Wild West Bob: A Yu-Gi-Oh! Saga(12/16: Sonic Duck duels!)

[Weather Report - Stand]

WE'RE BACK... FOR REAL THIS TIME!! Sorry for the hold-up, but now I MEAN it when I say that we're back on track.

 

[spoiler=Cowboy Seventeen][align=center]Cowboy Seventeen: Riding Duel, Acceleration!!

Unexpected Love on the Battlefield?!

Chapter by Weather Report[/align]

 

Just as Dan had finished savagely beatin’ up that Sacred Beast idiot, Willie was a few miles outside of West Town at Horse Harold’s Horse Dealership. At the nice ranch, Willie looked over several hoses of different sizes and colors, with signs like ‘$100’, ‘$200, NO MONEY DOWN’, ‘$250 50 MILES PER GALLON’, and even ‘$400 WINNER OF 1870 FORD SAFETY AWARD’.

 

Willie inspected a horse’s head and opened its lips up. “The gums are kinda beautiful… but not beautiful enough,” he judged. He walked over to a speckled grey mare. A fat men in a small bowler hat and a large bowtie zipped over.

“I see you like Marigold, eh?” he asked.

“Yea, Harold, she looks like a nice horse.”

“Jus’ta let you in on a lil’ secret, my name’s not Harold, it’s Wilbur.”

“That’s almost like MY name!” Willie observed.

“HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So do you want ‘er?”

“Boy, do I!”

 

Two seconds later, Willie burst out of the ranch on Marigold, $150 poorer. But he had a horse! “This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” he whispered to her.

“NEIGH,” she said in a gruff, humanoid voice.

“That’s creepy, but I accept you all the same.”

 

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, Wilbur counted his new cash. “That boy’s got one heck of a horse, I tell ya, and also, I have NO idea how much one-hundred buck’s worth in the 1800’s.” Then he remembered. “I wish I had somebody to talk to besides these horses.”

“INGRATE!!” a horse accused.

“YOU! HAVE! MEEEE!!” Wilbur turned and saw a huge, approaching dust cloud. It stopped when it reached the ranch.

“Coughcoughcough,” coughed Wilbur and the horses. “What do I say to a big DUST CLOUD?!”

 

The dust settled around the place and revealed an incredibly dusty young lady. But even so, her features were unmistakable!! She wore a European school uniform! Useless goggles in her electric yellow hair! Scary green eyes peering into your SOUL!! Both a panda hairdo AND TWIN PONYTAILS!!

“Who the heck are you?” asked Wilbur.

 

The girl looked around for a moment. Horses. She jumped onto a horse. The brown stallion reared up and whinnied, “AAAARGH, GET OFF OF MEEEE!!”

“LET’S GO, CHOWDER-PUFF!!” the girl ordered!

“MY NAME’S ICARUS!!” But she paid him no heed, because she rode him after Willie in hot pursuit.

“ICARUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!” Wilbur cried.

 

Back off the ranch, Willie had stopped Marigold by a small pond for a drink. “Boy, after just SEEING that cloud back there, even I feel thirsty, too.”

“Yeah, the thirst… OF DEFEAT!!”

Willie saw the reflection of that dusty girl in the pond’s water. Then he looked at her in person. “WHO are YOU?!”

“Call me… Bob,” she suggested.

“B-Bob?!” Willie gasped. “I already know a Bob! But that’s a man’s name, not a beautiful woman’s name. What am I missing?!”

 

B-beautiful?! He called me a beautiful woman. This must be… love between enemies! Bob blushed, blurting out “It’s short for Roberta!” and averting her face. “Now, um, you must be, uh, Willie?”

“Run, man,” Icarus wailed, “She’s crazy! And she wants to beat’cha! And then steal your deck! GO, AND BE FREEE!!”

That horse just talked, beautifully! Willie thought. Oh, but he tried to save my life, beautifully. Time for my beautiful escape! “Marigold, let’s get out of here, beautifully!”

“NEIGH,” Marigold screeched, running away as fast as possible. Yanking Icarus’ reigns, Bob/Roberta chased in hot pursuit!

 

“You can NEVAH escape the RING OF DEATH!!” Roberta shouted, holding out a purple crystal on a string! It wiggled around unpredictably, due to the bouncing motions of the horse.

“DANG, BOY, YOU’RE IN DEEP CRAP NOW!!” Icarus shouted! Instead of a massive ring, the flames of the crystal whirled and twisted around quite randomly.

“What’s going on?” Willie wondered. Suddenly a gigantic, purple, flaming racetrack had created itself out of the flames! It’s a long story that’s too hard to properly explain!!

 

“Hey, slow down so I can duel you!” ordered Roberta!

“No, YOU slow down, beautifully!” So I can make my beautiful escape!

Ah, he did it again… Roberta remembered. “Hey, wait!” Willie stopped and Roberta’s horse stopped next to him.

“Yeah?”

“Well, we have to duel to get out of here, so we… have to duel ‘n stuff.”

“Oh.”

“Also the one who loses falls asleep for a while, and they don’t really die.”

“Oh.” And then I’ll make my escape! Willie plotted.

And then I’ll…<3 Roberta plotted.

“Well, we can duel on our horses,” Roberta suggested.

“Okay.” They noticed a large curve up ahead.

“FIRSTONEAROUNDTHECURVEGOESFIRST.”

“YOU’RE ON.”

 

The horses revved up and the duelists strapped their Duel Disks to their heads (the HORSES heads); Roberta’s was red and blue, if that matters.

“HORSE RIDING DUEL!!” Roberta shouted! “CHOWDER-CREAMPUFF, ACCELERATE!!” Icaurs tore outta the starting place!

“RRRRRM, BRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUM!! RRRRRM!!” he growled, simulating engine sounds.

 

But lo, Marigold passed them! “Wha?!” bob gasped, seeing Willie and his horse pass by riding, sideways along the walls, completely defying all laws of everything.

“RIDING DUEL, START,” Marigold said in a computerized voice. “WET WILLIE VERSUS BATTERYMAN “BOB” ROBERTA.” She turned the corner effortlessly, as if she were some sort of corner-master.

“DA-RAW!!” Willie roared, drawing his card as hard as possible! “I activate the Spell Water-Hazard!” A wave trailed behind Marigold, filled with bunches of cool fishies! While I have no monsters,” he explained, “it lets me Special Summon a level four Water monster from my hand! I choose Mother Grizzly in Defense Mode!

 

 

The blue grizzly bear was spat out of the wave with a delightful spitting sound. It ran after the horse so as to not get left behind. “I’ll also set an additional monster and end my turn.” A face-down card flew after Willie and his horse in a cool fashion.

 

“My turn,” Roberta said… WITH PASSION! “Go, Double Summon!” A card with a lady summoning a crappy monster appeared.

“What?” Willie asked.

“DOUBLE SUMMON,” Marigold said, “THE USER CAN PERFORM ONE ADDITIONAL NORMAL SUMMON FOR ONE TURN.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Now I’ll summon two super awesome killin’ machines; Batteryman AAs!” After that hyper-active intro, two red battery robots appeared and ran after Icarus “Chowder-Puff” the horse. If they’d simply stood there, they’d be left behind! “For every copy of them on the field, they gain 1000 Attack Points!” Roberta shouted!

“Two 2000 Attack Point monsters on the first turn?! Well, it’s just a card game,” Willie sighed.

“Supercharged battery shock explosion attack!!” One Batteryman leaped skyward and fired a huge electrical blast at the face-down monster.

 

A cool top hat smashed the battery back into Roberta’s hand. It was thrown by a dandy, dying penguin. “Crap!” Roberta cursed.

“My Nightmare Penguin returns a monster back into the owner’s hand when it’s flipped up,” Willie explained. “and it also gives my other Water monsters a stat boost, but that’s a different story.”

“Well, I don’t care, because I set a card! Go!”

“Mother Grizzly, Claw His Face Off!!” It was the official attack name, so it had to be capitalized. Willie’s blue bear savagely leaped at the remaining robot jogging after Bob and ripped its face off. The rest of its body harmlessly hit and bounced off of her.

“AHH!!” she screamed! (Bob: 3600 Life Points)

“I’ll set a Trap card and end my turn, beautifully.”

 

“Good, draw!” Roberta drew Monster Reborn! “Perfect, triple-S rank, great luck yeah!~”

I’m confused, Willie gulped mentally.

“HAIL 2 U! Monster Reborn, Batteryman AA, Inferno Reckless Summon!!” A cool totem-thingie appeared in a flash of light… and Batteryman AA was carrying it like an Olympic torch!

“What’s that LAST card do, beautifully?!” Willie pointed to Roberta’s Quick-Play Spell, which had some skeleton zombies getting vaporized by a laser beam, I think.

“INFERNO RECKLESS SUMMON,” Marigold narrated, “WHEN YOU SPECIAL SUMMON A MONSTER WITH UNDER 1500 ATTACK POINTS OUTSIDE OF YOUR BATTLE PHASE, SUMMON AS MANY COPIES AS YOU CAN TO YOUR FIELD. ADDITIONALLY, YOUR OPPONENT—”

“I’ve heard enough about this beautifully creepy card!” Willie exclaimed! “I activate Spell Shield Type-8!” His Trap was a funky shield in a funky force field. “I discard a Spell card to negate your beautifully creepy card!” The shield hovered next to Willie so that he could insert his card into it. Then it transformed into a robot duck!

“QUARK,” it seethed. It grabbed the other card it was negating and gobbled it up and flew away. Luckily, it flew into the flames and was incinerated.

 

“Hmm, um, what to do…” Roberta wondered as they turned down a small corridor. It was the opposite of wide, so Mother Grizzly was pushed into the flames. The air was ripe with the holographic smell of burning hair. “A-HA! That burning bear gave me an idea! I tribute my USELESS AA for a souped-up Batteryman Charger on the double ASAP!!” The AA battery exploded and was replaced by a pink battery charger with a fat head!

“Huff, huff, huff,” it wheezed, tying to keep up.

“When I summon it, I can summon a SECOND Batteryman from my hand or deck, and this dude gets 300 Attack Points for EVERY Thunder-type monster on the field! Here’s Batteryman D, the fat one!” A fat, green battery appeared on its side and rolled after the gang as they exited the thin hall of flames.

 

“Kill the fiery bear now! Team shocker zap go double trouble tag TEAM!!” The pink guy touched the green fatty and was covered in a dazzling, electric charge!

“I…HAVE…POWERRRRRRR!!” it yelled, sending sparks everywhere! It picked up Batteryman D and hit Mother Grizzly with it.

“Oh no beautiful!” (Willie: 3000 Life Points) Marigold began swerving out of control before Willie got her back on track.

Ooh, he said it again. He must really love me… TO THE MAX.

“But… you forgot ONE THING!!”

“One—one thing?!?!” Bobgirl gasped with as much energy as possible.

“Mother Grizzly,” Willie revealed, “is actually a balloon!” The bear suddenly began filling up with air until it hovered off of the ground and became overly shiny. Then it popped, sending fire and confetti in all directions, and maybe even some fiery confetti, too!

 

The bear had turned into a cool mermaid with a crossbow on a massive flying sea turtle with ramparts on its shell!

“Since my Mother Grizzly was destroyed by battle, I can summon a Water monster from my deck, like Mermaid Archer, in her place!”

“Archer? I don’t see any bow!” Roberta protested, crossing her arms. Mermaid Archer held up her crossbow and waved it a bit, with a smile. “OOOH, CROSS-BOW. Got it. Thanks. Well, I’ll set a card and end my turn.”

 

“Good. I activate the beautiful Legendary Ocean!” The track was replaced with ATLAAAAAAANTIIIIIISSSS!! Fake holographic fish were everywhere.

“He’s gotcha on the ropes,” Icarus told the gal.

“Never, Chowderpuff!”

“Stop changing my name! I’m Icarus! Not Chowder-Puff, not Chowder-Powderpuff, and NOT EVEN Chowderpuff without a hyphen! Gawsh, lady, ‘yer dumb!”

“Alright then, your loss!” The horse face-hoofed itself.

“Now, all of my monsters get a 200-point boost and lose a level!” Willie said. “I’ll summon a level three Armed Sea Hunter!” A seahorse brachiosaur warrior swam onto the scene!

“Brrrrgh!” he neighed.

“Next,” Willie continued, “I remove Mother Grizzly to Special Summon Aqua Spirit from my hand!” A cool watery girl with a water droplet necklace and a wedding dress (…?) swam up to the other two and pursued Willie as well. “I use Monster Reborn to summon my Nightmare Penguin again, giving everybody even MORE Attack Points to spare!” The dandy penguin slid by on its belly, its mere prescience making the water-peoples feel wet and happy. “But that doesn’t matter, because I equip it to Mermaid Archer to give it—I mean, her… “ Willie looked at her uncertainly. She frowned angrily. “Well, she gets 300 more Attack Points and isn’t destroyed once per battle.” She loaded up a Nightmare Penguin into her crossbow. “Also I’ll use H – Heated Heart, giving her 500 more Attack Points. Mermaid Archer was suddenly consumed by the hero spirit!

 

“Armed Sea Hunter, beautifully destroy the fat one! Seahorse fists of fastness!!” The seahorse gracefully punched the battery into nothingness in a flurry of punches. “Mermaid Archer, smash the charger with a beautiful penguin arsenal blaster!” The archer fired her penguin launcher in an awesome swirling pattern, flying right through the running battery charger’s chest! Then it exploded.

“Oh no!” Roberta screamed! (Bob: 3300 Life Points)

“Aqua Spirit, finish up the Battle Phase with a beautiful… water splash!!” The girl held her palms together and launched a large quantity of devastating water droplets at Roberta! They harmlessly dissipated in the ocean of Atlantis!

“WOoOOooAAah!!” Icarus began spinning out of control, sending up a smoke trail and the smell of burnt rubber! (Bob: 1500 Life Points)

“Care to take your turn?” Willie asked courteously.

 

“I will. I WILL. I activate Double Summon, again!” The summoner card thing appeared again. “I summon AND tribute for Super-Electromagnetic Voltech Dragon!!” Batteryman AA was summoned for a mere second before turning into a giant dinosaur made out of metal and charged with electricity flowin’ through its veins! “It has 2400 Attack Points when summoned,” Roberta snickered, “BUT, when I tribute my AA for’m, he gains 1000 Attack Points, yeah!”

“GWOOOAR!!” it roared.

Holy beautiful, Willie thought. She just summoned a 3400-point monster on one turn! That’s so… wait, why am I turned on by a girl playing a card game? Weird… no, just creepy.

“I set three cards,” Bob said, as three Spell or Trap cards appeared, “and I’ll use Mega Gigabolt Dino Captain Cannon Neo Blaster Go-Go!!” Several small electrical generators appeared all over the dino’s body and spun rapidly, generating electricity. The robot opened its mouth wider than it should on any other occasion. It was shocked by several bolts of undersea lightning! Fully energized, it fired away at Aqua Spirit, engulfing her in a ginormous ball of plasma and all them electrical doo-hickeys. It continued, after frying the little girl, and struck Willie and Marigold with a loud ‘CRACK-POP’ sound.

“AHH!” (Willie: 1600 Life Points)

“MALFUNCTION, MALFUNCTION,” Marigold alerted, spewing forth smoke from her ears.

“Work, work, darn you!” Willie commanded, smacking her head, which made some metallic sounds.

 

“My turn,” Willie grumbled, feeling a bit tired. “I activate Level Limit - Area B, putting your dinosaur into dino-Defense Mode.” The joke didn’t go over very well, but the robot did fall on its side as a small green-blue defendo-station appeared on the field. Oddly enough, it was scraped along the ‘ocean’ floor and kept up with the horses. “Now, Armed Sea Hunter, kill him! Or it!”

“No way!” Roberta flipped up her Threatening Roar Trap card! A large, purple dog mouth poked out of the image and let loose a THREATENING ROAR! It scared Armed Sea Hunter and got him to stop.

“Oh crap,” he muttered. “oh crap, oh crap, oh cra-ha-haaap…” He curled up into a fetal position.

“Darn your Trap beautifully!” Willie shouted, waving his fist! “Oh well. I’ll set a card and end my turn. Go.”

“Oh, I WILL.”

“You said something like that LAST turn.”

 

“You remembered! I remove Batterymen D and Charger to summon Batteryman Industrial Strength, killin’ your Area B and Sea Hunter!” A cool car battery-powered robot (I think) that ran on one wheel appeared, casting a steely glare, cruisin’ next to the sliding dinosaur. It glowed a bit green and fell on its side, rolling as smoothly as a wooden box.

“HUNH?!” Willie gasped! “And I repeat, HUNH?!”

“Well, I can remove two Batterymen to summon a guy that can destroy a monster AND a spell or trap once per turn.”

“That’s beautifully cheap!” As Willie said that, the robot threw a red and blue clamp at both the VILE green area and the UNWORTHY Sea Hunter Guy. They were POSITIVELY and NEGATIVELY charged, and they exploded!! Additionally, extra electricity spread around the water and killed some holographic fish. “NO! But the dinosaur’s defensive position looks so funny!”

“I’LL show you something funny!” Roberta threatened.

“What?”

“ME WINNING!!”

“Wha—“

“Now my robot goes into Attack Position,” her dinosaur did, “and I activate Call of the Haunted and Inferno Reckless SUH-MOOOOOOON!!” The last two cards she had set flipped up, becoming a tombstone, and the other becoming a laser hitting it. Three Batterymen flipped out of the laser! But the tombstone was never the same again.

“Holy ravioli, three un-beautiful 3000-power monsters?!” How… stunningly skilled! She almost has me beat!

“Finally,” she said, “I use Short Circuit to destroy your cards. ALL OF THEM!!” The three AA batteries picked up a card with a short circuiting Batteryman Industrial Strength on it and threw it at Willie’s cards.

“WATCH OOOOOOOOUT!!” Icarus shouted!

“NO! MY TRAP! WHICH I’LL USE! Rainbow LIIIIIIIFE!!” Willie flipped up his Trap card, which had a kid in a yellow coat and beautiful rainbow, being attacked by monsters. I have no idea how it would save his life, but just believe. “I discard a card from my hand to turn all NEGATIVE damage to my Life Points into POSITIVE points!” Willie smiled. He thought he’d made a witty pun, but he was DEAD WRONG. “Wanna attack?”

 

“I… I… ACCEPT THIS ATTACK AS A TOKEN OF MY LOVE FOR YOU!!” Roberta screamed! “GO!” Her dinosaur generated power again as it stood up, and the three little men jumped off of the industrial battery-guy into the sea sky! Even if there isn’t a sea in the sky! They created a great triangle formation and fired out a combined electrical shock so powerful that it turned magenta. It completely decimated Willie and Marigold with extra Life Points.

 

Did she just say… lo… LOVE, BEAUTIFUL?! No woman besides my mom and other females in my family has ever loved me…

 

He remembered one day in West Town Elementary School as a 5th Grader with the girl he liked. “You’re beautiful,” he said.

“Ew you’re gross and overly feminine,” she said, rejecting his advances. He was sad. Then a certain boy named Bob walked up to him, in a cool cowboy hat and a junior sheriff star.

“Don’t worry, kid,” he consoled, “people made fun of me for wanting an adoptive daughter! But together, we can make our dreams come true!”

“R-really?” Willie sniffed.

“Sure, my dream to have an adoptive daughter and yours to fall in love with a girl who don’t think you’re too girly!”

 

Who knew that so many ‘Bobs’ would govern my destiny so… beautifully…[/u]

 

(Willie: 14200 Life Points)

 

“Please defeat me, Willie,” Roberta urged, “and please get out of here!”

“Thank you.” Wilie, with manly tears in his eyes, summoned… “Penguin Soldier, Attack Mode.” The penguin slide through the Atlantic track, slippin’ and slidin’ ‘round enemy batteries with his gleaming sword of frosty justice. “Now, I use Big Wave, Small Wave…” A lava wave of lava consumed Atlantis completely and utterly! Oh no! Penguin Soldier was washed away… and was reborn as a LEVIA DRAGON – DAEDALUS!!

“GOORAAAAHN!!” it exploded with rage!

“I discard my Legendary Ocean to end this match… beautifully.” Atlantis blew up, killing everybody in the ensuing blast. Except for the dragon. Daedalus fired a hyper beam at Roberta, filled with the anger of a Gyarados. (Roberta: 0 Life Points. GAME OVER)

 

The horses stopped and the track lifted itself into the air. “What da heck?” Icarus gasped.

“Oh, okay, it’s norm—“ Roberta was struck by the collective flames of the purple racetrack. She was instantly knocked out.

“B-BEAUTIFUUUUUL!!” Willie cried!

“WILLIE VERSUS BOB. WINNER, WILLIE,” Marigold said.

 

[align=center][spoiler=Commentary:]

Starting now, we’re tired of having to highlight all of the cards, so I guess you guys are big kids now and can look’m up yourselves, right? Anyways, Roberta was supposed to just be a genki girl originally. THEN SHE EVOLVED. The Willie romance was SLIGHTLY random, but I knew we needed to prove that Willie was straight, no matter HOW much he says “beautiful”.

 

Also, the riding duel didn’t feel important to the plot in this chapter; that was the desired effect, for you to get all hyped-up about it. NOTHING is important in this series.

 

Anyways, Merry Kwanza!

 

 

[spoiler=Today’s Featured Card:]

Super Electromagnetic Voltech Dragon

[/align]

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Tsundere + genki girl = something very, very strange = a talking dust cloud?

 

Bump.

[Nexev]

Yay for Willie, he won.

 

....Beautifully

 

What a weird catch phrase.

 

I want a horse like Marigold...

[Weather Report - Stand]

And a very special genki girl she is. With battery-powered action! She may become a fan favorite... besides Sonic Duck. KF is typing the next chapter now, and thanks for re-visiting this story, finally!

[Kendo Fish]

[spoiler=Cowboy Eighteen!][align=center]Cowboy Eighteen: Masked Choppin' Loppins!

In It to Lose It!

chapter by kendo fish[/align]

 

Of all those guys, I get paired with the one who's pretty irate...

 

Larry cringed. Where we last left of, they were in a duel!

 

"DUEL!!" (Larry, 4000 Life Points) (Loppins, 4000 Life Points)

 

"I'm goin' first!" Larry screeched!

 

"Wait-"

 

"Triple card SET!!" Two spelltraps and a monster hovered above the dusty, rocky terrain. "Your turn."

 

"You're not much of a threat," Loppins declared.

 

"Oh, whatever you know."

 

"I set a monster to match YOUR monster, and another card to top your other two." He touched his glasses. They glowed. "With the power of Pot of Greed I draw two cards." And so he did!

 

"W-w-wait! Now just hold on a second! If you had REALLY used Pot of Greed, some sort of hologram or graphic would have appeared!"

 

"I'm special."

 

"Oh. Alright."

 

"Now I set a second spell and/or trap, so now we're even. For now." He pressed so hard on his glasses it should have hurt! It sounded like a machine was about to start up! When the blinding light faded, a gargantuan cannon was perched atop his head! "Wave-Motion Cannon."

 

"THAT THING'S BIGGER THAN TEXAS!!" Larry was getting better at talking like the locals.

 

"Your turn."

 

I need to get rid of that freakish cannon...if only I'd gone to the Mystical Space Typhoon Convention in Abernathy! That train stopped there for a reason! But he shook his past mistake off. If he was going to take any action, he had to concentrate. "Then I'll activate Soul of Fire! It lets me discard a card in my deck and do some Life Point damage!" Infernal Flame Emperor flew out of his deck and into his soul! He immediately caught on fire! "DAAAH!!"

 

His pain was Loppins' pain! In the exact same voice and tone he said, "DAAAH!!" (Loppins, 2650 LP) "At least I get to draw a card." His cannon spat out a card, for some reason. "Huh. Wonder where that came from."

 

"Aaaaanyways, I tribute my face-down for a certain VOLCANIC HAMM-ER-ER!!" His camera-like Blaster exploded in a flurry of flame and brought Da Hammerer onto da scene! "Attack with Volcanic-"

 

Loppins tapped his glasses. "Magic Cylinder."

 

Hammerer went through a large tube, then came out of another heading straight for Larry!

 

"Oh NNOOOOO-"

 

Hammerer punched him in the cheek! (Larry: 1600 LP)

 

"Fine, it's your turn."

 

Making a wishy-washy watery sound, the cannon grew to seven times its size!

 

"WubwubwubWUBwubwub-"

 

"Level Limit Area - B." With a tap of the dreaded glasses, everyone fell out into Defense Mode! "And they don't call me Masked Choppin' for nothing! Go, Masked Chopper!"

 

A short guy with a mask and some stabby weaponry appeared.

 

"HA!!" Larry laughed loudly at Loppins.

 

"Sometimes it's the wimps who are the strongest."

 

"HahahaHUNHHH!?"

 

"I'll also flip up Marauding Captain."

 

"Yarhar!" A chivalrous knight appeared at first, but when his mouth opened one thing was certain; he was missing a tooth.

 

"Come on!" Flamin' Larry looked closer at tooth gap. "He doesn't look THAT much like a pirate!"

 

"Think about that for a while while I activate United We Stand!" His glasses were radiating friendly energy! The two monsters actually fused together, the captain fusing with with Chopper...in spirit! "Attack! Chop Lop!"

 

"Sakuretsu Armor!"

 

"Choplop!" Masked Chopper recited. As he went in for the stabby kill, Larry's hair jutted out and turned into really spiky armor! Chopper was impaled, as the hair went right through his chest. Marauding Captain, who'd been hiding behind Chopper all along, scurried on over to the safety of a large rock.

 

"...Alright, SOMETHING'S wrong with the holograms today, because Sakuretsu Armor has NEVER affected my hair that way."

 

"I end this turn here."

 

Flamin' Larry flamin' smiled. "MST!" A blue typhoon whisked Wave-Motion Cannon off into the wilderness. Loppins looked at him coolly. Larry growled. "I know you're hiding SOMETHING," he said. "You don't fool me."

 

"We'll see."

 

"I'll set Gaia Soul the Combustible Collective and end my turn."

 

"It looks like your face-down isn't fooling me, either, seeing as you just revealed its name."

 

"Wha?"

 

"I set a monster. Turn end."

 

"I'm gonna tribute Hammerer and Gaia Soul for the Infernal Flame Emperor!" A four-legged, two-armed and two-winged sphinx-thing arrived! To make it even more strange, he was covered in smoldering flame! "I then remove the tributes from play to destroy two spells 'n' traps!"

 

"Chain Ojama Trio!"

 

Two blazing hot fireballs sprouted from the emperor's already-burning palms. One was thrown at Loppin's left lens, removing the level limit! The other was heading straight for his right side, but the three Ojamas leaped out and took the blow for it! "Ow!" they yelped, tumbling onto Larry's side of the field.

 

I can't have these idiots taking up my side of the field! Larry thought, grimacing.

 

Loppins slowly drew a card and pressed the not-broken side of his glasses. "Activate Scapegoat." Three happy fat goat-blobs appeared! They sat around like the fat tumors they were. "End turn."

 

Larry wiped the sweat from his brow. "You play an intense game, Loppins."

 

"Uh, thanks."

 

"I summon Solar Flare Dragon and switch my Flame Emperor to Attack Mode." Now the dragon and sphinx were a powerful duo! "Activate the field spell Molten Destruction! Solar Flare attacks one token with Solar Flare Nip, and the Emperor attacks the face-down with Blazin' Hot Inferno!!" One goat exploded as SFD nipped at its face softly. The face-down was easily demolished after Infernal Flame Emperor ripped it in half...but it turned out to be Morphing Jar! The two were forced to get new hands.

 

"Lastly, I set this newly-drawn card," Larry declareyd. GET IT!?!?

 

"This will be your last turn," Loppins said chillingly. Larry raised an eyebrow. "I use Creature Swap." Both his glasses and his goat glowed.

 

"You want your Ojama Token, you can have it." Ojama Green also glowed, and in an instant the two tumors swapped fields.

 

I was hoping he'd make a stupid mistake, Loppins thought. No matter. "I summon Masked Chopper. He attacks one Ojama Token. Chop Lop."

 

Masked Chopper jabbed a very blunt knife into Ojama Yellow's eye. "Ow!" the token chirped as it imploded. The debris from the implosion (!?) inflicted the finishing blow to Larry! (Larry, 0 Life Points. Game Over)

 

Flamin' Larry lost.

 

"I lost," Larry declared. "So...now wha-" He collapsed, falling on the sharp and pointy rocks.

 

Loppins pushed his glasses farther onto his face, "Another victory."

 

What will happen to Larry? What will become of Roberta? Who will win the duels to come? Why was this chapter so short!? Find out the answers to these questions and less next time on Wild West Bob!

[spoiler=Commentary]

Commentary

 

What's with me and late, laziness? What a procrastinator.

 

Anyways, about the chapter itself. I liked the idea of a Masked Chopper-themed deck myself. It's a weak card and it needs protecting, but use it right and it can be awesome. I've hardly heard anything about it, though, but I don't know whether that's surprising or not, since it needs weak targets or massive support to really get off the ground.

 

And now you know how Larry lost, folks.

 

By the way, only 2 people have voted on that there Wild West Poll. TOO people! Bad grammar was used on purpose back there, y'all! That's how bad our situation is! So, yeah, go leap into action and vote. It only takes one PM and a few moments of your time.

 

[align=center][Today's Featured Card:]

 

Marauding Captain[/align]

[spoiler=Next Cowboy][align=center]It's Sonic Duck versus Drake of the Armed Dragons. What are you supposed to expect?

 

Chapter Nineteen: The Duck and the Dragon!! Harpie Lady: Level 2!!

 

It'll be awesome.[/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

[spoiler=Cowboy Nineteen][align=center]Cowboy Nineteen: The Duck and the Dragon!!

Harpy Lady Deck: Level Two!!

Chapter by Weather Report[/align]

 

Sonic Duck stared at Drake within a Ring of Death, drawing his dragon-themed cads and such. He too soon finished, and then stood idly, staring at the green duck wearing both a scarf and a bucket. Sonic Duck suddenly straightened the bucket on his head; it was leaning a bit. “Dah!!” Drake gasped. How can he just sit there, wearing a BUCKET, AND A SCARF?! he wondered. It just don’t make sense!

 

“Well?” he finally asked. Sonic Duck flinched. “We’re playing a CARD GAME, remember?” Sonic Duck stared at him and blinked. What’s with this duck? “What’s with you, duck?” he asked the duck. “Can’t you understand English?”

“Quack quack quah quack.”

“That’s it! I’m going first NOW!” Drake furiously studied his hand. Masked Dragon, Tune Warrior, Super Rejuvenation, Burst Breath and Call of the Haunted. Great, this is good, I think. I’ll set my Masked Dragon in order to summon Armed Dragon Level Five after leveling up my Level Three. Then I’ll use Burst Breath to clear the field, use Call of the Haunted to bring him back, then Tune him with Tune Warrior to Synchro Summon my big dragon with eight stars. I’ll end the turn with Super Rejuvenation to draw three cards! It’s perfect.

 

Sonic Duck had finally taken out his Duel Disk and strapped it onto his arm. Wing. Whatever. “Quah,” he quacked.

“Good, eh, you’re ready, right?” But Sonic Duck paid no heed as he reached within his feathers and found three decks. He patted around in his fuzzy down and grabbed one. The level two deck’ll do, since the level one didn’t seem to beat Bob, and that guy looks almost as strong as he is, Sonic Duck thought. He’ll rue the day he faced… one of the legendary beasts… that’s me.

 

He put it into his duelin’ gauntlet. “Good. DUEL!!”

“QUACK!!” (Drake: 4000 Life Points, Sonic Duck: 4000 Life Points)

“I wish you’d say ‘Duel’. Anyways, I’ll set four cards and end my turn.” Drake set down his three Spell/Traps with a sort of smug confidence. His Masked Dragon lay in wait to be attacked, and then…

 

“Quah quack quack quah. Quah, quah quack quack quah quah quack quack. Quah quah, quack, quah quah, quack quah, QUACK!!”

“Eh, what?” But he didn’t have to read his ducky lips to see what he was planning. The ring of death digitally became a cool valley, where some Ojamas were being HUNTED down by HARPY LADIES in the background. Hearing their occasional screams was relaxing.

 

One of the Harpies flew over, carrying a really big FEATHER DUSTER. “OH NO!!” Drake gasped!

“Clean clean clean, yeah,” Harpy Lady sang, smashing his cards into dust! “All clean!” she congratulated herself, barely glancing at the wreckage she’d just created. She flew away. Then lastly, a blue harpy MAN appeared, and heard an Ojama Green getting ripped into shreds.

“It reminds me of home,” he sighed in a cool, relatable voice, gaining 200 Attack Points in the process. He studied Drake’s field. “Hey, no Spells or Traps!” He took out a gun and SHOT Drake with SONIC bullets.

“Ow, ooh, ow,” Drake groaned. (Drake: 2500 Life Points) “Shouldn’t that guy have only 1300 Attack Points?”

“Quah quack.”

“Oh, yeah,” Drake muttered, looking back at the HUNTING GROUND behind him. Also Sonic Duck set a trap card.

 

“Hmph, my turn now!” Drake exclaimed. Tune Warrior, a red radio robot, leaped onto Drake’s field with some flourish. “I summon Tune Warrior and Tune it with my Masked Dragon to Synchro Summon Iron Chain Dragon.”

“Quah?!”

“It’s a rule… from the future.”

“Quah. Quah?!”

 

The face-down dragon flipped face-up, revealing itself to be a great dragon with a nice mask! “Hee hee hee!” it laughed evilly! Then the radio robot plugged in its plug-arm into its’ face!

“SHUT!! UP!!” the robot ordered! Then they turned into six orbs and three magic rings, respectively, and flew into the air and fused together majestically!

 

[align=center]Wait, do I have to

Write another haiku? Aw,

I don’t want to. Um.

~IRON CHAIN DRAGON~[/align]

 

A dragon made out of iron chains appeared. “Rawr,” he roared.

“When my Dragon inflicts damage,” Drake explained, “you have to discard the top three cards of your deck. Iron Chain Attack.” Drake’s dragon threw a chain link at Sonic Shooter. It bounced off of his head, which he then grasped as if it were snapping in half.

“Ooooooww,” he seethed. Then he blew up! (Sonic Duck: 3200 Life Points)

“Quack,” Sonic Duck said, discarding three cards, which just HAPPENED to be HARPY LADY 1, HARPY LADY 2, and Raiza, the Storm Monarch. No, not really, it was Harpy Lady 3. Just messin’ with ya, guys.

“Your turn,” Drake beckoned.

“Quah quack.” A monster and two Traps were set.

“That was quick.

 

“I summon Ko’kai Meiru Drago.” The familiar crystal dragon appeared.

“YEOOOOOW!!” screamed an Ojama Yellow, being carried off by a Harpy Lady 2’s talons.

“Woah, okay. Now attack, Core Cruise, Iron Chain Attack.”

“Quack! Quah quah quack!” Sonic Duck’s Threatening Roar Trap activated! It flew right in front of Iron Chain Dragon, whose chain link was all set to fly! Meanwhile, Ko’kai Meiru Drago cruised right on by and into the face-down monster. It was actually… A FLYING KIMAKIRI #1!!

“BZZZZ,” it buzzed.

“GOBBGOBBGOBBGULP,” Ko’kai Meiru Drago said, eating it.

“Quah quah quack.”

“Bleh!” The dragon spat out a boy! He had brown hair and clothing, and looked to be a WHIRLWIND PRODIGY.

“Hey don’t eat me!” he ordered. Iron Chain Dragon held out a chain link.

“ROOOOOOOAR!!” Threatening Roar roared! Iron Chain Dragon put his chain away.

“Well, that’s all, I guess,” Drake sighed.

 

“QUAH QUACK!!” Sonic Duck’s Whirlwind Prodigy flew into the air via whirlwind!

“WHEEEEEEE!” he laughed. But he sure wasn’t laughing when he counted as two sacrifices for the Tribute Summon of Harpie’s Pet Dragon!

“RAAAHR, I’M THE PET DRAGON!” he roared in a nasally voice-tone.

 

Then Sonic Duck’s Trap card, Hysteric Party, activated! It featured the three Harpy Sisters… IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE!! Sonic Duck discarded his spare Harpy Lady Two and summoned out ALL THREE DISCARDED BY IRON CHAIN DRAGON!! “OH, IT’S THE HARPY LADIES!! RAHR!!” Harpy’s Pet Dragon laughed. AND HE GREW THREE SIZES BIGGER. AND WAS BUMPED UP TO 3200 ATTACK POINTS. BECAUSE HARPY LADY ONE’S ABILITY ALSO BOOSTS HIM, TOO. And the three ladies looked around.

“Hey, is this our hunting ground?” asked the one with blue, funky hair.

“Hey, I think it IS!” gasped the pink one.

“Let’s party!” suggested the brown-haired one. But they didn’t party, they just gained 200 Attack Points. Finally, Harpie’s Pet Dragon roasted Iron Chain Dragon… with the powah o’ wind, y’all! YEAH!!

“Oh no, it doesn’t burn,” the dragon joked, “but it SURE WINDS!! Ha ha, ow…” He was torn to shreds!

“Aw, man,” Drake whined. (Drake: 1000 Life Points) “How do you get all of those commands from just two quacks?”

“Quack quack,” Sonic Duck said.

 

“Aw, right, it’s my turn.” Drake showed Sonic Duck his Armed Dragon Level Five in his hand.

“Quack?”

“What? If I don’t show it to you, then Drago explodes.” Ko’kai Meiru Drago nodded in agreement. Okay, so the only way to beat that dragon right now is to beat the Harpies first, Drake thought. “I tribute’m, then use Fifth Flame.” The crystally dragon exploded into shards and was replaced by Armed Dragon Level Five, as was expected!! Then it spat out a fireball. How usual. It burned away Harpy Lady 1!!

“OH NO SHE DIED!!” Harpie’s Pet Dragon gasped, shrinking one size that day.

“NOOOO!!” Harpy Lady Three cried!

“SIS, AAARGH!!” Harpy Lady Two cried!

“QUAAAAAACK!!” Sonic Duck cried! (Sonic Duck: 2800 Life Points)

“Hey, why didn’t you attack with Harpy Lady 1 last turn?” Drake asked.

“QUAH QUAAAAAcK!!” Sonic Duck retorted! He activated his Monster Reborn card! Harpy Lady 1 rose from the grave!

“Oh, hey sis,” Harpy Lady 2 greeted.

“Yo,” #1 replied.

“IT’S A MIRACLE!!” Harpie’s Pet Dragon jubilantly cried, growing another size that day. Then he sat on top of Armed Dragon Level Five and the Harpies all beat up Drake a bit.

“Ow,” he grunted. (Drake: 0 Life Points. GAME OVER) “That wasn’t quite so fair, getting to attack with all of them after I ran out of life points.”

“QUACK QUAH!!” And with that, the flames collapsed on top of Drake, and he fell into a deep, deep nap.

 

 

Sonic Duck was free, Drake was snoring loudly, and all was right with the world. EXCEPT THAT D.D. DAN WAS SIPPING COFFEE WITH MASKED CHOPPIN’ LOPPINS AND FLAMIN’ LARRY WAS SITTING ON THE GROUND, ASLEEP AND STUFF!! “Eh, I know you’re supposed to be my enemy and all,” Loppins said, “but I SURE am glad I got o use this time to talk to you.”

“Same here,” Dan agreed.

 

Suddenly Sonic Duck bit Loppins’ nose! “OW HEY GET OFF!!” he roared, pulling the duck from his nose and throwing him away as fast as physically possible!

“That’s kinda funny,” Dan noticed, “the duck shouldn’t have won, really…”

And suddenly, the two other pillars of flame fell! And the survivors were

 

[align=center][spoiler=Commentary:]

Do you like how I suddenly ended that chapter? How about how Sonic Duck just became a lethal joke character? Or that I really can’t update this every week, especially since I had exams this week? Well, that’s all for today. Also this chapter is short.

 

Merry… Hanukkah.

 

 

[spoiler=Today’s Featured Card:]

Harpie’s Pet Dragon

[/align]

 

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

Too many caps. Harpies are win, though.

 

Sonic Duck =/= ensemble darkhorse. Just a warning.

[Nexev]

Sonic duck has three decks. Gasp!

 

It's that guy who limits himself because he is so badass.

 

I think he was from Yu Yu Hakuso. The younger Tourago brother?

 

Yeah that was it.

 

Trident Dragon's haiku was way cooler though.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Hoorah! I have at least TWO readers!!

 

To Evangelion-guy: I overdid the capitals on purpose, and I've realized that it's usually the delightful comedy guy that Americans and other Westerners like the best.

 

To The World Ends With You final boss with Water Flans: Sonic Duck IS one of the legendary beasts, so he HAS to be bad-ass! And also Yu-Yu Hakusho was one of my favorite Jump titles. It ended last month, that makes me want to listen to some depressing music!! Okay, maybe not THIS depressing.

[Nexev]

Yeah but even so think about it.

 

Sonic duck is so incredibly powerful he had to make two decks intentionally bad.

 

he is so bad-ass he has to limit himself or he would be so great at a children card game that it could be dangerous.

[Guest Supreme Gamesmaster]

@Nexev: That sounds an awful lot like a certain incredibly annoying bastard from Bleach. If you're limiting yourself to give your opponents a chance, you're probably appropriately smug. -.-

 

@Story: "Rule from the future" is epic. Soon people will be justifying blatant cheating with "rule from the future."

[Nexev]

Kenpachi is just in love with battle. He'd rather have a long fight which he loses than a fight he easily wins.

 

Plus Sonic Duck isn't arrogant, it's probably some rule legendary animals have.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Yes. If you win all the time, then the game is no longer fun to everybody. The Legendary Beast Mission... is secret, but it'll get released sometime.

 

And I thought about how odd Synchro Summons would be in the Old West, so I thought long and hard about some way to get it to make sense. "Rule from the future" is said way.