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Y.C.Manga - PG-16


Zexaeon

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Clair looked to him. "Actually, yeah, you haven;t really elaborate don that."

 

Slight errors there, nothing special, just thought I'd point them out.

 

So transparency was the key... But how was the magic required for that concealed? Is it just concealing doesn't even leave a magic trail?

 

Anyway, brilliant. Forced suicide was a nice touch (why do they even bother with those red shirts LOL) and combat!

 

Looks pretty good, this chapter has shown a lot (if not all) of the plot, short of plot twists :).

 

Well, good luck!

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Ah, yes, sorry for the typos. I have a bad habit of accidentally hitting keys right next to one another (such as ; and ') without noticing. And sometimes I'll get ahead of myself and press the space bar too quickly without realizing it. Problem is, my processor doesn't always catch those errors (especially seeing as how elaborate and don are both words, and it didn't realize I meant elaborated on).

 

^^ Thank you for your feedback.

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First things first, under the definition of zexism, should be epic, win, ycmanga, and fan fic king. I enjoyed this chapter the most, as it was lengthy for a fan fic, it was very detailed and portrayed characters as they should be. Some grammar errors can be understood, as it must have taken awhile to type. You have been around for awhile and hve gotten to understand the personas of most members here, especially with the organization. So, in honor of your win, cheers *raises SPARKLING CIDER* much better and hopes for more future wins...

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Agreed, but that just proves the twisted in you my twisted freind... Let's not get off topic here...

 

What will Clari be able to do?

 

That is another question just dying inside me...

 

If she is leader [technically, org XIII is like roxas as king, important but... Clari is like queen, very powerful but not the official leader, and Zexy is like bishop, right besides the two. The org XIII higher ups are all like rooks and knights, and the heartless/nobodies, enough said...]

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