached outside. Kijuro followed, however he was deep in thought.
"Snake, go on ahead." said Kijuro. "I have business to take care of."
"See ya!" shouted Snake, laughing as he ran through the doors. Kijuro walked through The Community's base until he reached a small study. It was plain, white walls and a desk at the end. There stood DZ and Lucinda. DZ was holding Lucinda, who looked horrified. They had not noticed his arrival until he talked.
"You have imprisoned me with no free will for 5 years..." said Kijuro, walking towards them. DZ immediately jumped in front of his aunt to defend her. "Me and my father rarely share the same views, but this is the exception. We both want to bring an end to The Community."
He was face to face with DZ. At once, he placed his palm into DZ's head. His palm turned a deep red, and suddenly DZ fell to the floor panting and coughing up blood. DZ glared at Kijuro, however his eyesight was blurry.
"You monster..." uttered DZ. "What have you done to me?"
"Yuraed" laughed Kijuro. "A poison that runs through the brain. It will put you through immense pain before killing you. It can be found in some trees."
He spoke as if reading from a book. Then he turned to Lucinda, who was shivering.
"I'm not going to waste the time giving you pain. You're dead, woman." He placed his hand on her. She screamed and fell to the floor, chalk white and lifeless.
"NO..." screamed DZ, trying to crawl to her.
"How pitiful" laughed Kijuro, as DZ fell unconscious. He walked out of the building calmly, and saw one of his father's henchman waiting for him.
"You're father expects you" he said blankly.
Kijuro walked up to him and poisoned him. The man tried to take his gun out however it was too late. He fell to the floor, dead. Kijuro took his gun.
-
A boy walked along the pavement. He wore a school uniform, his tie done up neatly to the neck. He had brown eyes and layered grey-yellow hair that swayed in the breeze. On the other end of the street, a group of boys were walking towards him.
[i]Oh no...[/i] thought the boy. [i]Stay calm...[/i]
He tried to remove his tie, however the group of boys had already recognised him. They pinned him to the floor.
"Nice one, Big C!" cheered one of the boys.
"Well well well..." said Big C, staring at the boy. "A Latymer school pupil? We don't like Latymers, do we?"
The boy got up, and tried to walk away, however Big C pushed him into the mud. The other boys got into hysterics. They left him, face down in the muddy puddle. He got up and tried to wipe off what he could. His phone had fell in the puddle. The boy checked nobody was looking, and placed his hand on the phone. A jet of white light passed through the phone, and it worked at once. He placed it back in his pocket, and walked to the school, to find the late monitor at the front door.
"It's Leo, isn't it?" asked the Late monitor, writing his name into the note book.
"Yes..." sighed Leo.
"That's your second lateness this week! One more and its a detention! I would mark you down for filthy uniform, however I'm pretty sure I know what happened" said the Late monitor. "Get in"
Leo ran into the school, and bumped into a group of girls in the corridor.
"Sorry!" he panted, getting up.
"Ouch!" said one of the girls, Lauren Creed. "Seriously, watch where you're going!"
"Cool it, Lauren!" said another girl. "Sorry, kid. She's got a hangover." She winked at him, and the girls walked off.
Leo continued to run along the hallway until he reached his classroom.
-
Kijuro awoke in a bed. He immediately jumped up, and checked the room he was in. It had several pictures of two lovers in an embrace. The room was generally pink and fairly large.
"What am I doing here..." said Kijuro. He had a bad headache and couldn't remember what he had done. He walked out of the bedroom, and tripped over something. He got up, brushed himself, and checked what he had tripped over. Lifeless eyes from a corpse stared back at him. The body of the man was pale, and he had an expression of shock on his face. Kijuro remembered everything.
"After I left The Community..." said Kijuro, examining the body. "I killed this man and took his house."
He left the body where it was, and headed for the staircase. As he did, he heard a noise. Somebody was about to enter the house. Kijuro silently crept down the staircase, in front of the door. He held the gun he had taken out at the door.
"Honey, I'm ho..." said a woman walking through the door. She froze. Kijuro fired, the gun vibrating violently in his hand as he did. The woman raised her hand, and a jet of ice flew out at the bullet, stopping it. Kijuro was shocked. She them aimed her hands at him, and ice flew out towards Kijuro.
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter Four: Revenge]
[b]Airing on 06.06.09![/b]
[spoiler=Possible Plots]
-New character, suggested by Pragboy1!
-
[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]
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likke it hun!

xxx

 

Thanks' date=' Elsa!

 

It looks good, though your Writing Style is kind of Scripted Format, even though it's not. I like it that way, it's easier to read.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself! =)

Thanks for reading, dude!

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[align=center]

Pretty damn good.

Sorry for not commenting earlier' date=' been a bit busy.

Really like it, also I think Chapter two should include Lauren and DZ in 'The Community'...

[/align']

 

Thanks, DA =)

I like the idea!

Also, Lauren and another character are gonna 'get it on' ;)

And congrats on 100 pages on ur RP!

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I think someone who's scared to fight would work better.

 

hmm...

ok =)

 

A somewhat generic story. But you can definitely go somewhere original with it!

 

Already some interesting things going on... Gathering them all in one place just seems to be asking for something...

 

Anyway' date=' looks good!

[/quote']

 

Thank you, Aelsthla-Mental =)

Trust me, I'll make this as original as I can!

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Wow' date=' not bad.

Needs a completely broken character that never fights though

[/quote']

 

Thanks Zarkus =)

Somebody peaceful? Or somebody afraid of fighting?

Preferably a gentle giant type character

great idea =)

im working on his profile now =]

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Guest Lily

*Votes Terrible! I hope you get killed by a book*

Lol jk jk. I really like them. Just 2 more days until the long awaited 3rd Part comes out! YES!

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