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My New Fanfic (If anyone could submit a name, there's a positive rep for you.)

Kenny Bohner

By Kenny Bohner
in Creative Writing

How'd you like, honestly?  

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  1. 1. How'd you like, honestly?

    • Great, loved every word!
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    • Good, I really liked it.
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    • Ehhh... kinda iffy at times... I don't quite know
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    • Didn't really care for it, nothing personal
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    • Damn! Dude, what is your problem?!
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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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Hey! Welcome to my fanfic! As afore mentioned, if you can suggest a good name, I'll rep you for it. Also, can someone submit a pic of a son between Zane Truesdale and Alexis Rhodes (Needed for book two). Please rate it, and suggest improvments. Hope you enjoy!

BOOK ONE:

[spoiler=Chapters 1-4](Chapter 1)It was a bitterly cold, windy day in Center City Chicago. Jeremey was desperately looking for some kind of protection from the wind. His ratty jacket was barely holding on to him. To make matters worse, it started to rain. The icy drops were only water, sure, but they may as well have been knives. Man, he thought, This is bad... Finally, after trudging down what felt like the entire East Side, he started to see the familliar landmarks; Browne's Pharmacy, the old, crumbling apartment building, which everyone knew was a crackhouse, and the roach-infested sorry excuse for a housing project, in which he lived. Even this looked like heaven to him; an oasis of dry warmth in a desert of bitter, horrible cold. He walked/stumbled/fell into the front door. As he walked inside, he saw that his mother had left him a note. Jeremey sighed. Since she'd gotten that new job, she'd never been home. He was hungry, thirsty, alone, and, frankly, had to pee, but, hey, he was out of that weather. He decided to take care of the latter first. He walked over to the bathroom. At the thought of it, he smirked. Bathroom, he thought, What kind of fool lets a rat take a bath in this dump, let alone his own mama? Lord in Heaven... After he'd gone, the toilet didn't flush. What else was new? He looked over at himself at the cracked, dirty, mirror. He'd be really handsome if he had half-way decent living conditions. He was really dark, a lot darker than his mother. She always said that he looked like his father, who'd died before he could remember. He'd only left one thing to Jeremey; an old Duel Monsters Deck. He went to his room to examine it. He loved playing Duel Monsters... his mama didn't. She'd said that his dad lost everything playing. He'd always thought, though, that if you could lose everything at it, you could gain everything, too. And they had nothing left to lose...

 

(Chapter 2) The sun was just rising over the waters, creating a dazzling fireworks display, which danced across the sea. The moment was broken as the Captain's thunderous voice boomed down the stairs. "MICHAEL! Get your lazy, good-for-nothing, waste of skin self out of bed!" Mike was about fed up with sea life. The trouble was, he had nothing to return to. A few years ago, his parents and older brother, Joey, were killed in a plane crash. He was then cheated out of any inheritance by a corrupt legal system. With nobody to take him in, he went to an orphanage. Within months, he was sent to this slave to be a "hero" for the place; a worthless title given by that joint, which meant, apperantly, to be a slave to stupid, sweaty, corrupt merchants. He didn't ever say it, but he always suspected that it was only because he was Jewish. The money he gained went straight to the orphanage, so he never saw a penny. His financial situation was, frankly, pathetic. He owned only four things on Earth (other than his uniform); his Torah, his old, dusty, Mets cap, his picture of his late brother, Joey, and his Duel Monsters Deck. His brother always said, "It could always be worse. But if it can't get worse, get used to it. And, if you can't do that, change it." He was about to change it all... he had his escape all planned out.

 

(Chapter 3) Jeremey was determined to change things for him and Mama. That morning, as he woke up, he looked outside, through his partially borded-up window. The rain had stopped, but the wind was still whipping. He got up, put his other pair of jeans on, and grabbed his shabby coat. Jeremey looked around the house. Good. Mama's still asleep. He walked down the stairs of the housing project, which were all but in shambles. The roaches, the rats, even a bat or two... this place was hell on earth. He walked down his street, 105th, looking for the hobby shop down the street. As he walked inside, he noticed something odd... there were never any kids from other neighborhoods in that store, but, sure enough, there was Geoff from History, and Dane from Trig. He soon saw the reason; the World Championship Tournament was advertised, via a poster on the wall. He rushed to the desk to sign up, nearly knocking over a little kid that he didn't recognise. He took a good look at the man behind the counter. He seemed slightly insane. His greying hair was wild and unkempt, and his eyes had a peculiar glow to them. "Hi!" the guy started, clearly at no loss for energy. "Don't tell me, let me guess; you're here for the Tourney?" Wow. "Uhhmm... yeah, sir, I am." "Well, no need to be so shy! Just sign here!" Was this guy for real? He needed to calm down. So, Jeremey signed, slightly wondering if he was actually awake. He found out, through further conversation with the nutcase, that he needed to win a duel against another hopeful enterant to pass. How hard could it be? His opponent looked like one of the Beach Boys; bleached blonde hair, that was a little too long, wearing a shark tooth necklace. In Chicago. During winter. Where had all of the normal people gone? Because of the coin toss, he was to go first. He drew his opening hand, and couldn't believe his eyes; Spear Dragon, Relinquished, Black Illusion Ritual, Spellbinding Circle, and Goblin Caligrapher. He drew a card. It was Magic Cylander. He smiled. This was going to be easy.

 

(Chapter 4) The ship made port in New York. They were re-fueling, and Mike was instructed not to move, so, of course, he did. He took off his sailor's jacket, and wrapped his things in it, adn slung it over his shoulder. He had to act fast; this ship doesn't take much gas. He was lead to the deck earlier... big mistake. He could see the dock from here... if only they were a little closer... the guards weren't looking. Screw it, he thought, I'm escaping right now! He drew in a deep breath, and ran, full-bore to the side of the boat. Mike took the greatest leap he'd ever seen, and hit the ground running. Back on the deck, there was utter chaos. He didn't care. For the first time in years, it wasn't his problem.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapters 5-10]](Chapter 5) Jeremey could hardly contain himself. He took a quick look at his opponent. He looked as arrogant as ever. This duel was going just like the ones he constantly played out in his mind. He activated Black Illusion Ritual, sacrificing Goblin Caligrapher, and Summoning Relinqueshed (ATK 0/ DEF 0). He then set Magic Cylander and Spellbinding Circle. He ended his turn. The blonde kid, who's name turned out to be Alex, played Chainsaw Insect (ATK 2400/ DEF 0).“Looks like we both lose twenty-four hundred, eh bud? Take the good with the bad…” he attacked the face-up attack position Relinqueshed. Jeremey activated Magic Cylander. (LP 8000- 2400= 5600). Alex could hardly believe it. He had lost so much, just for being aggressive… Jeremey drew Jar of Greed, which he set. He activated Relinqueshed's effect; he used Chainsaw Insect as an Equip Card, increasing Relinqueshed's ATK by 2400. He attacked directly and ends his turn. Alex was really hurting now. He almost knew that he was finished by this time. (LP 5600- 2400= 3200) Alex draws and sighs. He lost all of his earlier energy and cockiness. He set a monster and ended his turn. Jeremey drew, and activated Jar of Greed. He drew Shadow Spell and Fissure. He summoned Spear Dragon (ATK 1900/ DEF 0). He used it to attack the face-down card, which was Gemini Elf (ATK 1900/ DEF 900). Due to Spear Dragon's piercing effect, he deals 900 points of damage (LP 3200- 900= 2300) He then attacked with Relinquished for the win. His confidence was soaring; not only did he execute perfectly, he was going to the Kabia Corp. World Championship! He raced home to tell Mama... and thought better of it. He stopped at the Greyhound station.

 

(Chapter 6) Mike's adrenalin was rushing. His mind was soaring. He hadn't stopped running since they'd come in through the East River, and was now somewhere in Yonkers. His legs felt as if they were on fire. He stopped, gasping and gulping for breath, struggling to look around. He saw an apartment complex, a 7-11, a pharmacy, and a bus station. He stumbled into the pharmacy. He noticed a poster, which read "Kaiba Corp. World Championship affiliate! Sign up inside!" As he walked inside, he noticed several aspiring duelists struggling for a spot in the Tourney.

He noticed the guy behind the counter. What a guy. He was very tall, better than six feet, and as wide as he was tall. His real feature, though, was his face. It was black, like any African American, but splotched with white. He had a terrible, ghastly, tattoo snaking down his face, in the shape in the shape of a dragon's tail.

Although, frankly, the guy scared him, he decided to talk to him. "Uhhmm... hello... I'm looking for a spot in the Tournament..." His voice trailed off. The man handed him a slip of paper, that read "BYE: Auto Entry." So, what was this? He still didn't understand. He supposed that it meant he got in with no preliminary match. He looked up to ask the man a question... but he was gone.

 

(Chapter 7) Alex couldn't get over that loss. It wasn't so much that he lost, or that he got beaten so handily, it's that now he'd never win the Tournament, to raise the cash he wanted so badly. He... needed it. It was now forever out of reach. He was almost in tears with self-pity when he looked up to see the man looming over him. He was somewhat scared of him. He was easily 6' 6", maybe taller. He was very lean and muscular, and he had to be 300 pounds. His face was the big thing, though; dark, like any African, but splotched with white, and, dividing his face in half, was a horrid tattoo, slithering down his face, in the shape of a dragon's tail. He wore the Millennium symbol around his neck. "Alex," the man boomed, in a deep, rolling-thunder-esque voice, "I know of your dilemma. I pity you deeper than you'll ever know. With my help, you and I could end Jeremey's hope of winning the Tournament... and claim the sweetest victory." Alex was stupified. The man's symbol started to glow as bright as any light he'd ever seen, maybe brighter. He touched it, impulsively. In an instant, he was gone.

 

(Chapter 8 ) As Jeremey looked out the window on the long road to Philly, he was starting to second-guess himself. He hadn't even told Mama where he was going. She'd forgive him if he won, though. He smiled. He slipped into a daydream about what he'd do with the money. Eventually, he fell asleep. He had the worst sort of nightmare about Alex... he looked like a zombie; like Bonz, the "Dead Duelist" that he'd seen at Battle City. Horrible. He was awakened by the guy in the seat next to him violently kneeing him in the head. Groggily, he looked up, just in time to see the man he was sitting with's fist greeting him. He was knocked over the back of the seat, and the rest of the bus attacked him. It was like a mosh pit at a concert, only worse. They were trying to kill him. Desperately, he looked for a way out. He ripped out a seat, and heaved it with all he had at the windsheild, which disintegrated on contact. Even though the car was motoring down the road at at least sixty miles per hour, he jumped, hitting the ground rolling. He looked up, still unsure if he was awake. He had to laugh. The sign he saw read, "Welcome to Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love!"

 

(Chapter 9) Mikey was confused in all sorts of ways... but it was too late now. After getting the free pass, he took the next flight to Philly. Being flat broke, he had to stow away. It was actually quite funny... but no matter now. He had a duel in less than an hour. He checked his deck... and found a new card. "Who made Who? What is this? I don't remember getting this..." He honestly didn't care. He ran through the arena tunnel to greet his opponent. He saw none other than Duel Academy graduate stand-out, Zane Truesdale. He took a deep breath and bit the bullet. He walked up the stairs to the hologram platform. "Hello. Let's begin." Zane didn't even wait for the official to start them off. The coin toss declared that Mikey would go first. He drew. Absolute crap hand. His only usable okay card was Giant Soldier of Stone, which he set. Zane drew. His composure unnerved Mikey. He thought it ironic. Zane smiled as he looked at his hand. Mikey saw that he played Polymerization. Oh, great, he thought, This can't end well... The sent two Cyber Dragons from his hand to his Graveyard, to Fusion Summon Cyber Twin Dragon in attack mode (ATK: 2800 DEF:1000). He attacked Giant Soldier of Stone, and, using Cyber Twin Dragon's effect, attacked Mikey's Life Points directly (LP 8000- 2800= 5200). Mikey was seriously worried. He drew more crap. He set Dark Mimic LV 1, and ended his turn. Zane was ecstatic. Mikey was not. Zane just attacked twice again, and due to Dark Mimic's effect, Mikey drew a card. Nothing special, just a Gemini Elf. (LP 5200- 2800= 2400) This was just about over. Mikey drew a Pot of Greed. He played it. He got "Snatch Steal" and "Who made Who?". He summoned Gemini Elf and used Snatch Steal. He attacked twice with Cyber Twin Dragon, and once with Gemini Elf (LP 8000- 2800- 2800- 1900= 500). He then activated "Who made Who?," since he had a Machine-Type now, and every card on Zane's side of the Field, inflicting 500 Life Point damage (LP 500- 500= 0). Mikey couldn't believe it... and neither could Zane. He lost all of his cool aura from before. He was frantically trying to search for some error in his playing style, and he couldn't. He shook Mikey's hand. Mikey just said five words: "Don't call it a comeback." Zane, although obviously flustered and disappointed, managed a chuckle and said, "You'd better win now; don't make me look bad." Mikey liked him immediately. He hoped he saw him again.

 

(Chapter 10) When Alex came to, they were somewhere he'd never seen... except in a dream. They didn't seem to be anywhere; there wasn't a floor... or a ceiling for that matter. In fact, there wasn't anything. They were standing upright, as if on solid ground, but the only thing around them was a dark purple light. It looked like Yami. It was mesmerizng. He noticed that he was glowing. The man from earlier, who had taken him to this place, had grabbed a glowing, golden rod, with the Millennium symbol on it. He lifted above his head, chanting a strange, foreign mantra. He clubbed Alex, square on the head, with it. He was knocked out cold. He awoke several hours later under a Philadelphia Duel Arena. He had no idea how he'd gotten there. He looked at his right arm. There was a tattoo, identical to the man's dragon tail there. It was so weird. He touched it, and heard the man's voice. "Do not be afraid. There is nothing to fear. Go into the building, and register for the Tournament under your real name, Alex. I have... pulled some strings." He was so confused. He did the only thing he could... he obeyed.

 

 

[spoiler=Chapters 11-14](Chapter 11) Jeremey was practically flying. He'd found a pay phone, told Mama, who was initially a little ticked, but softed up when she revealed that his dad did the same exact thing. He had had a duel earlier, and had won handily. He was now in the finals against a guy from Philadelphia. God must have been smiling on him. ·········· Mikey was so incredibly happy. With the momentum of that come-from-behind victory against Zane, who was considered the best of the best, and a good, solid deck, and some Chicago boy as an opponent. Heh... the guy's probably a Cubs fan... this shouldn't be much of a challenge... ········ Jeremey was on pins and needles. He absolutely couldn't wait. The biggest moment of his life was close approaching. He went through the tunnel to a chorus of cheers. The walked up the stairs to the holo platform... and awaited his destiny. ······· Mikey shot through the tunnel and up the stairs. He was greeted by a wall of applause. He noticed that Zane was in the front row, cheering his name louder than anyone. Joey'd be the only guy that would've been louder... not that it mattered now. It was show time. ······· Jeremey was to go first, by the ruling of the Proctor. He looked at his opponent, and then his hand. Not bad. He set Mirror Force and Chainsaw Insect (ATK: 2400 DEF: 0). He ended his turn. ······· Mikey got his hand together. He set Call of the Haunted and Magic Jammer,and also summoned Chainsaw Insect (ATK: 2400 DEF: 0). He attacked Jeremey's face-down card. ······ Fool. He fell for it. Jeremey was a pretty happy guy. He activated Mirror Force. There goes his Insect. Mikey ended his turn. Jeremey drew Fissure, which he set. He flip-summoned his Chainsaw Insect, and noticed the surprise on Mikey's face. ······· Mikey almost laughed. He was losing to his own favorite card... for now. He activated Call of the Haunted. Jeremey withdrew his attack. ······· Jeremey found this pretty funny. They'd both built their decks around the same card. He activated Fissure... which was countered by Magic Jammer. ······ Mikey was pretty high on himself. That was genius on his part. And, now, because of Spell Ressurection, he had a nice De-Spell at his disposal. His opponent ended his turn. He drew Insect Barrier, which he played. As soon as he activated it, Jeremey used Mystical Space Typhoon, destroying it. Looks like he had another use for Spell Ressurection. He ended his turn. ······ Jeremey drew. This guy was an excellent Duelest. He set Ring of Destruction, and activated Nightmare's Steel Cage. He ended his turn. ······· Mikey drew Ring of Destruction, one of his favorite cards. He equipped Axe of Destruction to his opponent's Chainsaw Insect. ······ Jeremey knew that Mikey must've been up to something, though he had no idea what. He had drawn the same card, so to appear on the same page, he used it on Mikey's Insect. ······ Mikey's plan was working perfectly. He could Ring of Destruction Jeremey's, and then attack with his own. Heheheh... Mikey just set a card and ended his turn. ······· Okay, now they were free to attack. Jeremey drew. Another Ring of Destruction. He set it. He ended his turn. ······ Mikey was feeling good. He summoned another Chainsaw Insect, and activated Ring of Destruction on Jeremey's Chainsaw Insect (BOTH LP 8000-2400=5600). Jeremey chained on his Ring of Destruction (BOTH LP 5600-2400=3200). Mikey activated Jar of Greed, which Jeremey countered with a... Ring of Destruction (BOTH LP 3200-2400=800). Mikey activated Swords of Revealing Light and ended his turn. Jeremey drew Pot of Greed, which he activated. He got a Super Magician (LIGHT, Spellcaster, LVL 8, ATK 2700, DEF 2400, Tuner, Special Summons one monster from your Graveyard), and Shining Magician (LIGHT, Spellcaster, LVL 12, ATK 4000, DEF 4000, Synchro, When this card destroys a monster, increase your Life Points by the ATK of the destroyed monster). He activated Stray Lambs, and sacrificed both of the tokens immediately, to summon Super Magician. He chose to summon his Chainsaw Insect. He then used Scroll of Bewitchment on him, changing his Attribute to LIGHT. He then sacrificed his two monsters to Synchro Summon his ace-in-the-hole, Shining Magician. He ended his turn, since he couldn't attack. ······ On his turn, Mikey was almost in total despair. Jeremey had his ace in the hole out on the field, and his Swords of Revealing Light only last so long... with a sigh, he drew. He couldn't believe his eyes. The best card in his deck... Abyssal Magician (DARK, Spellcaster, LVL 12, ATK 4000, DEF 4000, Synchro, When this card destroys your opponent's monster as a result of battle, you can either ·Destroy and remove from play one monster on your opponent's side of the Field, or ·Discard the top five cards of your opponent's Deck.) He had a Sinister Sprocket in his hand (LVL 1, Tuner, Special Summons two DARK monsters from your hand.) , and also Dark Magician and Dark Blade in his hand. He played Sinister Sprocket, along with Dark Magician and Dark Blade. Using these three, he Synchro Summoned Abyssal Magician. A voice came on over the loudspeaker. "That's enough. You can stop." It was the Proctor. None of the holograms disappeared, though. He walked out, revealing himself as the creepy guy from the New York pharmacy. Mikey looked up in utter shock. So, to, did Jeremey, because walking along side him was Alex, whom he'd eliminated. He had a tattoo on his arm matching the Proctor's, too, but on his arm. Jeremey and Mikey exchanged a glance. They knew that something big was about to take place.

 

(Chapter 12) The Proctor, who introduced himself as Set, snapped his fingers. Suddenly, Mikey, his Deck, and his Abyssal Magician were next to Jeremey, as if that was how it had been all along. Every one in the arena was shocked silent. He lifted up his hand. A long, golden, cerimonial-looking rod appeared in his hand. He slammed the butt end of it into the ground, spawning a giant wall of fire around the holo platform, and on the sides of the spectators' area, so no-one could leave. The walls were transformed into a sort of pulsating dark light, like that of Yami. Mikey knew instantly what was happening. His grandfather's friend, Sugoroku Mutou, had often spoken about. He'd always thought it was only a story. Without conscience will, he whispered two words: "Shadow Duel." Jeremey looked at him as if he had lobsters crawling out of his ears. "What in the blue hell is a Shadow Duel?" "It's... hard to explain. We're no longer on Earth... not as we know it, anyway..." "Are you on crack?" Set cleared his throat. "What is happening is this: I've transported us to the Shadow Realm... it is what you may call Sheol, or Hades. This is a purgatory for immortal souls to wait... until the end of the world. The loser in this place will be damned to stay here until the very end... and then..." He laughed maniacally. Alex spoke up. "The damage you take here is very real. In the Shadow Realm, these are more than just mere holograms... these are living beings. Set had opened my eyes to the great power locked in these cards..." "Alex," Jeremey started, "Why would you do this? Last time I saw you, you were so care-free, and full of life... what are you trying to prove, man? You think this is funny? I know you're no fool, man. I saw it in our duel. It's not too late-" He was cut off. "SILENCE!!!!" It was Alex. A Millennium symbol appeared on his forehead. "Enough chatter! I hunger for your souls... NOW!!!!!" Jeremey reluctantly drew his first five, and an extra, since he was to go first. Alex did the same, scratch the extra. He assumed their opponents did, too. Jeremey set Humanoid Slime (WATER, Aqua, LVL 4, ATK 800, DEF 2000, Vanilla), and also Mirror Force and Astral Barrier. He ended his turn. Set raised his hand to draw, and the card flew up to greet it. He took a look at it. He Summoned Angel Warrior (LIGHT, Fairy, LVL 4, ATK/DEF 2000, Tuner, All monsters on your opponent's side of the Field are changed to face-up attack position.), and set a few cards. Jeremey needed that card to stay alive. He used Astral Barrier, to transfer the attack to his Life Points. He took the angel's blade right in the arm (LP 8000- 2000= 6000). It created a visible gash, that was bleeding profusely. This drew a collective, audible gasp from the audience. He knew this wasn't hocus-pocus nonsence now; it was a struggle for existence. It was Mikey's turn. He drew. He'd also felt that stab, since in a Tag Duel, you share Life Points. They were down to 6000. He sacrificed Huminoid Slime for his Paladin of the South (LIGHT, Warrior, LVL 6, ATK 2600, DEF 2400, Piercing effect), and set a couple of cards. He attacked Angel Warrior, and then activated Curse of Anubis (As long as this card remains face-up on the Field, all effect monsters are changed to Defence Position, and their DEF becomes 0.). Mikey chained with Mystical Space Typhoon (From his hand). The Paladin stabbed through Angel Warrior, spilling blood on Set, which burned a small hole in his arm. He didn't even flinch (LP 8000- 600 = 7400). It was Alex's turn. He Summoned Destiny Hero Defender (DARK, Warrior, ATK 100, DEF 2700, If this card is in face-up Defence position at the End Phase of your turn, your opponent draws a card.) He then activated Weapon Switch, reversing his ATK and DEF. He launched an attack on Paladin of the South, sending his sword flying. It grazed Mikey's leg, making him cry out in pain. (LP 6000- 100 = 5900) Alex was clearly enjoying himself. He reluctantly ended his turn. Jeremey drew a card, which turned out to be Meteor of Destruction, which did 1000 points of damage. The sight was just incredible. The purple/black light on the ceiling gave way, allowing for a huge meteor to fall through. It hit Alex square in the chest, sending him flying. He hit the flaming barrier with a sickening sizzle. He screamed at the top of his lungs for almost a full minute, cursing Set and apologizing up and down to Mikey and Jeremey. His spirit parted with his body, and, being in the Shadow Realm, it just sat and watched, like one of the poor spectators. The Millennium symbol on Alex's face-up body's forehead began to glow intensely. Set snapped his fingers, and one of his cards shattered. The spirit of it took over Alex's half-burnt body. It stood up, cracked it's neck, and walked back to the platform. (LP 7400- 1000=6400) It now had this dark, visible aura about it. One of the shards of the card, which used to house its soul, was on the floor, next to Mikey. He looked down. It was the name plate. It read, "Rashief, Lord of the Dead." This was bad... but it was still Jeremey's turn. He was beside himself. He just killed a man, burned him to death, and just saw his body re-animated by who may, very possibly, be the King of Hell. Poor Alex's spirit was still standing, right there, because he was a loser, and this was, undoubtedly, Sheol. He set Ring of Destruction. He then Summoned Jirai Gumo. (EARTH, Insect, LVL 4, ATK 2200, DEF 0, When this card declares an attack, flip a coin. If it's heads, attack normally. If it's tails, halve your Life Points first.) He attacked. As he flipped the coin, he cried out in pain. That cut was acting up. It was still bleeding. He hoped it wasn't infected. The result came up... tails. A giant ray of white light came right at Jeremey. It was intesely hot. Jeremey looked down in horror. His right arm was... gone. He was at a lost, not only for words, but even for thoughts. He was dumbfounded. Life had stumped him. The attack went through, though, and these freaks weren't going to settle with anything less than total resolution. (LP 5900 - 2950 [Mikey and Jeremey]) (LP 6400- 2200= 4200 [set and Rashief]). It was gruesome. The hideous creature that Jeremey had summoned had launched a jet of acid right at Rasheif. It ate away his right knee. He was already gimping, since his leg was all but burned up, he was sitting now. Strangley, the pain didn't seem to bother him. At all. Weird... It was now Set's turn. He activated "Cheat!," which allows him to Normal Summon one monster from his hand, regardless of level, card text, or card type. He summoned... Obelisk, the Tormentor! He wasted no time attacking... and being greeted by Magic Cylander. The fist hit Set square in the face. It was grotesque. The sound... ugh. His face showed no sign of it, although there was blood everywhere. He fell backwards (LP 4200- 4000= 200). For the first time in the entire duel, Mikey and Jeremey had the upper hand. Rasheif, who had been quiet for the whole time, had finally spoken up. He'd screamed it, in some other language, an unholy mantra, creating a beam of the dark purple/black light from him to Obelisk, transfering his soul to the new host. Set was still alive, but barely. He was rolling on the ground, hardly breathing. Obelisk's body began to change, as Rashief's true form fused with his. He was huge. he stood at least ten feet tall, was red, and had two heads. His wings became huge blades. He could breathe fire. He was, truly, the most fearsome creature ever. Mikey looked into its eyes, and, truly, this was evil in its purest form. This was the begining of the end.

 

(Chapter 13) Rashief/Obelisk laughed, a terrible, otherworldly laugh. It was horrible. He was about to finsh Jeremey and Mikey off. From his mouths, he expelled two jets of flames, that crossed in the air. He lept/flew to where the "X" came together, intentionally catching himself on fire. He spiraled down, like a missle, right at Jeremey and Mikey. They both thought it was all over. Mikey took a chance glance over to the spectators area, to see Zane with his Duel Disk deployed, and Cyber Dragon out. Cyber Dragon wrapped himself around Rashief/Obelisk's legs, sending him crashing to the ground. He wasn't hurt, but he was furious. He grabbed the now flaming dragon and heaved it at Zane. It disintegrated at the flame barrier. Since this was still a Duel, and the creature only had 200 Life Points left, victory, and relief from this nightmare was close at hand. But, the opponent had one monster on the Field, which happens to have 8000 attack points. Mikey drew. A Woodborg Inpachi (FIRE, Machine, LVL 5, ATK 1200, DEF 2600). He knew that if he could only summon it... he activated Swords of Concealing Light. The creature wandered in the dark. Mikey ended his turn. Given the circumstances, Jeremey took the next turn. He activated Ultimate Offering. He set Giant Soldier of Stone, and ended his turn. The creature continued to wander. Neither Jeremey nor Mikey had seen such intense darkness. Mikey drew. He Normal Summoned Woodborg Inpachi, and activated his new signature spell card... "Who made Who?". Even though the Woodborg was infinately weaker than Obelisk/Rashief, it was able to destroy its body. Rashief, through psychic ability, was able to continue the Duel. Desperately, he searched for a host body. It was over. Woodborg attacked directly... and won the Duel. Mikey and Jeremey's wounds healed. The light on the ceiling transformed into a swirling vortex, sucking up the spirits of all that had fallen that night... execpt that of Alex and Set. Alex passed on, to Heaven, presumably, and Set stayed. Jeremey walked over to him. The flame walls were falling. The purple Yami was receeding. Jeremey finally got a good look at Set. He looked right in his eyes. "Oh, my God..." was all Jeremey could say. He should've put it all together before. His dad had 'lost it all playing Duel Monsters...' Mama wasn't talking about money. He'd lost his soul, in a Shadow Duel, in Egypt. Set, here, was using his father's body. He could only imagine what had happened during his father's last few moments of life... Set was clinging to his last few moments of life. Jeremey was talking to him. "You... killed my father, in a Duel just like this one, didn't you? You took his body, too... and you tried to do it to me!" Jeremey was beyond fury. He was so enraged... he felt like he was about to exlpode. Set tried to speak; what came out was a hoarse whisper. "I... have... failed... Please... have mercy... on me... I see the error in what I've done... let me set things right..." "How?! How can you make this right?! How can you make ANYTHING right?!?! You killed my father, you killed Alex, you killed innocent people before, who had nothing to do with you, and you tried to kill us! You tried to kill ME!! AAAAARRRRGHHHH!!!!!" Jeremey was kicking him all the while. After a bit, he broke down and cried. "Damn it, you tried to kill me, man, tried to kill me..." Jeremey clearly was in no state to talk. Mikey spoke up. "Set... what do you mean?" "I...can... revive the Ancient Ones, the Sacred Dragons..." "Who? What do you mean?" "When I... pass... take the symbol from me. Spike it against the ground. You... will... see..." He set his head down, one final time.

 

(Chapter 14) The walls of flames had past. The Yami was completely gone. All of the spectators were safely at home, with one more dark memory for the collection, except Zane. He stayed with Jeremey and Mikey, if only out of curiousity. Mikey bent down to take the Millennium symbol from Jeremey's father's, or, more recently, Set's, body. He spiked it, just as told. And then, all hell broke loose. Two enormous dragons, one pure white, and the other the color of Yami. They looked ready to fight. Mikey and Jeremey each noticed glass orbs. On pure intuition, they each threw them at the massive dragons. Then, something amazing... well, more amazing, happened. There was a giant explosion in the air. Zane was caught in it, and thrown against the wall. He had cut the back of his head open, but not too badly. He was okay. The orbs both fell to the ground, without being damaged. They each contained the essence of the dragon they had captured; one gleamed with a light so white, that a full spectrum of colors shimmered in it, occasionally. The other was exactly the color of Yami. It was incredible. They knew, in the depth of their souls, that in their hands, they held the very balance of the Universe.

-----------------------------THE END--------------------------------

BOOK TWO [spoiler=Chapters 1-4](Chapter 1) The year was drawing to a close... in about a half minute. Rob sighed. It seemed like 2036 just started, and in fifteen seconds, it'd be gone. Man, was it cold. He'd never come out to Times Square for New Years again. Whoops, he almost missed the count-down. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!! He felt a slight vibration... his phone wasn't ringing. He was looking around for a possible source in his pocket, and he looked at the orb his father, Jeremey, had given him. It was shaking violently, and glowing at least five times brighter than it ever had before. He knew something big was going to happen. He deployed his Duel Disk. His friend, Paul Truesdale, asked him what was going on. He replied simply, "It's happening." Paul understood immediately. He inserted the orb into his Disk. Oh, boy, He thought, Another flippin' Shadow Duel... when will they learn? There were two of them this time. The crowd had cleared an area for them to Duel; some walked away, some stayed to watch. Both men were wearing loose, hooded robes, with a solid, red mask in front of their faces. It covered the entire front of their heads, with no holes for the eyes. The Psy Dragons... he'd had enough of these clowns. There entire strategy was to get under your skin, since they could see what they drew through the mask. They didn't bother to tell anyone that there were computer chips in there, so there was a read-out, as to what was going on. Losers. Rob and Zane held their disks at ready. It was time to fight.

 

(Chapter 2) Tim and Andy were in their senior years at the Duel Academy. They'd both been able to make it into Obelisk Blue with ease, and were now in their graduation duel. Man, they'd had some insane adventures. First, the Shadow Riders attacked the island. Boy, was that fun. Tim had dueled Kagemaru and won easily. Of course, the energy from the duel ressurected the Sacred Beasts. Didn't matter; they had the Spellcaster Syndicate... very powerful. Tim and Andy alternated in that duel... they didn't have a choice. The orb that they're father had given them drained their energy as the duel went on... fortunately, Kagemaru became weaker, too, and they had numbers on their side. But, no matter. It was time to duel.

 

(Chapter 3) The Psy Dragon on the left took his hand first, so everyone just let him go. He drew his first card. He activated Foolish Burial, sending Black Luster Soldier to the Graveyard. The then summoned Blindly Loyal Goblin (EARTH, Warrior, LVL 4, ATK 1800, DEF 1500, The controll of this card cannot switch.). He activated Monster Reincarnation, sacrificing Blindly Loyal Goblin, to return Black Luster Soldier to his hand. He activated Black Luster Ritual, sending Anatsu (LVL 5) and Armed Samurai, Ben Kai (LVL 3) from his hand to the Graveyard, Special Summoning Black Luster Soldier (EARTH, Warrior, LVL 8, ATK 3000, DEF 2500, Ritual) in attack mode. He ended his turn. Rob drew a card. He activated Fissure. The Psy Dragon chained Magic Jammer, sending Axe of Despair to the Graveyard. Rob set Mirror Force, and set Giant Soldier of Stone (EARTH, Rock, LVL 3, ATK 1300, DEF 2000, Vanilla). The Psy Dragon on the right drew, and summoned Gemini Elf (EARTH, Spellcaster, LVL 4, ATK 1900, DEF 900). Using this, he attacked the face-down Giant Soldier of Stone, losing 100 Life Points (LP 8000- 100= 7900). He used Black Luster Soldier to attack, and Rob used Mirror Force. The only card left on the Field was Giant Soldier of Stone. It was Paul's turn. He sacrificed Giant Soldier of Stone, to summon Cyber Warrior (LIGHT, Machine, LVL 5, ATK 2100, DEF 1200, You can Special Summon this card from your hand, if your opponent has at least one monster on the Field, and you have no monsters on the Field.) He attacked the Psy Dragons directly (LP 7900- 2100= 5800). There was a nasty cut developing on the Psy Dragon on the left. He was clearly injured. He drew, clutching his stomach. He set a monster, and two spell/trap cards. He ended his turn. Rob drew. He activated Nobleman of Crossout, removing from play not only that one card, which turned out to be Gearfreid, the Iron Knight, but, since it was an effect monster, every one in that deck. That pretty much screwed that guy's strategy up beyond help. Since he had Emes, the Infinity, Jinzo, and Sinister Sprocket in his hand, and no plauseable other use for them, he activated Polymerization, fusing the afore mentioned Machine-type cards with Cyber Warrior, forming Chimeratech Overlord (LIGHT, Machine, LVL 9, ATK/DEF [in this case] 3200, When this card is sucessfully Fusion Summoned, send all other cards you controll to the Graveyard. This card can attack [in this case] 4 times in a single Battle Phase). Rob just massacred them after that. Back to the Shadow Realm, wannabe's.

 

(Chapter 4) Tim drew first. He summoned Skilled Dark Magician (DARK, Spellcaster, LVL 4, ATK 1900, DEF 1700, When you or your opponent activate a Spell Card, put one Spell Counter on this card (Max 3). Offer this card with 3 Spell Counters on it as a tribute to Special Summon Dark Magician from your hand, Deck, or Graveyard). He then activated Pot of Greed. He drew Pot of Greed, and Pot of Greed. He activated both of them, getting Magic Cylander, Dark Magic Attack, Serial Spell, and Magical Blast. He set Magic Cylander, and a Mirror Force, which he already had in his hand. He had six cards again. He sacrificed Skilled Dark Magician to summon Dark Magician Arkana (DARK, Spellcaster, LVL 7, ATK 2500, DEF 2100, This card's name is treated as Dark Magician). He ended his turn. Charlie Huffington, son of the famous card designer, Chumley Huffington, drew. He set a monster, and activated Forest (all Beast, Winged Beast, Beast-Warrior, and Insect-type monsters gain 300 ATK and DEF points). He endedhis turn. Andy drew a Skilled White Magician, which he summoned. He used Magical Dimmension, sacrificing Skilled White Magician, to summon Dark Magician Arkana. He activated Dedicaton through Light and Darkness, to sacrifice Dark Magician Arkana for Dark Magician of Chaos. He got Pot of Greed back from the Graveyard, and activated it. He drew Dark Eradicator Warlock, which he sacrificed Arkana to Summon. He activated Swords of Revealing Light, inflicting 1000 Life Point Damage to Charlie (LP 8000- 1000= 7000). He attacked the face-down monster, which turned out to be Des Kangaroo, which put up no fight. Dark Magician of Chaos attacked Charlie, inflicting 2800 damage (LP 7000- 2800= 4200). Sammy Truesdale, son of renowned mechanic, Cyrus Truesdale, wanted to draw... but he deemed it a waste of time. He tapped the top of the deck, in the classic surrender sign (LP 4200/2= 2100). They were playing with one man. It was Tim's turn. He attacked directly with Warlock for the win. It was over. They had graduated!

 

[spoiler= Chapters 5-8] (Chapter 5) Paul and Rob were walking away from the heap of humanity that were once goons of Norman Garland, who was obsessed with obtaining Rob's orb. This, however, was the first tim ethey were ever jumped in so public a place. That meant that Norm was getting desparate... which could be good or bad. Good, because you make more mistakes that way. Bad, because you go that much further... but no matter. Paul flagged a taxi, so they could go back to the hotel that they were staying at. They both climbed inside. They weren't very talkative the way to hotel. In a particularly thick silence, Rob's orb started to shake again. But, it wasn't like this time. It was thrashing in his bag, as if struggling to be let out. Rob looked up, so see what it was all about. What he'd seen through the windsheild was something he'd never forget. "Paul," he whispered, so softly that it was barley audible over the traffic, to his friend, who was messing about with his iPod. "What?" He followed Rob's gaze... and gasped. They saw the RPG flying through the sky, like a comet from Hell, right towards the front of the cab. There was a deafening explosion as it hit the yellow vehicle in the hood, right at the engine, which shot a ball of fire into the sky. The force launched Rob backwards, through the rear windsheild, falling swiftly towards Earth, and eventually smashing a stunned motorist off of his motor cycle. Paul was flown through the blown-open side door... into a waiting semi-trailor. He smacked against it, face first, and crashed with a sickening thud, to the ground.

 

(Chapter 6) Towards the end of the graduation ceremonies, after the boys had both recieved their diplomas, their orb started to vibrate intensely. Andy took it out to examine it. They saw something that was never there before- a TV-quality image of a terrorist attack on a taxi-cab, in New York. An RPG had smashed into the engine, detonated, and sent the front half of the car Beyond... and who should come flying from the backseat, but Rob and Paul. Andy, in his shock, dropped the orb. As soon as it hit the ground, Tim and he were consumed by a dark pillar, about the same color as Yami, which shot up from where the orb had hit the ground, dumbfounding everyone in attendance. The next thing the twins knew, they were standing right where the crash had occured, orb in hand. Rob was starting to get to his feet. His abdomen was completely enveloped by blood, and Tim guessed that he'd broken many ribs. A man in a biker's jacket, about ten feet away, was on his feet, as well. His arm was a mess, and it was a sure thing that it was broken, but, other than that, he was fine. He looked over at where Paul had hit the semi. There was a large dent, Paul's "body signature," if you will, and he was already on his feet. His nose was shattered, and he had several cuts on his body that would, no doubt, need stitches. Despite all of this, he was laughing. He held out his iPod. Andy wanted to laugh, too; it was still working fine. And, how appropriate, "Shot Down in Flames" by AC/DC was playing. This was a bit too much. Not only were both of their best friends signficantly banged up in a terrorist attack, they were transported here by some strange magic, and, on top of it all, Paul's iPod was, apparently, blast retardant. Wow. Tim was flabbergasted. He couldn't wrap his head around this all yet, and, for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how it was possible to laugh in this sort of situation.

(Chapter 7) About a week later, Paul was released from the hospital. Rob, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. He still had a few more days. Tim was with him in the hospital, and Andy was lazing around at home, looking for a job online. Paul decided to just take a walk around town, so he'd have something to do. He walked out of the hospital, and it occured to him; he had no idea where he was, just that he was somewhere in Brooklyn. Perfect. He just picked a street at random and walked. If he got lost, he'd just flag a cab, or get on the bus. Or a train. Well, probably NOT the cab. After that, it was obvious that it was an attemt at killing he and Rob, by the Psy Dragons. This was the first time they'd used anything but Duel Monsters to get them to surrender, though. Could be a sign. As he was walking down the street, something felt... off. He stopped and turned around... just in time to see a hooded figure, airbourne, coming down on him, with all of his weight, and... a knife. Paul felt the blade slice into his flesh, draining his very life from him. He collapsed, still with a surprised look on his face. The man quickly hoisted him over his shoulder and escaped, leaving the iPod on the ground, the screen cracked and the music skipping.

 

(Chapter 8) Paul was missing. Tim, Rob, and Andy were in a frenzy, trying to find him. They hadn't told Zane or any of their parents yet, but they would if he didn't turn up soon. Tim and Rob searched the neighbor-hood by the hospital, while Rob decided to check uptown, towards Queens. As Andy and Tim were walking down the street, they came to an intersection. Tim kept walking forward, but Andy, who had the orb, went into an alley, and, sure enough, there's Paul... dressed in black, from head to toe. He was holding the Light Orb in his hand. He plugged it into his Duel Disk, and played Hinotama. Normally, this would've done 500 Life Point damage, but, since this wasn't a Duel, it just sent white-hot miniature fire balls on Andy. A few missed, but one nailed him right in the shoulder, hurting, and burning his right sleeve off. "Aaarrgghh! Dammit, man, what was that for?!" "That, friend, was for the damage that your genetic code has inflicted on the Psy Dragons. You will be cleansed." "What the hell are you talking about? Dude, do you even know who I am? Hell, do you know who YOU are?" "I am Psy Dragon 56400-A. You are my enemy. I must cleanse you; show you to walk the Path." "You're insane! Look, man, you've gotta knock this voodoo crap off before you hurt someone! This shoulder is bad enough; imagine a Cybernetic Slash, man!" Paul- or at least, what had been Paul- smirked. This was going from bad to worse. Jeremey activated "Ancient Forbidden Card- Soul Seal" to infuse the spirit from his Orb of Darkness into a blank card that he carried around his neck. He deployed his Duel Disk, and Summoned it. Paul activated Shade's Duplicate, creating a shadow version of himself behind Andy. Andy tensed up, waiting for the blow. Instead of striking him, it stole the Ancient Forbidden Card (AFC) and a blank card, and dematerialized, putting the cards in Paul's hand. This duel obviously didn't have many rules, eh? Paul activated the AFC, Summoning the Light Spirit. Both of them had their ATK and DEF listed as "????," so only Andy's ace card, Pharoh's Dream, could win him this one. Paul then activated The Balance, making it so only LIGHT, DARK, and DIVINE cards could be on the Field. He ended his turn. On Andy's turn, he drew a card that could be the nail in the coffin; Different Dimension Capsule, which removed from play one card in his Deck for 2 turns. He chose Pharoh's dream. As he ended his turn, he looked around. This place was, frankly, terrifying, and strangely beautiful. He looked around, and the place was literally split right down the middle; the Kingdom of Heaven on one side, and the Bowels of Hell on the other. The turns went on, with nothing special happening. On the third turn after that, Andy got Pharoh's Dream. He activated it, and attacked, forgetting that it worked on his opponent's monster, too. The sight was incredible. The clash created a giant explosion, that sent both Paul and Andy flying. The only difference was that Paul landed on a cloud in Heaven, since he had the Orb of Light, and Andy was impaled by a craggy spire. The last thing Andy saw, was blood just gushing out of his stomach, and then everything went black...

 

 

[spoiler= (Chapter 9-12)] (Chapter 9) Rob and Tim were worring out of their minds. No points for originallity, sure, but they told Mikey, Jeremey, and Uncle Zane. They took it better than they thought... but not much. There was the Missing Persons Report, the pacien, the occasional breakdown, yada, yada, yada... Zane was extremely nervous. Now that he'd thought about it, though, he'd never been nervous before, not really. He'd always been the cool one, the calm one, the collected one, the go-to guy under pressure. But, now, this Psy Dragon organization was starting to scare him. At first he saw them as purely a nuisance, nothing more than an unnecessary bother. Now, though, after a public Shadow Duel, a terrorist attack, and a kidnapping, without Alexis there, while she shot the movie, he was almost afraid. Almost. Not quite. He needed fresh air. As nice as his fifth-floor apartment was, he needed a breath. He stepped on the balcony. He looked down. His eyes widened with shock. Although it was impossible, since he was right next to Central Park, a fissure was rapidly splitting the street, like a mad butcher, cleaving his helpless, well, dead victim with a bloody, razor-sharp blade. The source: his son, Paul, with his Duel Disk deployed, Rob's Orb of Light plugged into it, the Spell Card, Fissure, in his hand. It was heading right at his building. As soon as it hit, he dropped like a rock, bracing for impact... which never came. He realized immediately figured out what had happened. He was inside the fissure. After what felt like an eternity, Zane saw the bottom, which was home to all sorts of creatures, which must've fallen victim to the card during a Shadow Duel. As he neared the bottom, he flung his limbs out, to try and stop his plummet. He came to a slow, screeching halt, inches from the bottom. He dropped, and, amazingly, landed on his feet. He looked around to see his company; Flame Swordsman, Celtic Guardian, Dark Magician Arkana, and Sonic Bird, whose wing was broken, and, apparently, had no fuel left in its jetpack. "Arkana," Zane said, "How would you, and all of you, like to get out of here?" He saw that he had takers. He had a plan...

 

(Chapter 10) Two dark-clad figures on black Duel Runners, special motorcycles which have custom Duel Disks built into them, went speeding down 128th Street, in The Bronx, New York. And I mean speeding. With the ultra-powerful bikes, with engines far exceeding that of an average racing cycles, imported from New Domino, Japan, these things were going, at the very least, two-hundered miles per hour. The Psy Dragon logo was painted on the side. As they passed an old, abandoned, subway station, a stray bullet flew at the first Duel Runner, who had to pop a wheelie to avoid it. The driver's helmet flew off, revealing him to be Paul Truesdale. The man behind him threw off his helmet, too, revealing him as Andrew David. While they were still moving at at least one-hundred fifty miles per hour, they, in synch, spun a perfect donut, burning a ton of rubber, and pulling expertly in front of... a Manhattan apartment building, which had collapsed. Man, they'd been moving... they were in the Bronx just a few minutes ago. They looked at the huge, menacing, fissure. It was as a battle scar upon the Earth... truly fitting, as this was now a war. Suddenly, totally out of right field, a huge pillar of fire, which was, at least, twice the size of a boiling blast from Yellowstone's Old Faithful. In a state of utter shock, Paul frantically looked into the massive crevice, to try to find the source of the air-searing blast, when a Dark Magician Arkana on a jetpack was followed by a broken-winged, jetpackless Sonic Bird, Celtic Guardian, a Flame Swordsman, and... Zane Truesdale on a Cyber Dragon! It was incredible. Apparently, the flame came from the Dark Magician casting an air spell, launching the fire from Flame Swordsman's blade into the sky. Zane and his vast asortment of various Duel Monsters had touched the surface-level ground (Except for Cyber Dragon; he kinda floated). The two Psy Dragons, in the minds of Zane, Paul and Andy, were standing right in front of him. They thought that it was about to get ugly.

 

(Chapter 11)

 

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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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How about' date=' [i']Windy Duels[/i], you know, Chicago? By the way, this is a pretty decent Fanfic.

That'd actually be pretty good, but there's more than one main character. The other one's a Jewish kid named Mike, who was sold into slave-esque labor. Thanks, though.

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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

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loltriplepost?

 

The cards in Ch3 were total crap; I don't know if that was intended.

 

Space things out, will you? Walls of text are eyesores, and no one wants to read an eyesore.

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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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loltriplepost?

 

The cards in Ch3 were total crap; I don't know if that was intended.

 

Space things out' date=' will you? Walls of text are eyesores, and no one wants to read an eyesore.

[/quote']

Okay, I'll space them out more. And, no, I can't believe you didn't see the combo. Summon Relinquished by sacrificing Goblin Caligrapher, set Magic Cylander. End your turn. Opponent attacks. You use Magic Cylander. On your turn, use Relinquished's effect. Attack directly. End your turn. Your opponent will set a card. On your turn, summon Spear Dragon. You pierce his set card. You then attack directly with Relinquished. Bada-bing, you win.

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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

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loltriplepost?

 

The cards in Ch3 were total crap; I don't know if that was intended.

 

Space things out' date=' will you? Walls of text are eyesores, and no one wants to read an eyesore.

[/quote']

1) Okay, I'll space them out more.

2) And, no, I can't believe you didn't see the combo.

3) Summon Relinquished by sacrificing Goblin Caligrapher, set Magic Cylander. End your turn. Opponent attacks. You use Magic Cylander. On your turn, use Relinquished's effect. Attack directly. End your turn. Your opponent will set a card. On your turn, summon Spear Dragon. You pierce his set card. You then attack directly with Relinquished. Bada-bing, you win.

 

1) Good.

2) WTF?

3) First of all, I see no Black Illusion Ritual.

Secondly, how do you know what your opponent is going to do in a real Duel?

Thirdly, this is what happens if an opponent gets a really godly hand, assuming you do cheat and Summon Relinquished sans ritual:

  • Activate Foolish Burial, send Destiny Hero - Malicious to Graveyard
  • RFG Destiny Hero - Malicious to Special Summon another Destiny Hero - Malicious from your Deck
  • Activate Emergency Teleport to Special Summon Krebons
  • Normal Summon Armageddon Knight; send Plaguespreader Zombie to Graveyard
  • Place 1 card from hand on top of Deck to Special Summon the Plaguespreader Zombie
  • Synchro Summon with Armageddon Knight and Plaguespreader Zombie to Summon Goyo Guardian
  • Synchro Summon with Krebons and Destiny Hero - Malicious to Summon Stardust Dragon
  • Special Summon Dark Armed Dragon from hand
  • Activate Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy Magic Cylinder
  • Attack with all three for game

Be sure you lrn2ygo before writing fanfics about it.

 

Also, a new paragraph starts every time someone new is speaking.

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Southparkerstan Newbie

Southparkerstan

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Before even reading it, I have 2 suggestions. First, use spoilers. If you don't know how, here's the code

[spoiler=The spoiler's title goes here]The text within the spoiler goes here[/spoiler]

And the result:

[spoiler=The spoiler's title goes here]The text within the spoiler goes here

 

 

Second, instead of making a new post for every new chapter, just edit your first post and put them there. NOW I'll read and rate the story.

And I like it! It's very well written, and you've got the dueling started. Fix things the way I suggested above, and you got yourself a regular reader. Looking foreward to chapter 4. As for the title, I think Yu-Gi-Oh: Rising Up! would be a good idea, seeing as both characters talk about only being able to gain, not lose.

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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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loltriplepost?

 

The cards in Ch3 were total crap; I don't know if that was intended.

 

Space things out' date=' will you? Walls of text are eyesores, and no one wants to read an eyesore.

[/quote']

1) Okay, I'll space them out more.

2) And, no, I can't believe you didn't see the combo.

3) Summon Relinquished by sacrificing Goblin Caligrapher, set Magic Cylander. End your turn. Opponent attacks. You use Magic Cylander. On your turn, use Relinquished's effect. Attack directly. End your turn. Your opponent will set a card. On your turn, summon Spear Dragon. You pierce his set card. You then attack directly with Relinquished. Bada-bing, you win.

 

1) Good.

2) WTF?

3) First of all, I see no Black Illusion Ritual.

Secondly, how do you know what your opponent is going to do in a real Duel?

Thirdly, this is what happens if an opponent gets a really godly hand, assuming you do cheat and Summon Relinquished sans ritual:

  • Activate Foolish Burial, send Destiny Hero - Malicious to Graveyard
  • RFG Destiny Hero - Malicious to Special Summon another Destiny Hero - Malicious from your Deck
  • Activate Emergency Teleport to Special Summon Krebons
  • Normal Summon Armageddon Knight; send Plaguespreader Zombie to Graveyard
  • Place 1 card from hand on top of Deck to Special Summon the Plaguespreader Zombie
  • Synchro Summon with Armageddon Knight and Plaguespreader Zombie to Summon Goyo Guardian
  • Synchro Summon with Krebons and Destiny Hero - Malicious to Summon Stardust Dragon
  • Special Summon Dark Armed Dragon from hand
  • Activate Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy Magic Cylinder
  • Attack with all three for game

Be sure you lrn2ygo before writing fanfics about it.

 

Also, a new paragraph starts every time someone new is speaking.

Hey, bud, Black Illusion Ritual is his ritual. That, and this guy's a nub. This is the first round.

Before even reading it' date=' I have 2 suggestions. First, use spoilers. If you don't know how, here's the code

[spoiler=The spoiler's title goes here]The text within the spoiler goes here[/spoiler]

And the result:

[spoiler=The spoiler's title goes here']The text within the spoiler goes here

 

 

Second, instead of making a new post for every new chapter, just edit your first post and put them there. NOW I'll read and rate the story.

And I like it! It's very well written, and you've got the dueling started. Fix things the way I suggested above, and you got yourself a regular reader. Looking foreward to chapter 4. As for the title, I think Yu-Gi-Oh: Rising Up! would be a good idea, seeing as both characters talk about only being able to gain, not lose.

Thanks a lot! The only thing I don't want to do is the spoilers. I don't like them, and I never have. But, yeah, I'll use the chapters like that. Thanks again!

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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

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Double-space between paragraphs.

 

The plot temporarily stops during the Duels; therefore, said duels are boring. At least add some banter or something; after all, it's illegal not to announce your moves.

 

Jeremey should have drawn an additional card when Chainsaw Insect attacked per its effect.

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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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Double-space between paragraphs.

 

The plot temporarily stops during the Duels; therefore' date=' said duels are [i']boring[/i]. At least add some banter or something; after all, it's illegal not to announce your moves.

 

Jeremey should have drawn an additional card when Chainsaw Insect attacked per its effect.

Magic Cylander negates the attack; it never happened. Therefore, no cards are drawn.

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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

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Sorry, not used to that. I'm thinking of Mirror Force, probably because it's so much more consistent *hint hint*.

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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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Okay, if you've read this, you'll know that I made some of those cards here. I'll be posting them as I go along. There's an epilogue coming, and, eventually, a full-fledged sequal. I know you can't wait; no need to tell me. Also, I've got biographies on their ways. Enjoy!

[spoiler=Epilogue]After the smoke cleared, as idiom would have it, Jeremey used the money he earned as co-champion of the tournament to get his mama and him out of Chicago, and into Rodchester. It wasn't a mansion, not by any stretch, but it was enough to get by. The toilet actually flushed. The rest of the money was used on getting him through college, since he had just turned eighteen. He went to a small school, sure, but it wasn't horrible, and it got him a good, solid paycheck for the rest of his life. That's also where he met Jasmine. The two were married in 2011, when he was twenty. They had one child, a son, named Rob. He ended up moving to New York, and getting the orb from Jeremey... but that's another story. Mikey was still infatuated with Duel Monsters. He went to the Duel Academy, and getting into Obelisk Blue inside of a month. He laughed out loud at the thought, giving his past with the card... and the spirit. He had two kids, twins, both boys, to his ex-wife, whom he'd met at the Academy. They got married, and a year and a half later, she was outta there. It didn't matter much to him, though; after all, he still had Tim and Andy. He's now a professional duelist, with twelve championships under his belt. Three were co-championships with Jeremey. He gave his orb to his sons. Zane stayed close to the two for years and years, and was named Rob's godfather. He, himself, had a child, to Alexis Rhodes, named Paul. He was very well liked by Rob, Tim, and Andy, all of them calling him "Uncle Zane." Paul enrolled in the Duel Academy, but quickly dropped out. The lifestyle "Just wasn't his speed," and traveled around with Rob, in hopes of finding... something. Anything to shake off the same-old, same-old. Even though he seems different to Zane and Alexis in many different ways, he played a deck which combined both of theirs; a Cyber Warrior deck. Very similar. Perhaps, too similar...

 

[spoiler=Sneak Peek!]The year was drawing to a close... in about a half minute. Rob sighed. It seemed like 2036 just started, and in fifteen seconds, it'd be gone. Man, was it cold. He'd never come out to Times Square for New Years again. Whoops, he almost missed the count-down. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!! He felt a slight vibration... his phone wasn't ringing. He was looking around for a possible source in his pocket, and he looked at the orb his father, Jeremey, had given him. It was shaking violently, and glowing at least five times brighter than it ever had before. He knew something big was going to happen.

 

 

 

[spoiler=Jeremey's Bio]NAME: Jeremey Jones

Known relatives: Mother: Ruby Jones, Father: ??? Jones (Deceased), Wife: Jasmine Jones, Son: Robert Jones

BORN: June 2, 1991, Chicago, Illinois

DIED: N/A

Carrer Highlights: Won Kaiba Corp. National Tournament, also, two Tag-Force championships, all with Michael David.

Time Line: 1991: Born; 1992: Father dies; 1996: Starts school; 2009: Graduates High School; 2009; Wins first tournament; 2010: Starts college; 2012: Graduates college; 2014: Married; 2020: Rob born; 2020: Second tournament won; 2022: Latest tournament won; [spoiler=Actual Spoiler; read at own risk]2037: Becomes chairman of Duel Academy

 

 

 

 

[spoiler=Mikey's Bio]NAME: Michael David

Known Relatives: ???? David, father (deceased), ???? David, mother (deceased), and Joseph David, brother (deceased), Tim and Andy David, sons.

BORN: April 19, 1990

DIED: N/A

Career Highlights: Won first tournament, 2009. Won second, third, and fourth (United States, North America, and World Tagforce {w/ Jeremey}, respectively.]), in 2011-2014. Entered and won several more tournaments. Won latest tournament, Duel Academey Invitational Tagforce (w/Jeremey), 2022.

Timeline: 1990, Born. 1994, starts school (Pre-Kindergarten Hebrew). 2001, orphanated (World Trade Center attack, 9/11). 2002, sold into slave-like labor, aboard a contraband-dealing ship. 2009, escapes, and enters (winning) first tournament. (Approximate) 2011-2015, studied at Duel Academy, making a name for himself in the P.D.A (Pro Dueling Association), by rising through the ranks and winning several tournaments. 2019, married to Elizabeth David. 2020, Tim and Andy born (twins), also divorced Elizabeth. 2022, won latest tournament, The World Tagforce Showdown, with Jeremey.

 

[spoiler=Actual Spoiler; read at own risk]2037, Is inducted into the PDA Hall of Fame

 

 

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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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Why don't you use spoilers? That way the fist post isn't all that long...

I don't really like spoilers; I think they're a cheater's version of a book, you know? I spent a while making this, so just enjoy the story. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post, though. Thanks!

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Guest Supreme Gamesmaster

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Why don't you use spoilers? That way the fist post isn't all that long...

I don't really like spoilers; I think they're a cheater's version of a book' date=' you know? I spent a while making this, so just enjoy the story. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post, though. Thanks!

[/quote']

Not that kind of spoiler; spoiler tags. >.<

 

A little early for a sequel, isn't it? You've barely started this.

 

Nitton is right; these chapters are miniscule.

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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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Chapters are too short. And too compact. Edit.

Well' date=' sir, I can safely say that you are a moron. Did you even read it? One through six-ish are pretty dainty, but after that are pretty lengthy. So, uh, think before you speak.[hr']

Why don't you use spoilers? That way the fist post isn't all that long...

I don't really like spoilers; I think they're a cheater's version of a book' date=' you know? I spent a while making this, so just enjoy the story. I appreciate you taking the time to read my post, though. Thanks!

[/quote']

Not that kind of spoiler; spoiler tags. >.<

 

A little early for a sequel, isn't it? You've barely started this.

 

Nitton is right; these chapters are miniscule.

Pardon my asking this, but are you retarded? Dude, I've finished it. Please, in the future, READ THE F****** POST BEFORE YOU RANT!!! And, one through seven-ish are pretty small, they pick up after that. And as for the spoiler tags, they're already done. Thanks for your time.

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Umbra Newbie

Umbra

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Chapters are too short. And too compact. Edit.

Well' date=' sir, I can safely say that you are a moron. Did you even read it? One through six-ish are pretty dainty, but after that are pretty lengthy. So, uh, think before you speak.

[/quote']

 

Chapter Eleven, written in OpenOffice 3.0 in Times New Roman size 12 is little more than one A4. The other chapters of the later third are about the same length. A good length for a chapter is - AT LEAST - four times that. In other words, you're wrong.

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Kenny Bohner Newbie

Kenny Bohner

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Chapters are too short. And too compact. Edit.

Well' date=' sir, I can safely say that you are a moron. Did you even read it? One through six-ish are pretty dainty, but after that are pretty lengthy. So, uh, think before you speak.

[/quote']

 

Chapter Eleven, written in OpenOffice 3.0 in Times New Roman size 12 is little more than one A4. The other chapters of the later third are about the same length. A good length for a chapter is - AT LEAST - four times that. In other words, you're wrong.

According to who? You? What is this, you're suddenly dictating what is and is not acceptable to include in a chapter in somebody else's story? Uhhh... yeah... if you think you can do any better, show me. Seriously, put your money where your mouth is.

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Umbra Newbie

Umbra

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Me, the decent writers of this site and the authors of this planet. I don't think a publisher would even consider printing something like this, and that's what you are: You're both writer and publisher in one.

 

Not that I actually have to be better than you to criticize you - I mean, that would ruin entire businesses, should be a universal law - Here's a prime example of my work.

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