starwebs1 Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 This is my first Fan Fic, so, here it is! [align=center]Yu-Gi-Oh! FL[spoiler=Chapter 1 - The Package]"Now, Felgrand Dragon, ATTACK!!!" I shouted. "Nice duel, David!" said my friend, Peter. "Thanks. I gotta go, see you at school tomorrow." I said. When I arrived at my house, I noticed a package in the mailbox. And it was for me! I snatched the package and ran inside. I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut open the package. Inside was a DVD and a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards, but I didn't recognize the name of the pack.I decided to watch the DVD first. I put the DVD in the DVD Player and I hit play. For a moment, the screen was blank. Then, after about ten seconds, it started. "Greetings, David!" said a familiar voice.That's when it hit me! Cards, that voice, it's Mr. Maximillion Pegasus! "I have sent this package informing you that you have been invited to Duelist Kingdom for the Annual Duelist Kingdom Tournament!" said Pegasus. Did I hear that right?The Annual Duelist Kingdom Tournament?Me? This is perfect! Tomorrow is the last day of the school year and I remember reading that the tournament is the day after tomorrow!Then, I remembered the pack of cards. I picked up the pack and I teared it open. "Whoa!" I shouted."Look at all these Ultra Rare cards!" I exclaimed. Later that evening, I revised my deck with some of those cards. Then, I went to sleep. [spoiler=Chapter 2 - The Journey]The next day, while I was at school, I told Peter about the package from Pegasus. "Say what?" Peter yelled. "Yes, it's true! And guess what!" I replied. "What?" he asked. "I also got an e-mail from him saying that I could bring one of my friends with me!" I replied. "Cool! Who are you bringing?" he asked. "Well, do you wanna go?" I asked. "You really have to ask? Of course I do!" he replied. "Okay, when we get home, we'll pack." I said. The next day, we got to the airport.When I got in the plane to Duelist Kingdom, my mouth dropped open! "Whoa!" I exclaimed. "Look at this place! Video games, movies, CDs, snacks everywhere!!!" I yelled. Peter was too stunned to talk. "Fasten your seat belts!" said the pilot. When we got in our seats, we saw something even cooler! "Look at the view!" I shouted. "This is so cool!" Peter yelled. When we landed, we got off the plane and were guided to Duelist Kingdom. [spoiler=Chapter 3 - Duelist Kingdom]When me and Peter arrived at Duelist Kingdom, we couldn't believe our eyes! "It's really Duelist Kingdom! We're really here!" Peter shouted. "It's Pegasus!" he added. "Welcome young duelists!" said Pegasus."Please allow me to escort you to the Duel Field." he added. "Okay!" we both shouted. When we arrived at the Duel Field, I couldn't believe who I was dueling! "I would like to meet, Yugi Muto." said Pegasus. "The duel will begin...NOW!!!" he shouted. I got my Duel Disk ready and prepared for the toughest duel of my life! [spoiler=Chapter 4 - Duelist Kingdom Tournament: Round 1]"Let's duel!" me and Yugi shouted. "I'll go first!" I said. I drew a card, looked at my hand and thought, "Perfect!" "First, I summon 'Neo Bug' in Attack Mode! (ATK: 1800)Next, I place one card face-down and end my turn.LPs:Yugi: 4000David: 4000 "Then, it's my move!" Yugi stated."I draw! And I summon 'Gemini Elf' in Attack Mode! (ATK: 1900)Attack!!!" he shouted. "I end my turn!"LPs:Yugi: 4000David: 3900 "Heh. Only 100 points of damage? Please!" I said. "I draw! I activate 'Brain Control'!" shouted. "This lets me take control of your Elf until the end of the turn, though I do have to pay 800 Life Points.Now, Gemini Elf, ATTACK!!!" I shouted."I end my turn!" I added.LPs:David: 3100Yugi: 2100 "I draw!" said Yugi. "And I attack again with Gemini Elf!" he shouted."I end my turn!" he added.LPs:Yugi: 2100David: 1200 I draw! And I activate another 'Brain Control'!" I shouted. "But, this time, I also activate 'Big Bang Shot' . This gives Gemini Elf another 400 ATK! ATTACK!!!!!!!LPs:David: 400Yugi: 0 "Good show!" said Pegasus. "Let's move on." he added. [spoiler=Chapter 5 - Shadow Duelist: Lucius] That night, at 11:35 PM, I heard a strange noise. "Is anybody here?" I whispered loudly. "Hahahahahahahaha!!!" whispered a strange voice. "I am one of the seven Shadow Duelists. My name is Lucius." he said. "I am here to defeat you in a duel." said Lucius. "Well, you won't succeed!" I shouted. I grabbed my Deck and my Duel Disk. "Game on!" I shouted. "Yes, except this is no game." Lucius replied. "I'll go first! I draw! And I summon 'Sabersaurus' in Attack Mode!(ATK: 1900)" I shouted. "I place one card face-down and end my turn!" I added.LPs:David: 2000Lucius: 2000 "I draw! And I activate 'Double Summon'. This card lets me summon twice this turn! I set one monster and sacrifice it to summon 'Horus, the Black Flame Dragon LV6' in Attack Mode!(ATK: 2300)" he shouted. "Now, attack his Sabersaurus!!! I end my turn." he added.LPs:Lucius: 2000David: 1600 "I draw! And I activate 'Tribute to the Doomed'! This lets me discard one card from my Hand to the Graveyard so I can destroy one monster on the field. I choose Horus!" I exclaimed. "Now, I activate 'Double Summon'! And you know what it does so I'm not gonna say it! I summon 'Kaiser Sea Horse' in Attack Mode!(ATK: 1700) This card counts as two Tributes for the summon of a LIGHT monster!" I shouted. "I summon 'Felgrand Dragon' in Attack Mode!(ATK: 2800) Now, end this!" I shouted.LPs:David: 1600Lucius: 0 "That's game!" I added. Then, Lucius disappeared in a mysterious puff of smoke.[/align] [spoiler=Additional Info]My character's name is David.FL stands for Felgrand Legend.New chapters will mostly be posted within two days of the last chapter. 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Southparkerstan Posted March 5, 2009 Report Share Posted March 5, 2009 Chapters are EXTREMELY short! There's not even enough material to rate! I would suggest combining all of this (and mabye even more) into one chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Morpheous Erebos Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 Not MUCH of a spike, but the story as a whole is great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XenosagaFan123 Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 I liked your story very creative! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 I have changed the "Books" to "Chapters." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Morpheous Erebos Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 That is a whole lot better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommers2008 Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 Far too short... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted March 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 Chapters: 3 and 4 are up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted March 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2009 BUMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overlord Lucan Posted March 8, 2009 Report Share Posted March 8, 2009 Way to short Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted March 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2009 It's not done yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 BUMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2009 BUMP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2009 Chapter 5 is up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted March 11, 2009 Report Share Posted March 11, 2009 Ugh. Oh my. That is way to short. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to short for chapters. Way. To. Short. Plot is lackluster. Seems generic really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southparkerstan Posted March 12, 2009 Report Share Posted March 12, 2009 Up above, you quadruple posted. That is a first. You need to use a lot more detail and more original ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaleBoy93 Posted March 13, 2009 Report Share Posted March 13, 2009 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Umbra Posted March 13, 2009 Report Share Posted March 13, 2009 Congratulations, you managed to rip both DM and GX simultaneously. And you didn't even do well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fenrir Posted March 13, 2009 Report Share Posted March 13, 2009 Congratulations' date=' you managed to rip both DM and GX simultaneously. And you didn't even do well.[/quote'] I phail to see how it takes two days to come up with a crappy chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Morpheous Erebos Posted March 13, 2009 Report Share Posted March 13, 2009 That last chapter made no sense. What happened after the duel, and why was the whole chapter a 3-turn duel? WAY too short Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starwebs1 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 ~BUMP~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Morpheous Erebos Posted March 24, 2009 Report Share Posted March 24, 2009 You need more chapters.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted March 25, 2009 Report Share Posted March 25, 2009 Why do you suddenly start the duel with 2000 LP, why do you beat Yugi, the original duelist, in under five turns, why do you get invited to the tournament even though you're an obviously horrible duelist... UGH. Too many questions, not enough answers. Next, plz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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