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Yu-Gi-Oh!: Days of the Black Apple [The Weaver, Part 2]


Saiba Aisu

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Thanks for the comment, Deja. Yeah, it's been rather difficult, finding the time and motivation to force myself to write again...

 

And what deck would that be? I don't think I've discussed it with you, so it'd be interesting to see your guess. As to the cliches, it would be lovely if you could point them out to me. Apart from the chauffeur, they seem to have slipped through the cracks, and cliches bother me. Thanks very much for your opinion, and I'm looking forward to releasing the next chapter sometime soon.

 

All other comments and suggestions appreciated!

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Thanks for the comment' date=' Deja. Yeah, it's been rather difficult, finding the time and motivation to force myself to write again...

 

And what deck would that be? I don't think I've discussed it with you, so it'd be interesting to see your guess. As to the cliches, it would be lovely if you could point them out to me. Apart from the chauffeur, they seem to have slipped through the cracks, and cliches bother me. Thanks very much for your opinion, and I'm looking forward to releasing the next chapter sometime soon.

 

All other comments and suggestions appreciated!

[/quote']

 

Since you're tight with Ixy, I can imagine that you're using the same kind of deck that he used in a situation like this... :3

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It seems I picked a nice time to return here. Hmm, well, you know most of my views already from when we were discussing this chapter back in the day. I liked some of the new additions - the large shadow was a great idea. I felt slightly iffy about the manner of Seloth's speech - it seems just way too overly-wordy-Hollywood-bad-guy style. It may be intentional, because it feels aligned with her personality as well, but the unnecessary (for the scene) expansion on virtually everything she says feels rather staged. Also, you misspelled "Shir'tugal" near the end.

 

But other than that, it was as great a read as always. Maybe consider toning down Seloth's eloquent villainry a little.

 

EDIT: Damnit, Rinne, always changing your name and confusing me >_>. But I have really no idea what deck you're talking about.

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It seems I picked a nice time to return here. Hmm' date=' well, you know most of my views already from when we were discussing this chapter back in the day. I liked some of the new additions - the large shadow was a great idea. I felt slightly iffy about the manner of Seloth's speech - it seems just way too overly-wordy-Hollywood-bad-guy style. It may be intentional, because it feels aligned with her personality as well, but the unnecessary (for the scene) expansion on virtually everything she says feels rather staged. Also, you misspelled "Shir'tugal" near the end.

 

But other than that, it was as great a read as always. Maybe consider toning down Seloth's eloquent villainry a little.

 

EDIT: Damnit, Rinne, always changing your name and confusing me >_>. But I have really no idea what deck you're talking about.

[/quote']

 

Yeah, I'd like to think that the majority of this chapter was heavily discussed and edited at some point during our many detailed discussions. Yep, yep, yep - although, it's a little unfair, since you know more about Seloth than any normal reader would. As to her speech, I'm torn between relief that someone noticed my struggling, and exasperation that I couldn't correct it. She's based on another character from an anime movie in temperament, but maybe the transition wasn't the smoothest. And ahh, I can't believe I did that. *Kicks self repeatedly and then edits*

 

Rinne/Deja, I must admit I'm quite confused as well. I've created a pretty nifty Deck for Seloth, if I may say so, so I'm not sure what you're referring to. Which Deck did Ixigo use in a situation similar to this one?

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Ah, yay! Another old face back into the work of things. I've missed you guys.

 

Thanks for the comment, Daishi. Yeah, Seloth is a pretty nasty villain as far as they go, and you can expect to see her for some time. I won't spoil anything here, though! I'll do my best to work on Chapter Six this weekend.

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[spoiler=LONG POST IS LONG]It seems I picked a nice time to return here. Hmm' date=' well, you know most of my views already from when we were discussing this chapter back in the day. I liked some of the new additions - the large shadow was a great idea. I felt slightly iffy about the manner of Seloth's speech - it seems just way too overly-wordy-Hollywood-bad-guy style. It may be intentional, because it feels aligned with her personality as well, but the unnecessary (for the scene) expansion on virtually everything she says feels rather staged. Also, you misspelled "Shir'tugal" near the end.

 

But other than that, it was as great a read as always. Maybe consider toning down Seloth's eloquent villainry a little.

 

EDIT: Damnit, Rinne, always changing your name and confusing me >_>. But I have really no idea what deck you're talking about.

[/quote']

 

Yeah, I'd like to think that the majority of this chapter was heavily discussed and edited at some point during our many detailed discussions. Yep, yep, yep - although, it's a little unfair, since you know more about Seloth than any normal reader would. As to her speech, I'm torn between relief that someone noticed my struggling, and exasperation that I couldn't correct it. She's based on another character from an anime movie in temperament, but maybe the transition wasn't the smoothest. And ahh, I can't believe I did that. *Kicks self repeatedly and then edits*

 

 

Rinne/Deja, I must admit I'm quite confused as well. I've created a pretty nifty Deck for Seloth, if I may say so, so I'm not sure what you're referring to. Which Deck did Ixigo use in a situation similar to this one?

 

It was a perfume one or something like that. I can't remember exactly.

 

(And I felt like I needed a change of pace, Ixy. :3)

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  • 4 weeks later...

Whew, a whole half-hour of non-stop reading! I'm beat!

Everything was just about perfect. Seloth is truly a disgusting woman, yet she makes me think of Caroline's "Alter-ego"- Rather, she' the opposite of Caroline in almost every way, like a foil.

lt was truly a great read, and l should slap myself for not latching on to this fic earlier. >_< But hey, better late then never.

The only thing l can actually complain about is Caroline's choice of cards... I hate romance. XD

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Thanks, Dahlia, dear. That's a very sweet thing to say. xD

 

Yes, I'm glad you noticed the contrasts between Seloth and Caroline - in temperament, appearance, and decks, they're almost complete opposites. This is further set off by the contrast between some cards each possesses, such as Romanticide against Redolent Ruin.

 

Well, Caroline's Deck has been around for a while... It's actually one of my older sets from ages ago. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I hope you'll stay tuned for further updates!

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Thanks, Dahlia, dear. That's a very sweet thing to say. xD

 

Yes, I'm glad you noticed the contrasts between Seloth and Caroline - in temperament, appearance, and decks, they're almost complete opposites. This is further set off by the contrast between some cards each possesses, such as Romanticide against Redolent Ruin.

 

Well, Caroline's Deck has been around for a while... It's actually one of my older sets from ages ago. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I hope you'll stay tuned for further updates!

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Thanks, Dahlia, dear. That's a very sweet thing to say. xD

 

Yes, I'm glad you noticed the contrasts between Seloth and Caroline - in temperament, appearance, and decks, they're almost complete opposites. This is further set off by the contrast between some cards each possesses, such as Romanticide against Redolent Ruin.

 

Well, Caroline's Deck has been around for a while... It's actually one of my older sets from ages ago. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I hope you'll stay tuned for further updates!

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So l read the first chapter just now.

Daisuke seems to be your typical Yu-Gi-Oh main character, pretty optimistic and serious with dueling...

Since l only read this chapter 'technically', l can only say that this girl seems like she's going to be an asset. l find her to be quite interesting, to say the least.... But then again, l find all pretty girls 'interesting'.

It was a good chapter, but it left me wanting more... l dunno. XD

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

Write! Write! (commences beating)

 

Um, yes, this is all incredibly well put together. Seriously, I didn't think you were allowed to write a fanfic this well. I'm a little iffy about some of the cards, but I'm not really sure why...at least they're not Warrior Toolbox, right?

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  • 1 month later...

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