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"The Chuck Norris" Facts


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Chuck Norris never went to bed. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Chuck Norris can see the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Oprah, a three legged Horse, and Paris Hilton walk into a bar. Ah, screw it. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked all of 'em.

Chuck Norris won a staring contest against Medusa.

Chuck Norris can grate fresh Parmesan Cheese with his beard.

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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

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In the begging there was nothing in the world, then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and told it "Get a job, you lazy bum!"

Chuck Norris invented the internet, like 30 years ago.

Chuck Norris drinks gasoline and he doesn't get sick.

Chuck Norris always find's waldo.

Chuck Norris got in a fight with Bruce lee and Hulk hogan, But I think you know who won.

Every Saturday Night, Jesus, Chuck Norris, Santa Claus, and Master Chief play Poker.

Chuck Norris Killed Godzilla and saved japan, and guess what he did it blind folded and with one hand tied behind his back.

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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Mr. T, Arnold Shcwarzzenger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest fighters in the world and I have a place for one of you at my right hand. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be." Mr. T steps and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell. Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator. You must choose the governator." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell. God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and say "Your in my seat." Here is my Chuck Norris card [attachment=52908]

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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Mr. T, Arnold Shcwarzzenger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest fighters in the world and I have a place for one of you at my right hand. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be." Mr. T steps and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell. Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator. You must choose the governator." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell. God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and say "Your in my seat." Here is my Chuck Norris card post_257324_1238957746_86ee2d5c9b405c64d83184b39217df06_thumb.attach


On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Mr. T, Arnold Shcwarzzenger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest fighters in the world and I have a place for one of you at my right hand. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be." Mr. T steps and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell. Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator. You must choose the governator." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell. God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and say "Your in my seat." Here is my Chuck Norris card post_257324_1238957746_86ee2d5c9b405c64d83184b39217df06_thumb.attach

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Every time Chuck says: "Let there be ROCK!" rocks fall on his opponents.

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[align=center]Chuck Norris created the Theory of Relativity.

 

Chuck Norris was the original idea of the SSJ3.

 

Chuck Norris is able to create the original KAMEHAMEHA.

 

Chuck Norris is able to create the original FALCON PUNCH!

 

Chuck Norris can beat the crap out of Arceus and God Orochi.

 

Chuck Norris created the universe 3,000 years before he was born.

 

Chuck Norris is awesome.[/align]

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