Wild West Bob: A Yu-Gi-Oh! Saga(12/16: Sonic Duck duels!)

[eyeofthedeck]

It's Sunday now, what time roughly will the next cowboy be up?

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, in America, it's Saturday. It's gonna be a longer chapter than usual, so you may have to wait two days for it. Hopefully, I can type that, work on a Geography project, and start a Science project all in one day. *whimper*

[Weather Report - Stand]

Well, a new chapter is in the making... or typing... and I want to remind you all about THE POLL!! It will help us know what to do more of in the future and how to un-crappify some things, along with the fact that polls are just good clean fun. SO VOTE FOR STUFF DESCRIBED ON CHAPTER TEN!!

 

Also, check this topic out. It's important. PLEEZ

[Weather Report - Stand]

I like Armed Dragons almost as much as Ancient Gears, and that's my number one archetype.

 

[spoiler=Cowboy Eleven][align=center] Cowboy Eleven: The Mysterious Duelist and the Desert Challenge!!

chapter by weather report[/align]

 

“Grr… that sunova dead person!” Bob fumed, in the middle of the Nevada Desert. Just earlier, he’d gotten really surprised by Bill’s sudden disappearance.

 

”Woah!” he’d said. “Why’s there this major hole in the wall?!”

“Oh, Jenny the Magician blew up the wall and let Zombie Bill out,” Big Anchor replied from inside his cell. “Then some weirdo in a cloak left a note.”

Bob held up a note written SO badly that all he could read was ‘so meet me in the Nevada Desert by the Huge Rock.’ “Thanks. What did this ‘weirdo’ look like?” Bob asked.

“Erm… a weirdo.”

 

Bob looked around until he saw the legendary “Huge Rock”. It was so big that it was rumored to be a butte. It’s a geographical term with no relation to butts, I assure you. He sat down and waited for a few minutes, and then he stood up.

“Where could Jenny the Magician and the weirdo be? Maybe Bill’s with them too. Or the weirdo’s operating independently and has nothing to do with them?” Suddenly, an idea struck him like lightning. “A-ha!” He smacked his fist into his palm. “He MUST be on the OTHER side of the rock!” Bob rushed to the other side.

 

In reality, a cloaked dude was on top of the Huge Rock. He had blonde hair, and looked like D. D. Survivor. “What’s taking him so long?” he asked himself, looking down upon Bob. “When’s the other one coming? I can’t wait for their duel any longer, it’ll be a waste of a plan.”

 

Then Bob finally made his way over to a husky, red, cloaked behemoth. “Hey, you’re that weirdo from the jail break-out?”

The gu woke up from a blissful nap in the sand. “Oh, uh… I thought that you’d think I broke some guy out. If I lured and beat the sheriff of West Town, then the others would be easy pickings for the take-over. All a part of the plan…”

“Why’re you telling me this? Anyways, you don’t have Zombie Bill with you?”

“Bill? Oh well, let’s just play a simple…” The guy tore off his cloak suddenly, revealing that he LOOKED like an ARMED DRAGON!! With a grey-and-red duel disk. “… CARD GAME.” He concluded. “I’m Drake of the Armed Dragons,” he continued, in his gruff voice. “Don’t ‘ya wanna play?” A large black ring of doom fire appeared around the duelists! It was really just a dark purple, but don’t tell anybody that.

“What’s this?!” Bob gasped! “I won’t have any cheatin’ in MY state! And that INCLUDES killing people with fire so that you automatically win!”

“This is the Ring of Death. If you lose…”

“I… die?” Bob gasped!

“No, you just fall asleep and I get to steal your deck,” Drake admitted, waving his big fist from side to side for no reason. “But I can’t fall asleep; I just took a nap. I’m ALL rested up! Plus, you can’t leave until you play, so get ready.”

 

A single drop of sweat plunged off of Bob’s forehead.

“Let’s go.” He took his deck out of his deck box on his belt and stuck it into his duel disk he removed from under his vest.

“DUEL!!”

(Bob: 4000 Life Points)

(Drake: 4000 Life Points)

“I’ll go first,” Bob sighed. I need to play it safe in the beginning, he told himself. “I set a monster and end my turn.”

 

The blondie stared upon the game intently. “So it’s begun, hm? Let’s see Drake win this one for a change. Fatso.”

Drake stared unhappily at his hand. “My hand stinks. I’ll just summon Core Chimair—I mean, Koa’ki Meiru Drago.” A crystalline dragon sat in front of its summoner and shone darkly due to the dark arena. “Now, kill his monster. And just so you know, he negates Dark and Light Special Summons. And he dies if I don’t show a Dragon in my hand during my Standby Phases. So, Core Cruise. Then I end.”

“Wroooooar.” The drago(n) dive-bombed the face-down monster.

“Since you attacked my Giant Rat, I can Special Summon an Earth monster from my deck!” Bob yelled. Giant Rat flipped over on his back and his stomach exploded. Enraged Muka Muka, a stony, short, creepy… thing broke through the rat’s belly as insects arrived to eat up the corpse, bones and all.

“What’s that monster do?” Drake asked.

“Enraged Muka Muka gains 400 Attack Points for every card in my hand, and that added up with his 1200 Attack Points he starts out with…”

 

Drake looked at his hand. “Aw, shoot. Uh… well, I just said I ended my turn… oops.”

“’Oops’ is right!” Bob drew and then summoned… “Wandering Mummy! My Muka Muka has 3200 Attack Points, and my mummy has 1500…” A tired-looking mummy stood up. It was kinda falling apart and panting heavily. “Muka Muka, kill Koa’ki Meiru Drago with Krazy Krush!” The angry rock-thing jumped into the air and disappeared from sight.

“What’s going on?” Drake asked.

“ROOYAN!!” The beast fell down, holding a HUGE boulder! It crushed the dragon!

“Oof!” (Drake: 2700 Life Points)

“Now, Mummy Splap!” The mummy grabbed his sagging arm, held in place only by some bandages, and threw it at the opponent. It ‘splapped’ Drake holographically!

“Argh, it’s supposed to hurt!!” (Drake: 1200 Life Points) Bob looked quite sure of himself now as the Mummy tugged his arm back into place.

“Now I can flip my mummy face-down during my Main Phase Two and set a card face-down. End turn.” Now a second card sat next to the first one.

 

Drake slowly drew his next card, and his eyes lit up when he saw it. “Hoo, boy,” D. D. Dude said, “He’s gonna make his startling comeback now, right?” This guy is getting on my nerves…

“I Normal Summon Armed Dragon Level Three.” A cute, pinkish baby dragon brightened up the otherwise lonely field.

“Either you’re stupid… or you’re mounting some sort of counterattack,” Bob grunted, seriously.

“That’s true. I activate the card I just drew: Level Up.” The dragon burped and began to grow and change colors. “I can discard him to Special Summon Armed Dragon Level FIVE.

 

Bob stared blankly.

 

“Shouldn’t you be afraid or something?”

“… You’re the SECOND freak I’ve met who resembles a monster,” Bob sighed. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I like them. Now I’ll set two cards…” He did so, setting The Dragon’s Bead and A Wingbeat of Giant Dragon. “…and now I’ll use Hammer Shot! Heh heh.” The Muka Muka got crushed by a random hammer and was crushed.

“Dang!” Bob cursed.

“Now—Fifth Flame!!”

“BWOH!!” The dragon burped out a blazing core of PAIN!!

“Argh!” Bob’s mummy was sploded by the flames, even though he was face-down!

“And finally my dragon can level up once more at my End Phase,” Drake announced! “Come forth, Armed Dragon Level SEVEN!” The dragon grew again into an awesome, vermillion, bladed dragon of death.

“RAAAAWR!!” it bellowed!

“Wow,” Bob whispered. “Since it’s your End Phase, I’ll activate Call of the Haunted! I’ll Special Summon my Mummy from the grave!” Wandering Mummy grew out of the ground and a lot of smoky spirits surrounded him.

“Oh. Okay, well it’s your turn now.”

 

“I’ll set a monster and flip my Mummy face-down!” Bob’s mummy fell over again and another face-down monster appeared. What can this big dragon-guy do? This is gonna be tough, especially since I didn’t put any cards that’ll return him into the hand today, darn it. But wait! For no apparent reason I added three Forbidden Chalice cards into my deck today! “I’ll set another card and I’ll end my turn.”

 

“I’ll begin my turn by Special Summoning ARMED DRAGON LEVEL TEN.” His dragon evolved for the last time into a gigantic, flaming metal death dragon. OF DEATH!! With each breath, smoke spewed out of its nostrils. “I can discard a card from my hand in order to destroy all of your monsters! And I will!”

“Not! I activate Forbidden Chalice!” His spell card flipped up and a lady appeared, holding a golden cup. “It adds 400 Attack to your monster, but negates its effect!” The lady threw the cup at the dragon, making it feel small and powerless.

“Aww…” he sighed.

“Gosh darnit! I’ll… end my turn. But heed my words: you’ll run out of cards like that SOMEDAY!!”

 

“I set two more cards and I’ll end my turn.”

“My turn… yeah!” Drake yelled! “I Summon—“

“Forbidden Chalice, activate!” The lady appeared and threw another cup at the dragon.

“Come ON, man. I Summon another Koa’ki Meiru Drago and he attacks one of your monsters. The MUMMY. Use Core Cruise.”

“Wroooooar.” It dive-bombed the card and it exploded. I’ll miss that mummy.

“Now, I’ll end my turn.”

 

“Draw!!” Bob drew his next card. “I’ll set a card and a monster.”

“That was short. I’ll tribute my Drago for Horus, the Black Flame Dragon Level Six!” The crystal dragon exploded into a METAL dragon!

“HAAAAAWT!!” it screeched!

“Oh noes!” Bob gasped!

“Now, he attacks a monster with Sixth Sun and I’ll end my turn.”

“HAAAAAAWT!!” Horus shot out a flame orb at a Sand Moth! It completely incinerated it.

“Ow,” it said. It exploded.

Dang, why couldn’t he have just attacked the OTHER one?

“Now I’ll end my turn so he levels up into LEVEL EIGHT.”

“Yeah, now I don’t have to waste my Chalice!”

“Aw, darn it,” Drake sadly growled.

 

The metal phoenix became completely consumed in flames. And then it grew. It became a more dragonic beast crafted out of 100% steel.

“GROOOOOOOH!!” Its roar was deafening.

“My ears!” Bob screamed. “Wait, actually it’s not THAT loud.”

“Okay, I’ll set another monster and end my turn,” Bob said.

“This game is so boring,” D. D. Dude sighed. “DO something already.”

“My turn!” Drake drew an AWESOME CARD. “I summon http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Magna_Drago]Magna Drago!” A cool-looking, but stubby dragon appeared suddenly.

“GRAAW!” it growled.

Bob’s eyes widened. “I ain’t seen that card before.”

“It’s a Tuner monster.”

“Whubba-huh?”

“Hahaha!” D. D. guy laughed. “People from the past are so STUPID!!”

 

“With a Tuner I can do a Synchro Summon.”

“Huh?”

“It’s like a Ritual Summon without the Ritual.”

“Oh.”

“Next I use Monster Reborn to Special Summon Horus from my Graveyard!” Horus Level Six appeared at Drake’s command. Crap, Bob told himself. He can kill me this turn…

“Forbidden Chalice!” Bob called as his last cup was thrown at Armed Dragon.

“I’ll tune my Level Two Magma Dragon to my Level Eight Horus.” The Tuner stupidly flew into Horus and exploded! The burning wreckage turned into three weird orbs that turned into three weird rings that surrounded Horus! Horus began fading away at a new shape took form. Drake recited a Synchro haiku!

[align=center]”Um, some stuff happens.

And, uh, more things happen too.

Erm, do some stuff now,

~TRIDENT DRAGON.”[/align]

 

Upon Drake’s retarded request, a huge three-headed infernal dragon stood at-the-ready.

“WROOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!” the heads roared!

“Holy crappolly! That freak’s big!” Bob yelped.

“And the turn it’s summoned I can discard up to two cards on my side of the field and he can attack up to two more times. I’ll discard my Level Six and one of my Trap Cards.” The dragon simply ate up Horus Level Six and the Dragon’s Bead card.

“GOBGOBGOBGOBGOB!!” It gobbled loudly with its mouths full!

“Now Trident Dragon, use Three-Head Attack on his face downs.” The dragon thrust its head at a hidden monster Bob controlled.

“YES!! You fell for it!” Bob pointed skyward in an awesome fashion! “Legendary Jujitsu Master, get rid of him for good!” Yes, the pirate martial artist appeared and grasped the nose of the dragon!

 

“Grrr….AAAAAAH!!” He PICKED UP THE ENTIRE DRAGON AND HELD IT OVER HIS HEAD.

“NO WAAAAAAY,” Drake said. “IT CAN’T BEEEEEE.”

“YES WAY!! When you attack my Legendary Jujitsu Master, the attacker is sent back on top of the deck! In your case, the Fusion Deck… I mean Synchro Deck!”

“No, it’s just called the Extra Deck now.”

“Thanks,” Bob thanked. “PIRATE TOOOOOOOSS!!”

“Urrrrgh…” The Jujitsu Master was starting to fall apart due to the intense weight of the dragon. “YAH!” He finally threw the dragon away, into outer space and out of sight forever.

“Rawr! RAWR! RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH…” The dragon left the atmosphere with a sparkle. Then the pirate crumbled into dust.

“Farewell, Pirate Martial Artist Man.” Bob quietly saluted him.

”Yargh,”

 

“Well, Armed Dragon, attack his other monster!”Drake ordered! “Meteor Ten!”

“RAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!” Armed Dragon held his arms into the air and the Earth began shaking.

“Well, this oughta be good,” D. D. Dude laughed.

“What in Sam Hill is goin’ on now?” Bob asked. Ten flaming meteors fell from the sky, all aimed at Bob’s last monster.

“Die, face-down monster, die,” Drake ordered.

“No.” The card flipped up and held up the first of the meteors falling upon him. Then the others began piling up on each other. In the end, he was holding up every last meteor falling upon him. THE SECOND LEGENDARY JUJITSU MASTER HE’D SET THREW ALL OF THEM AT ONCE AT ARMED DRAGON LEVEL TEN, PUSHING HIM BACK ON TOP OF THE DECK.

“Noooooooo, my poweeeeeeers!” it roared, somehow in English.

“M-m-my Dragon monsters!” Drake exclaimed! “You set TWO of the same monster?! That should have made it even less awesome, but it didn’t!”

“AND your field is totally open now!” Bob noted!

“I… end my turn?”

“And I activate my Trap card, Call of the Haunted! Again!” His Wandering Mummy appeared once more, bent on revenge. “Attack!”

“Rar,” it growled, throwing its arm at Drake!

“No, I lost.” (Drake: 0 Life Points. GAME OVER)

 

The dark ring surrounding both players started closing in. “What now?” Bob gasped! It simply went through Bob and closed in on Drake as the holograms disappeared. It finally closed in around his forehead and he fell over.

“No!” he roared, like a dragon, of course. “You’re… no… I’m not supposed to fall… asleep. You’re not… gettin’ my… dragons!” Drake used the last of his powers to hold up a purple crystal. It glimmered before a mystical portal appeared under Drake and absorbed him.

“Wait!” Bob called. “I’ve got some questions for you!” But Drake kept slowly slipping through, until he suddenly just fell in.

“Aaaaaaaaaahhh… ow.” He hit something before the portal faded away.

 

Bob stood for a minute, considering what had just happened. “Meh.” He began walking back to West Town. “That was dumb.”

 

The dude on the rock sat in a thinking pose, rubbing his chin. “This guy’ll be a lot of trouble sooner or later…”

 

[spoiler=Commentary]

HOLY CRAP! We’ve met another two freaks based after real cards! All people like that are weird! WEIRD!! But now we learn that Synchros still exist, even if they weren’t invented for another *insert a number of years* later. Wait, will Yu-Gi-Oh be around for hundreds of years? Is it THAT addicting? In fact, when does 5D’s even TAKE PLACE?! Is the security guard the same as the guy Yugi met early on in his reign as Game King? Man, that show’s awesome, but so F-ed up! Happy Arbor Day(P.S. The Ring of Death only puts people to the sleep because 4Kids got to it first).

 

[spoiler=Today’s Featured Card][align=center]Today’s Featured Card:

Armed Dragon Level Ten[/align]

 

[spoiler=NEXT COWBOY:][align=center]Next Cowboy

 

It’s a three-on-one duel! A battle of the ages! Can Willie take the challenge, or will he lose his fairly good cards!?

 

Find out in the nail-biting cowboy Twelve: Four Man Teamup!! A One-Sided Battle…or is it!?[/align]

 

 

 

[eyeofthedeck]

Awesome. Plain Awesome. Ownage. Awesomness. Call it what you want, it all described that cowboy.

[Weather Report - Stand]

That was the point P_P Wow, I have no idea what kind of smiley that if.

[eyeofthedeck]

So what time's the next chappyter gonna be uploaded, assuming this is still going?

[Weather Report - Stand]

Kendo Fish kinda sucks, so she's gonna type it up tomorrow, especially since nobody really voted on the big poll thing.

[Kendo Fish]

I kind of suck. But some of you might also kinda suck, for NOT VOTING. KaiKae and eyeofthedeck are awesome for that. Don't YOU wanna be awesome, too!?!?

[spoiler=Cowboy Thirteen][align=center]Cowboy Twelve: Four Man Teamup!!

A One-Sided Battle...or is it!?

chapter by kendo fish[/align]

 

An ominous feeling hung over the Nevaduh Desert that day. Ever since massive amounts of gold had been panned from the West Lake, the plateaus and canyons were hardly touched. The desert was often overlooked, and sometimes a better place for gold hunting than the lake.

 

Pickaxe over his shoulder, Willie walked towards a stone pillar known as the Nevaduh Pillar. He plodded along in heavy, floppy boots. Aside from the vulture's cry and the wind against the sand, all he could hear was himself for a while...

 

"Willie!" a familiar voice cried.

 

"Aah!" He dropped his pickaxe in the sand. When he turned around he saw not only the familiar-sounding Jenny holding a staff, but also Zombie Bill and Flamin' Larry behind her! "You were behind me this whole time, proceeding with complete silence!? B-beautifully!?!? The mood was so serious a-and-"

 

"We didn't follow you! We teleported!" Jenny replied happily.

 

"Bu- ah- buh- WHY!?!?!?"

 

"JUST DUEL!!" Larry shouted.

 

"B-but I-"

 

Larry: 4000 Life Points

Jenny: 4000 Life Points

Bill: 4000 Life Points

Willie: 4000 Life Points

 

"...WHAT is the MEANING OF THIS!?!?" Willie cried, shaking his arms.

 

"We've seen you have nice cards...." Zombie Bill said, "cards that can be traded in for even more cards, or even gold." He grinned.

 

"But I was just about to mine! Don't you think you could have just stolen whatever gold I mine!?"

 

"If you mine any. But, on with the duel! We are doing a 3-on-1 match."

 

"THAT'S NOT BEAUTIFUL - I mean, fair. If it's not fair, I'm not dueling."

 

"Well...how about you get three times the Life Points and three times the turns?"

 

"...Better..."

 

Willie: 12000 Life Points

 

"If you win, as you know," Larry shouted, "we get your cards!!"

 

"And if you lose?"

 

"If we lose, then...uhh..."

 

"I'll give you this penny!" Jenny had a penny!

 

"Then I'm out of this duel, beautifully." He started to walk away.

 

"W-wait!" Bill grabbed him by the shoulder. "Jenny, think of something!"

 

"Uhh, uhh.....uh...I'll inject you with MAGIC POWDER!" She stretched out her words.

 

"Magic powder? Oh, boy! I'd better get myself some of that!" Willie stepped back into the duel!

 

"Thanks, Jenny," whispered Bill.

 

"Magic powder?" Larry murmured, chuckling. "Who would believe that?"

 

"I would! I'll draw first." In his hand were Gagagigo, Familiar Possessed-Eria, Amphibian Beast, Tornado Wall, Salvage and, now, Yomi Ship. "I set one monster and another card! Beautiful end!" Hopefully his ship would get rid of a monster.

 

"I'll go next!" Larry roared. "I'll set two cards too! Heh, heh! No pun intended." The four cards seemed to stare coldly at the opposing ones, like two football teams starting a big match.

 

"I go again!" His trusty Ocean Dragon Lord-Neo Daedalus appeared in his hand! he was hard to summon since this edition required the sacrifice of Levia-Dragon, but powerful. Maybe he should go with a more offensive approach. "I sacrifice my face-down to summon Amphibian Beast!" The card revealed itself to be a wooden boat, which promptly exploded and left a swamp monster in the rubble! "Can I attack Bill?" Willie asked.

 

"Bosh! And by that I mean no. Not until I've had my turn!"

 

"I'm out of this duel."

 

"Wait!" I heard his deck has A Legendary Ocean and Tornado Wall, among others I can't afford to miss... thought Bill. "Alright, attack me."

 

BOOM! (Bill, 1600 LP)

 

"Wait, what?"

 

Jenny showed her hand to Bill and Larry. They whispered and argued for a moment, but eventually she began her turn. "I set a whoppin' three cards! Now I'll Reload!" She reloaded her ancient Egyptian gun! "I get to shuffle these cards into my deck again! Then I can draw two cards! Hm...now I'll set a monster and end my turn!"

 

Willie drew the Mad Lobster! "Go, Gagagigo!" His awesome trusty dinosaur-lizard pal came to the rescue! "Kill - I mean, decrease Bill's Life Points to zero!" Bill looked expectantly at Jenny, mouthing stuff as Gagagigo slowly - but in a cool fashion - charged forth. the hologram punched and defeated him! (Bill, 0 LP)

 

"...SAKURETSU ARMOR!!!!! USE IT, WOMAN!!!!!"

 

"Isn't that only useable when your own monster is attacked?"

 

"Read...the CARD TEXT!!" Bill growled, fists clenched.

 

".....Ohhhh! Sorry!" She blushed.

 

Bill kneeled and sobbed, head in his hands. "Now I have a big losing streak!"

 

"Now, Amphibian Beast! Attack Jenny beautifully!"

 

"That's what Sakuretsu Armor's for! Activate!" Awesome, spiky, silver armor impaled the beast as soon as he approached. "I destroy a monster that declares an attack! Didn't you just hear our conversation?"

 

"Yyyeah, but-"

 

MY TURN!!!" Larry made his draw. As he did, his hair turned increasingly radiant and spiky. "I'll sacrifice my Volcanic Scattershot -" a three-headed dino was destroyed - " for THIS!! Volcanic Hammerer!" It was immediately replaced by a yellow-armored lava man. He roared and stuck his tongue out. "I also activate Backfire!"

 

"Chopchopchop!" Chopman appeared, his lips askew.

 

"I also set a trap! Hammerer, destroy his Gagagigo!" Larry pointed at him in a dramatic fashion.

 

"Rawr!" He whacked a flaming fist into Gagagigo's head, busting his holographic jawbone and making him shatter into a million triangular pieces. (Willie, 10950 LP)

 

"Your swamp monster's next! Oh wait, he's already gone. Never mind, never mind."

 

Willie drew a game-changing card...and set a monster. "I end my turn."

 

Jenny flipped up her signature Skilled Dark Magician! "The Skilled dark Magician! I'm sure you remember him! Attack, Skilled Dark Magic Attack!" His magic staff accidentally hit the ground, making Penguin Soldier appear from under his card! the intense dancing that followed scared Volcanic Hammerer and the magician back into their respective hands! The penguin then died, unfortunately.

 

"WHA!?!?" Larry was gobsmacked. "I hate that penguin!"

 

"Your turn, Willie!"

 

He drew Torrential Tribute! So if I somehow lose, he thought, I'll just use this beautiful card! "I set another card! Next I'll use Salvage!" The Orca Mega-Fortress of Darkness reared its shiny head from below the sand. A crane from its back picked up two sandy cards and dropped them into his hand. "Thanks, Orca!"

 

"Mooooo!" After wiggling and mooing, the giant killer whale dipped undersand once more.

 

"Now I summon Familiar Possessed-Eria!" A blue-haired girl appeared, her eyes dazed and her body possessed by the ghost of Gagagigo. "Attack Larry! Possessed Water Magic Attack!" From her staff came a torrent of water, pouring onto Flamin' Larry's hair!

 

"OUCH!!" (Larry, 2150 LP) "That's it! I'm taking my turn without your consent! I set a card and summon Gaia Soul the Combustible Collective!" What looked like a floating brain with an eye was played, and it stared at Eria coldly. "Now attack her! Earth's Fury!" The collective combusted, exploding violently in the process. Apparently it only defeated Eria and itself in the process. (Willie, 10800 LP) Even with this, Larry's field was nearly cleared. His Life Points were running low, too. He was starting to sweat! "And, uh, I'll activate Spiritual Fire Art-Kurenai!"

 

A red-haired girl appeared in the field, wielding a staff. It was Eria's partner in charming, Hiita! "Hueh!" she grunted, throwing a scroll.

 

"She lets me destroy Hammerer to deal damage equal to his attack points!" Hiita picked up Hammerer and threw him at Willie. He exploded on contact.

 

"Yowch!" (Willie, 8300 LP) "That was a stupid and ugly move!"

 

"I've never heard you say UGLY before. But it's...your turn."

 

Willie drew a card...and that card was Aqua Spirit! "I summon Mad Lobster!" he cried, holding up a card dramatically. Boy, was that lobster angry. It immediately slashed Larry without so much as an "Att" from his master.

 

(Larry, 450 LP) He cringed.

 

"Hang in there, Larry..." Bill said half-heartedly. "Oh, never mind that, just give up already!" After his loss, Bill had been watching from atop a large, rocky ledge.

 

"Nnn...NEVAH!!!" Larry was sweating excessively, under pressure.

 

"Come on, we've lost!"

 

"You don't know that!" Jenny said, enthusiastic and calm. "I could pull out a killer combo and get back at him!"

 

"I end my turn, beautifully. Frankly I, too, think you should give up."

 

"Be quiet or I'll beef your face in," Larry growled.

 

"I think you mean bulldoze," Willie corrected.

 

"And I think you're both wrong! Everyone, stay calm!" Jenny drew her card and began her turn by using it. "I use Magical Stone Excavation! With this, I can discard two cards to retrieve a spell card from the Graveyard!"

 

After she'd discarded two cards, Skilled Dark Magician approached a (hologram of a) small plateau. He positioned himself, then pulled off a rather masterful Magical Blast, shooting a huge blue orb at the thing! From the cloud of smoke they heard, "We did it!" Revealed was a card, drifting into her hand.

 

"...and now I Reload!" She reloaded her ancient Egyptian gun! "I set my last card and end my turn!"

 

Willie drew a Space Mambo! "I'll summon a Space Mambo! Attack! Mambo Smack!"

 

"Mouuoooh," moaned the huge mola mola. It slowly moved into Jenny's face...and painfully.

 

"Ow!" (Jenny, 2300 LP)

 

"Now, Mad Lobster will destroy Larry! Mad Clobber!"

 

"ERRM!!!!!" The lobster clamped one claw around Larry's neck quickly, then ran off cackling.

 

"We've lost...." Larry admitted. (0 LP)

 

"But I haven't!" Jenny cried merrily. Her comrades sighed.

 

And then the duel got boring.

 

"I use Scapegoat!"

 

"I summon Mother Grizzly! Destroy three goats!"

 

"I end my turn, I've got nothing!"

 

"I tribute Space Mambo and Mother Grizzly to summon Levia Dragon-Daedalus!"

 

"But I activate Enemy Controller, destroy my Goat Token and control it!"

 

"But I end my turn, so I get it back!"

 

"I use Pot of Greed! I use Lightning Vortex and discard Magical Dimension to wipe your field!"

 

"I summon Lonefire Blossom and destroy it to summon...Fairy King Truesdale!" Truesdale looked something like Willie, only equipped with a handy staff and fancy multicolored garb. By multicolored I mean the top was green and grasslike in appearance, combined with blue gems. The rest of his not-dress was blue with gold stripes going around it. "Attack! 1804 Championship Wheat Beam!" Fairy King Truesdale's wheat-like staff powered up with the power of wheat, his ill-written lore granting him 2700 ATK...and the fantastic khaki-colored beam flooded the desert with light. And then...there was silence.

 

Until the machines calculated her Life Points. (Jenny, 0 Life Points)

 

"I admit it..I've lost again!"

 

"And now," Willie replied, "to hold up your end of the bargain." He removed his duel disk and pulled up his sleeve. "I hope you have the injection with you." Jenny looked into Willie's eyes with a grin, but was greeted by a serious glare.

 

"Yes! He actually believes it!" Bill chuckled, now next to Larry.

 

"HE DOES! AHAHA!!"

 

"But I actually do carry an injection!"

 

They stared at Jenny for a second. "By that do you mean...opium?" Bill asked.

 

"Wha-no! Of course not! I gave him my word and I'm gonna keep it!"

 

"...Bad guys don't play by the rules." Larry pouted, crossing his arms immaturely.

 

Jenny pulled out a glass needle filled halfway with MAAAGICAL GOLLLDENDUST. She jabbed it painfully into Willie's bone marrow, causing a yelp as the stuff was pushed in. It was all over shortly. "And now it's done! You should now have a RANDOM MAGICAL POWER!"

 

"R-really?"

 

"Maybe. Now let's skedaddle, I'm hungry." Larry and the rest of the Graveyard Gang shrugged off the duel, going back to town to duel a deck or two out of Bobo. WIllie picked up his pickaxe, looked around, and started to mine. And the duel was forgotten.

[spoiler=Commentary][align=center]COMMENTARY

 

WOW I'm lazy.

 

Anyways, just about everyone seems to have their own card counterpart. Zombie Bill and Zombie Master, Bob and Sand Moth (!? or perhaps Sand Gambler, we're not sure), Willie and Fairy King Truesdale and maybe Flamin' Larry and Great Angus, maybe Ultimate Baseball Kid.

 

Well, happy Boxing Day and good night.

 

[Today's Featured Card:]

Salvage[/align]

[spoiler=Next Cowboy...][align=center]Sam does stuff. That's what happens next Cowboy.

 

Cowboy Thirteen: Hero vs. Hero!? Sam Appears!![/align]

 

 

[Nexev]

It's Orca Mega-Fortress of Darkness.

 

Get your aquatic mammal fortifications of evil straight.

[Kendo Fish]

Thankums. I learned. But you'll get the chance to help even more by voting in the Wild West Bob poll. Yo.

[Weather Report - Stand]

Sam does stuff.

[spoiler=Cowboy Thirteen][align=center]Cowboy Thirteen: Hero Vs. Hero?!

Chippie and Sam Step in!

Chapter by Weather Report[/align]

 

Bob rushed through the rain late at night, holding a lantern to guide his way through the darkness. There had been a jail break at the West Town Jail! “How could this have happened?” he asked himself, enraged. He recounted the previous day, when he’d arrested a specific dangerous person. Their duel had lasted TEN WHOLE MINUTES!! “I’ll NEVER get back to sleep before dawn with THAT kinda duel!” he griped.

 

Bob stepped into a humongous puddle in front of the wooden, escapable jail. He noticed a mysterious figure in the darkness! “Awright, you, put ‘yer hands up!!” Bob roared!

“Woah! Oof!” The clumsy shadow slipped into the water quite lamely.

“C’mon! Let’s get outta here,” a younger, child-like voice beckoned. Bob shined his light on them.

“Oh, great.” It was the CHIPMUNK he’d arrested for stealing a cherry pie from Ms. McWoman’s windowsill. Under him was a young man with REALLY spiky hair, a white t-shirt (decorated with a circle pierced by lines like a railroad crossing sign), black jeans and kewl sneakers. He was getting increasingly wet by the second.

“And just who’re you? Your hair won’t be popular for at least a century at best, and I don’t even KNOW when tennis shoes were invented!” Bob heckled.

“Me? I’m Sam Rai.” At the sound of the voice of this odd teen, the clouds separated and the radiant dawn lit the giant puddle spectacularly. How’d he do that, Bob wondered.

“And why’d you have to go and break that hardened criminal chipmunk outta jail? He committed grand pie theft and only needed to serve two days’ time! It’s not that bad!”

“Ididn’tdoit.”

“And another thing; it’s against the law for animals to talk here without a permit!”

 

Sam Rai struggled to his feet and took his duel disk out from his previously unseen Duel Disk Carrying Case Bag™ (a strap that holds a duel disk, really) and attached it onto his arm. “Sorry, but I have to do this. I’m the main character, and time is of the essence. I can’t let you stop me.” Sam let Chippie the chipmunk leap onto his head. “Nothing personal. I just have to stop something from happening today.”

Main character. Main character! MAAAAAIN CHAAAAARAAAAAACHTEEEEEEERRRR!! Bob’s fighting spirit was enflamed, as shown by the fire in his eyes! “WHAAAAAT?! But for the past twelve, almost thirteen characters, my title has gone un-challenged and I’ve done a darn good job of leading the cast! I’M NOT ABOUT TO SUBMIT IT TO YOU!!” His sheriff star suddenly glowed dangerously!

Sam gasped! “Wait, you’re Sherriff Bob Cody!! You’re in terrible danger, and I’ve come to help—“

“NO. I ain’t listenin’ to you until I beat my superiority into you!!” Bob gritted his teeth, balled up his fists, ran towards Sam and yelled, “LET’S DUEL OVER IT!!” He was actually holding cards in his fists.

 

Sam shrugged. “Okay, no mercy then. It’s cool.” He inserted his deck as a good duelist should into his duel disk, colored black-and-white like an Othello board of fate.

“’Cool’?! What’re you talkin’ about?! We’re in the Wild West, it’s ALWAYS hot!” Stupid dumb lingo, Bob mentally grumbled.

“DUEL!!”

(Bob: 4000 Life Points)

(Sam: 4000 Life Points)

“It’s on now, sucka!” Chippie yelled.

This is gonna be a piece o’ stolen pie by the time I’ve found out his strategy. “I’ll start out slow and summon Familiar-Possessed Aussa! I’ll also set a card,” Bob announced!

“QUIET!” some people yelled from their bedrooms. “It’s too early to start all that shoutin’!”

“SORRY!!”

A girl with brown hair and thick glasses, holding a crystal-filled scepter or staff appeared. A large hairy winged rat sat on her and said, “Don’t worry, I’m in control!”

“End turn.”

 

Sam Rai drew Grandmaster of the Six Samurai, Reinforcement of the Army, Six Samurai United, Mirror Force, Enishi, Shien’s Chancellor and Reasoning.

“You ‘kin do it!” Chippie shouted, whilst eating a delicious stolen pie.

“I’m surprised you hadn’t eaten that by now… AAANYWAYS, I’ll activate Reinforcement of the Army!”

“QUIET!!”

“Whoops.” The army inside of the hologram quietly stepped out of the picture and tip-tioed to Sam.

“Roooooooar,” they whispered. They abruptly stopped as Sam searched through his deck.

“This card allows me to add any Level Four of lower Warrior into my hand from my deck,” Sam said. Hefound one and placed it into his hand, as he said. The soldiers nodded in agreement.

“Break!” they shouted softly. Then they faded into nothingness.

“Next,” Sam continued, “I activate Reasoning. It lets me…”

“I know it already, Hero-Boy,” Sam grunted. “I call Level Four.”

“Okay.” A man in a turban with a pipe and a scary face appeared. Everybody besides Sam recoiled from the sight of him. The turban-man pointed at Sam furiously! Sam discarded Reinforcement of the Army, Solemn Judgment, Torrential Tribute, Bottomless Trap Hole and FINALLY drew Great Shogun Shien.

“Wh-where’d you get all of those rare cards?!” Bob exclaimed! “That Solemn Judgment costs hundreds of dollars in today’s market!!”

“I’ll tell you later. However, I obviously can’t summon my monster because I can’t fulfill his Summoning conditions.”

“WHAAAAT?!” Turban-man gasped! He exploded as quietly as possible, but with enough force to blow Chippie away.

“I’ll set two cards and activate Six Samurai United, then summon Hand of the Six Samurai!” A depressing-looking lady in red glared at Bob. Also there was an old photograph of some sort.

“Yeesh,” Bob gasped at the sight of her.

“Then I’ll Special Summon Grandmaster of the Six Samurai, because I control another Samurai already!” The grey-haired old man with the robot eye leapt into action! “Then I’ll tribute my Hand in order to destroy your Aussa!” as he commanded this, two cool spheres hovered over His photograph.

 

Hand of the Six Samurai turned into some sort of large missile inexplicably and flew into Aussa in an actiony fashion!

“Urgh, it’s so actiony!!”

“Grandmaster! Sturiku!!”

“Hi-yah hoo!!” The old man took out his laser blade and came at Bob with all his strength!

“That word wasn’t even Japanese! I use Sakuretsu Armor!” Bob flipped up his Trap! Some guy with spiky armor came out of the card and stood in the old guy’s way! For some reason he kept running until he hit him, exploding on impact.

“Heh heh,” the spiky guy chuckled before going away.

“Mmm, end turn.”

“That turn barely made sense,” Bob shrugged. “Well, I remove my Ausssa from play to Special Summon Gigantes from my hand!” An ogre burst out of the ground!

“MUCHA LUCHA: GIGANTES!!” he quietly roared! His crimson hide was offset by his grey-blue hair, and he wore heavy black armor. His single, gleaming horn matched the color of his crazy eyes, signaling somehow that he could go berserk at any moment!

“Nice…” Sam complimented.

“Then I’ll activate Canyon!” West Town transformed into the awe-inspiring Grand Canyon!

“Ahhhhh…” Chippie screamed, falling into the deep canyon.

“Gigantes, attack! Wrestling Technique!” The ogre jumped toward Sam, intent on putting him into a choke-hold!

“I use Mirror Force.” Sam flipped up one of his Trap cards! A big mirror appeared and Gigantes stared at it. His reflection took out a pistol and shot the real one. “Mirror Force negates an attack and destroys your Attack Position monsters,” Sam explained, as the mirror shattered for no real reason.

“Fine, I set a monster and I’ll end my turn.”

 

Sam drew his next card. “I summon The Six Samurai – Irou.” An intensely purple samurai stood intent on killing his enemies. He had a heavy purple visor which made it hard to see, so he had no idea that he was facing the wrong way. “Then I’ll discard my Six Samurai United card to draw one card for each token on it.” The photo ripped itself in half. Sam drew two Mystical Space Typhoon and The Six Samurai – Zanji. “I’ll use Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy Canyon and revive Chippie!”

“No! It looks so great!” Bob pleaded! A massive tornado ripped the Canyon apart, revealing the town again.

“Ahh!” screamed Chippie, falling from the passing storm.

“They’re holograms, you know,” Sam reminded. “How does that happen to you, Chippie?”

“They ARE?!”

“Now my Irou can automatically kill your face-down monster with his special ability! Blind Swordsman!!” Irou ran backwards to his hidden enemy!

“YUUUUUUUHH!!” Irou yelled, somewhat quietly, unsheathing his purple katana! He sliced the card in half without even flipping it up, and then leaped back into place!

“Your turn,” Sam smiled.

 

“I’ll use Snatch Steal to take your Irou!” Bob exclaimed. A sneaky man ran to Irou and carried him back as if he were just a statue.

“No way. I use my Solemn Judgment to negate your card by paying half of my LP!” Sam retorted, flipping up another Trap card! Some bearded guy and his two lady followers appeared and stopped the thief.

“Aw, man!” the thief cursed! He snapped his fingers in defeat before placing Irou back into place and escaping into the unknown.

(Sam: 2000 Life Points)

LP? What kinda English is HE speakin’? “Not done yet. I summon Sand Moth!”

“Bwaarg,” the grotesque monster growled.

“He’s ugly!” Chippie aaknowledged.

“You are!” Bob responded! “Now I--”

“That hurt my feelings.”

“I use Shield and Sword!” Both monsters glowed red and blue, becoming weaker AND stronger!

“Crap,” Sam muttered under his breath.

“Sand Barf!”

“Bleh.” Sand Moth spat out a ball of sand, aimed at the 1200 Attack samurai.

“Ow!” he said as he was hit.

(Sam: 1200 Life Points)

“Okay, now your Sand Moth is at 1000 Attack Points now, I presume,” Sam noted. He began his next turn!

 

“I summon The Six Samurai – Zanji!” A yellow samurai with a pointed helmet and a laser staff appeared!

“Garr!!” he growled!

“And I’ll also remove my Irou and Hand from my Graveyard in order to Special Summon Enishi, Shien’s Chancellor!” A man in regal robes with samurai-era hair appeared next to him in a thinking pose.

“I don’t approve,” he disapproved.

“Now, STURIIIKU ONE!!” Zanji sliced Sand Moth in half!

What… is up with his accent?! Bob asked himself.

“STU-RI-KU TWO!!’ Enishi stared at Bob with his disapproving eyes.

“I DON’T APPROVE!!” He fired laser eye beams at Bob!

“AARGH, IT FEELS SO NEGATIVE!!”

(Bob: 1000 Life Points)

“I’ll end there.”

 

Bob drew a card that could mean the difference between winning and… not winning. “I activate Level Limit – Area B!” A big green station was erected suddenly, green and covered in techno-energy. And a pyramid. “All Level Four or higher monsters are placed in Defense Position!” All of the enemies crouched down in Defense Position. “I’ll set a monster and end it here. I bet that next turn I’ll draw Megarock Dragon or something and make a comeback. Yeah…

 

“YES!!”

“QUIET, YOUNGSTERS!!”

“Sorry! I use another Reinforcement of the Army card!”

“Roar! Break!”

“Then I’ll summon The Six Samurai – Kamon!” A RED samurai appeared!

“Oh, what next? A PINK samurai?!” Bob yelled in exasperation.

“Well, Hand kinda counted.”

“Aw, shucks.”

“Quiet, you! Sam’s about to win!” Chippie ordered!

“Kamon can destroy a face-up Spell or Trap card, and my Enishi can destroy a monster, but they can’t attack this turn if I do that,” Sam explained.

“WHA?!” Bob stared on in horror as Kamon lit a stick of dynamite! Kamon realized how lit dynamite was, so he lobbed it in terror.

 

The horrible dynamite destroyed the giant Level Limit area!

“Also, Enishi…”

“I DON’T APPROVE!!” The laser beams from his eyes blew up the monster Bob had summoned to keep him safe!

“Zanji, do your thing: STURIKU!!”

“Hyah!” Zanji poked Bob lightly with his laser staff, causing major damage!!

“Yaaaaaaarg!”

(Bob: -800 Life Points. GAME OVER)

 

Bob fell into the puddle as the holographic samurais left the field. “Fine… you and your dumb Narudo ninjas can be the main characters…”

“They’re samurai.”

“Whatever.” Suddenly, a huge blue demonic demon appeared in the horizon! He was too far away, so you couldn’t hear him roar.

“I’m running out of time; it’s Raviel!” Sam groaned.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get the most important deck delivered for you! You take care of Sam,” Chippie explained, running off with some sort of Yu-Gi-Oh deck in his paws!

“Err, what the heck’s goin’ on here?” Bob asked.

“Let’s go. Your adoptive son is in trouble.”

 

[spoiler=Commentary][align=center]COMMENTARY

The drama! The despair! This is the start of the first major story arc. OR IS IT?!

 

More importantly, Bob has been beaten. Sam has suddenly appeared, saving Chippie from two days of jail-time inflicted upon him off-screen. He completely crushed Bob. How badly must he feel.

 

BUT… Raviel, Lord of Phantasms has appeared. Chippie’s delivering a mystery deck. BBBB’s apparently in trouble. What shall happen next?! Tune in next time to kinda find out.

 

TODAY'S FEATURED CARD:

Mystical Space Typhoon (it saved Chippie’s life)[/align]

 

[spoiler=NEXT COWBOY][align=center]NEXT COWBOY

 

Big Bad Baby Boy is in danger…of two weird dudes! Can Bob and his adoptive son win against them!?

 

Cowboy Fourteen: Mysterious Tag Team! Troubled Son![/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

BUMP.

[Nexev]

Why Raviel, he is scary looking and GX already used sacred beasts.

 

Wait, I get it, RAviel is merely a mook controlled by the malevolent Jerry Beans Man.

 

Darn you Jerry Beans Man, darn you to off-screen censored hell!

[Weather Report - Stand]

Actually, we're supposed to have all of you guys really confused until we explain it all in anoher chapter or two. YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE SHOCKED!! And I realized that Raviel was used in GX already, but it's taking all of my power to keep from telling you the reason he's there. Just give it a few weeks.

[Nexev]

No, I already told you its all do to the sceming of Jerry Beans Man.

 

I am a fan fic reder, you are the writer. My belief on the plot is obviously WAAY more accurate than yours.

 

Next your gonna tell me I am not the min character.

[Weather Report - Stand]

No, you are NOT the min(imum) character! That would be Willie, since he's the least popular character so far I think, but he's still cool. You're the Joormin character.

[Kendo Fish]

MAYBE I'll post more often if you VOTE IN THE WILD WEST POLL!!

[spoiler=Cowboy Fourteen][align=center]Cowboy Fourteen: Mysterious Tag Team!

Troubled Son!

chapter by kendo fish[/align]

 

Big Bad Baby Boy woke up early today. Early enough to listen to the JoJo Radio Show! He climbed easily out of his crib and drowsily walked over to the cabinet. BBBB opened the lowest drawer. Inside was a huge radio, one so massive it took up the whole drawer! He switched it on, just in time for the show!

 

The radio tuned itself for a few seconds before shouting, "...the JoJo Radio Show!"

 

BBBB said "Oh, boy!" and ran back to his wooden rocking chair.

 

"Last time on the JoJo Radio Show, our heroes found Diego "Dio" Brando's hiding spot! But will they get there in time!? Find out on today's JOJO RADIO SHOW-show-show-show... It's midnight. Dio has been sleeping soundly...until he transforms! WHOO-WHOO-WHOO-WHOO Now he has taken the form of an outlandish big-eared cat thing! He goes out to the village, stands on a pedestal and says, "Please, sir, may I have some more?" But apparently the lady doesn't like it and whacks him with a newspaper! WAPWAPWAPWAPWAP Now we go to the JoJos, Joseph and Jotaro, who just got the news. A half moon hangs overhead...ominously! They run to the village! toomtoomtoomtoomtoomtoom And while they're running Jotaro asks his grandfather, "Why would he let himself get hurt like that?" At which his adventurer grandpa responds, "Did it ever occur to you that he WANTED to get hurt!?" Then...silence. DOODOODOOM

 

"WHY did Dio transform and WHY did he WANT to get hurt? WILL they get to his hiding place before he kills Gyro and Johnny in the Kitchen of Death with hus ULTIMATE DEATH MACHINE!? Tune in next week to find out on...the JOJO RADIO SHOW-show-show-show..."

 

"Dat was one o' da best eppysodes yet!"

 

Someone knocked on the door. "Open up, adoptive son! Or whoever else is in there!" It was, unmistakably, Bob. Big Bad did so. "And you're gonna have ta - wait, are you in trouble?"

 

"Nope." He paused. "But the JoJos are!"

 

"Adoptive son, what have I told you about the -"

 

Someone knocked on the door. "Son! Adoptive son! Open up! Why've you got this door locked!?" It was, unmistakably, Bob.

 

"But if HE'S Bob 'n' SHE'S Bob an'..." Big Bad looked confused.

 

"Somethin' FISHY is goin' on here..." Bob slowly approached the door...then kicked it down in a flurry of dust!

 

"Aah! What was duh use o' DAT!?"

 

Someone under the door grunted, pushing the door forward into the bedroom. It wasn't Bob, Sam, or even Bob's clone...it was a guy wearing a flowery, short-sleeved shirt and bermuda shorts! He also had red hair and green eyes, but that's besides the point.

 

"Intimidation, adoptive so - hey, who in tarnation are you? What is with that strange clothing? Looks suspicious to me..."

 

"I thought we were going to Hawaii, not Nevada..." the weird guy grumbled. He got back on his feet and said, "The name's Derrek."

 

"Nobody's endangering MY adoptive son, especially not a boy named Derek..." Bob stepped back and unleashed his duel disk. "Imitating my voice is a criminal act!"

 

"So we're having a...TWO-ON-ONE!?" From under Big Bad Baby Boy's crib crawled...a goth girl! She wore black and gray, along with a long skirt and a perky smile. Her pink eyes were quite striking, actually.

 

Bob and son gasped! "So ah WUZ in danger but ah WUZN'T..."

 

"I knew it..." Bob slid his deck through his disk.

 

"Your chances look slim~" the goth chimed, pulling out her yellow and orange duel disk.. "Unless that talking baby of yours can somehow duel, we'll positively slaughter you!"

 

"But ah CAN!!" BBBB leaped onto his feet, his duel disk suddenly appearing on his wrist.

 

"Adoptive son, I don't want you getting hurt...I mean, I'd dueled Bill before but never THESE dudes!"

 

"Ah don't want YEU getting hurt." And in that short, slightly solemn moment, Bob almost had time to think about his loss...

 

"I'd say you have no choice, myself." Derek unleashed a spiky gray-and-black duel disk of his own! "Let's start already! DUEL!!"

 

Derek: 4000 Life Points

BBBB: 4000 Life Points

Alice: 4000 Life Points

Bob: 4000 Life Points

 

"And I'm going first! Uh..." - he looked at a screen on his disk - "Bob and Big Bad Baby Boy - is that your real name?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Oh, uh, well...watch out, 'cause I put down something in face-down Defense Position! And some other card. Your turn...baby." He spat out the word.

 

"Ah'll use Pot o' Greed!" A despicable mug poofed into existence...and Big Bad promptly dropped it. "Oops." Two cards were left in the rubble. BBBB added them to his hand. "Now ah use Graceful Chariteh!" A crying , stressed-out angel yelled at him before throwing three cards at him. Feeling sorry for her, BBBB gave two cards back. She smiled, then disappeared. "Now ah use Card Trader!" A scary man appeared behind him, constantly tapping Big Bad's shoulder. He wasn't trading any cards...not yet.

 

"And now ah summon King a da Skull Servants! Since ah discarded two Ladies in Wight, mah king gains 2000 attack points!" Two spirit things hovered around KoSS, who smiled and said, "Heh heh heh!"

 

"Turn end. Wait, ah set a card! NOW ah end."

 

"You're smart, baby," Alice spat. The perky-looking goth drew her cards and smiled. "I set a monster. Now I discard Zeradias, Herald of Heaven to add Sanctuary in the Sky to my hand...and I'll use it!" A blue-and-green-and-red angel guy appeared, took out a horn, and blew it. An ancient temple and the clouds it sat on slowly came down to crush him. Latin chanting ensued. "Your turn. hey, I know someone named Bob!" she recalled.

 

"I set a monster AND a trap! End turn!"

 

Derek drew. "I activate Non-Aggression Area!" Two guys appeared. They tried to walk forward out the door, but purple mist dropped down! It formed an angry face!

 

"Waaah! The area's aggressive!" one guy screamed. The mist screeched back in anger. "I mean non-aggressive! Run!" They both ran away in fear.

 

"You two can't summon anything this next turn. And the area's non-aggression is fueled by the deceased and discarded spirit of Sillva, Warlord of Dark World. And according to his effect, when he's discarded I get to summon him! A bird in the hand, the grass is greener on the other man's bush!"

 

"Is that a movie title?" Alice asked, confused.

 

"No..."

 

A man-like demon appeared on his side of the field! His head looked skeletal, and his shoulders were covered with the feathers of his enemies. On each hand was a saber, which he used to cut off said feathers. Oh, and he also had wings.

 

"Attack King! Warrior's Blade!"

 

"Gurg!" he said in a deep voice, lunging at KoSS and slaughtering him with his blades of doom.

 

"Dat's bad..." (BBBB, 3700 Life Points)

 

In the midst of all this ferocious dueling, Bob had forgotten all about Sam and the duel from earlier. He was finally beaten! He hadn't been beaten once since he was six years old, and back then he was horrible! That's why he was the sheriff, right? And if he could be bested, did that mean he wasn't good enough?

 

"...a card! Ah end mah turn!"

 

"huhwhat?" Bob was brought back to the duel.

 

"Ah...traded Shinin' Angel fer Polehmuryzashun," Big Bad explained. "With Card Trader."

 

"And it's my turn!" Alice shouted. "I set another monster and a card. Your turn...Bob."

 

"I set a card and end."

 

Big Bad Baby Boy's eyes widened. He'd just said "end" instead of "end turn"! He'd never said THAT before.

 

Derek's turn. "I set a trap or spell, too! I'll also use Card Destruction!"

 

From over each player's shoulder came a mysterious green arm, which proceeded to slap the living cards out of them! "Hey!" BBBB looked to try and spot the culprit. "Carrrrd Traderrrr?" he said, suspicious and aggravated.

 

The trader shrugged. "Wasn't me."

 

"Den HEU wuz it..." BBBB was deep in thought. Just then the hand came back, replaced the cards it stole, patted his shoulder and disappeared. "Hey, thanks - WHAT THE!? Dat's not mah hand! Gimmeh mah hand now! Or ah'll - hey, these cards ain't bad!"

 

"Sorry. I was lying," Card Trader admitted. "But hey, I make a good trade." Card Trader waggled his finger, which was now covered in a glove.

 

"You're not the only one who traded their hand," Bob said.

 

"And I even get an extra card, thanks to discarding Broww, Huntsman of Dark World! I also flip up Dark World Dealings, so everyone discards and draws one card."

 

Card Trader went around the field and traded cards with everyone. There was much bargaining and discussion. As he came to Derek, his eyes widened. "You're trading Gren?"

 

"Yep. And discarding him lets me destroy a spell or trap! I'll choose Baby's face-down!"

 

"Sorry I have to do this to you..." Card Trader pointed at the face-down and yelled, "Begone!" With a little blip the trap disappeared. It was Graceful Revival.

 

"And I'll summon Beiige, Vaguard of Dark World! He'll then attack Baby Boy! Vanguard's Swordspear!"

 

"HEE hee hee!" A purple-and-beige skeletal man who looked like he'd get a kick out of stabbing baby boys was summoned. "Heh HEH!" he yelped as he poked BBBB's eye with his long-handled sword.

 

"Yeeeowwwch!" (BBBB, 2100 LP)

 

"Finish him off! Warrior's Blade!" Derek sounded PUMPED!

 

"Hold yer horses," Bob said. "I activate Ordeal of a Traveler! And when your monster travels in my adoptive son's territory, you have to go through an ordeal or you can't attack! Guess what type of card I have in my left hand," he ordered.

 

"Call that an ordeal? It's a trap!"

 

"WRONG!!" An otherworldly voice shook his room. Sillva was blown back into Derek's hand.

 

"Fine, I end my turn,"

 

Big Bad made his draw. "Now ah'll trade again with Card Trader!" They traded swiftly. BBBB grinned. "Ah set a monster an' a card buhfore usin' Polehmuryzashun! Ah can discard Ojamas Black, Grain 'n' Yellow ta summon Ojama King!"

 

Before them stood a huge, circular...thing, which for some reason was wearing a pair of Speedos below his crown and had a very large nose, like an Ojama I know. He also had eyestalks, like an Ojama I know, but they were small compared to the rest of his body. He had a large mouth, like an Ojama I know. Ojama King's cape looked like a child's blanket. Derek and Alice recoiled, expecting him to say something. Alas, he did not.

 

Alice chuckled. "He looks funny."

 

I don't know want jokes like these endangerin' my adoptive son's life, Bob thought, scanning his hand.

 

"Yer turn, after ah set a card."

 

Derek growled a little "grr". He whispered, "Alice! Didn't you wanna use Solemn Judgement!?"

 

"No. I didn't mean to. Duh!"

 

The fat guy was summoned. Had the tables turned?

 

[spoiler=Commentary][align=center]Commentary

 

Woah. I'm, like, slow at updating. Well, y'know, that sucks.

 

Anyways, Bob is crushed by defeat. Is he still in the game zone!? Can they last!? Can all of these monster fit in one bedroom!?!? Apparently.

 

Well, uhh...seeya.

 

VOTE!!

 

[Today's Featured Card:]

Card Trader[/align]

[spoiler=Next Cowboy....][align=center]NEXT COWBOY

 

Bob and BBBB beat Alice and Derek.

 

Cowboy Fifteen: ?????

 

You'll be glued to your seat.[/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

They'll see you in your nightmares...

[spoiler=Cowboy Fifteen][align=center]Cowboy Fifteen: The Battle of Buffalo Gulch!

Who IS the Mysterious Duelist?

Chapter by Weather Report[/align]

 

Chippie the chipmunk climbed through the thick, greenish trees whilst carrying a mysterious mystery deck for someone. This was hard; even though it was wrapped in plastic, it was larger than Chippie’s head. “Darn, why’d I volunteer for this?” he asked himself. He popped out of the trees into the spooky West Town Graveyard. He scurried over to a log cabin in a random spot and sneaked inside. “Hey lady, I gots you a deck!!” he yelled in a cutesy-type voice.

 

Upon closer inspection, nobody was home, and whoever DID live there, THEY LEFT THE STOVE ON. “Where could that lady BE, then?” Chippie panicked! “Where, where? WHERE?! Oh, here’s a memo.” A nearby memo read, ‘Gone to breakfast at the Buffalo Gulch restaurant. DON’T TRY TO FIND US!! Signed, the Graveyard Gang ’

 

The man who resembled D.D. Survivor, who was mentioned a few chapters ago, was in an old-style hotel room, sitting on his rock-hard bed (actually it was made out of wood. EVEN THE SHEETS). Suddenly, Sam Rai entered his room. “Okay Dan,” he said, “Bob’s on his way to find his son. They’re ready to mobilize, so help out the other four, and you know who I’m talking about.”

“I thought I locked that door,” D.D. Dan noted.

“It doesn’t have a lock.”

“Oh, yeah.” Dan leaped out the window onto a nearby horse tied to a post. He took his duel disk out from his cloak and ran off.

“Now all I have to worry about is Vendetta,” Sam sighed.

 

MEANWHILE, the Graveyard Gang just left the Buffalo Gulch restaurant, happy and full after the special ‘5 AM Rib Special!’ they had every week there. It was a fat, rectangular building constructed out of wood, painted red and green with a buffalo sign slapped on it. “Boy, that was some GOOD ribs!” Flamin’ Larry yelled.

“But barbeque ribs are LOUSY for BREAFAST!” Jenny whined. “Pork rinds are better!”

“Oh well.” Bill shrugged, licking his barbeque-covered fingers. “It was at half price.”

 

Sonic Duck was tied up (with a leash) to a horse post next to a brown mare. “Quah quack?” he whimpered. A nearby sign read ‘No horses allowed… or ducks’.

“Don’t worry, buddy!” Flamin’ Larry took out a doggy bag out from behind his back, labeled ‘DUCKYBAG’. He opened it up and gave Sonic Duck a rib bone. “I saved you the BEST part!”

 

Sonic Duck stared at it in disbelief. Then he took it and began excitedly chewing on it with his… duck teeth. “That’s a weird duck!” Jenny sighed.

“Not as weird as THAT!!” Bill shouted! In front of the beautiful early morning sun, a weird, purple 2-D portal began to appear!

“No, not quite.”

 

The other people upon the street screamed and ran away to hide. A lady that could only be described as a Shadowpriestess Ohm card stepped regally out of the portal. “Finally,” she growled. “We’ve found you.” Behind her, several noticeably young people followed, most of them not even twenty. First was a serious-looking guy in a skull-cap, sweatshirt and jeans, all black as pitch. Then came a dumb-looking guy with a triangular mouth, non-blinking dead fish eyes and a large lab coat. After him, an irate teen in glasses dressed normally (with a high-fashion black vest!) with kinda-spiky brown hair. Following HIM was another serious guy who looked like an urban-wizard with an icy gaze.

 

Then came Drake, Alice and Derek.

 

“Who’re YOU?!” Flamin’ Larry ordered in a dramatically stupid fashion.

“Wait, first, lemmee come lemmee come!!” A girl in some sort of a basic school uniform leaped out of the portal and did a back flip! She landed painfully on her back, but leaped back onto her feet. She wore useless goggles on her head, had intense blonde hair, and it was done in a PANDA hairdo, AND TWO PONYTAILS!!

“Her hairstyle means business!” Jenny whispered in terror.

“Uh, Roberta, stop all that flippin’ and tell me we’re in Hawaii…” Derek asked, self-consciously.

“Nope,” she gladly reassured.

“Idiot,” the guy in glasses chuckled, pushing his slippy eyewear back into place.

“DON’T CALL HIM AN IDIOT!!” roared Drake!

“Hee hee,” Alice giggled.

The lab coat guy stared at his new surroundings as if he’d never seen the wild west before, and the wizard-dude just stood there, bored.

 

“Quiet,” hat man grunted, “Lady Vendetta wants to speak.” Every idiot there quickly shut up.

“Alice and Derek, find Bob and his son,” the shadowpriestess ordered. “Roberta, duel Willy. Drake, Loppins, Moe and John, duel these four. Andrew, help me locate Sam Rai and Different Dimension Dan. Questions?”

“Yeah,” somebody asked, “Can I make a “big damn heroes” moment?” D.D. Dan was on top of Buffalo Gulch! He leaped off onto Sonic Duck’s bucket hat, and he for some reason didn’t get crushed or hurt.

“HIM.” Andrew showed much hatred for the guy. “Lady Vendetta, please let me take care of him for you.”

“If you wish.”

The leader and most of her followers took off. Vendetta to the North, Alice and Derek to the East, and Roberta the blonde to the West.

 

“WHAT’S GOIN’ ON HERE?!” Bill screamed. “I’m so confused!”

“Follow my lead,” Dan told him. “Which one of you five’ll duel me?”

“THAT’S your lead?” Jenny asked.

“I—“

“I will,” John the wizard interrupted.

“Fine,” Andrew said, accepting his fate. “Zombie Bill, I will duel you instead.”

“Uh, alright.”

“I got the duck,” Drake said.

“I’ve got YOU, Glasses-Fool!” Flamin’ Larry joked.

“You’ll die for insulting… MASKED CHOPPIN’ LOPPINS…” the glasses guy growled menacingly. Sonic Duck and Larry began laughing.

“I know we all have dumb name puns, but LOPPINS ain’t even a real name!!”

“Quah quack quack!!”

“Grrrrrr!!” Loppins began shaking and turning red!

“Do not make him angry,” the lab-coat guy, Moe informed, “Or else he will—“

 

Loppins quite literally exploded. “I won!” Larry cheered! Then Loppins regenerated right before his eyes.

“You may have won round one, but I shall be the one to win round TWO!” Loppins yelled! He held up a MAGICAL CRYSTAL charged with PURPLE!! Large, purple rings of fire encircled each dueling pair as the sun rose beyond them, shining radiantly, until it was blocked out by the rings growing into massive columns. The duelists couldn’t see, hear, touch, smell, or even taste anything beyond the rings. Not even their allies. Jenny and Moe were stuck into one of these rings together. “Why was I picked last?”

“Because nobody likes you,” Moe said. Jenny shed a single tear.

“Anyways…”

 

“WHAT’S GOIN’ ON?!” Larry roared! “WHERE ARE WE?!’

“In the Ring of Death,” Loppins recited from heart, “Where if you lose, you… don’t die, you just fall asleep.”

“Oh, okay.”

 

“What’s your name?” asked Drake.

“Quah-quah quah-quah quah-QUACK!!” Sonic Duck panicked!!

“Well, I’m Drake of the Armed Dragons.” Little did he know, that Sonic Duck had a trick up his sleeve… LITERALLY! A special deck was hidden in his feathers, and it was about to be unleashed…

 

“Now that we’re all acquainted, I think we’re ready for the game,” D.D. Dan said, getting his game face on.

“Okay then, your funeral.” John and Dan drew their respective cards. “My turn.” (John: 4000 Life Points)

 

“DUEL!!” (Jenny: 4000 Life Points) (Moe: 4000 Life Points)

 

“DUEL!!” (Larry: 4000 Life Points) (Loppins: 4000 Life Points)

 

“DUEL!!” (Bill: 4000 Life Points) (Andrew: 4000 Life Points)

 

“QUAH!!”

“What you said.” (Drake: 4000 Life Points) (Quah-Quah: 4000 Life Points)

 

“I set a card and activate Pot of Greed.” John was suddenly holding an ugly pot, which he threw onto the ground, smashing it. He looked through the holographic wreckage and took out two cards. Great. In just two cards, if I can draw a Kuriboh, then I just may be able to summon Armityle…“Then I’ll set another two cards and summon Crystal Beast Topaz Tiger!”

“Mee-YOW!” A white tiger with some yellow gems on its skin, as well as a random horn, leaped into play!

“Crystal Beast deck…?” Dan inquired.

“Wrong. Your turn.”

 

“Alright, I use Soul Absorption.” As the card image showed up, which featured a guy absorbing too many souls and getting ready to explode, Dan’s body glowed with a dark blue shine. “I bet you know what this card does, right?”

“Just PLAY. I know it.”

“I’ll set a card of my own and summon Dimensional Alchemist!” A cool portal appeared, and a guy in yellow auto-mail armor stepped out, putting on a cloak. “I’ll use his ability to remove the top card of my deck so he can gain 500 Attack Points!” Dimensional Alchemist took out a pair of beakers with different liquids inside. He poured the contents of one into another, and then they began frothing wildly! He threw it away at Dan’s deck, forcing him to remove a card from his deck.

“At least I learned from my mistake,” the alchemist laughed, “And KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!”

“Now attack! Cool Hand Games!” (Dan: 4500 Life Points)

 

The alchemist bent down onto the ground and began slapping it… or was he playing a cool hand game? Suddenly, electricity flowed through the ground, although it usually doesn’t, and a large stone pillar appeared, smashing through Topaz Tiger! “Me-YOWCH!!” He turned into a big fat gem on contact.

“My monster becomes a Spell card when destroyed,” John reminded.

“I know. Your move.” (John: 3800 Life Points)

 

John drew his next card… which was a Kuriboh. Yes… yes… YES!! I can finally summon my ultimate monster… “I set a card face-down,” he called, placing another card next to his first Trap card, “And I’ll summon the almighty Kuriboh!” Kuriboh appeared!

“OOH,” it “ooh”ed.

“I see where this is going.” Dan prepared for something bad.

“Now I activate Multiply!” A card with an evil imp, not a Kuriboh, appeared, and it made the Kuriboh become FIVE!! In Defense Mode.

“I activate Macro Cosmos[/ url] in response.” Dan flipped his Trap card. It had the solar system and some random guy who was in pain. An awe-inspiring graphic of the solar system appeared over the field.

“Crap!” cursed John! The Multiply card was sucked into Dan’s glowing blue body! (Dan: 5000 Life Points)

 

“Well, I’ll sacrifice three Kuriboh tokens in order to Special Summon… RAVIEL, LORD OF PHANTASMS!!” A huge, hulking, colossal, demonic, blue fiend appeared, standing nearly fifty feet tall, and breaking the ceiling of the purple flame arena. Somewhere, maybe Bob and Sam could see him or something. Three Kuribohs, including the original one, flew into Dan’s chest, giving him Life Points due to Soul Absorption. (Dan: 6500 Life Points) “Next,” John continued, “I’ll flip up my three Trap cards, Zoma the Spirit, Metal Reflect Slime,[/ url] Anti-Spell Fragrance![/ url]” An evil zombie gargoyle, weird glob of metal, and fat, ugly incense pot appeared together, staring down Dan. (Dan: 8000 Life Points)“I’ll discard them all to Special Summon Uria, Lord of Searing Flames!![/ url]” The three Trap cards were sucked into Dan without a sound, and a roaring bonfire started up next to Raviel. It expanded, growing into the shape of a massive dragonic beast, emanating heat all over its body, as if it was the sun’s spirit in the form of a monster.

 

“Crap, what else are you gonna do?” Dan asked.

“I’ll now use the card Graceful Charity!” John announced! It’s all riding on luck now… and how I arranged my deck. An angel appeared and gave him three new cards. Then he smiled, giving her two copies of Broww, Huntsman of Dark World[/ url]. She smiled, and left the field. (Dan: 9500 Life Points) “I discarded two copies of Brrow, Huntsman of Dark World, so I can draw two MORE cards. And they’re just the cards I need.” (Dan: 10500 Life Points) John held out three more cards. “I activate two Card Traders.” Two copies of the disturbing Card Trader man appeared, but only for a moment. “I discard them and my Topaz Tiger in order to summon the last of the Sacred Beasts! Come forth, Hamon, Lord of Striking Thunder!![/ url]” (Dan: 12000 Life Points) Lighting struck the field. It took form. It became a nightmarish beast covered in golden armor, glowing just like the lightning it was born from.

“JARAAAAAAAOWWW!!” he screeched. In front of Dan were three massive beasts that many duelists fear late at night. Although it’s really just a game, but this is ruining the tone.

 

“I know what you’re doing, John,” Dan said, “But you realize that even your ultimate monster is too weak to knock me out in one blow.”

“YOU SHUT UP.” John ordered. “I now remove my three beasts from play in order to Special Summon… Armityle, the CHAOS PHANTOM!![/ url]” And Raviel grabbed Uria, digging his talons into its flesh, and bit down into its back.

“GRAAAAARRRRAAAAHH!!!” it screamed! It was helpless to do anything about it. Raviel sucked its blood. As it depleted, absorbed into Raviel, he began to break apart, as if made out of fragile stone. Next, he turned his attention to his other brother, Hamon. He grabbed his shoulders. Hamon struggled to break free, but to no avail. Raviel ripped his arms right off without giving a second thought.

“JAAAAARAAOAAAAAAHHHH!!” he screamed! Raviel plunged his fangs into Hamon’s chest and crushed some sort of glowing orb, which was like his heart, or something close to it. He too broke apart as Raviel’s strength began to surge.

 

Raviel threw his arms into the air and roared. “GRWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!” It was earsplitting to Dan and John, but they didn’t care. Things were about to get worse. Black spirits began to float out from the corpses of his fallen brethren as they faded from existence. They circled him slowly, absorbing into his flesh. Then faster and faster, they grew in numbers and their pace quickened. Raviel grew slowly at first, then his eyes went completely white, blank. He collapsed upon himself, into an orb of compressed evil energies. A scream pierced the air, like a woman dying. Raviel’s head poked out of the cocoon. Then Uria, followed by the wings of Hamon. A serpentine tail stabbed the back of the sphere and broke it apart. Raviel, Hamon and Uria had fused together. Raviel was now winged with gold, armed with a crimson dragon’s head. He floated silently next to the two surviving Kuriboh tokens and stared at Dan, like a predator eyeing its next meal.

 

And Dan gained his life points now, as the fusion material had been removed from play. (Dan: 13500 Life Points)

 

“Now, you have enough Life Points for just two more turns. I’ll end this game swiftly. Armityle,” John looked up at his new demon-servant, brimming with power. “Attack. End of Days. Gain 10,000 Attack Points.” Armityle stared at Dimensional Alchemist. It bent down to his level, onto its chin. The monster stared at it in horror. Suddenly Armityle’s eyes flashed purple. It opened its mouth and screamed at him. Dimensional Alchemist was torn apart slowly, part by part, bit by bit, cell by cell. His armor first, then his skin and muscles. The bones were erased from reality. Lastly came an immense ball of energy from its throat. It spat it out at Dan as the soul of his deceased monster was absorbed. It slowly rolled toward him and exploded, in a burst of white light. All was silent and too bright to comprehend for several seconds. Then it faded and Dan’s Life Points fell. (Dan: 2800 Life Points)

 

“Is that it?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

 

Dan drew his card without missing a beat. “I set a card face-down and Summon Different Dimension Survivor.” A man resembling Dan appeared on the field and simply looked at him foe with indifference. “Next I activate Different Dimension Reincarnation.” A card with a man clawing his way out of a strange, inter-dimensional portal appeared. “I discard a card. Then I’ll Special Summon it.”

“What?”John asked. “Is that even legal?”

“It is; I discard a card, THEN I summon a removed from play monster.” (Dan: 3300 Life Points) A red dragonic-fiend appeared on the field and silently looked on like his ally did. “Gren Maju Da Eiza[/ url]!”

“Wha—“ No, NO! My Armityle has 0 Attack on my turn…

“My Eiza gains 400 Attack for every removed from play card, and that includes my Dimensional Alchemist and the Macro Cosmos he discarded, Pot of Greed, Topaz Tiger, your three Trap monsters, your Kuriboh and Multiply combo, your Graceful Charity, Browws, Card Traders, and lastly, your Sacred Beasts. That’s seventeen cards. Now go, my monsters, attack Armityle, the Chaos Phantom!” D.D. Survivor leaped onto the red beast and it glided through the air to its final enemy. D.D. Survivor leaped off and summoned some sort of anti-space matter sword on his right arm. He flew into Armityle, then sliced through it entirely. It began to fall apart until it began regenerating itself, when Eiza held out its hand. From its pointer finger came a red ball of light. It fired a concentrated laser of dimensional energy into the demon. In short, from this huge energy concentration, it exploded violently, finally defeating John. In two turns.

 

(John: -4600 Life Points. GAME OVER) “NOOOOOOOO!!!!” John’s field was erased and the holographic images all faded away. “This can’t… it can’t end this way!”

“IT JUST DID.” Dan put his cards away and watched the tower of flames shrink until it was about the size of a large headband and it wrapped around John’s head.

“Bu-but-but…” John was silenced as he fell asleep.

 

“Yahoo!!” A small crowd had gathered around the pillars of flame, and began clapping for Dan! He was happy! They were happy! All of the people were happy! And the best part is that now the tone is no longer serious, so the story can continue to make fun of itself! Yay!

“Thanks, thank you,” Dan thanked the townspeople. Then, at that moment, another pillar had faded away.

“AW, CRAP, MAN!” Flamin’ Larry fell onto his side, asleep. The crowd gasped! Loppins had defeated him!

“I told him he was stupid…”

 

[spoiler=Commentary][align=center]COMMENTARY[/center]

MAN, that was real Nightmare Fuel there for a minute. But it’s all better now, back to rainbows and sunshine, since John is too stupid to lay down any protective cards. So, anyways, we get to see what made Raviel, and what he became later on which was so much more horrible. Originally, I just wanted to have him summon him, then Dan use that card with the solar system that kills all monsters and inflicts 300 damage. Grand Convergence. But this way is SO much cooler.

 

Happy LIef Erickson Day! Hinger dinger dergen.

 

In memory of when Spongebob was not retarded.

1999-2004 or something.

 

[spoiler=Today's Featured Card:][align=center]TODAY'S FEATURED CARD:

Armityle the Chaos Phantom

 

 

[spoiler=NEXT COWBOY][align=center]NEXT COWBOY

 

The battle between BBBB, B and the weird dudes rages on! Will Ojama King speak!? [/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

Bumpin' it.

[ThatPhantomGuy]

Aha ha ha ha! I always thought it cool how you can incorperate real duels in a comedic Yu-Gi-Oh! fan fic, awesome. I enjoy your guy's work!

[Weather Report - Stand]

T-t-t-TAAAAAANKS!! Anyways, now that the realistic duel went well with the readers, I guess that we'll have to do a riding duel soon.

[Kendo Fish]

Wow. Just...wow. I suck at updating, don't I?

 

So I'll have to stop this suck soon and post it this week. *slams fist down*

[Kendo Fish]

[spoiler=Cowboy Sixteen][align=center]Cowboy Sixteen: Raging Battle in the Bedroom!

Thrilling Conclusion!

chapter by kendo fish[/align]

 

A fierce battle was raging in Big Bad's room. Everyone paused to see if Ojama King would speak, but he didn''t, so Alice started her turn.

 

"I tribute-"

 

"Heyguyshow'sitgoin'?"

 

"...Okay. So I tribute my face-down Nova Summoner for Airknight Parshath!" As her winged ring flipped up, a centaur knight stomped his hoof on it, thus completely demolishing it and scattering remains everywhere! "He attacks Bob's face-down! Awesome Strike!"

 

The green-faced guy smirked and unsheathed his awesome blade. He jabbed a card with it, which turned out to be Sand Moth! Using his radical hardening sand power the sword was broken in half, but thanks to the forgiveness of the Sanctuary Alice took no Battle Damage!

 

"Turn end."

 

"I'll set two cards and end," Bob said.

 

Derek's eye glistened. "I summon-"

 

"No yeu don't! Not whyle the Ojama Trio's around!" BBBB activated his trap card!

 

"Heeheehoo!"

 

"Hoho!"

 

"Wheee!"

 

Three annoying guys spiraled onto Derek's side of the field and posed. "Now yer field's full, an' dere's nothin' yeu kin do about it!"

 

"I can still Tribute Summon Silvah!: His face-down Renge spontaneously combusted...and Silvah stood in the midst of the smoking rubble! He was back...with a vengeance! "THIS IS FOR THE IDIOTS YOU GAVE ME!!" The Vanguard's Spear stabbed Big Bad's Pyramid Turtle in the face. Its pyramid exploded, revealing that King of Skull Servants was standing on its quickly-decaying body! A whoppin' THREE souls hovered around him now!

 

"Now I activate Solemn Judgement!" Alice cried. A noble-looking guy pointed at the king. KoSS started feeling bad about himself, frowned, and walked out of the bedroom door. (Alice, 2000 Life Points)

 

"Good decision!"

 

"Thanks, Derek!"

 

"Silvah, attack Sand Moth! Warrior's Blade!"

 

"Raah!' He leaped into the air...and froze mid-jump!

 

Bob grinned and said, "You have to go through the traveler's ordeal. Take a guess at which card I'm holding up." Sure enough, his left hand was holding up one of his cards.

 

"Hmph. I'll guess...trap!"

 

"WRONG!!" the otherworldly voice boomed. Silvah moved backward through time, jumping into Derek's hand again.

 

"I have no choice but to end my turn, then."

 

"Den it's mah turn!" Big Bad declared, drawing dramatically. "Ah trade with Card Trader!" The shady masked man happily traded cards. By the looks of it, BBBB was also happy about it. "Ah'll set a card...and summon anudder Kind a da Skull Servants!!"

 

Dark clouds formed within the bedroom. Lightning was their only light, illuminating the king's figure if only for a moment. Gale-force winds blew against the gray mountains, but he held on. Ominous latin chanting ensued, even through the pounding rain. In the flicker of lightning hovered four souls; 4000 Attack Points.

 

"I use Solemn Judgement." (Alice, 1000 LP)

 

BOOM! Lightning flashed and the room turned back to normal in an instant, the King of Skull Servants sobbing in the Graveyard once more.

 

"Oh well. Ah guess it's yer turn now, Alice."

 

She nodded and drew a card. "I use Monster Reborn to summon Herald of Orange Light!" From a portal of orange light emerged a diamond of orange light saddled in a winged robotic suit. It looked like a real wimp. "And I tune it with Airknight Parshath to Synchro Summon...Avenging Knight Parshath!!

 

"In the midst of war,

Parshath comes to save the day!

Rise, avenging knight!

~AVENGING KNIGHT PARSHATH."

 

Upon fusing with the winged crystal, Parshath died...and was reborn as a spirit with huge wings! He unsheathed an even awesomer, long, glowing blade, ready to strike at any moment.

 

"Well, ah use mah Solemn Judgment!" Big Bad exclaimed. Parshath decided the revenge wasn't worth it and decided to pass on to the next world...the Graveyard. "Dat's revenge!"

 

"I guess you're right. But I can still set a card and summon Gellenduo!" A purple humanoid with a white, gooey, deformed face stood on the desk and screeched. "I end my turn."

 

Bob activated his Call of the Haunted! "Using THIS card I'll revive Guardian Sphinx!" Purple mist swept across the field, revealing a sphinx sitting in the crib! A card appeared above it and squished down on the sphinx thus flipping it face-down. "And now that I've flipped it over I activate Desert Sunlight!" A holographic sun holographically broke through the ceiling, holographically. This caused Guardian Sphinx to flip up and start booming, "It's HOOOOOT!!" His voice sent all opposing monsters back to their respective owner's hand! "I also summon another monster, Sand Moth!"

 

"BLARGHARGHARGH." Sand poured ferociously out of Sand Moth's faucet head.

 

"Sand Moth, attack Alice! Sand Barf!"

 

"But wait! I activate Gateway to the Dark World and summon Brron, Mad King of Dark World!" Derek commanded.

 

Sand Moth crawled over to Alice in fast motion. A portal appeared in front of her, and out hopped a gray guy with a cape and spiky hair! he did an evil cackle, knowing he was stronger, and stepped forward. He stepped on a red panel!

 

'He's just triggered my trap, Compulsory Evacuation Device!"

 

"Solemn Judgment," Alice chirped. The king stepped off of the springy panel before it could activate, rendering it useless. (Alice, 500 LP)

 

Since Sand Moth was still going, he bumped into Brron and made his owner lose 800 Life Points! (Bob, 3200 Life Points)

 

"Shookins!" Bob looked quite frazzled by this. "I end."

 

Derek's turn. "I set a monster, and..." He glanced up at the sphinx. "I'll just end my turn."

 

"Mah turn!" BBBB traded cards. "Ah set a monster! End o' mah turn!"

 

A huge mallet appeared over Alice's shoulder, and she posed. "I use Hammer Shot to destroy Ojama King!" She smacked the king on the head, and he simply poofed into a cloud of smoke. Now their card spaces were free of his tubby rule! "And Gellenduo attacks!"

 

"Wait! Guess his card," Bob ordered.

 

A clock ticked before Alice declared, "A monster!"

 

"WRONG!!" That weirdo Gellenduo flew away.

 

"...Then it's Bob's turn."

 

"That was a quick turn cycle, if I do say so myself. I'll activate Level Limit Area - B! The whole bedroom turned dark blue, and the only light source was a giant neon "B" hanging behind Bob! "Only monsters under level four can attack while we're in here. And now I summon Maharaghi." A brown, jar-like doll appeared on the field, emanating with intense spiritual energy. "Now that I've done that, I can look at the top card of my deck...and I'll put it back on the bottom of it. Now I end my turn, and Maharaghi, being a Spirit, goes back to my hand." The doll blew away in the wind, goin' back to the hand. "I'm done."

 

Derek flipped up a despicable jar! Inside sat a one-eyed scaryface with a big, toothy grin. "I flip up the Morphing Jar! Everyone discards their hand and gets five cards in return."

 

Card Trader walked around the field, making card transactions. "Cards comin' round," he moaned.

 

"And thanks to my awesome Dark World cards, I Special Summon Silvah and Beiige! I'll also destroy the Level Limit, courtesy of Gren!" A warlord and a vanguard were summoned. The large B behind the sheriff collapsed and shattered into a million triangular holographic pieces, and with its demise came normal lighting once more. "I then Normal Summon Tribe-Infecting Virus! Then I'll discard Goldd to destroy my Morphing Jar and your Guardian Sphinx!"

 

"BLUEHH!!" Goldd, a bulky yellow demon, picked up the jar guy, walked over to Guardian Sphinx, and blew up, taking them both with him!

 

"I'll set two cards. Now Tribe-Infecting Virus attacks Big Bad Baby Boy! Tribe Infect! And the card is a trap!"

 

"WRONG!!"

 

"Okay, Silvah attacks. And it's a spell!"

 

"WRONG!!"

 

".....Then it's a monster. Beiige attacks his face-down."

 

"WRO--RIGHT!!"

 

"Sweet! I got it right for once!"

 

Beiige stabbed an angel. Said angel was impaled, and soon imploded. In his place stood...Ojama Yellow.

 

"But yeu attacked mah Shinin' Angel!"

 

Derek growled. "Rrrgh. Ojama Yellow is annoying. That makes me feel angry! Dark Core, activate!"

 

"Hee hee!" the long-eyestalked guy chuckled, doing a little stupid dance. Slowly, a floatin' ball of matter came for him! "Aah!" As he scampered away, the core went faster and faster until it expanded and completely engulfed him. The dark core soon dissolved into triangles.

 

"And I end."

 

"Ah trade a card an' use Pot o' Greed! And ah set a monster and a trap! Yer tern."

 

Alice drew confidently. "I sacrifice Brron for another Airnight Parshath!"

 

Card Trader looked around and whispered to Big Bad, "She sure likes that Parshath." The baby could only nod.

 

"And," the Parshath-lover continued, "I use Monster Reborn to re-summon Avenging Knight Parshath!"

 

"Heh," the centaur knight said as he reappeared. At the sight of another, angelic knight, they both said. "Heh."

 

"Attack! It's a tra-"

 

"WRONG!!"

 

"Then it's a spe-"

 

"WRONG!!"

 

"Then...I...end." She looked down in sorrow. What an ordeal.

 

Bob looked into his son's eyes, and his son into his. He knew BBBB had a plan, and decided to go on the defensive.

 

"I'll set three cards. And a monster. That's it." Some cards cruised out onto the carpet.

 

"Your cards aren't gonna last long!" Derek cried. "Heavy Storm!" The card brought forth a vow-filled tornado, blowing away all of the spells/traps...except one. A lady in a blue cloak stood bravely in the midst of it!

 

"I still activate Waboku! Your turn ends here! Heh! Aren't I witty." Bob tilted his hat.

 

"Grr. Fine. Baby's turn."

 

"Ah've got a queshchin," the baby asked innocently.

 

"Yeah, what?"

 

"If we kill one o' yeu, do weh win?"

 

"Uhh...yeah, sure, whatever."

 

Alice shoved him a little and hissed, "Derreee?"

 

"Who's Derree?"

 

"Monster Reborn!" Energy spiraled around Big Bad, and as it cleared it revealed the King of Skull Servants again! He just wouldn't die! And now FIVE souls were flying around him! "Attack Parshaff! Weak Slap!"

 

"Unh!" He slapped Avenging Knight Parshath.

 

There was a massive explosion.

 

As the light faded and the mushroom cloud cleared, so too had the fate of the match. Alice's Life Points were now 0. They had lost.

 

"Oh NOOOOO-" Derek just remembered. The hadn't turned on the Ring of Death! "Hey, good thing we didn't activate that Ring of Death, huh?"

 

"Run for it!? Alice yelled, grabbing his arm!

 

"Oh no you don't!" Quickly, Bob heaved the massive radio above his head, then whacked them both on the head in one fell swoop! They were instantly knocked out cold. They're good at card games, he thought, but abysmal fighters.

 

Putting the radio back in its place Bob said, "Wait here, son, while I get these two dudes locked up. Oh, and that was a good finisher." He smiled and nodded.

 

"Tanks!" BBBB grinned, showing four teeth. "Now ah need'a eat sumthin'." He walked off to the kitchen.

 

Wonder what Sam's up to... Bob pondered, walking slowly through the unhinged door, dragging the bodies out with him.

 

[spoiler=Commentary]

COMMENTARY

 

I'm, like, lazy. And I can be REALLY lazy when it comes to updating. Yeah, well, that really really sucks.

 

AAANYWAYS, vote on the Wild West poll already! D : <

 

The mystery surrounding these dudes isn't being unraveled at all. What's their story!? Find out someday, I suppose.

 

[align=center][Today's Featured Card:]

Card Trader[/align]

[spoiler=Next Cowboy][align=center]NEXT COWBOY

 

It's finally happened. Get ready for 'da rip-roarin'est duel o' da century! We's got 'da first EVER Ridin' Duel! It'll dang near knock yer socks off!![/align]

 

 

[Weather Report - Stand]

So why did nobody else reply to KF's latest cowboy? Anyways, since my NEXT chapter is TWICE as long as an average chapter, as a treat, I'm posting it all at once, but that's next week. WILLIE DUELS BOB... though, it's not quite what you'll be expecting.