Wild West Bob: A Yu-Gi-Oh! Saga(12/16: Sonic Duck duels!)

[Weather Report - Stand]

THIS! Is a stupid, Yu-Gi-Oh! gag story based on all of the crap the series has thrown at us(not to say they COMPLETELY suck), along with things that are stupid and will make you laugh, hopefully. So read if you dare.

 

[spoiler=Cowboy (Chapter) One]

[align=CENTER]The Story of

WILD WEST BOB

a yu-gi-oh saga

by kendo fish and weather report

 

Cowboy One: Enter: Wild West Bob!

Fated Graveyard Match!

chapter by weather report[/align]

 

"YEEEE-HAW!!" screamed an old, bearded, crazy man. "I just panned me sum GOLD!!"

Enter West Town in a fictional 19th century Nevada. A town named West Town - oops, I just mentioned it. Well, anyways, people're now finding an alarming amount of gold in a local river. the town would be famous in a few months! And the protector of all this gold: the local sheriff, WILD WEST BOB. He used a Rock-type deck. Oh yeah. I forgot to mention: this timeline's dominated by collectible trading card games. Notably, Yu-Gi-Oh.

 

"Hm," noted Bob, on his daily trek around town, "it seems that there's something in the cemetery." He was pretty handsome; he had dusty brown hair and sincere blue eyes. He had a defined chin and some stubble on that same chin. he wore a cowboy hat, a cowboy vest, a white and dusty blue jeans. He also had cowboy boots. What a cowboy.

 

He cautiously snuck into the SPOOKY graveyard and looked for anything suspicious. Then, he found something particularly nastily evil; his arch-nemesis, ZOMBIE BILL!! That pale-skinned, purple-haired fiend king of zombies has been known for TRYING TO STEAL GOLD!!

 

"And then," he muttered softly to himself, "I'll take that guy's gold!!"

 

"It's you!" roared Bob! Bill was so startled that he almost tripped over a mossy tombstone.

 

"Gasp!! It's Bob!!" screamed Bill. "I've upgraded my zombie deck to near-invincible status!" he announced.

 

"Too bad, you stupid zombie!" laughed Bob. "After I beat you in a trading card game, you're goin' straight to jail!" In this sick, twisted reality, all fist-fights and shootouts are done through card games.

 

Both men took out their 19th century battery operated duel disks (which look exactly like those used today); Bob's was brown and tan while Bill's was purple and blue. They each took 20 paces away from each other, and stopped when they were both the same distance from an angel statue.

 

"DUEL!!"

 

Bob: 4000 Life Points

Bill: 4000 Life Points

 

"I'm goin' first," proclaimed Zombie Bill. He drew six cards, Bob five.

 

Bill smiled. "I activate

Reasoning!" A picture of a card appeared, showing a man in a turban pointing at a glowing card. "You choose any monster level, and I discard cards from the top of my deck until I draw a monster. Then, if it's not the level you selected, I can Special Summon it!"

 

"Fine then..." Bob rubbed his chin in thought. Hmm...if I chooser four, half of his monsters are dead... he thought. "I call - LEVEL FOUR!!"

 

Bill picked up one card. "Heh. I Special Summon the all-powerful

Soul-Absorbing Bone Tower!! Behold!" A skeletal bone mountain appeared.

 

"That one's new," noticed Bob.

 

"That's right. And when a zombie monster's Special Summoned to my field, notably Bone Tower, you discard the top two cards of your deck!"

 

"Tch." Bob discarded a Sand Moth and a Shield and Sword from his deck. "End?"

 

"No. I'll set a monster and end my turn."

 

A huge tower made out of bones was towering above and a sideways, upside-down card sat next to it. They floated unnervingly in front of Bob.

 

"My draw!" He drew a Legendary Jujitsu Master. Hm, he thought. I might wanna save this for later, just in case... "I set one monster one monster and end my turn." His own floating card appeared to support him.

 

"Heh. Defensive as always." Bill drew a card and studied it for a moment. “I flip up my face-down Magical Merchant!”His hidden card was revealed to be a purple, humanoid ladybug in overalls, carrying all sorts of wares. “His flip effect allows me to discard cards from my deck ‘till I draw a spell or trap!” He picked up Dark Dust Spirit, Dark Crusader, Ryu Kokki, and BOOK OF LIFE I’ll save this for later… he thought. “I add a Book of Life to my hand. Next I’ll summon – Pyramid Turtle, Attack mode!” An Egyptian turtle appeared, sporting a beard and a fancy pyramid on its back. “I won’t be letting you flip up your Golem Sentry! Attack, Pyramid Poke!!”

 

Pyramid Turtle magically flew into the air and fell upside-down onto the set monster.

 

“Heh, you attacked my MOAI INTERCEPTOR CANNONS!!” The card flipped over, pushing the turtle off, creating three Easter Island statues.

 

“Urg.” (Zombie Bill, 3200 Life Points) “It wasn’t easy…Merchant defends. End.” The ladybug went into a defensive position.

 

“Draw.” Bob smiled. “I sacrifice my Cannons to set one monster.” Another card appeared, more menacing than the first. “I’ll end my turn.”

 

Bill placed down his spell. “It’s Guardian Sphinx. You THOUGHT that I’d save you. But I’m not letting you flip ‘m up! Activate Book of Life! I Special Summon Ryu Kokki and remove Sand Moth from your graveyard and discard two cards!!” Bob put SM into his pocket and put two cards into the grave, courtesy of Bone Tower. A huge, wraith-like man made out of skulls with a beating heart at its core stared him down, seeming to laugh at him with its sharp fanged mouth hanging ajar. “Now, attack! Bone Punch!” Ryu Kokki punched the air, letting several skulls fly off of his body at the card.

 

“Flip up – Guardian Sphinx.” The card seemingly automatically transformed into a giant sphinx. “I can’t use his ability since you attacked him, and –“

 

“They both have 2400 stats,” finished Bill. “Your turn.”

 

Bob drew Acidic Downpour. “Heh, you’re going down. I tribute my Guardian Sphinx to Special Summon Exxod, Master of the Guard!” The sphinx evaporated into brilliant light, only to be replaced with a statue wearing a headdress like Exodia, and everyone knows what Exodia looks like.

 

“Woah…” gasped Bill. “But why is he in attack mode?”

 

“You’ll see! Now I set a monster and activate Shield and Sword!” All monsters glowed red and blue. “This card reverses attack and defense stats for the turn! And my Exxod has 4000 defense! And that means –“

 

“No!!”

 

“Yes!! I’ll kill your Ryu Kokki!! Stabby Staff!” Exxod exerted a grunt and poked the bony man with a giant staff that magically appeared from behind its back. Ryu Kokki looked weaker than ever, beaten by one of the world’s worst attackers.

 

“Ugh (1200)!” Bill guarded his eyes from the flash of an exploding zombie. “My turn. Your monster’s attack is ZERO!” All monsters weren’t glowing again. “Now, Pyramid Turtle, kill Exxod!!” The turtle jumped up and cleaved through Exxod with its pyramid.

 

KABLOOSH. “Uhn (2800).” Bob drew a card. He flipped up Medusa Worm. “Kill Merchant.” Medusa Worm flew over to Magical merchant and bit off his head.

 

“Ow,” he said. Then he exploded.

 

“Next I’ll remove all Rock monsters from my graveyard!”

 

“Hunh?!” asked Bill.

 

“The card I smiled at when drawing wasn’t my Sphinx. It was Megarock Dragon.”

 

“No!!” gasped Bill.

 

“Yes! Every card you forced me to discard led to your downfall! I remove Gigantes, Grave Ohja, Guardian Sphinx and Exxod!” A giant dragon covered in jagged stones appeared.

 

“GROAAAAH!!” it roared.

 

“And for every monster I removed to summon him, he gains 700 attack points! 2800!!”

 

“Oh, crap.”

 

Bob pointed to Pyramid Turtle. “Now: Giant Rock Attack!!” Megarock Dragon spat out a rock at Pyramid Turtle, causing it to explode.

 

“NOOOOOOOOO!!” (0 Life Points. Game Over) I…lost.” The monsters disappeared and the duel disks powered off.

 

“Now, to pay for your crimes in jail,” said Bob, holding up handcuffs.

 

“Oh no! I gotta get outta here!” said Bill, scrambling to get away. “Running!!!”

 

“Hey, stop, you!!” yelled Bob, running after Zombie Bill. “YOU STUPID ZOMBIEEEEE…”

 

[spoiler=Commentary]

Commentary

 

Welcome to chapter one, courtesy of me. This story came about as the most random story ever, based on Yu-Gi-Oh! It’s an obvious parody, and let’s take a look at how:

 

1-This is a random idea. This story takes place in the old west. Now, cowboys playing Japanese card games with electronic card holders? Not so far-fetched if we have a card game playing pharaoh with earth-shaking trading cards, a school dedicated to trading card games and trading card spirits or ancient Incan dragons being played on motorcycles.

 

2-The stupid situations. A sheriff plays against a zombie enthusiast and tries to arrest him. In Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, they have 30 episodes dedicated to random battles in season one, all equally dumb matches. And I remember when characters got turned into a dinosaur and a car…

 

3-Dumb monster attacks. Pyramid Poke? Dark Magic Attack pwns it, but does everyone have to have their own Pokemon attack? Meh.

 

[align=center]Please enjoy this stupid-

on-purpose story. Thank you.

 

[Today’s Featured Card:]

Exxod, Master of the Guard[/align]

 

 

[spoiler=Next Cowboy...]

NEXT COWBOY

 

Another match heats up at the local steakhouse! It’s "Wet" Willie versus Jenny the Magician! Can Jenny’s spellcasters defeat Willie’s fish, or will Willie break through her magical guards?

 

[align=center]Find out next time on Wild West Bob!

 

Cowboy Two: Showdown! Battle at Golden Stuff Steakhouse![/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

A BUMP.

[Kendo Fish]

I wrote the next chapter of this fan fiction! Please read it, people.

 

[spoiler=Cowboy Two][align=center]Cowboy Two: Showdown!

Battle at Golden Stuff Steakhouse!

chapter by kendo[/align]

 

Let's head back into West Town, into the Golden Stuff Steakhouse. It would've been a pub, but 4Kids insisted we change it.

 

Inside, a bunch of bulky, bearded men were hangin' out and eatin' steak, but one stood out..."Wet" Willie. His orange hair was slightly untidy, and his green eyes were the color of Sonic Duck. He wore a light blue coat over his shoulders and over a white shirt.

 

Willie sipped some of his root beer from a mug nearby. It would've been regular beer, but 4Kids insisted we change it. He wiped his mouth afterwards with his hand.

 

Then he spotted another person that stood out...Jenny the Magician. Jenny had reddish-purplish hair, with clear blue eyes. Similar to Magician of Faith (a little TOO similarly), she wore a short purple dress. Coincidence? Of course not,the faithful girl was one of her favorite cards.

 

Jenny ploppled down onto the stool next to Willie, saying, "Now, who wants to play a friendly card game?" She had a notably bouncy and idiotic voice.

 

"Go fish!?" shouted some guy with a beard.

 

"Of course not, I mean Yu-Gi-Oh!"

 

"What the - er - that's not a real card game, idjit!

 

Willie thought, I could win this one...beautifully!

 

"I'll play against you!" he announced.

 

"Alright!" The two pulled out their duel disks; Willie's was blue and dark blue, Jenny's purple and lavender. "Let's duel!"

 

"You'd better play this beautifully," Willie said expectantly. Now they were standing up, attracting a large audience of guys with beards drinking root beer and eating steak.

 

Willie: 4000 Life Points

Jenny: 4000 Life Points

 

Jenny revealed a coin from behind her back. "I always want to make my games fair!" She flipped the coin. As it landed on the wooden floor, a picture of Willie's head came up on it!

 

"Where'd you get that from?"

 

"I'm a magician! Now, let's draw already!" Jenny drew her five cards, while Willie drew his six.

 

"I summon Space Mambo!" the man said. As he did, a huge image of a mechanical-looking ocean sunfish appeared. It made a low moaning sound.

 

A bearded guy said, "Well, whuzzee gonna do ta her, Space Mambo Splash?"

 

The crowd laughed.

 

Ignoring them, Willie then said, "Next, I use Big Wave, Small Wave!" Holograms of crimson-red waves splashed over the field. "I get to destroy my Mambo to Special Summon a Water-attributed card from my hand!" When the waters cleared, an armored sea serpent stood in its place! "And I summon the Levia-Dragon Daedalus! How's that for a turn...beautifully?"

 

"Nothingi can't beat!" cheerily shouted Jenny. She drew another card. "I set three cards and end my turn!" Two spells or traps were set, as well as a monster.

 

"Tch! She can't beat HIM!" some guys with beards mocked.

 

"I hope not." Willie drew another card. "I set one card." Another face-down spell or trap appeared. Now to risk my serpent... "Now, Levia-Dragon, attack! Strike of Daedalus!"

 

The serpent majestically swerved over to the card and jabbed it with its pointy nose. The monster - Breaker the Magical Warrior - was destroyed.

 

So much for stalling! Jenny thought enthusiastically.

 

"Your turn, Jenny."

 

She drew a card and smiled a big Cheshire cat smile.

 

"Look at that smile, y'all!"

 

"She's really up to somethin' 'ere!" The crowd may have spoken in fear, but Willie had no worry.

 

"I activate the Dark Magic Curtain!" A blue curtain surrounded her, held by some skeleton. "For half of my Life Points, I get to summon the Daaark Muhgiciaaan!" (Jenny the Magician, 2000 Life Points) The curtain withdrew itself as the Dark Magician himself, dressed in purple, appeared before them.

 

"Ooh!"

 

"Aah!"

 

"I have a feeling he'll be the main character in an anime!"

 

"What's an anime?"

 

"But with 2500 Attack Points," another guy said, "he can't kill that dragon he's got."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Yeah!"

 

"YEAH!"

 

"I activate Torrential Tribute!" Willie activated his Trap card! "Now both of our monsters are destroyed, beautifully!" A huge explosion of light totally vaporized the dragon and the magician.

 

"Ooh!"

 

"Aah!"

 

"My eyes!" Someone started having a seizure.

 

"Poor Magician. Never had a chance."

 

"Aw..."

 

"Go orange hair!"

 

"Yeah!"

 

"Wait, the dragon could've beaten that thing!"

 

"Yeah, YEAH!"

 

"Stupid!"

 

"Shut up!" Willie was getting angry at these guys with beards.

 

"Blast it!" Jenny slapped her knee. "Looks like I'll need to develop a plan B!"

 

"My turn?" Willie drew his card in fury. Stupid decision... he thought in fury.

 

Stupid guy! Now I can't use my Mage Power! Jenny frowned.

 

"I summon the Mad Lobster!" he yelled in fury. An equally - and maybe more - furious lobster appeared, with no skin on its face. "And I attack! Mad Clobber!"

 

"Get it? Lobster...clobber?"

 

"Heh heh heh. Classic."

 

The lobster whacked Jenny on the head! Or, at least it looked like it.

 

"Uhh, ouch?" (Jenny, 300 Life Points) The hologram barely phased her...though she knew she might lose any minute now.

 

"Yyyyour turn."

 

"Woohoo!" She drew a card and immediately summoned it! "I summon the Faithful Magician!"

 

"That's Magician of Faith, ya idjit!"

 

Anyways, a girl in a bluish dress with purple hair and a cool gold staff appeared. She had a faithful expression on her face...but what for?

 

"And now," Jenny continued, "I give her Mage Powerrr!" A bunch of guys dressed in robes crowded around Magician of faith and chanted a chant. It lasted for about five seconds. then they disappeared. "And I set another card! That gives my magician a power boost of 2000 Attack and Defense Points! Attack that lobster! Faithful Blast!"

 

The magician shot some faithful energy from her staff at Mad Lobster, thus giving it the faith to blow up.

 

"Good move, Jenny." (Willie, 3400 Life Points) "But I'm not down yet!" He drew his card and set a face-down dude. "Your turn...beautifully."

 

"Weirdo!" Jenny drew her card and summoned a cool-looking magician dressed in all black with an orb on his staff. "Face the power of the Skilled Daaark Muhgiciaaan! He's worse than Dark Magician, but his name makes him sound better! Now, attack! Skilled Dark Magic Attack!"

 

The magician charged up an attack that would have been incredibly powerful had he not tripped and fallen on his face. The attack hit nonetheless! Just then, the card flipped over, and a noble penguin deflected the shot with his sword! It blasted the magicians into Jenny's hand again! Sadly, the penguin died of a heart attack.

 

"Ha! You've just attacked my Penguin Soldier!"

 

"Woah!"

 

"What a cool penguin!"

 

"He's so noble!"

 

"He's my hero!"

 

"Your turn!" Jenny said. "Stupid penguin!"

 

Willie drew a card and summoned it. "I summon the Tribe-Infecting Virus!" A microscopic amoeba appeared on the ground. If you squinted real hard, you could see it. "Attack! Tribe Infect!"

 

"But I'm not a tribe!"

 

"Too bad!" The virus leaped into Jenny's eyeball, or at least its hologram did.

 

"Aah! My eyeeiis!" (Jenny, 0 Life Points. Game Over) The hologram didn't really hurt, though...but it hurt her feelings.

 

"That means I won, beautifully!"

 

Jenny ran through the old-style doubledoors of the steakhouse. "You freak!"

 

As she did, a bearded guy said, "Hey...you did it!"

 

"Yeah!"

 

"I had my bets on you!"

 

"I had my bets on the girl!"

 

"Idjit!"

 

"Three cheers for Beautiful!"

 

"Hip hip...hooray!"

 

Willie waved to the crowd, trying to manage a smile.

 

"Hip hip...hooray!"

 

He drank the last of his root beer, laid some gold dust on the table, and passed through the doorway. Though Beautiful was a horrible nickname for a man, Willie could live with it.

 

"Hip hip...HOORAY!!!!!"

 

[spoiler=Commentary]

Commentary

 

This chapter should have been done ages ago. Why? I'm just a lazy writer. I'm doing about a bazillion other fics right now, and it's hard to get to them all. But eventually I finished this, and I hope you enjoy it.

 

Does this have anything to do with the plot? Probably not, but you'll see. How Jenny and Wet Willie are connected to Bob and Bill is easy to guess, if you think hard enough. Jenny appears again when you'd probably least expect it, though, so don't expect to see her soon. Wink wink.

 

"Nothingi" was done on purpose. Just so you know. Othe misspellings are intentional, most likely.

 

if Skilled Dark Magician is skilled, shouldn't he be stronger than dark magician? I thought I must incorporate that into the story.

 

Welp, thanks for reading this stupid story. And please, C + CC (comment, constructive criticism...).

 

[Today's Featured Card:]

Penguin Soldier

1821 - 1893

In Memoriam

 

 

[spoiler=Next Cowboy...]

NEXT COWBOY

 

For some reason, there's some weirdo trying to hold up a bank! What could Bob possibly do!? You'll never believe this one! Who exactly is this bandit!?

 

[align=center]Find out next time on Wild West Bob!

 

Cowboy Three: The Baby Bandit?! The Invincible King of Skull Servants!

 

Whoops! Now you know who it is!

[/align]

 

[legendhiro]

this is just weird, but there's something about it that i like. it funny, to say the least.

[bury the year]

This... is actually quite good. I have a soft spot for parodies, so keep up the good job!

[Weather Report - Stand]

Bump.

[Weather Report - Stand]

A BUMP.

[Weather Report - Stand]

BUMPSTER

[Skarlet]

I enjoyed this quite a while back, but are you posting more?

[Kendo Fish]

I keep forgetting to type this up! D: Yeah, we plan to do more. I just need to keep reminding my lazy self to type it. (We're on chapter 11 or 12 right now, by the way.)

[Weather Report - Stand]

We're so sorry that the story's gotten so...empty of newness, but we've been so busy with end-of-the-school-year-projects and crap. We WILL add to this tome of fear and coolness in about two weeks or sooner. Thank you for some reason.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Hooray.

[spoiler=Cowboy Three][align=center]Cowboy Three: The Baby Bandit?!

The Invincible King of Skull Servants!

chapter by weather report[/align]

 

Bob walked into the local West Town Bank and stood in a line leading to three tellers, each in a green box-like cubicle. The building, like all others in West Town, was made out of plywood. Bob looked at the guy in front of him.

“Willie!” he greeted! Willy, the man in front of him, turned around.

“Bob? Is that you? It’s been ages!” Willy replied.

“What’cha been up to lately?”

“I beat a magician at Yu-Gi-Oh. And you?”

“I-“

 

Suddenly, a small baby in a ten-gallon hat, cowboy boots and a diaper walked into the bank. He took out his baby blue and white colored duel disk.

“Y’all put yer hands up! I’m a-takin’ the muney at this ‘ere bank! Stay where ya are or else!” he threatened. “My name’s Big Bad Baby Boy, and I’m already a master at Yu-Gi-Oh and I’m twelve months old! I can talk fer Pete’s sake! And I ain’t lost to nobody!”

“Except for me!” Bob walked closer to the baby.

“Who’re you?”

“I’m Wild West Bob, the sheriff of this town. Drop your cards or else I’ll have’ta duel you.” he said.

“No way! I ain’t never lost, and I ain’t gonna lose now!” BBBB stood his ground.

“No, Bob. Leave this to me,” Willie said. “I’ll take care of him.”

“No way. I need some practice on my skills today.” He took out his duel disk.

“AAH!!” The tellers took cover under their desks. “TAKE COVER!!”

 

“DUEL!!”

(BBBB: 4000 Life Points)

(Bob: 4000 Life Points)

“I’m a-goin’ first!” Big Bad Baby Boy called. “I play Enchanted Fittin’ Room!” A weird curtain with occult demon stuff on it appeared. “When I use ‘dis card, I ‘kin pay eight hun’red Life Points to Special Summon the top four two ‘r lower normal monsters on mah deck!” He picked up two Skull Servant cards, a Human-Wave Tactics and a Fox Fire. “And now ah can Summon mah two Skull Servants in Defense Mode!” Two skeletons dressed in purple robes sat down in front of him. “I’ll Summon Dreamsprite and end mah turn.” A blue fairy with red wings and hair stood by the Skull Servants.

(BBBB: 3200 Life Points)

 

“Okay!” Bob scanned his hand. “I’ll set three cards and end my turn.” Two spells/traps and a monster were placed onto the field.

 

“Hm.” Big Bad stared at his hand. “I’ll turn mah Dreamsprite to Defense Mode. Yer turn.” The fairy turned into a defensive position.

 

“Hm. I’d better just get this game going. I play Fissure!” A hole appeared under Big Bad’s monsters.

“Oh no!” he cried!

“Oh yes! I can destroy the weakest monster on your field, and that’s Dreamsprite!” The fairy fell into the hole and exploded. Then the hole filled itself back up again. “Next I’ll flip up Sand Moth!” His face-down monster turned into a weird-looking desert behemoth with 1000 Attack Points. “Attack one of his Skull Servants! Sand Barf!” Sand Moth spat out a ball of sand at Skull Servant. It blew up. “Turn, end.”

 

Big Bad drew a card. He smiled. “Ah Summon da King a da Skull Servants-“

“I use Compulsory Evacuation Device.” Bob triggered his trap card! A newly played Skull Servant was blasted back into its owner’s hand.

“Darn it! Mah King! I’ll set a card and end mah turn!”

 

“Bob drew his next card. “I activate a field spell: Canyon!” The bank transformed into a huge desert valley. The bank tellers gasped. Willie looked around in awe.

“Beautiful card,” he remarked.

“Now, Sand Moth! Sand Barf!” The last Skull Servant was destroyed.

“Oh no! Not again!” gasped Big Bad Baby Boy. He held up his King of Skull Servants. “Psyche. Now ah-“

“Waitaminnit!!” Bob yelled!

“What?”

“I never said ‘I end my turn’.”

“Oh, ah’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I end my turn.”

 

“Ah Summon da King a da Skull Servants! In Attack Mode! Ha ha!” It was another Skull Servant, except it had a dark aura around it and looked more realistic.

“Uh, okay.”

“His ability is dat he gains 1000 Attack Points fer every Skull Servant in mah Graveyard! He has 2000 Attack!!” The spirits of the Skull Servants floated around the king.

“Oh NOOO!” cried bob!

“Oh yeah! Kill Sand Moth! Weak Attack!” The Skull Servant king ran up to Sand Moth and slapped it softly. Then it exploded!

“Bob, no!” Willy gasped.

(Bob: 3000 Life Points)

 

“Urgh.” Bob drew his newest card. “I set a monster and use Misfortune. You lose life points equal to half of your monster’s Attack.” A dude in a suit and mask hovered in front of BBBB and stared at him harshly, though his eyes were most likely covered.

“Ow!” (BBBB: 2200 Life Points)

“Turn end.”

 

“Draw!” Big Bad Baby Boy drew an Ojamagic card. “Ah set dis card! Now attack!” The skeleton king slapped the face-down card, revealed to be another Sand Moth!

“GWOAH.” It roared.

“Your king has 2000 Attack, while my Sand Moth has the same Defense.”

“Beautiful play, Bob!” said Willy!

“Ah end mah turn.”

 

“Fine! I turn Sand Moth to Attack Mode and I’ll use Shield and Sword!” The classic card of coolness appeared! “I reverse all monster stats for the turn!”

“Oh no! Mah king has 0 Defense Points!” The King of Skull Servants slumped over while Sand Moth roared with confidence!

“GWOOOOAR!!!” it bellowed!

“Now, INTENSE Sand Barf!” Bob ordered. Sand Moth spat out really fast sand which splattered all over the king’s face!

“Ow!” the skeleton said. Then he blew up. (BBBB: 200 Life Points)

“Mah Life Points!” screamed Big Bad! “But it’s not over yet! Mah turn, right?”

“Turn end.” Bob said. Then Sand Moth went back to normal and fell over.

“That was a beautiful attack, Bob! You’ll win!” Willie cheered!

 

“Ah Summon another King a da Skull Servants!!” Another servant king arose to the field…

“Can’t you use anything else?” asked Bob. “This is your FOURTH one.”

“No--ah mean, mah king gains Attack, even fer OTHER Kings a da Skull Servantses in mah Graveyard!” The Skull Servant laughed as three souls floated around him! “He has 3000 Attack! Weak Attack, kingeh!” the baby commanded!

“Ugh!” The king slapped the moth(?!), making it blow up! (Bob: 1000 Life Points)

 

“Gah!” Bob gasped, covering his face from the intense explosion. “This is gonna be the last turn exchange, just so you know. I set a monster and activate Toll.” A spell with a man giving money to a soldier stood up. “I end my turn.”

 

Big Bad didn’t care about the spell. He just drew Rocket Jumper. “You lost!” Ah Summon Rocket Jumper to da field!” A guy made out of rocks appeared with fireworks strapped onto his back. “When you only have Defense monsters, ah can Attack directly! GO!!” The fuse on the fireworks rocket lit up.

“Are you sure?” asked Bob.

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Duh!”

“Really really?”

“AH’M ATTACKIN’, AND DERE’S NUTTIN YOU KIN DO TA’ STOP MEH!!” he screamed.

“OkaycausewhenyouattackTollmakesyoulose500LifePoints.” Bob said really fast.

“Huh?” Rocket Jumper exploded. (BBBB: 0 Life Points) “No, ah lost, no.” he said, not really upset. Canyon faded away.

“That game was…” Willie began.

“Beautiful?” Bob guessed.

“No, I meant to say great.”

“Okay, little boy, where’s your house?” Bob asked the baby.

“Ah don’t have a house.” Said Big Bad.

“Uh, your parents?”

“Ah don’t have parents, neither.”

“Oh. Um…want me to adopt you?”

“Boy, would ah!” Big Bad gleefully exclaimed.

“Okay, ‘cause you’re grounded.”

“HUH?!”

 

[spoiler=Commentary]

COMMENTARY

That weak Skull Servant sure is strong…well, it’s just another setup to introduce a key player in the story, so live with the crappy idea.

Yes, Willy’s Bob’s friend.

No, Big Bab Baby Boy doesn’t just use Skull Servants.

Yes, the name sucks.

Yes, he will be back as Bob’s son.

 

[Today’s Featured Card:]

The King of Skull Servants

 

 

[spoiler=Next Cowboy...]

NEXT COWBOY

 

There's a new outlaw in town - and he's challenging Zombie Bill to a duel!! Who will win? Will it be the aggressive Fire-attributes, or the swarming zombies?

 

[align=center]Find out next time on Wild West Bob!

 

Cowboy Four: Flame vs. Zombie! Fight to the Finish![/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

BUMP. We'll put the chapters together into a single spoiler sometime after we've done 5 chapters. Or something.

[Kendo Fish]

Yippee. The chapter is FINUTE! That means fished. Ahem.

 

[spoiler=Chapter Four][align=center]Cowboy Four: Flame vs. Zomibe!

Fight to the Finish!

chapter by kendo fish[/align]

 

The west Town Cemetary was a dark, gloomy place to be. Since it was so SPOOKY, it was often nighttimey there. When it really WAS nighttime, a mysterious mist would linger throughout. People even said that the dead came back to life there. Surely NOBODY would live here…except for, oh, maybe…ZOMBIE BILL!? He lived in an equally despairing yet quaint little cottage a few yards from the place. He may not have lived in a very gloomy-looking house, but somehow it always had an evil feeling about it…

 

So anyways, Zombie Bill, in a pleasant mood, strolled through the cemetary with some brand-new cards in his hands. Without being caught by Sheriff Wild West Bob, he’d stolen a crazy old man’s gold! What’d he spend it on? Trading cards. He saw something in the distance, beyond the willows. Something red, almost like fire. Was it a lantern, held by Bob?

 

“Rrrgh…WILD WEST BOB!!” He ran toward it with angry fury. With his new cards, he was unstoppable! Once he came close enough to see his face, he skidded to a halt. This man wasn’t Bob, Willie, or even BBBB. This man had very shiny hair, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. It was that red. And the way it was shaped, you could tell he was an anime character, not a westerner. He wore a blazin’ yellow very over a black t-shirt, and he also had snazzy black jeans. If only his eyes weren’t so big, he would look cool.

 

“Who…who are you?” Bill asked.

 

“What a coincidence! JUST WHO I WAS LOOKING FOR!!” The challenger nearly spat on him. “I’m Flamin’ Larry! You’re ZOMIBIE BIL!!” The way he spoke made it sound like he was choking. “LET’S DUEL!!!!!” He ripped out his not-because-it-was-colored-like-the-Japanese-flag-but-because-it-looked-cool-red-and-white duel disk.

 

“But I-“

 

Larry: 4000 Life Points

Bill: 4000 Life Points

 

“Challenger goes first!” He drew some cards. “I summon the Volcanic Ssslicer!” Atop some corn-on-the-cob (offered to a dead guy named Joe), an armor-plated dinosaur appeared. It roared like a pterodactyl as its claws sank into the vegetable. “And now, I use Molten Destruction!!” As he held out the card, a massive volcano arose in the background. “Now all of my Fire guys gain 500 attack, but lose 400 defense!” As lava splased onto Slicer, it roared and, somehow, got enraged. “AND I USE SLICER’S ABILITY!! He does 500 damage to your Life Points! Volcanic Saliva!”

 

“Poh!” Slicer’s belly expanded before he launched a puny ball of fire at Zombie Bill.

 

“Ow! My face!” Somehow he was injured by the flames. (Bill, 3500 LP)

 

“I end my turn.”

 

“Why are you dueling me, anyways? Y-you’re not a hitman, are you?”

 

“NO!!!!! I’m duelin’ you because I want to, y’know, TAKE OVAH this town. And once I do…I can tax everyone and get their gold!!”

 

“Well,” Zombie Bill stated, “maybe since the sheriff is better than me, you should take him on first.”

 

“YOU TRYIN’ TO TALK ME OUTTA THIS DUEL!?!?!?”

 

“Not exactly, but it would make more sense.”

 

“YOUR TURN!!”

 

Zombie Bill sighed.

 

Back in the hustlin’ bustlin’ town of West, there was an old guy known as Jimmy “Jimbo” Jimjim. He was a semi-wealthy railroad conductor who got into a lot of accidents. Perhaps that was because he was crazy. Now, Jimmy Jimjim always kept his money in a vase by the door. Since most of it was gold, Jimmy always knew it was there by the glistening golden glow it gave off.

 

When Jimmy came back home from a roundtrip through nearby Kittypaw, he was shocked to find that there was a little less gold than before!

 

“Whatever happenda my gold?” he asked himself, pouring an equal amount into the vase. Frantically, he dialed the sheriff’s number into his old-timey phone.

 

Back at his house, Wild West Bob was whittling a wood figure into shape with his Whittling Knife. On a stool next to him, Big Bad Baby Boy held a block of wood and an identical knife.

 

“Ah’m gonna carve a Skull Servant!” The baby carelessly cut his fingertip. Blood proceeded to bleed out. “Aah! Mah finger!”

 

Bob lifted the materials out of the baby’s hands. “Heh heh, don’t try it ‘till you’re five, sonny.”

 

“Can ah have a bandage?”

 

“Nope! This kind of training’ll strengthen you in the fray!” Before BBBB could reply, Bob’s phone rang. “Whoop. There’s the phone.” He picked it up. “Hello, this is Sheriff Wild West Bob here. What’s the prob’m?”

 

“Somebody stole my gold!” Jimbo answered.

 

“Zombie Bill?”

 

“Uh y-y-y-yeah. Zombie Bill!!”

 

“Normally I wouldn’t believe you, but Zombie Bill? He needs what he deserves! He’s due for fourteen defeats and an arrest for life. Thanks and bye.” B ob hung up and got up from his stool. “Be right back, son. Now, don’t try anything stupid.”

 

“Don’t worreh. Ah won’t.” Big Bad smiled a babey smile. (Babey is an adjective!?)

 

“Good.” Within moments, Bob was out the door.

 

Zombie bill drew his next card. It was his trusty Pyramid Turtle! “I summon a card in face-down defense position!” The turtle was set. “AND NOW I USE HEAVY STORM!!” All of a sudden, a holographic twister brewed, picking up the volcano and tossing it far, far away.

 

“NO!! My volcano!”

 

“And I set another card! Your turn.”

 

Larry drew his next card. “I set a spell and/or trap card! Volcanic Slicer, attack! Mega Bite!”

 

“Aoum!” Slicer clamped down on the card, shook it a few times, then put it down. A cool turtle fell out from under it, afterwards exploding into a million pixels.

 

“Well, uhh-“

 

“LARRY!!”

 

“Larry…when Pyramid Turtle is destroyed, I can Special Summon a monster from my deck! But I ALSO activate my trap card! Soul Rope!”

 

Larry gasped.

 

“You see, by paying 1000 Life Points, I can attach this ‘soul rope’ to my turtle and another monster in my deck. So when you defeated my turtle, you pulled out two more monsters! Come, Soul-Absorbing Bone Towers! (Bill, 2500 LP) Two piles of bones appeared on the field, one dragged out by Pyramid Turtle’s translucent rope.

 

“No problem! I use Fissure!” An earthquake appeared underneath one tower, sucking it down into an endless abyss.

 

There goes my double SABT combo… Bill thought, disappointed. He would have to throw down an awesome plan, and fast, before Larry threw down one of his own. Luckily, he’d already thought of one.

 

“Your turn!”

 

“Bill looked at his hand: Destiny Here Defender, Kuraz the Light Monarch and Snatch Steal. Though these would certainly help him, he wanted a slightly cool finish. Heart of the cards, heart of the cards, heart of the cards… He drew Zombie Master! Yay!

“I summon the Zombie Master!” A necromancer with light blue hair and luscious lips was called out onto the field. “By discarding one card from my hand,” he explained, pulling his Defender card from the hand, “I can revive my Bone Tower! Rise from your grave!” from the graveyard rose a pile of bones, ready to rumble! “And just to make this win even more punishing, I equip your Slicer with Snatch Steal!” A picture of a guy stealing from another guy appeared. “I get to take your monster!”

 

“Oh, PHOOEY!!”

 

“Attack! Bone Collapse! Zombie Power! Mega Bite!” Zombie Master punched Larry with the power of zombies, Volcanic Slicer clamped down on his nose, and millions of bones tumbled upon him for the finishing blow.

 

“Aah! My PRIDE!!” (Larry, 0 Life points)

 

“This duel is over. Never challenge me again, Larry!”

 

“F-fine.”

 

“And, uhhhh…you are now my underling!”

 

“Fine!”

 

“Now, go to West Lake and pan some gold! We split it 80-20.”

 

“As long as I get some…” Flamin’ Larry grumbled, immediately accepting his fate. He walked away, still muttering to himself.

 

Bob rushed through the apple trees of then-modern civilization, searching for the West Town Cemetary. Soon on his journey he came across a little green duck in the road. Strangely enough, the duck had a green-and-yellow miniature duel disk on his wing.

 

“Quah!” he quacked.

 

“Huh, what?”

 

Sonic Duck: 4000 Life Points

Bob: 4000 Life Points

 

To Be Continued…

 

[spoiler=Commentary]

Commentary

 

This is the first To be Continued chapter, and the shortest duel thus far. Oh well. Deal with it.

 

For some reason, I always imagined Flamin’ Larry bald up until now. Now he’s more stylish…I guess.

 

By simply dueling somebody into submission you can, apparently, have someone do your bidding.

 

Previously, Zombie Bill didn’t really believe in the heart of the cards. Trading cards don’t have hearts. But now, I guess he does, and he may use it more often.

 

Once again, thanks for reading. Look forward to the conclusion of this epic three-parter soon!

 

[align=center][Today’s Featured Card:]

Soul Absorbing Bone Tower[/align]

 

[spoiler=Next Cowboy…]

NEXT COWBOY

 

Bob walks into a specific duck… and he’s not KIDDING around this time… heh heh heh. SONIC DUCK RUNS AMOK NEXT TIME!!

 

[align=center]What’s he running amok-ing? Find out next time on Wild West Bob!

 

Cowboy Five: Surprise Duel?! Sonic Duck Appears!![/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

Uh, BUMPEROONIE.

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Sonic Duck.

 

Sonic Duck.

 

...Sonic Duck.

 

Anyway, I find it amusing that Zombie Bill is the most sensible person here.

 

“Why are you dueling me' date=' anyways? Y-you’re not a hitman, are you?”

 

“NO!!!!! I’m duelin’ you because I want to, y’know, TAKE OVAH this town. And once I do…I can tax everyone and get their gold!!”

 

“Well,” Zombie Bill stated, “maybe since the sheriff is better than me, you should take him on first.”

 

“YOU TRYIN’ TO TALK ME OUTTA THIS DUEL!?!?!?”

 

“Not exactly, but it would make more sense.”

 

“YOUR TURN!!”

[/quote']

 

Also, good job staying away from Zombie Master's dubious gender.

[Kendo Fish]

Gamemaster: You mean sexuality. *wink*

 

On a different topic, since for SOME reason I agreed to it before, now I'm typing every chapter, WHICH ISN'T FAIR SINCE WEATHER REPORT IS WRITING HALF OF THE THING. It's not like I'm bound to contract so I HAVE to type it, but if I stop typing it HE'S just going to sit around like a lazy slob and let this die! So I'm not gonna type Cowboy Five for a while, or he won't, or whatever because of this.

 

PLEASE SEND HIM PRIVATE MESSAGES TELLING HIM TO TYPE HIS CHAPTERS, SINCE, AFTER ALL, THEY'RE HIS CHAPTERS. IT'S NOT LIKE HE HAS ANYTHING BETTER TO DO BESIDES REVIEW BAD FAN FICTION.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Gamemaster: You mean sexuality. *wink*

 

On a different topic' date=' since for SOME reason I agreed to it before, now I'm typing every chapter, WHICH ISN'T FAIR SINCE WEATHER REPORT IS WRITING HALF OF THE THING. It's not like I'm bound to contract so I HAVE to type it, but if I stop typing it HE'S just going to sit around like a lazy slob and let this die! So I'm not gonna type Cowboy Five for a while, or he won't, or whatever because of this.

 

PLEASE SEND HIM PRIVATE MESSAGES TELLING HIM TO TYPE HIS CHAPTERS, SINCE, AFTER ALL, THEY'RE [b']HIS[/b] CHAPTERS. IT'S NOT LIKE HE HAS ANYTHING BETTER TO DO BESIDES REVIEW BAD FAN FICTION.

 

You agreed to do it :P So it's your fault :P

[Kaisu]

Com'on!

Cowboy 5 is 2 days off now!

[Weather Report - Stand]

Com'on!

Cowboy 5 is 2 days off now!

 

Well, you DID see us fighting in this topic about it, didn't you?

[Kendo Fish]

I disagree to it now. Doesn't saying I'm not BOUND to this make it CLEAR that I now disagree to it?

 

So to make that more clear, WEATHER REPORT WILL BE TYPING THE NEXT CHAPTER.

[Weather Report - Stand]

I'll do it sometime this week.

[Weather Report - Stand]

[spoiler=Cowboy Five][align=center]Cowboy Five: Surprise Duel?!

Sonic Duck Appears!!

chapter by Weather Report[/align]

 

Previously on Wild West Bob...

“Quah!”

“Huh, what?”

 

Sonic Suck: 4000 Life Points

Bob: 4000 Life points

 

“Qua-quack!” Sonic Duck(the duck) quacked, straightening the bucket on his head. He drew five cards with his creepy finger-like feathers. He studied his cards as Bob stared at him like he was a lit bomb ready to explode.

 

“Quack!” Sonic Duck had just summoned Harpie’s Brother, a cold-looking winged man with a dark past... he was probably made fun of for being a harpy. “Quack quah!!” Sonic Duck pointed at Bob in an oddly cool fashion.

 

“Er, okay.” Bob drew his cards. Is this really an official card game? Bob asked himself. Why is that duck trying to kill me? Or beat me. Bob glanced at the duck’s face. It looked plain. Uh-oh. There’s bloodlust in them eyes. Just stay calm and beat’m.

 

“Hm. I’ll...” Bob had drawn Desert Sunlight, Exchange of the Spirit, Sand Moth, Snatch Steal, Lost Guardian and Fruits of Kozaky’s Studies. “I’ll set a card,” he said, knees knocking in fear, “and then I’ll summon Sand Moth in Attack Mode!”

“Bwar.” Sand Moth looked confident somehow.

“Then I cast the spell Snatch Steal!”

“GWACK!” Sonic Duck gasped and put his wings on his cheeks.

“That’s right! Now I can use your Harpie’s Brother against you as long as my card is active!” Bob pointed at Harpie’s Brother and some weirdo ran out of the equip card picture which just now flipped up. He then picked up the bird-man as if he was made out of cardboard and ran back to Bob’s field.

“Hee hee!” the man giggled.

 

Bob laughed to himself. I’ve got this in the bag. “Attack! Sand Barf! Snatch Smack!”

“Blargh.” Sand Moth spat sand at Sonic Duck as the thief ran up to the aquatic fowl and smacked him with the stiff harpy lad!

“QWAAACK!!” Sonic Duck fell over, but staggered back up in spite of the powerful holograms. (Sonic Duck: 1200 Life Points)

 

“Harpie’s Brother’s got 1800 attack and Sand Moth’s got 1000. You’re halfway dead. Sadly, you gain 1000 Life Points due to Snatch Steal’s second effect.”

“Koff!” The thief coughed up some blood as Sonic Duck drew a card(Sonic Duck: 2200 Life Points).

“Quack.” Sonic Duck considered his options. Quack... quaquack? Quack... “Quack quack! Quack-quack quack!!” Sonic Duck summoned a second Harpie’s Brother!! “Quah!”

 

“Huah!” Harpie’s Brother delivered a kung-fu kick to the robber’s head, causing him to fall and drop the harpy-guy on his head. All three exploded!

“You’ve left yourself defenseless!” Bob scoffed.

“Quah quack? Quack!” Sonic Duck placed Premature Burial onto the field! Some weird blue guy crawled out of the ground.

“Ahh, help me.” he grunted. Then he blew up and Harpie’s Brother was back!

“Quack quack, quah quack quack, quah quack!” Sonic Duck blathered on (Sonic Duck: 1400 Life Points).

“Too bad, because I activate my trap card!” Bob held his palm over his previously-mentioned trap card! “Fruits of Kozaky’s Studies!” A weird scientist named Kazaky appeared with a laptop! “It allows me to see the top three cards of my deck and re-arrange them in any order!’ Bob picked up three cards, then turned to Kozaky. Kozaky gave Bob a thumbs-up and Bob smiled at him. He swapped two cards around. Then he put them back and Kozaky exploded. Things blow up too often in this stupid game.

 

“Quack?!”

“Yes way! End your turn?”

“Quah.”

“Okay! Draw!” Bub stupidly announced for no reason like a Yu-Gi-Oh! anime character. Why would he announce his Draw Phase? “Standby Phase!” Nothing happened and the duelists stared at each other for a moment. Why is he announcing his phases? “Main Phase One!” See, he did it again! “I summon Giant Rat in Attack Mode!” A big blue rat appeared. “I’ll also change Sand Moth to Defense Mode.” Then he waited a moment.

“Battle Phase!” WHY DOES HE DO IT?! “Giant Rat, attack with Rat Pack!”

“Chuu!!” the foul beast said--hey wait! He said ‘Battle Phase’! I’m done yelling about this. Giant Rat took out a bag and threw some human skulls out of it at Harpie’s Brother. The pack of skulls bounced off and hit Giant Rat in the stomach! “Chuuu...” He fell over(Bob: 3600 Life Points)!!

“Since my stupid rat died I can Special Summon an Earth monster from my deck!” Bob quickly looked through the deck and took out a card. “I’ll summon Golem Sentry!” Giant Rat’s stomach started swelling up.

“Quack?” Giant Rat’s stomach exploded, sending a mass of red pixels everywhere! “Quaaaack.”

“Eeeew.”

Inside of the rat’s remains, a fat guy made of stone stood. “Now I’ll use his ability to flip him face-down!” It flipped down on his belly and turned into a face-down card. Quickly, hordes of flies swarmed over the rat’s corpse and ate it. “Main Phase Two! I’ll end my turn by setting a card as these disgusting flies leave. End Phase!” He swiftly played one last card.

 

“Quack quah!” Sonic Duck’s bill curved into a sick, unnatural grin. Bob gasped! I didn’t even know birds could smile! “Quah quack, quack!” A huge swirling whirlwind appeared next to Harpie’s Brother!

“Holy hole!” Bob screamed! “Is that one of the strongest Wind monsters in existance?!”

Slowly, the vortex slowed and it was revealed to be a stupid duck running around in circles for no reason. No, wait, it was just walking around fast (please refer to flavor text). Then it stopped. It was a green duck with a bucket on its head and a scarf on its neck. Bob dully stared at it, then at Sonic Duck. Green feathers... stupid bucket-hat... cool hero scarf...

“You patterned yourself after ‘Sonic Duck’?” Bob asked.

Sonic Duck looked horrified! “Quah quack quah, quack!” Apparently he tried to explain that the card copied him and not the other way around, but that’s stupid either way.

Since he looks like Sonic Duck, Bob thought, I’ll call him ‘Sonic Duck’. Originality is key in today’s society. “Well, uh, Sonic Duck, what next?”

Sonic Duck beamed at the prospect of Bob figuring out his REAL NAME!! But how...?

“Quah!” Sonic Duck made Harpie’s Brother kick Golem Sentry, thus making it flip up. Golem Sentry pathetically flipped onto his back, flailing. Nobody died since they had equal stats. “Quah, quack.”

 

“Okay!” Bob drew a card. “I activate Acidic Downpour!” Acid rain fell on the rock guys!

“Gwah! Gwah! Gwaaah!!” They writhed in pain until it stopped a moment later.

“For some reason it raises their Defense by 400 but lowers their Attack by 500! I’ll set my Sentry and end my turn! NOW try attacking my Golem, Sonic Duck!” Sonic Duck beamed again. “Please don’t do that.” Sonic Duck frowned.

 

“Quah.” Sonic Duck drew a card. “Quack quah quack! Quack quack!” He summoned a second Sonic Duck card! “Quah, quack quack!” He equipped it with Cthonian Alliance! Some evil spirits floated around him! Then for some reason he grew twice the size he originally was. Oh no, Bob thought as Sonic Duck went into a quacking fit, He’s trying to explain that the Equip card, Cthonian Alliance, gives a monster 600 more Attack points as long as there are extra copies of the monster on the field! Sonic Duck has 2300 right now! He’ll kill my Sentry, unless...

“Quah quack!” Sonic Duck’s big Sonic Duck walked on top of the face-down rocky monster at super-speed!

 

“Not so SONIC, Sonic Duck!” Nobody laughed at the lame joke. “I activate my trap card, Desert Sunlight!” The holographic sun shone in between the orchard’s branches, making you think that it was hotter than it was. Golem Sentry flipped up, making Sonic Duck (the big one) take a step back. “This card flips my monsters into face-up Defense position, so I can use their abilities!” Golem Sentry brushed the sweat off his brow, then pushed the mallard into Sonic Duck’s hand due to the intense force of the shove! The Cthonian Alliance spell card exploded into several shard-like pixels. They got stuck in Harpie’s Brother and Sand Moth, but nobody cared.

 

“Quah QUACK!!” he screamed! “Quah.”

“Thanks.”

Bob drew a card-- Megarock Dragon! Hey, maybe I could win with him! Or not! My signature card is always confusing me. “I’ll set my sentry and end my turn. “ Golem Sentry fell over again. Sonic Duck drew a card... which was Rush Recklessly! “Quack!” Sonic Duck summoned Sonic Duck again! “Quah quack, quack!” He played Rush Recklessly!

“Gulp!” Bob literally said. Sonic Duck’s Sonic Duck trampled Golem Sentry and destroyed him due to the 700-point boost!

 

“Ugh.” Bob drew Misfortune. “You’re almost outta Life Points! I activate Misfortune!” A masked gentleman appeared. “Its effect is--”

“Quah quack!”

“Um... okay... it does--”

“Quack!”

“Oh, you know what it does?”

“Quah.”

“Oh. Nobody really knows what it does. Good job. I use its effect on Harpie’s Brother.” The gentleman stared harshly at Harpie’s Brother. When that failed to do anything, he smashed him into Sonic Duck’s face!

“QUAAACK!!” (Sonic Duck: 500 Life Points) Sonic Duck drew a card. “Quah!” Sonic Duck angrily summoned Harpie Lady 1 ! Her dazzlingly pink hair appeared to give all Wind monsters a fighting spirit(worth 300 ATK)! “Quack quack quah.” Elegant Egotist was played! Harpie Lady 1 jumped in front of a giant kaleidoscope and it shook around. Then it broke and THE HARPIE LADY SISTERS CAME OUT!! “Quack quah... QUACK?!” The three new harpies were covered in censor bars.

 

“Oh no! You didn’t get the 4Kids one!” Bob bellowed, covering his eyes. Sonic Duck blushed and swapped it for the 4Kids version in his bucket. Sonic Duck’s eyes lit up in surprise. He finally noticed the card Bob set right after Giant Rat blew up. He decided to wait another turn before doing anything.

 

“QUACK!” The sisters flew around Golem Sentry and began scratching at him. He flipped up and crumbled into pieces. “Quah quack.” Sonic Duck folded his wings.

“You’re not attacking?” Bob asked. Sonic Duck shook his head. “Oh, ‘cause it would kill me if you attacked me. Seriously. I set a monster and end my turn.”

“QUAH!!” Mystical Space Typhoon, an enormous cyclone, blasted away the face-down trap. It was Negate Attack. “Quack?”

“Oh, darn it!” Bob laughed!

“QUACK... QUACK!!” Sonic Duck, enraged, had his 2100 ATTACK POINT HARPIE’S BROTHER ATTACK THE MONSTER BOB JUST SET!! Legandary Jujitsu Master, a green zombie pirate blackbelt flipped up and threw him back on top of Sonic Duck’s deck with his 2200 DEFENSE POINTS OF POWAH!!

“Quah...quah...?!”

“Yar har!” the zombie pirate blackbelt laughed.

“Yeah. Harpie’s Brother has 2100 Attack because of Harpie Lady 1, but my Jujitsu Master has 2200 Defense and sends your Harpie back on top of your deck!”

“Quack?!” (Sonic Duck: 400 Life Points)

 

Bob held up his Acidic Downpour card. “I was hoping you’d forgotten about it and attack. And I was right! I even forgot about it for a while myself.”

“...Quack.” Sonic Duck set a lone card.

“Okay.” Bob drew Stone Statue of the Aztecs. “Set two cards and end,” he explained as he did so with his new card.

 

“Quack, quack!!” Sonic Duck’s Harpie Lady sisters, with the 300-boost to make them have 2250 Attack, stuck the Aztec statue by clawing at it furiously. It flipped up and threw a rock at Sonic Duck! “Quack!” Then the trap card flipped up and a boxing kangaroo leaped up and smashed the sister's chins in, causing them to, well, you know.

“Yep!” Bob agreed. “My statue has 2400 Defense, and when you lose Life Points due to attacking him, you lose DOUBLE the Life Points! And then, I activated this.” Bob pointed to his Cross Counter trap card he'd just activated. "This card doubles THAT damage and DESTROYS your sisters. So you take 600 damage." The mean kangaroo punched Sonic Duck so holographically hard that his beak got squished into his face for FOUR WHOLE SECONDS!!

Sonic Duck fell his knees in false pain! “QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAack.” (Sonic Duck: 0 Life Points. GAME OVER)

 

Bob put away his wild west cards as the olden holograms dissapeared. He grabbed Sonic Duck by the scarf! “Now do you know where Zombie Bill is?” he forcefully asked.

 

And now on today’s episode of Wild West Bob...

 

“Quack!” Sonic Duck screamed.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

“Wait!” a sudden, beautiful voice rang out! Bob turned around and realized Willie was here, swinging on the vines of the apple trees!

“Willie!”

 

Willie held out a basket of apples. “I was conveniently nearby when I heard you playing a beautifully intense game!”

“Well, I’m following this duck to Zombie Bill, though I already know where he is. I just needed to see if he was related to him in any way, and since he already said he knew where he was...”

Sonic Duck suddenly began squirming and screaming.

 

“QUAquaquaquaquaquaQUA-”

“SHUT UP!!” Bob turned his back to Willie and ruthlessly began punching his captive animal! “YOU’RE ALWAYS MAKING PROBLEMS FOR ME AND YOU NEVER SHUT UP!!”

“BOB, STOP!!”

“What?” Bob turned around and pointed to a dead fly with several suspicious punch marks all over its body. “This fly was buzzing by my ear for the past few minutes.”

“Er, let’s just go, beautifully.”

 

TO BE CONTINUED...

 

[spoiler=Commentary]

COMMENTARY

 

Notice I never said ‘And now today’s episode of Wild West Bob’ right after I did the flashback? That’s where the odd joke came in later, after the duel.

This chapter is the longest so far. It’s also the first to show Sonic Duck duel. He runs a Harpie Deck, see?

Harpie’s Brother should be a Harpie, but it isn’t for some stupid reason. I mean he’s almost a beatstick, he’s cool, and has ‘Harpie’ in his name. The dragon counts, so why doesn’t HE count? Life sucks.

Plus, why’s Sand Moth called a MOTH?! It’s not a moth and it looks nothing like a moth! It should be ‘Killer Sand’. It’s dumb but makes more sense, since he’s NOT A MOTH IN ANY SENSE OF THE WORD.

And why does the anime always announce people’s draws?

How can a duck WALK at super-speed?

Why did we forget about Acidic Downpour? We even forgot to apply the effect through several turns of the story.

Who’s the man on Misfortune?

And lastly the Harpie Lady Sisters card makes them all look ugly and/or hideous.

Live for tomorrow.

 

[spoiler=Today's Featured Card:][align=center]TODAY'S FEATURED CARD:

Sonic Duck

 

[spoiler=Next Cowboy...]

NEXT COWBOY

 

Flamin’ Larry is still panning for some gold! But his gold pannin’ will soon be interrupted by a challenge by the beautiful Willie! Will the water extinguish the flame, or is fire the only way to fight fire?

 

[align=center]Tune in to the next chapter of Wild West Bob!

 

Chapter Six: Fire and Water! Destined Matchup!

 

Is the winner really that obvious after all!? Read on to find out![/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

Cowboy five HAS BEEN ADDED. REPLY OR SOMETHING.

[Kaisu]

Very erm... random.

This has a more muddled story than any of the rest.