Jericho Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 [spoiler=Unnamed Poem]I know why the lone wolf howls' date='I know why the lone wolf prowls,I know why the lone wolf cries,It's all alone, and then it dies. [spoiler=Unnamed Poem 2']The loneliness is setting in,My torment will soon begin,When she is sad it makes me cry,To make her happy I would die. Fxd "This is how I feel, I cannot lie" was actually in place of "To make her happy I would die", but I thought it threw off the poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 For her.... Even though I knowThat right now we can't beI thought I should showYou that caring side of me. Even though I knowThat we can't be for longI can't take that blow.But I know that Im not wrong. Even though I knowThat I love you so much.The thought fills me with woe.That all I can think of is such. Even though I knowThat I must compete for youI know that I can't just go.Now, I know more than I knew. Even though I knowThat my passion's not weakIt just hurts so low.And the future looks bleak. Even though I knowThat we were meant to beYou're burned in me, soI try much harder than he... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raelen Posted March 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 [spoiler=For her....] Even though I knowThat right now we can't beI thought I should showYou that caring side of me. Even though I knowThat we can't be for longI can't take that blow.But I know that Im not wrong. Even though I knowThat I love you so much.The thought fills me with woe.That all I can think of is such. Even though I knowThat I must compete for youI know that I can't just go.Now' date=' I know more than I knew. Even though I knowThat my passion's not weakIt just hurts so low.And the future looks bleak. Even though I knowThat we were meant to beYou're burned in me, soI try much harder than he... [/quote'] Um, seems a bit out of rhythm. And the words that you use to rhyme are not the best choices. Maybe do some work on this? @ .:Haruki:.: I like it! I wrote a poem kinda like that, called "Drip." ^_^ @ Supreme GM: You are in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alastar Rainford Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 ya I already know I will use that poem for open mike tomorrow .:Notice:.To the people who are stuck in their Fairy TalesWake up and smell the rosesYour dream is overIn fact it might as well be deadSorry to say but you have no happy endingYou are just going to end up dieing like everyone elseThe shining in your lovers eyes is just greed and envyThey only want you dead like the restSo just give up and surrenderSo says the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raelen Posted March 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 ya I already know I will use that poem for open mike tomorrow .:Notice:.To the people who are stuck in their Fairy TalesWake up and smell the rosesYour dream is overIn fact it might as well be deadSorry to say but you have no happy endingYou are just going to end up dieing like everyone elseThe shining in your lovers eyes is just greed and envyThey only want you dead like the restSo just give up and surrenderSo says the world. Wow! Dark! Hopefully no one commits suicide because of this poem. 0_o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alastar Rainford Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 I hope not because then FBI would come after me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 WHOA, Haruki. That's unreasonably cynical... I mean, sure, everyone's gonna die... but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star Child Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 WHOA' date=' Haruki. That's unreasonably cynical... I mean, sure, everyone's gonna die... but...[/quote']...but they can still have a chance to like life before they die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 In this narrow streetTheres nothing but hate.Nothing to see.No way to relate. Hate is personal.It gets in your face.You dont understand.Just pick up the pace. As much as we cryNothing gets done.At least now we can sayThey lost and we won. But there are no winners.Not in this war.Even though we wonWe never get far. -randomsuckypoem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sid. Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 Head splattered bones bashed Skull and membrane mashedThats me in 40 years pastIts just me trying to hold backMy minds all wackLike the pastor and his own @$$Cuz he cant even afford to own cashThats why i got smashedand i ll still hack at people and steal their crapAnd im still an angel with no hat My minds quick ill always strike backI ll shoot you so quick you wont say "gasp!"Then open a coke and toss the red capAnd make an album with no rap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Blud Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 [align=center][spoiler=[b]The Devil's Glare[/b]]It's dark, I'm looking out my windowStaring at the devil's glareI see two red candles glowingIn the place in which I stare I see his horns erected fromThe bright-red house, which is his skinHis bulky arms are herbless shrubsThat breathe and grow and makes him grin His teeth hang from the front door sillSo palesome white it blinds my stairAnd like my eyes, I feel graspedWithin the claws of thorns that tear I see the hand, then, grasp a staffOf fiery, bloody crimson redThe points in which come off the endI feel it will chop off my head So then I close my bedroom blindsAnd pray to God for all my sinsI realize the devil's goneAnd that this poem is at it's fin. [spoiler=[b]I Stand in the Middle of a War[/b]]I stand in the middle of a warI hear guns and explosions roarAnd all for what? Some complicationsOf politics between a few nations? [/align] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enrise Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 I am sorry for my absence but, I had to be gone, for, certain reasons. Anyways, while I was gone, what has happened? If anything, happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Blud Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 I am sorry for my absence but' date=' I had to be gone, for, certain reasons. Anyways, while I was gone, what has happened? If anything, happened?[/quote'] More poems have been submitted...A lot of 'em. >.> Anywho, I entered my poem 'Glory' into a contest. Think it's worth up to $25,000? ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enrise Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 Well, I guess I'll submit a poem finally: To the depths of my heart,to the back my mindwe are together for this final partbut this is just love of us blind I guess that's all I can come up with right now... Maybe cause I'm too tired... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star Child Posted March 27, 2009 Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 AllIf I use all my strengthIf I use all my intelligenceIf I use all my strategiesIf I use all my heartIt still won't be enough to win i know that this poem isnt all that good but i like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raelen Posted March 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2009 Ooh, nice poems all!! ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huntar! Posted March 28, 2009 Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 People all talk of his legend.Not yet knowing what about.They don't understand a thing.But still no one dares to doubt. His story is told far and wide.It is told to all the children.A false legacy holds no honour.Think of it once and again. But unlike most of themI actually know the truth.None of them even have a clueThat they are the twisted youth. A man brought up upon a lie.Now pays for it, with his life.A liar now without a word.And to all just brings strife. I did not pull a sword from stone.Neither did he, so we believe.But a sword from stone was pulled.How can we yet be so naive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jericho Posted March 28, 2009 Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 I know what I wantFor us will never beI just want you to be happyEven without me If I must leave to see you happyThen that's just what I'll doThat way I can die smilingKnowing you are happy too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 28, 2009 Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 On most of the poems yet shared: Of poetry a poem now I write:For poetry these days, it seems, is rifeWith tales of vile transgressions on what's right;Of misery, of woe, sorrow, and strife! Eventually a poet then demands:For what are such abhorrent things detailed?Doth pleasure not flow through a poet's hands?Is pain all human nature ever hailed? Now I a poem write for happiness:For love, birdsong, for interaction andFor joy as when a baby first is dressedAnd smiling, toddles, holding Mother's hand. Consider joy, when next you're called uponTo write the author's everlasting song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raelen Posted March 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 On most of the poems yet shared: Of poetry a poem now I write:For poetry these days' date=' it seems, is rifeWith tales of vile transgressions on what's right;Of misery, of woe, sorrow, and strife! Eventually a poet then demands:For what are such abhorrent things detailed?Doth pleasure not flow through a poet's hands?Is pain all human nature ever hailed? Now I a poem write for happiness:For love, birdsong, for interaction andFor joy as when a baby first is dressedAnd smiling, toddles, holding Mother's hand. Consider joy, when next you're called uponTo write the author's everlasting song.[/quote'] Very nice! I love the older language! Great one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 28, 2009 Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 Thank you very much. ^_^ Sonnets are really hard; makes you appreciate Shakespeare all the better. @Hunter: I really like it, but there are some extra words in there that, again, detract from the meaning and throw off the meter (example: "yet" in the last line). Try and take those out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star Child Posted March 28, 2009 Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 Silence When a storm goes byWhen a cat meowsWhen a dog barksWhen an engine soundsWhen a gun firesAll I hear is silenceFor I am deaf DeathDeathIt happens to everyoneSome are murderedSome die peacefullyWhile others die from stormsIt's tragicVery very tragic i hope you like these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 28, 2009 Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 Silence is epic. Death... not so much. The simplicity of Silence enhances its quality, as silence is, in quintessence, total audio simplicity. Death, however, is painfully complex; the poem seems far too light for the topic. Doesn't carry nearly as much weight as Silence before it, and seems almost childish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Star Child Posted March 28, 2009 Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 well i cant help it that much. can you help me by posting your version? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Supreme Gamesmaster Posted March 28, 2009 Report Share Posted March 28, 2009 Frankly, I doubt a rewrite is possible. Your poetic structure is excellent; it just doesn't apply to death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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